But where are you really from?

Lena Rexhepi
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But Where Are You Really From? is a podcast for those who feel like they don’t fully belong anywhere. For many that question is a reminder of being seen as different. Hosted by Lena, the podcast explores identity, belonging, and culture, while also diving into the realities of navigating life as a woman in the corporate world and the pressure to prove your worth. Together with friends and guests, Lena shares honest reflections through talks that balance laughter, failure, success, love, warmth, and wisdom in 3 languages (English, Danish and Albanian) More at: www.lenarexhepi.com /ig: lenarex

  1. 13h ago

    Is it ethical to have children in this world? Using the Passengers movie from 2016 as an ethical question

    Episode 40 In this episode, I reflect on whether it’s ethical to bring children into the world. Growing up as a refugee in a single-parent household shaped the way I see parenthood. I witnessed firsthand how difficult it can be to raise children without financial stability, emotional support, or a wider community to rely on. For me, becoming a parent is inseparable from having a loving, dependable partner and creating a safe and stable home. I question the pressure many of us feel to have children, and whether we truly understand the lifelong responsibility that comes with bringing another human being into the world. Using Passengers (2016) as an ethical metaphor, I ask: is it fair to bring someone into a world filled with pain, inequality, uncertainty, and suffering when they never had a say in being here? And yet, this isn’t an episode about not loving children. I do. I believe I could be a loving and caring mother—but only if I can give a child the security, support, stability, and love every child deserves. Because perhaps the question isn’t simply, “Do you want children?” Maybe it’s: “Can you give a child the life they deserve?”

    Is it ethical to have children in this world? Using the Passengers movie from 2016 as an ethical question

  2. 4d ago

    We´ll Always Have New York - A China Town love story and a 15 year old friendship

    Episode 39 Some love stories don’t end when the relationship ends, they keep echoing across years, cities, and versions of yourself. I with my longtime friend Steffie unpack the unforgettable New York romance that started on a cheap Chinatown bus, turned into a whirlwind of cab rides, late-night texting, and secret-door dates, and still shapes how they think about love today. What begins as a funny travel memory turns into a deeply personal conversation about attraction, timing, and the kind of connection you only recognize in hindsight. I revisit the guy who changed my idea of courtship forever, while Steff, the friend who witnessed it all from day one, adds the outside perspective that makes the story hit even harder. You’ll hear about: The chaotic $100 Chinatown bus trip from New York to Washington, Buffalo, Philadelphia, and Niagara FallsThe unexpected lobby phone call that brought the “right” guys down from the busThe instant chemistry, banter, and age-gap tension that made everything feel like a movieWhy the romance felt so magical in New York, and why it became painful laterThe hard-earned lesson about not living in fantasy, not overcorrecting in dating, and not judging your younger self too harshlyI also reflect on how this story inspired my writing, including my upcoming New York love story, We’ll Always Have New York. Steff brings the grounded, supportive perspective of a true friend who saw the connection unfold in real time and still believes in what it meant. If you love romantic real-life stories, “how did this even happen?” moments, or honest reflections on love after heartbreak, this episode will pull you in fast. It’s warm, funny, messy, and painfully relatable, the kind of conversation that reminds you why some memories never really leave you.

    We´ll Always Have New York - A China Town love story and a 15 year old friendship

  3. 6d ago

    Gratitude - Acknowledging the people who show up for you

    Episode 38 This episode is a heartfelt conversation about gratitude, kindness, and the importance of noticing the small good things in life. Malsora shares how becoming a mother made her more aware of everyday blessings, supportive parents, loving family, helpful colleagues, and a caring partner. The discussion highlights that real love often shows up in small actions, like helping with the kids, checking in on friends, or offering encouraging words. The episode also touches on luck, emotional support, and how gratitude can shift your mood and help you focus on what’s going right, even on difficult days. In the end, the message is simple: if you reflect on the little good moments each day, you’ll start to see how much you already have.

    Gratitude - Acknowledging the people who show up for you

  4. Aug 23

    Being Albanian-Greek in London - Anita and Lena bond over their Albanian upbringing in the Diaspora

    Episode 37 Anita joins Lena Rexhepi for an honest conversation about growing up Albanian in Greece and the feeling of being caught between cultures Albanian in Greece, yet seen as Greek when returning to Albania. She opens up about the fear, isolation, bullying, and pressure she experienced as a child, including the difficulty of speaking openly about her background. Together, Anita and Lena explore the lasting impact of migration, stereotypes, and rejection, both from wider society and from within your own community. They also talk candidly about cultural expectations placed on women, marriage, family, success, and the ways we can learn to normalize suffering and stay silent about painful experiences. For Anita, moving to London became a turning point. It gave her the space to explore her identity more freely, let go of some of the shame she had carried, and build a deeper relationship with her parents. The episode ends with a powerful message for anyone who has ever felt caught between cultures: start by belonging to yourself, and give your fears a voice.

    Being Albanian-Greek in London - Anita and Lena bond over their Albanian upbringing in the Diaspora

  5. Aug 22

    BETRAYAL - Trust and Love get broken by accumulated imbalance. My love is big and real bus so is my pattern recognition..

    Episode 36BETRAYAL Trust, Love & the Cost of Overgiving What happens when you love people wholeheartedly, show up for them again and again, and eventually realize the relationship has become deeply one-sided? In this episode, I unpack betrayal, loyalty, overgiving, and the painful realization that love alone isn't always enough to sustain a relationship. I talk about why I meet people with “innocent until proven guilty” rather than suspicion, even after being betrayed, and why I refuse to let disappointment turn me into someone who lives with her armor permanently on. I reflect on the patterns I've experienced across friendships, family, romantic relationships, and work: giving too much, asking for too little, and then experiencing a delayed realization of just how deeply I've been hurt. Because sometimes I'm so used to saying “I'm fine, I'll take care of myself” that I don't immediately recognize when I am the one who needed care. I've learned that I can love hard without loving blindly. “My love is big and real, but so is my pattern recognition.” And when trust, loyalty, honesty, and reciprocity repeatedly disappear, eventually something in me breaks. I would rather hear the hurtful truth than live in a pleasant lie for ten years. I would rather walk away than keep performing a relationship that no longer feels genuine. And sometimes, choosing yourself means making a decision that feels absolutely awful. Because you can make the right decision and still feel s****y about it. This is an episode about betrayal, boundaries, discernment, and learning that the love you give to others cannot come at the expense of the love and respect you owe yourself.

    BETRAYAL - Trust and Love get broken by accumulated imbalance. My love is big and real bus so is my pattern recognition..

  6. Aug 18

    Being Albanian-German. - How Kaltrinë from Germany and Lena from Denmark met and bonded over their Albanian roots

    Episode 35 A little conversation about Kaltrinë from Germany and Lena from Denmark and how they met in banking and bonded over their Albanian roots. What does it take to build a life, a career, and a company across borders and still stay authentic? Kaltrinë and Lena unpack the realities of growing up as a Kosovo refugee in Germany, navigating identity between cultures, and turning years of experience into a business of her own. Kaltrinë shares how language, family, and environment shape identity, why some people feel more German in Kosovo and more Albanian in Germany, and how a strong sense of belonging can come from both heritage and lived experience. The conversation also gets personal as Lena and Kaltrinrë revisit how they met in Copenhagen, the work that brought them together, and why that connection still matters a decade later.You’ll discover: Why keeping Albanian language alive can be a lifeline for identityHow childhood environment changes the refugee experienceWhat it means to feel “German” in Kosovo and “Albanian” through language, music, and traditionWhy authenticity matters so much in sales, networking, and relationshipsWhat inspired Kaltrinë to leave stable employment and start her own companyThe hidden role luck, timing, and connections play in successKaltrinë also opens up about the pressure of balancing motherhood, travel, financial risk, and entrepreneurship, and why building something of your own can be both terrifying and deeply rewarding. Lena adds her own perspective on identity, naming, and belonging, making this a thoughtful conversation about ambition, roots, and the people who shape our path.Essential listening if you care about immigrant identity, women in business, career reinvention, or the quiet power of staying true to yourself while building a future from scratch.

    Being Albanian-German. - How Kaltrinë from Germany and Lena from Denmark met and bonded over their Albanian roots

  7. Aug 16

    The Eldest Daughter Syndrome - Nobody Comes to Save Her!

    Episode description In this episode I talk about being the eldest daughter and what the eldest daughter syndrome means. being parentified as the oldest daughtergrowing up as an immigrant/refugee daughterbecoming the caretaker for siblings and parentscarrying responsibility into school, work, and relationshipsstruggling with boundaries, people-pleasing, guilt, and resentmentlearning to ask for help and prioritize my own needs I reflect on how this dynamic affects love, family expectations, motherhood, and self-worth, and ends with a call to check on eldest daughters and give them unconditional love and support.

    The Eldest Daughter Syndrome - Nobody Comes to Save Her!

  8. Aug 12

    DARK HORSE - Just do it. Don´t overthink life, just live it.

    Episode number 33 There is NO PERFECT TIMING. LIFE IS CRINGY. SO WHAT??? REJECTION is part of life. Either you succeed or you fail. Either way, you are in motion.Overthinking is stealing your life, and this episode is the wake-up call you didn’t know you needed. I make the case for brutal simplicity: stop waiting for the perfect plan, stop auditioning for approval, and start doing the thing. Drawing from my own shift from fearless action to years of second-guessing, I break down why hesitation kills momentum, how rejection loses its power when you stop treating it like a verdict, and why life only changes when you leave your head and enter the world. I also get deeply personal about surviving refugee trauma, losing and rebuilding identity, and why struggle is not something to romanticize, but something that can still shape character. You'll hear why directness matters in relationships, why I refuse passive-aggressive games, and why I believe the right people will never be scared off by my honesty. I share raw, funny, and painfully relatable examples from dating, friendship, social media, and even an unforgettable date where the insults came back to bite the person who threw them. This episode is for anyone stuck in analysis paralysis, spiraling over texts, self-conscious about how they look, or waiting for the “right time” to begin. The message is simple but powerful: you don’t need certainty to move, and you may never get a perfect moment. If you need a push to post, text, apply, create, or speak up, this conversation is your sign to stop waiting and start living.

    DARK HORSE - Just do it. Don´t overthink life, just live it.
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About

But Where Are You Really From? is a podcast for those who feel like they don’t fully belong anywhere. For many that question is a reminder of being seen as different. Hosted by Lena, the podcast explores identity, belonging, and culture, while also diving into the realities of navigating life as a woman in the corporate world and the pressure to prove your worth. Together with friends and guests, Lena shares honest reflections through talks that balance laughter, failure, success, love, warmth, and wisdom in 3 languages (English, Danish and Albanian) More at: www.lenarexhepi.com /ig: lenarex

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