The Bold Not Beige Podcast

BoldNotBeige
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Bold Not Beige is the podcast for high-achieving women who are ready to stop holding back and show up more fully in their lives. Hosted by confidence coach and color expert Erin Hilman and women’s leadership coach Ellen Steinlein, each episode fuses personal style and bold leadership coaching to help you take up space and speak with conviction. Each week, you’ll get practical tools, real-life stories, and the occasional permission slip to go after what you really want.

Episodes

  1. 1d ago

    Ep 12: Silencing the Inner Critic

    That voice in your head that questions everything you do? It didn't show up to ruin your life — but it might be running it. In this episode, Erin and Ellen dig into the psychology behind the inner critic: where it comes from, why high-achieving women are especially vulnerable to it, and what to actually do when it's louder than everything else. They cover: Why the inner critic develops as a protective mechanism (and why that makes it so hard to shake) The link between self-objectification, impossible social expectations, and mental exhaustion Why achievement can't permanently fix shame — and what actually can The surprising research on self-compassion vs. self-criticism A live walkthrough of Byron Katie's The Work — four questions that can loosen the grip of any thought that's keeping you stuck Plus the Bold Tip of the Week: one tiny language shift that creates space between you and a spiraling story before it takes over. Your inner critic is not proof you're failing. It's evidence of how deeply you learned to monitor yourself in order to feel safe. This episode is about changing that relationship, without losing your drive. 🎙️ Listen, follow, and share with a friend who needs this one. 📲 Instagram: @boldnotbeigeco 🌐 boldnotbeige.com

    Ep 12: Silencing the Inner Critic

  2. Jul 7

    Ep 11: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say

    Ever freeze up when someone says something hurtful, crosses a line, or catches you completely off guard — only to find your perfect comeback three hours later in the shower? You're not alone, and it's not a personal failing. In this episode, Erin and Ellen unpack why hard conversations feel so physiologically activating for women, why directness has been unfairly coded as aggression, and how to find your footing when your brain temporarily leaves the building. You'll learn: Why your nervous system hijacks your words before logic ever gets a chance The difference between fight, flight, freeze — and the often-overlooked fourth response: fawning Why women use minimizing language and what it quietly does to self-trust over time Go-to phrases for buying yourself time, naming a boundary, and disagreeing without apologizing for it How to receive feedback without letting it collapse into a story about who you are What assertiveness actually is (hint: it's not what most of us were taught) This week's Bold Not Beige tip: Choose one grounding phrase and practice it before you desperately need it. Start with "I need a moment to think." Connect with us on Instagram @boldnotbeigeco and at boldnotbeige.com.

    Ep 11: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say

  3. Jun 30

    Ep 10: How to Ask for What You Want

    Asking for what you need sounds simple — until you're standing at a coffee counter holding the wrong drink, convincing yourself it's easier to just drink it. In this episode, Erin and Ellen get into why asking feels so hard (hint: it's not a character flaw), what it actually costs us when we stay silent, and how to break the pattern. Ellen introduces her BOLD Ask Framework — a four-step tool for communicating with clarity and confidence, even when your voice shakes. What you'll hear: Why so many women were conditioned to stay quiet and keep others comfortable How people-pleasing turns into resentment (and why the dishes are never really about the dishes) The difference between dropping hints and actually owning your message A breakdown of the BOLD Framework: Believe in You, Own Your Message, Listen with Intent, Declare Your Needs & Boundaries Real-world scripts for asking for deadline extensions, protecting your after-hours time, and pushing back on an overloaded plate Why assertiveness isn't about being loud — it's about being real Bold Tip of the Week: Think of one ask you've been holding back, the one you've rehearsed in your head but never said out loud. Write it down, run it through the BOLD Framework, and make the ask. Even if your voice shakes. Find us on Instagram: @boldnotbeigeco Visit us at: boldnotbeige.com If this episode resonated, we'd love it if you'd leave a review and hit subscribe — it helps more women find their way to this conversation.

    Ep 10: How to Ask for What You Want

  4. Jun 23

    Ep 9: Style as a Power Move

    What if the way you dress has been quietly rehearsing invisibility,  and you didn't even know it? In this episode, Erin and Ellen dig into the real reason so many high-achieving women default to neutral, forgettable outfits: not because they lack style, but because they've been conditioned to minimize themselves before they even walk in the room. This one's about a lot more than clothes. What we cover: Why women learn to disappear  and how it shows up visually before you've said a single word. The psychology of color and what your palette is actually communicating (red, blue, green, and what each signals to the room). Ellen's story of wearing a magenta jumpsuit to a keynote when her whole family said it was too pink — and what happened after. The difference between dressing to avoid attention and dressing to express yourself, and the emotional cost of getting that backwards for years. Why visibility feels unsafe for women who grew up people-pleasing, and how style gives you a low-risk place to practice being seen every day. The question that changes everything: not "what will bother people the least?" but "what would allow me to show up most fully as myself?" Bold Tip of the Week: Pick one meeting or moment where you need to be heard and dress for it on purpose. Notice what shifts in your energy, your posture, your tone. Connect with us: Instagram: @boldnotbeigeco Website: boldnotbeige.com Ready for a wardrobe refresh? Slide into our DMs. Stay bold, not beige.

    Ep 9: Style as a Power Move

  5. Jun 16

    Ep: 8 The Messy Middle

    Think you’re stuck, behind, or doing life “wrong”? Think again. In this episode, Erin and Ellen explore the messy middle—that uncomfortable, disorienting space between who you used to be and who you’re becoming. It’s the part of growth most people try to rush through, avoid, or fix. But what if nothing is wrong? What if this is exactly what transformation feels like? They unpack why uncertainty feels so intense for high achievers, how grief often shows up inside identity shifts, and why we confuse performing with becoming. Through deeply personal stories—including Ellen’s experience of being laid off and rebuilding her identity—they reveal what it really takes to stay in the in-between without abandoning yourself. You’ll also hear this week’s Bold Tips: simple practices to help you stay grounded when life feels unclear, including a way to track what actually energizes you and a powerful mantra to anchor you in transition. If you’ve been questioning your direction, your identity, or your next step—this episode is for you. What the “messy middle” actually is (and why it’s not a problem to fix) Why uncertainty triggers urgency, overthinking, and control-seeking The difference between performing your life and actually becoming it Ellen’s story of identity loss after being laid off—and what shifted Why grief is often part of growth, not a sign you’re doing it wrong The “Spark List” and how to notice what’s quietly pulling you forward Why slowing down is often the most powerful leadership move Follow us on Instagram Instagram @boldnotbeigeco and visit us at BoldNotBeige boldnotbeige.com.

    Ep: 8 The Messy Middle

  6. Jun 9

    Ep 7: Is Coaching Just Therapy in a Cute Outfit?

    Think life coaching is just therapy with better branding? Think again. In this episode, Erin and Ellen pull back the curtain on what coaching actually is — and why it's a completely different kind of partnership than therapy. They break down the real reasons women stay stuck (hint: it's rarely about the thing you think it's about), share vulnerable personal stories about people-pleasing, the "Nice Girl Trap," and the belief that rest has to be earned — and walk through how coaching helped them rewrite those stories from the inside out. You'll also get this week's Bold Tip: one simple question you can ask yourself right now to interrupt the thoughts quietly running your life. If you've ever said "I'll be happy when…" or stayed silent when you had something to say — this episode is for you. In this episode: What the ICF definition of coaching actually means (and why it matters) Why feelings aren't random — and what's really underneath them Erin's "Nice Girl Trap" and how it was keeping her small Ellen's breakthrough around rest, productivity, and self-worth The Bold Tip of the Week: "What am I thinking that's causing this feeling?" Follow us on Instagram @boldnotbeigeco and visit us at boldnotbeige.com. If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review and subscribe — it helps more women find their way here.

    Ep 7: Is Coaching Just Therapy in a Cute Outfit?

  7. Jun 2

    Ep 6: Permission to Want More (Without the Guilt)

    Have you ever caught yourself wanting something — more freedom, more joy, more you — and immediately felt guilty for it? Ellen and Erin get into exactly that in this episode, unpacking why so many high-achieving women have been conditioned to shrink their desires, and what it actually looks like to want more without apology. They explore where the guilt comes from (hint: it's been baked in for decades), why self-sacrifice has been falsely sold as a virtue, and how the way we dress, speak, and take up space is all connected to what we believe we're allowed to want. You'll also hear both Ellen and Erin get real about their own "quiet wants" — the ones they've been too guilty to claim — and walk through the small, practical steps they're each taking to change that. In this episode: Why desire is a muscle, and how to start building it The link between your wardrobe and your willingness to ask for what you need What self-concordant goals actually are and why they matter How modeling your own desires gives silent permission to the people around you Bold Tip of the Week: Write down three things you've been quietly wanting but haven't let yourself claim. Don't filter, don't justify — just write. Then pick one micro-step toward one of them.

    Ep 6: Permission to Want More (Without the Guilt)

  8. May 26

    Ep 5: The Capsule Wardrobe Lie

    The capsule wardrobe has been sold as the ultimate style fix — ten neutral pieces, zero stress, a perfectly curated life. But for most real, multi-dimensional women? It's more limiting than liberating. In this episode, Ellen sits down with style coach Erin to unpack why the classic capsule wardrobe formula so often falls flat, and what actually works instead. Erin introduces the concept of wardrobe zones — intentional mini capsules built around the different versions of you that show up throughout your week. Your power pieces for the boardroom. Your comfy-but-still-you weekend uniform. Your cozy-at-home staples that don't require you to choose between cute and comfortable. They also dig into something most style advice skips entirely: getting dressed is emotional. Your clothes aren't just covering your body — they're supporting your nervous system, your confidence, and your sense of self. When your wardrobe is working, you barely have to think about it. When it isn't, you feel it. Plus, Erin shares a simple, low-lift tip you can try this week to cut through decision fatigue and start your day feeling grounded. Listen now, then find us on Instagram @boldnotbeigeco and visit boldnotbeige.com. If this episode resonated, please subscribe and leave a review — it helps other women find the show and start showing up fully, just like you.

    Ep 5: The Capsule Wardrobe Lie

  9. May 19

    Ep 4: How to Measure a Life Worth Living

    What if the finish line you've been chasing was never yours to begin with? In this episode of Bold Not Beige, Ellen and Erin get honest about why achieving more so often leads to feeling less — and what we might want to measure instead. They unpack the inherited "scorecards" most of us grew up with (career titles, relationship status, the curated Instagram feed), share real stories about the invisible labor behind big decisions, and explore the quiet trap of "someday" thinking — the way satisfaction always seems to be one more milestone away. The conversation lands on a genuinely different question: instead of asking was I productive today?, what if you asked did today energize me? Ellen and Erin introduce their Bold Metrics framework — RISE — as a way to start tracking what actually makes a life feel good to live: R — Radiance (did I show up as myself?) I — Integrity (was I honest with myself and others?) S — Synergy (did I experience real connection?) E — Energy (did I protect and restore my energy?) This one is for anyone who's hit a milestone and felt... nothing. Or who's tired of sprinting toward a finish line that keeps moving.

    Ep 4: How to Measure a Life Worth Living

  10. May 11

    Ep 3: When Your Clothes Tell the Truth

    What if your outfit this morning was sending a message you didn't mean to send? In this episode, Ellen sits down with style and color coach Erin to explore one of the most overlooked forms of self-expression: what we choose to wear — and what it reveals about how we're really doing. Erin shares her own story of losing herself during COVID lockdowns, how swapping the hoodie for something intentional became an act of healing, and why style isn't about fashion rules — it's about alignment. They talk about emotional camouflage, decision fatigue, and why putting on flattering pants takes exactly the same number of steps as throwing on pajama bottoms (but the ripple effect couldn't be more different). This one is for anyone who's ever hidden in neutrals, dressed for a version of themselves that no longer exists, or run into someone at the coffee shop wishing they'd gotten dressed that day. This week's Bold Not Beige tip: The One-Step Upgrade — one tiny intentional choice that can shift your whole day. Loved this episode? Subscribe so you never miss a conversation, and leave us a review — it's the best way to help more women find the show. Show us your One-Step Upgrade this week: @boldnotbeigeco Learn more at boldnotbeige.com

    Ep 3: When Your Clothes Tell the Truth

  11. May 11

    Ep 2: Burnout is Not a Badge of Honor

    Somewhere along the way, exhaustion became a status symbol — and we're calling it out. In this episode, Ellen and Erin get honest about the kind of burnout that doesn't look like falling apart. It looks like showing up perfectly, saying yes to everything, and quietly unraveling inside. They dig into the sneaky ways burnout disguises itself as dedication, why high-achieving women are especially susceptible, and what it actually feels like when your body and soul start sending distress signals. You'll hear the real stuff — Ellen's guilt about being half-present during Barbie playtime, Erin's insomnia driven by imaginary finish lines, and the moment both of them had to learn that rest is not a reward you earn. This week's Bold Not Beige tip: a 2-Minute Mood Check-In you can do at breakfast, lunch, and dinner to build emotional awareness before burnout takes over. If you've ever pushed through when you should have paused — this one's for you. Subscribe, leave a review, and find us at boldnotbeige.com and on Instagram @boldnotbeigeco

    Ep 2: Burnout is Not a Badge of Honor

  12. May 11

    Ep 1: Stop Performing. Start Living. (Why We Created Bold Not Beige)

    You’ve done everything right. Built the career. Shown up for everyone. Held it all together. So why does it still feel like something’s missing? In this very first episode of Bold Not Beige, we’re getting real about what it actually looks like to be a high-achieving woman who’s quietly running on empty—stuck between who the world expects you to be and who you know you’re meant to become. We talk about the pressure to be agreeable, the habit of staying quiet when it matters most, and how so many women lose themselves in the process of doing it all. And more importantly—we share what it looks like to start coming back to yourself. This episode is your permission slip to stop performing and start living. In This Episode, We Cover: Why so many high-achieving women feel exhausted (even when everything “looks good” on paper)How your style and presence shape the way you show up—and how others respondThe connection between confidence, communication, and self-worthThe story behind Bold Not Beige and why we created this spaceSmall, powerful shifts that help you reconnect with your voice and identityWhat to Expect This Season Real conversations about: Speaking up without over-explainingSetting boundaries that actually stickRebuilding confidence from the inside outUsing color and style as tools for self-expressionLetting go of the pressure to be everything to everyoneFollow us on Instagram: @boldnotbeigeco or find us at https://www.boldnotbeige.com/ Tag us + use #confidencecue so we can cheer you on

    Ep 1: Stop Performing. Start Living. (Why We Created Bold Not Beige)
  • 12 Episodes

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Bold Not Beige is the podcast for high-achieving women who are ready to stop holding back and show up more fully in their lives. Hosted by confidence coach and color expert Erin Hilman and women’s leadership coach Ellen Steinlein, each episode fuses personal style and bold leadership coaching to help you take up space and speak with conviction. Each week, you’ll get practical tools, real-life stories, and the occasional permission slip to go after what you really want.

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