Not in My Bucket Podcast

Sarah Bentz
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Self-Improvement

Balance and boundaries are hard to establish in all areas of our life. Sarah Bentz uses Buckets to help make sense of what a good boundary and no boundaries look like. If you are looking for ways to make better sense of your life and how to protect your Bucket by setting limits and boundaries, this Podcast may be what you are looking for.

Episodes

  1. 3d ago

    The Rescue Bucket

    In this episode, Sarah Bentz introduces the first individual bucket profile: The Rescue Bucket. Inspired by a vintage 1940s firehouse bucket from eBay, Sarah uses the imagery of first responders to examine our own tendencies to rush in and save others. While rescuing is vital in real emergencies, acting as a constant relationship rescuer often crosses the line from genuine help into unhealthy enabling. Sarah breaks down the exact moments where rescuers go wrong—such as stepping in for irresponsible people and working harder than the person they are trying to assist. Through relatable examples spanning parenting, workplace dynamics, and addiction, this episode challenges us to stop dipping into other people's buckets and to start letting them face the consequences that promote true personal growth.   What You Will Learn: Welcome back: Moving from general boundary overviews to specific bucket types. The 1940s Firehouse Bucket: The vintage inspiration behind the "Rescue Bucket." The Mountain Rescuer Analogy: Why true responders don't follow you home to check your equipment. Rescuer Trap #1: Stepping in for irresponsible people and cosigning their poor choices. The Parenting Pitfall: Why checking your child's school grading app constantly stunts their growth. Problem-solving vs. Problem-taking: How to offer systems without overtaking the responsibility. Unsolicited Advice & Interceding: Treating other people's emotional battles as your own rescue mission. Rescuer Trap #2: Working harder than the person you are helping. Defining the Line: Helping (doing what they cannot do) vs. Enabling (doing what they can do). Lessons from the Classroom: How 3-year-olds are capable of cleaning up after themselves. The Fear Trap: Why watching loved ones hit rock bottom in addiction leads to enabling. Workplace Rescuing: Why you are still at your desk at 5 PM while the people you "helped" went home. The Speeding Ticket Story: How setting clear driving rules ahead of time kept Sarah out of her son's bucket. Reclaiming the Galvanized Bucket: Shifting back to a standard bucket that doesn't expand for others. Shifting your language: Why choosing "I won't" is far more empowering than saying "I can't." Standout Quotes: "It's not the rescuer's job to finish out making sure this person does it right going forward." "When you dip into someone else's bucket—when you take what belongs to them and you put it in your bucket—they don't learn anything." "Helping is doing something for someone that they can't do. Enabling is doing something for someone that they can do." "Boundaries do help the irresponsible person. It doesn't hurt them... it sometimes forces them into consequences that belong to them." "Respect yourself by allowing others to keep what belongs to them." "When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated." — Brené Brown   Resources Mentioned: The Workshop Metaphor: The classic visual breakdown of standard galvanized buckets vs. specialty rescue buckets. Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz Email: notinmybucket@hopeandgrowthcenter.com The Bucket Handout: Download the visual worksheet to map out your own bucket list items. Website: www.hopeandgrowthcenter.com (Check out the "Not In My Bucket" tab for worksheets and tools) Not In My Bucket Podcast Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with the natural-born helpers and rescuers in your life! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

    24 min

  2. May 29

    The Bucket Not List Part 2

    In this episode, Sarah concludes her breakdown of the "Boundary Not List"—the top ten behaviors that signal your bucket is overflowing with things that don't belong to you. Following up on the first five signs discussed in Episode 02, Sarah unpacks five more patterns that drive us to overextend ourselves, ignore our own well-being, and sacrifice our peace to manage other people's expectations. From the exhausting reality of masking our pain with a happy face to the art of saying "no" without actually using the word, this episode offers practical strategies to reclaim your limits. Sarah challenges listeners to stop carrying around hypothetical reactions and remember a fundamental truth: protecting your bucket is your responsibility, because no one else will do it for you.   What You Will Learn: [00:00] Welcome back: Recapping the first five items from the Boundary Not List. [01:41] Sign #6: Putting on a happy face. The emotional exhaustion of masking your true feelings to hide a "hot mess" bucket. [03:31] Sign #7: Ignoring physical exhaustion. How people-pleasing physically manifests in your body as tension, headaches, and pain. [05:27] The 2-Minute Mindfulness Exercise: A simple body scan to identify where you are holding stress and tension. [06:18] Sign #8: Fearing you are bothering people. Why carrying hypothetical responses in your bucket stops you from asking for help. [08:31] Sign #9: Going beyond your limits. How saying yes to too many "little things" leaves zero space for the things that actually matter. [12:06] Sign #10: Saying yes out of fear of "No." Reclaiming your choices and understanding that someone else's reaction belongs to them, not you. [13:33] The Schedule Trick: Creative ways to deliver a boundary and decline requests politely without giving endless excuses. [18:31] The wrong reasons to say yes: Spotting the traps of guilt, impression-making, and fear. [21:56] The Toddler Metaphor: Why establishing boundaries protects you, even if others throw a tantrum. [23:46] Teaser for Episode 04: An introduction to "The Rescue Bucket" and basic boundary ideas. Standout Quotes: "When we mask so that other people don't know, then nobody knows that we're carrying around our dirty water." "Our bodies belong in our bucket. The exhaustion of putting everybody else's bodies in our bucket is why our bodies are physically exhausted." "If you ask for someone else's help and you fear we bother them, that is putting someone else's response in our bucket. That doesn't belong to us." "Protecting your bucket is your responsibility. Someone else is not going to protect it. They're going to ask all they want. Your no is what protects your bucket." "If you're doing it because you don't want to hurt somebody, you don't want them to get mad, or you're trying to impress somebody... it needs to be a no."   Let's Connect with Sarah Bentz Email: notinmybucket@hopeandgrowthcenter.com The Bucket Handout: Download the visual worksheet to map out your own bucket list items. Website: Hope & Growth Center Not In My Bucket Podcast Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs help protecting their bucket this week! Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

    24 min

  3. May 22

    The Bucket Not List Part 1

    In the second episode of the series, Sarah Bentz digs deeper into the invisible nature of boundaries and how we often don't realize they are broken until our lives feel like a "hot mess." Sarah explains that just as a piece of land needs a surveyor to mark its limits, we need to identify the specific behaviors that signal when our buckets are overflowing with things that don't belong to us.    This episode serves as a diagnostic guide to identifying the symptoms of poor boundaries. From sacrificing your own desires for others to the exhausting pursuit of perfection, Sarah provides a roadmap for listeners to begin cleaning out their buckets and reclaiming their personal space.    What You Will Learn:   [00:00] Welcome back: Continuing the journey toward a clean bucket.  [01:05] The Surveyor Metaphor: Why we need external markers to see our internal limits.  [01:40] Knowing yourself: Why you can't set a limit if you don't know who you are.  [02:15] Sign #1: Prioritizing others' desires while discounting your own.  [03:22] Sign #2: The "Outside the Bucket" trap—expecting others to read your mind and know your needs.  [04:45] Sign #3: Minimizing success—why you must acknowledge your own hard work.  [05:40] Sign #4: The weight of the burden—how overindulging, overspending, and overeating mask a messy bucket.  [06:55] Sign #5: The "Polished Bucket"—the pressure to look perfect when you feel overwhelmed inside.  [08:10] Homework: How to use the "Bucket Handout" to start your personal exploration.  [09:30] The critical question: Where did this start and how did it get in your bucket?  [10:45] A message of hope: It's never too late to turn the bucket over and start again.  Standout Quotes: "Until we actually see something, we don't know that it exists, and that's kind of what that bucket is."  "How can you set a limit with anyone if you don't even know what your own desires are?"  "We cover up that bucket because the bucket's a hot mess... and so we tend to overeat, overspend, and overindulge because we can't deal with the bucket."  "We shine that bucket up nice... so that nobody recognizes and sees what's inside."  "Every day you have to ask yourself: What belongs in my bucket? Does this belong to me or does it not?"    Resources Mentioned:   The Bucket Handout: Download the exploration worksheet to identify what's in your bucket.  Website: https://hopeandgrowthcenter.com/pages/not-in-my-bucket Let's Connect: Sarah Bentz Email:  notinmybucket@hopeandgrowthcenter.com Not In My Bucket Podcast   Be sure to like and subscribe and share this episode with those who might be carrying a heavy bucket!  Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

    12 min

  4. May 18

    Bucket Basics

    In this debut episode, we sit down with Sarah Bentz, a Licensed Professional Counselor and owner of the Hope & Growth Center, to explore a unique and powerful metaphor for mental health: the bucket. Sarah breaks down the complex world of boundaries by visualizing every person as a bucket, specially designed for what truly belongs to them. We dive into how life experiences, trauma, and even our desire to be helpful can lead to us carrying things in our buckets that don't belong to us. Sarah explains why "boundaries" shouldn't be a scary word and how understanding your personal limits is the first step toward protecting your peace and empowering your relationships.   What You Will Learn: [00:00] Intro to Sarah Bentz and the Hope & Growth Center. [01:11] Why Sarah uses the "bucket" metaphor to explain boundaries. [01:58] How trauma and external influences dump unwanted things in our buckets. [02:24] The trap of enabling: Why taking from others' buckets isn't always helpful. [03:36] What happens when your bucket is too full to fit what actually belongs to you. [05:58] The difference between stifling "walls" and breathable "moats". [07:11] How boundaries protect both you and your relationships. [07:55] Using the "House Metaphor" to visualize locks, doors, and peepholes. [09:55] The importance of "marking your land" through surveys and clear limits. [10:40] Knowing your limits: Why Sarah doesn't have important talks at 10 PM. [12:25] Teaser for Episode 02: Signs you have the wrong stuff in your bucket. Standout Quotes: "Your bucket, my bucket, is specially designed just for who we are so what belongs in it fits in perfectly."  "When we put other people's stress in our bucket, that's when we don't handle it very well."  "A boundary is always to protect. It isn't to hurt."  "We can't know our limits until we know ourselves."  "By respecting our own boundary, our own bucket, we respect other people's buckets."    Let's Connect: Sarah Bentz Email:  notinmybucket@hopeandgrowthcenter.com Website: Hope & Growth Center Not In My Bucket Podcast Be sure to like and subscribe so your boundaries can continue to protect and empower you!  Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by NEXT DAY PODCAST

    15 min

  5. Trailer

    Not in my Bucket Podcast Trailer

    Not in My Bucket is a practical, encouraging podcast I created to help you live with greater balance, purpose, and fulfillment. I'm Sarah Bentz, a licensed professional counselor, and I've seen how easily our "bucket" of time, emotions, and identity gets filled with things that don't belong— trauma, expectations, and other people's "stuff."   In each episode, I share simple truths and real stories to help you recognize what's yours, what isn't, and how to create healthy boundaries that protect and empower you.   Whether you feel overwhelmed or running on empty, these brief conversations are designed to meet you where you are—and help you move forward, keeping your bucket better balanced.   Let's Connect: Sarah Bentz Website: https://hopeandgrowthcenter.com/pages/not-in-my-bucket Email:  notinmybucket@hopeandgrowthcenter.com Not In My Bucket Podcast   Produced by NEXT DAY PODCAST

    1 min

Trailer

5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Balance and boundaries are hard to establish in all areas of our life. Sarah Bentz uses Buckets to help make sense of what a good boundary and no boundaries look like. If you are looking for ways to make better sense of your life and how to protect your Bucket by setting limits and boundaries, this Podcast may be what you are looking for.

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