Seen by Birkman

Amy Shepley and Torri Olanski
  • 5.0 (5)
  • Society & Culture
  • Biweekly

You know that moment when someone names something about you that you’ve never had words for… and suddenly, you feel seen. Not in a way that’s flattering or critical. Just really… real. That’s what this podcast is about. On Seen by Birkman, hosts Amy Shepley and Torri Olanski explore real stories, practical applications, and honest conversations about what it actually looks like to be understood through the power of perception. Each episode dives into the patterns behind behavior and how greater awareness can transform the way we work, lead, and relate to each other.

  1. 4d ago

    Emotional Energy: Feeling vs. Expressing

    Most of us assume that expressing emotions and actually processing them are the same thing. They are not, and that gap is at the center of this conversation. Amy and Torri dig into the Birkman Emotional Energy Component, one of the most misunderstood measures in the assessment. They unpack why it has nothing to do with whether you have feelings, challenge the gender stereotypes that surround it, and explore what it actually looks like to sit with an emotion rather than perform it, suppress it, or vent it into the void. The bigger question underneath all of it: if feeling your feelings is the most important skill a person can develop, why does almost nobody teach it? Key Takeaways Why Emotional Energy measures how often feelings are expressed, not whether they exist at allHow venting can feel like processing while actually keeping you stuck in the emotionWhat the difference between high and low emotional energy really means for how people build safety and make sense of the worldWhy feelings are data for leaders, not noise to be managed or eliminatedHow to actually feel a feeling, and why the brain getting involved is a sign you have already stopped doing it Timestamps 2:03 Defining the Emotional Energy Component 7:06 Gender myths and cultural stereotypes 18:11 Venting vs. actually feeling the feeling 32:52 High vs. Low Emotional Energy, different traps 44:03 Emotions as leadership data 47:56 Practical tips and homework

  2. Oct 13

    Component Series: What Your Physical Energy Level Really Says About You

    We live in a world that rewards busyness, but being busy and being productive are not the same thing. In this episode, Amy and Torri dig into one of the most socially loaded Components in the Birkman framework: Physical Energy, and why the way we read other people's pace is almost always wrong.From the high-energy person who resents being rushed, to the low-energy person who actually thrives when more is put on their plate, every pattern carries a hidden story that most people around them never see. The hosts get personal, sharing their own patterns and the real cost of mistaking someone's natural pace for their character or commitment.The bigger question this episode leaves open: whose pace have you been judging by your own standard, and what would change if you stopped? Key Takeaways - Why being the most productive person in the room can quietly become a liability - What the gap between your usual energy and your actual Need reveals about burnout risk - How the rarest Physical Energy pattern is also the most misread by managers and partners alike - Why stillness is not laziness, and busyness is not always a sign that something real is getting done - How the pace you expect from others is shaped more by your own wiring than by any objective standard Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction to Physical Energy 2:30 - Myths about productivity and pace 7:59 - High Usual, Low Need: the most common pattern 33:00 - High-High: when busyness becomes identity 34:00 - Low-Low: deliberate pace and the proof problem 42:59 - Low Usual, high Need: the rarest pattern 49:59 - Closing reflections and questions to sit with

  3. Sep 29

    Understanding Social Energy: It’s More Than Introvert vs. Extrovert

    Social energy is one of the most misunderstood dimensions of personality, and it has almost nothing to do with whether you like people. Amy and Torri open a new series diving deep into the components of the Birkman Method, starting with the one that shapes more relationships, conflicts, and quiet resentments than almost any other. From the couple who nearly divorced over backyard barbecues to the leader who schedules week-long retreats that exhaust her entire team, the stories here are familiar. What is less familiar is the framework underneath them, one that explains why the same person can light up a room and then disappear for three days without it being a contradiction. The conversation covers all four social energy patterns, including the one Amy calls the most important and least understood: the person who looks like they want to be left alone but is quietly waiting to be invited in. Key Takeaways - Why social energy and extroversion are not the same thing, and why collapsing them creates real blind spots - What the most common social energy pattern looks like from the outside versus what it actually costs the person living it - Why a leader's idea of a great team retreat can be another person's idea of a slow drain - How the least common social energy pattern gets misread by almost everyone around it, including the people who care most - What it actually means to model self-care for the people who depend on you, at work and at home - Why the data a person shows you is often the worst place to look for what they actually need Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction and series overview 1:40 - The couple who almost divorced over social energy 4:25 - Extroversion vs. social energy - clearing up the confusion 9:56 - What social energy scores do and do not tell you 31:40 - The high-usual, low-need pattern - the social butterfly who needs to disappear 53:00 - The low-low pattern - selectively social and often overlooked 1:01:00 - The rarest pattern - quietly waiting to be pulled in

  4. Sep 15

    Seen & Unscripted: Collaboration Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait

    Can you actually be a “collaborative person,” or is collaboration something all of us have to learn?In this episode of Seen & Unscripted, Amy and Torri explore why collaboration is a skill, not a personality trait. They unpack how different Birkman scores can shape the way we collaborate, why seemingly collaborative strengths can be overused, and how quieter, more independent or competitive people can bring exactly what a team needs.Key Takeaways- Collaboration is a skill that every personality can develop.- Traits that look collaborative on the surface do not automatically make someone a better collaborator.- Your personality can explain why something takes more effort, but it should not become an excuse for avoiding that work.- When someone disagrees with their Birkman report, curiosity is more useful than trying to convince them they are wrong.- Self-awareness is an ongoing practice because how you show up changes depending on who else is in the room.Timestamps01:19 - Why collaboration is a skill, not a personality trait04:26 - Can you be too collaborative?08:20 - What quieter and more competitive people bring to collaboration09:35 - The danger of calling yourself “self-aware” or “collaborative”12:18 - When a coworker uses their personality as an excuse17:35 - What if someone disagrees with their Birkman report?28:01 - Amy and Torri see their own Birkman patterns in childhood

  5. Sep 1

    Seen & Unscripted: On Incentives, Change, What We'd Ask Dr. B & More

    Episode Description What happens when Amy and Torri answer questions they have not seen in advance? In this episode of Seen & Unscripted, they tackle four very different questions, from how to motivate a team with high Incentives Needs to how leaders should communicate change when they do not have all the answers. The conversation also gets more personal as they reflect on what they would ask Dr. Roger Birkman today and which single piece of Birkman information can reveal the most about a person. Along the way, they explore motivation, leadership, uncertainty, Image Management, and why Birkman becomes most useful when the data turns into conversation. Key Moments High Incentives Needs can be a major source of energy and motivation when leaders create clear paths for individual wins.Teams can become more competitive with each other when incentives are left undefined or unmanaged.Leaders do not need certainty to communicate change. They need honesty and as much clarity as they can provide.Vulnerability from a leader can invite better ideas and stronger participation from the team.Amy and Torri reflect on what they would want to ask Dr. Roger Birkman about the future.Image Management can reveal a great deal about how someone navigates identity, perception, and the social world. Timestamps 00:35 - Introducing another Seen & Unscripted episode 01:33 - How to motivate a team with high Incentives Needs 10:49 - Communicating change when you do not have all the answers 17:47 - What Amy and Torri would ask Dr. Roger Birkman 28:36 - The smallest Birkman insight with the biggest impact 31:17 - Why Image Management reveals so much 36:14 - Why the most meaningful Birkman insight depends on the person

  6. Aug 11

    Seen & Unscripted

    What happens when Amy and Torri show up unscripted?In the first Seen & Unscripted episode, they answer questions they have never seen before, covering psychological safety, unmet Needs at work, overused strengths, and the thinkers who have shaped how they see people and leadership.The conversation moves from practical workplace challenges to personal reflections, with a common thread throughout: greater self-awareness requires paying attention to yourself, the people around you, and the impact you may be having without realizing it. Key Moments Psychological safety can be damaged by subtle leadership habits that seem harmless.Safety and comfort are different, and healthy teams need room for disagreement.Understanding your Needs can help you advocate for what allows you to do your best work.A strength can become counterproductive when it is overused in the wrong situation.Other people’s reactions can reveal blind spots that are difficult to recognize on your own.Amy and Torri share the thinkers and ideas that have influenced their approach to work, growth, and self-awareness. Timestamps00:49 - Introducing Seen & Unscripted03:27 - The leadership habits that quietly destroy psychological safety07:04 - Psychological safety vs. psychological comfort13:10 - What to do when your Needs are not being met at work18:36 - How to recognize an overused strength25:02 - What silence can reveal about psychological safety26:13 - The thought leaders who inspire Amy and Torri

  7. Jul 28

    The Problem With Conflict

    Conflict isn't usually the problem. In this episode, Amy and Torri explore why so much conflict at work, at home, and in our relationships begins with a simple misunderstanding: we assume other people see the world the way we do. They unpack why two well-intentioned people can experience the exact same situation in completely different ways, how hidden personality differences shape our reactions, and why trying to eliminate conflict often creates even bigger problems. Rather than seeing conflict as something to avoid, they argue that healthy conflict—paired with curiosity and understanding—is one of the most powerful drivers of trust, innovation, and stronger relationships. Key Moments -  Why most conflict starts with different perceptions, not bad intentions. -  The hidden assumptions that damage relationships. -  How different personality needs create completely different experiences of the same conversation. -  Why curiosity is more powerful than certainty. -  The difference between destructive conflict and productive tension. -  How understanding another person's perspective can completely change the conversation. Timestamps 6:13 - Why tension between teams is actually healthy 17:12 - The leader's real job: managing tension 30:13 - Why 99% of conflict is a misunderstanding 38:24 - Why productive conflict drives innovation 49:56 - Stop trying to eliminate conflict 1:03:11 - The question that changes every conflict Episode Links: Barry Johnson Ph.D., Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems: https://www.amazon.com/Polarity-Management-Identifying-Managing-Unsolvable/dp/0874251761

  8. Jul 14

    The Hidden World of Needs: Part 2

    In Part 2 of this conversation on Needs, Amy and Torri explore what happens after we become aware of our Needs. They discuss why unmet Needs create discomfort, how the stories we attach to them create unnecessary suffering, and how greater self-awareness can lead to more freedom, healthier relationships, and a deeper appreciation for who we are. Rather than trying to eliminate our Needs, they explore how accepting them, advocating for them, and loosening our attachment to unmet expectations can change the way we experience work, leadership, and everyday life. Key Moments - Part 2 explores the deeper emotional and personal side of Needs. - Unmet Needs create discomfort, but the stories we attach to them often create the greatest suffering. - Awareness is only the beginning. Growth comes through appreciation, communication, and practice. - Letting go of attachment does not mean ignoring your Needs or pretending they do not matter. - Understanding your reactions can become a powerful tool for self-awareness. - Loving your Needs instead of judging them can change your relationship with yourself and others. Timestamps 01:33 - When Needs become more than a workplace tool 06:02 - Are we becoming attached to our Needs? 11:29 - The stages of growth with Birkman Needs 20:44 - The story we tell ourselves when Needs go unmet 30:11 - Feeling discomfort without adding more suffering 35:13 - Why we notice others' flaws before our own 39:08 - Learning to appreciate your Needs instead of fighting them 45:00 - Why this conversation is the future of work

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

You know that moment when someone names something about you that you’ve never had words for… and suddenly, you feel seen. Not in a way that’s flattering or critical. Just really… real. That’s what this podcast is about. On Seen by Birkman, hosts Amy Shepley and Torri Olanski explore real stories, practical applications, and honest conversations about what it actually looks like to be understood through the power of perception. Each episode dives into the patterns behind behavior and how greater awareness can transform the way we work, lead, and relate to each other.

Information

  • Creator
    Amy Shepley and Torri Olanski
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Amy Shepley and Torri Olanski
  • Show Website
    Seen by Birkman

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