But where are you really from?

Lena Rexhepi
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But Where Are You Really From? is a podcast for those who feel like they don’t fully belong anywhere. For many that question is a reminder of being seen as different. Hosted by Lena, the podcast explores identity, belonging, culture, love and so much more. Real unfiltered talk is the goal. So the listener feels like they are a part of an intimate conversation. Together with friends and guests, Lena shares honest reflections through talks that balance laughter, failure, success, love, warmth, and wisdom in 3 languages (English, Danish and Albanian) More at: www.lenarexhepi.com /ig: lenarex

  1. 23h ago

    Feminism and Injustice - A free Danish spirit

    Episode 61 This episode I'm joined by Rebekka, a 28-year-old Danish activist. I found her Instagram page and loved how openly she talks about injustice. She volunteers, posts about injustice online and studies cultural encounters at Roskilde University. Her focus there is decolonization and structural racism. Injustice has shaped my own life too, as a former Kosovo war refugee who grew up under occupation. We start with feminism. Rebekka explains how her own experiences as a woman, including growing up in foster care, led her to the fight. I share my own early experience of harassment. We also talk about how women are told from a young age that they're never good enough, and about how femininity gets treated as weakness. Rebekka puts it best: "I don't hate men. I just love women so much to know that we deserve more." From there we get into the manosphere and online hate. Rebekka talks about the "hippie" and "you'll die alone" comments she gets. She also talks about the moments when the hate has felt unsafe in real life. We talk about what it means to choose a full life on your own terms, even if that is "alone on a balcony," and about grieving the life you were told you should have. We also cover: staying grounded in a digital world, including Rebekka's flip phonetaking up space as a womanhow gamified capitalism can make us feel like we're doing something when we're only repostingwhy real-life community matters Rebekka ends with advice I'm taking with me: community is the antidote to despair. Taking up space helps when you feel small. And "the most freeing thing you can ever do is ruin your own reputation." I share how free I feel after being booted out the corporate world. You can find Rebecca on Instagram: _r.eleonora_

    Feminism and Injustice - A free Danish spirit

  2. 3d ago

    Dating advice with London Dating Coach Anita - Top 3 ways to do it by the end

    Episode 60 In this episode, I sit down with my good friend Anita from Alpha Bonds Agency. She's a London-based matchmaker and dating coach, and she's also happily married with a child. We talk about dating as an immigrant woman, and about how hard dating is for everyone right now. Anita shares how her own dating life changed once she experienced a healthy marriage. She explains why immigration can make dating harder: when you miss a sense of belonging, you can end up looking for it in the wrong people. She also talks about why repeating the same kind of partner is a pattern, not bad luck. I push back on her throughout. I'm Albanian, I grew up in Denmark and I now live in Sweden. I like a slow burn, and love-bombing has never worked on me. I also admit the pressure I feel as I turn 37, and that chemistry can't be manufactured.I get real, personal advice too. Anita challenges me about a guy who's been messaging me, and she says to give him a chance instead of deciding before we've even met.Anita's three tips for dating today: If there's interest, say so and suggest meeting up. Throw the other person the ball.Avoid texting. Messages are easily misread, so move to a real conversation.Give people a chance to get to know you, and speak up when something bothers you on a date.I went in skeptical of dating coaches, and this conversation changed my mind. If you like the episode, follow Anita on Instagram at Alpha Bonds Agency, and please follow and rate the show!

    Dating advice with London Dating Coach Anita - Top 3 ways to do it by the end

  3. Oct 25

    My Sunday Blues - What is that about? Sad girl thoughts...

    Episode 59 Episode description: Every Sunday evening, usually after 5 p.m., a familiar wave of sadness and melancholy washes over me. I've experienced this feeling since childhood, and despite being a bubbly, optimistic person, I carry an undercurrent of sadness that seems to surface every Sunday like clockwork. In this mini episode, I explore my Sunday blues, why Sundays feel like a weekly birthday, and how they make me reflect on my life, my choices, my past and the people I've loved and lost. I talk about my tendency to overthink and intellectualize my emotions, my need to find meaning in everything, and how difficult it can be to simply sit with a feeling without trying to fix it. I've always seen Monday mornings as a fresh start, a chance to wash away the previous week and begin again. But what if the lesson isn't to find a remedy for every feeling? What if, sometimes, we simply need to surrender, let ourselves feel the sadness and allow life to unfold? I don't have all the answers, but perhaps learning to sit with my Sunday blues is part of learning to sit with myself. Do you experience the Sunday blues, too? I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you'd like to read more, check out my Substack, Life Wisdom by Lena. https://lenarexhepi.substack.com/p/my-sunday-blues?r=98b5qj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

    My Sunday Blues - What is that about? Sad girl thoughts...

  4. Oct 23

    Nicole Kidman - How to be playful, witty & sexy like Adela?

    Episode 58 EPISODE DESCRIPTION In this episode, I talk about Adela’s song Nicole Kidman and why I love its playful energy, cheeky lyrics, and unapologetic confidence. As I approach 37, I reflect on getting older, embracing my femininity, and realizing that my self-worth cannot depend on other people’s validation. My confidence comes from everything I’ve survived, the joy I’ve managed to preserve, and the knowledge that I can handle whatever life throws at me. I also open up about body shaming, being underestimated because of my playful personality and colorful style, and why I refuse to choose between being fun, feminine, intelligent, and competent. I share my thoughts on dating, emotional boundaries, and why I prefer slow-burn connections built on friendship, trust, and genuine chemistry. Ultimately, I believe we should surround ourselves with people who celebrate our individuality rather than try to dim our light. My message is simple: getting older doesn't mean growing boring, and being playful doesn't mean you're not smart. Life is too short to spend it worrying about what other people think. Embrace who you are, protect your joy, find your hype song, and remember that the world is your buffet. Being playful is smart, sexy, and a beautiful way to celebrate being alive. Substack article: https://lenarexhepi.substack.com/p/that-nicole-kidman-song-by-adela?r=98b5qj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

    Nicole Kidman - How to be playful, witty & sexy like Adela?

  5. Oct 20

    Kill the nice girl! - Good girls live in hell...

    Episode 57 EPISODE DESCRIPTION - KILL THE NICE GIRL Good girls live in hell. And I’m done pretending otherwise. Kill the Nice Girl is my wake-up call for every recovering people pleaser who’s tired of shrinking, smiling through discomfort, and carrying everyone else’s emotional baggage. In this episode, I get brutally honest about the cost of being “the good girl” and how silence, overgiving, and constantly prioritizing other people can slowly turn into resentment, burnout, and even illness. As an oldest daughter, a Kosovo Albanian refugee who grew up in Denmark, and a woman navigating work, friendships, and relationships, I know how deeply the need to be good, agreeable, and understanding can become ingrained in us. I explore how this conditioning starts early and follows us into every corner of our lives from mothering men and overexplaining ourselves to tolerating mind games, suppressing our anger, and waiting for people to meet us halfway. I talk about why communication is sexy, why suppressing emotions comes at a cost, and why conflict isn’t necessarily the enemy of intimacy. Sometimes, the conversations we avoid are precisely the ones we need to have. I unpack the difference between kindness as a genuine gift and kindness as an obligation and why I’m no longer interested in performing warmth for people who mistake my understanding for permission to take me for granted. This episode is for anyone who has ever been the understanding one, the bigger person, the emotional caretaker, or the woman who can always see everyone else’s side but struggles to make others see hers. If you’ve swallowed your anger to keep the peace, ignored your own needs to avoid disappointing someone, or stayed too long hoping someone would finally recognize your worth, this conversation is for you. With vulnerability, fire, humor, and a little astrology-infused insight, I explore what it means to stop betraying yourself for other people’s comfort. Because being a good person shouldn’t mean abandoning yourself. And being kind shouldn’t require you to suffer in silence. It’s time to grieve the girl who believed she had to earn love by being easy to love. To set boundaries without writing a dissertation to justify them. To speak honestly, tolerate discomfort, and stop confusing self-abandonment with compassion. Kill the Nice Girl. Keep your kindness. Lose the self-betrayal. But Where Are You Really From? podcast with Lena Rexhepi. Substack article: https://lenarexhepi.substack.com/p/kill-the-nice-girl?r=98b5qj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

    Kill the nice girl! - Good girls live in hell...

  6. Oct 18

    Dramatic is what boring people call passionate people - So easy to insult others isn´t it?..

    Episode 56 in English Being Dramatic or Simply Passionate? Why Being Misunderstood Can Be a Gift Being called “dramatic” is often just a lazy way of dismissing someone who feels deeply, lives intentionally, and refuses to shrink. In this raw, personal mini-episode, I explore the difference between drama and passion, and why being misunderstood can be a sign that I need different people around me. I open up about a lifetime of being labeled too much too bubbly, too sensitive, too intense, too honest while explaining why I see myself as anything but chaotic. Instead, I make the case that real strength lies in self-control, discernment, and protecting my peace, even when others misunderstand my energy. In this episode, I explore: Why being dramatic and being passionate are not the same thingDramatic people do not live peaceful lives.Why my body can sometimes recognize unhealthy dynamics before my mind catches up The difference between being a victim and having been victimized Why small gestures, good manners, and reciprocity reveal so much about a person's character Drawing on my experiences of war, childhood responsibility, and years of being the “strong one,” I reflect on my need for calm, authenticity, and relationships with substance. From fake people and inconsiderate friends to the love and friendships I truly want, this episode becomes a personal reflection on deciding who deserves access to my energy. If you've ever felt misunderstood, mislabeled, or exhausted by people who confuse depth with drama, this episode will hit home. It's a reminder to trust yourself, be discerning about who you let into your life, and stop explaining your existence to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. Perfect for anyone seeking greater self-respect, stronger boundaries, and a tribe that truly gets them. To be seen and considered is to be truly loved 3

    Dramatic is what boring people call passionate people - So easy to insult others isn´t it?..

  7. Oct 13

    Na duhet me mbrojt historinë Shqiptare e jo të hujt. Keq e mirë. traditat tona duhet mi mbrojt veq na, Shqiptart!.

    Episoda 55 n´Shqip 3 Në këtë episod të shkurtë, foli për jetën teme të ngarkume dhe për librin Kanuni i Lekë Dukagjinit, i cili më ka prekë shumë. Edhe qysh nderkomtart po e kallxojn historin ton dhe po e ndryshojn narrativën per neve. Kjo duhet mu ndal. Historia jon asht narrativa jon. Më ka ba me mendu edhe ma thellë për historinë tonë, identitetin shqiptar dhe randësinë që me e tregu vetë historinë tonë, pa ia lanë të tjerëve me folë në vendin tonë. Foli për përvojat tona si Shqiptarë në Kosovë, Shqipni e diasporë, dhe për ndikimin që të tjerët kanë pasë në mënyrën se si e shohim veten dhe kulturën tonë. Ndalem edhe te gratë shqiptare, patriarkati dhe shpresa teme për një të ardhme ku gratë tona kanë ma shumë liri, dinjitet e mundësi me jetu të lumtuna. Për mu, historia dhe traditat tona janë pjesë e identitetit tonë. Duhet me i njoftë, me i ruejtë e me i mbrojtë vetë na, shqiptarët. Sepse, nëse nuk e tregojmë vetë rrëfimin tonë, gjithmonë ka me pasë dikush tjetër që ka me e tregu për ne. Duhet my kon krenar me veten, keq e mire. Shqiptar jena.

    Na duhet me mbrojt historinë Shqiptare e jo të hujt. Keq e mirë. traditat tona duhet mi mbrojt veq na, Shqiptart!.

  8. Oct 12

    The Lindsay Clancy Trial - A woman´s intuition is not to be messed with

    Episode 54 The Lindsay Clancy Trial: A Woman’s Intuition Is Not to Be Messed With In this episode, Marina and I unpack the Lindsay Clancy case and the questions that have led people around the world to ask: what really happened? What begins as a reunion between two old friends becomes an emotional conversation about the trial, the timeline, and the details that continue to trouble us. Marina and I first met while taking acting classes in London. Now, reconnecting from different countries, we revisit this deeply disturbing case and explore why it has resonated so strongly with so many people. We discuss the timeline, the police response, the prosecution’s case, and the questions surrounding the evidence. We also examine how Patrick Clancy’s public statements and image have shaped the wider conversation, alongside questions about the house, the GoFundMe campaign, and the family’s public portrayal. For us, this conversation goes beyond one case. It touches on justice, intuition, media narratives, and what happens when people feel their questions are being dismissed or their voices go unheard. We share our personal reactions, challenge assumptions, and reflect on the importance of distinguishing what we know from what we still don’t understand. Join Marina and Lena for an honest, emotional conversation about true crime, women’s intuition, and the stories we are told and the questions we believe are still worth asking.

    The Lindsay Clancy Trial - A woman´s intuition is not to be messed with
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About

But Where Are You Really From? is a podcast for those who feel like they don’t fully belong anywhere. For many that question is a reminder of being seen as different. Hosted by Lena, the podcast explores identity, belonging, culture, love and so much more. Real unfiltered talk is the goal. So the listener feels like they are a part of an intimate conversation. Together with friends and guests, Lena shares honest reflections through talks that balance laughter, failure, success, love, warmth, and wisdom in 3 languages (English, Danish and Albanian) More at: www.lenarexhepi.com /ig: lenarex

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