Cry Harder Podcast

Chris Black
  • 4.0 (1)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to Cry Harder, where we turn life’s absolute disasters into premium content. I’m Chris Black: husband, girl-dad to a chaotic 4-year-old, and your host for this sarcastic deep dive into the unhinged saga of my life. Expect unsolicited advice, questionable choices, and the kind of oversharing my therapist warned me about. Grab your tissues and let’s make it worse. New episodes every Saturday!

  1. 1d ago

    37. Stop Texting Your Family!

    Is there anything more exhausting than a family group text thread? Welcome back to the Cry Harder Podcast with Chris Black. This is episode 37 and we have a huge show for you today. First up, Chris goes on a tear about the true reality of the 24/7 family group chat—a chaotic digital prison built on "emotional hostage-taking" disguised as keeping in touch. Individually, your relatives are great. Inside a group text? It’s a full-time job. We break down the 3 main chat offenders: The Over-Documenter: The one who treats the chat like an unedited Truman Show or an involuntary Instagram feed, giving you a daily play-by-play of blurry coffee cups, half-eaten sandwiches, and traffic videos.The Novelist: The one who refuses to be concise, hitting you with walls of text that require a "Read More" button, usually packed with TMI medical details nobody asked for.The Ghost: The lurker who hasn’t typed a single word since 2022 but reads absolutely everything, sitting silently in the digital shadows judging the family lineage. Chris also exposes the toxic subtext of these threads, from passive-aggressive micro-aggressions to the "Response-Time Police" who track how long it takes you to reply to an air fryer picture vs. a baby photo. It’s not real connection—it’s performative digital emotional labor. Humans weren't designed to be in a lifelong committee meeting with everyone who shares their DNA. Delete the thread and cry harder about it. Plus, we have a fully packed lineup for the rest of the show. Stick around for Learn You Good, Tear Factor, a fresh Book Plug, our latest Movie Reviews, a complete Week in Review, and a look at what we're Looking Forward to next week. Let’s get into it!

  2. Sep 26

    36. Parents Are Drowning in School App Notifications!

    If I get one more notification from a school app today, I am throwing my phone directly into the sun. Welcome back to Cry Harder with Chris Black. This week, we are diving deep into the absolute psychological operation that is modern school communication. Why do parents need forty-seven different portals, passwords, and two-factor authentications just to find out if their kid needs sneakers on a Thursday?! We’re also breaking down the latest internet rants (including why gambling ads are destroying society), introducing our brand-new 5-Core Criteria movie review system, and taking a closer look at the Amazon original film "Under the Stars." All that, plus a quick science lesson on El Niño, an update on Chris’s anniversary disaster at Denny's, and more! Share your worst school app horror story with us! If you enjoyed the episode, make sure to follow the podcast, leave a 5-star review, and share this with another drowning parent. Follow the show on social media and check out our video version on YouTube! #ParentingRants #SchoolApps #Podcast #CryHarder #MovieReview #ElNino

  3. Sep 19

    35. At My Breaking Point with Insane Prices

    $250 car registration. $45 event parking. $28 for a single glass of airport prosecco. And $99 for a Yacht Rock concert featuring bands you’ve never even heard of?! What do all of these things have in common? Prices have officially gotten entirely out of hand, and I am at my absolute breaking point. Welcome back to the Cry Harder Podcast. Today, Chris Black is breaking down the sickening reality of what it costs just to step outside your front door in 2026. From California DMV registration scams to getting completely ripped off at a family circus, we are diving deep into why every single aspect of modern life feels like a calculated cash grab. Later in the show, we dive into some actual economic research to uncover the real reason central banks trap us with a mandatory 2% inflation target (and why they freak out over zero inflation). Plus, we head over to the Tear Factor segment to react to some absolutely unhinged Reddit rants about mint toothpaste monopolies and a major creep at the beach. Finally, we wrap things up in the Cry Harder Film School with a review of the bizarre new animated whodunit movie, The Sheep Detectives.

  4. Sep 12

    34. Why Your Local Cult Knocks On Your Door

    Chris Black is back for Episode 34, and he’s starting the show with a massive reality check for anyone still knocking on random doors in 2026. If the conversion rate for door-to-door proselytizing is practically zero percent, why do religious groups still do it? Chris breaks down the psychological "retention trap"—explaining how the inevitable rejection actually hardens a member's identity, feeds the "Us vs. Them" narrative, and binds them closer to the in-group.  Later in the show, we dig into a double dose of "Tear Factor" Reddit rants. Chris shares his take on people who sneak out of live events early to beat the traffic, before tackling the absolute worst: judgmental professionals who berate you for doing your best (looking at you, dental hygienists and HVAC techs).  Plus, Chris delivers a dramatic reading of the official Cry Harder Nation 10 Commandments, shares a chaotic week of bachelor living—including Buffalo Wild Wings, video games, and surviving a near-death experience on the highway—and reviews five massive movies:• The Death of Robin Hood (Beautifully shot dark drama, but can anyone understand Old English?)• Disclosure Day (Steven Spielberg's 2026 sci-fi thriller that didn't quite stick the landing)• Age of Disclosure (A highly repetitive but must-see 2025 documentary on UAPs)• Ride The Eagle (A decent, lighthearted look at a heavy subject)• Annie Hall (The 1977 classic that is surprisingly relevant)

  5. Sep 5

    33. The Death of Concert Etiquette

    We need to talk about the complete collapse of concert etiquette, starting with the guy who single-handedly tried to ruin Guns N' Roses at Snapdragon Stadium. Today, Chris rants about SeaWorld's "new" shark encounter, reads the forward to the Cry Harder Nation book, and hits the Reddit streets for Tear Factor to judge a questionable friend group dynamic and a devastating $1.5M inheritance blunder. Plus, a deep dive into Netflix's 'Roommates' and Amazon's 'Boardwalk Winter' (who microwaves bacon?!), freshman roommate stories, and a look ahead at 5 days of absolute Labor Day freedom. If you managed to survive today’s unhinged chaos, don’t worry—we’ll be right back here next Saturday to make things significantly worse.

  6. Sep 4

    32. I Had To Escape This Shady Gas Station...

    GRAB CHRIS'S BRAND-NEW BOOK: CRY HARDER NATION!Get your copy on Amazon right here: https://a.co/d/0g3dTCs6In this episode of the Cry Harder Podcast, Chris Black shares a chaotic, real-life scary gas station encounter where he had to make a quick escape, driving away with his gas tank wide open. If you love true podcast rants, crazy parking lot confrontations, and hilarious storytelling, this episode is for you.We also dive into the Tear Factor to review a viral Reddit rant about a McDonald's drive-thru Karen, followed by a "Learn You Good" deep dive into the Loch Ness Monster history, debunking the Nessie myths and explaining why a real-life Plesiosaur is biologically implausible. Plus, we have full movie reviews for Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie (and why movie theaters are a total rip-off) and the new 2026 Netflix musical comedy-drama Don’t Say Good Luck starring Sunny Sandler.Wrap it up with global news updates on the Nepal floods, a week in review featuring PF Chang's, and a breakdown of Chris's upcoming 5 days of freedom over Labor Day weekend. Should he see Guns N' Roses at the Rose Bowl or go to a Dodgers game?If you manage to survive today’s unhinged chaos, don’t worry—we’ll be right back here next Saturday to make things significantly worse.Timestamps:0:00 - Intro1:42 - Book Unboxing & Back Cover Dramatic Reading9:23 - Shady Gas Station Encounter & Escape20:25 - Tear Factor: McDonald's Drive-Thru Confrontation27:05 - Loch Ness Monster History & Nessie Myths Debunked35:25 - Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie Review (Theater Rip-Off)41:04 - Netflix Don’t Say Good Luck Movie Review44:31 - World News: Nepal Floods Update45:23 - My Week in Review (PF Changs & Pool Days)45:55 - Labor Day Weekend Plans: Guns N' Roses vs Dodgers Game48:25 - Outro

  7. Aug 22

    31. Online Food Orders Are NEVER On Time

    My book, Cry Harder Nation, is out now—buy it today! https://a.co/d/06vbTpnD Why is it that when you order food online for pickup, it’s NEVER ready when you get there? Chris Black is back for Episode 31 of the Cry Harder Podcast to tackle the great digital food ordering scam, why sandwich shops must always cut the hoagie in half, and the absolute chaos of crowded elevators. Plus, Chris dives into a packed lineup today: Tear Factor: Rating Reddit's finest complaints, from public sauna hookups to adult caretaking.Relationship Advice: The ultimate red flag when a partner tries to ban you from being the best man.Movie Reviews: Breakdowns of S4: The Bob Lazar Story and Peacock’s new rom-com You, Me & Tuscany.Life Updates: Navigating the complex logistics of Transitional Kindergarten and planning 5 days of absolute freedom for Labor Day. If you managed to survive today’s unhinged chaos, don’t worry—we’ll be right back here next Saturday to make things significantly worse.

  8. Aug 15

    30. Target Betrayals, Foil Boxing, and Why You Aren't Cool For Flipping Off the Camera

    Special guest Mike from Philly rejoins Chris Black to celebrate the big 30th episode of the Cry Harder Podcast! Grab a drink—Chris is pouring the Maker’s and Diet, while Mike keeps it crisp with a Dr. Pepper—and dive into a jam-packed episode full of massive life updates and elite-level hating. First, Chris drops a major announcement: his new book is officially coming out next week! Then, the guys dive straight into a heavy-hitting round of Rants of the Week and put them to the ultimate Tear Factor Scale test. Mike takes aim at the absolute lawlessness of store front double-parking, the bizarre societal pressure to "clean up for the cleaners," the sudden disappearance of the word "nothingburger," and the dangerous design flaws of aluminum foil boxes. Chris fires back with his own grievances, recounting a deeply chaotic checkout line betrayal at Target and explaining why flipping off the camera in 2026 needs to stop immediately (yes, he's looking at you, Disco Lines and Tinashe). Finally, the duo breaks down a Tear Factor museum-etiquette nightmare and steps into the relationship clinic to give some blunt advice to a listener wondering if she should break a 7-month no-contact rule after a terrible breakup.

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About

Welcome to Cry Harder, where we turn life’s absolute disasters into premium content. I’m Chris Black: husband, girl-dad to a chaotic 4-year-old, and your host for this sarcastic deep dive into the unhinged saga of my life. Expect unsolicited advice, questionable choices, and the kind of oversharing my therapist warned me about. Grab your tissues and let’s make it worse. New episodes every Saturday!

Information

  • Creator
    Chris Black
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    38
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chris Black
  • Show Website
    Cry Harder Podcast