no one's watching

Michael Quinn

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Who cares? No one's watching anyway.

3d ago

ep #5 Unicorn People & The Wheel

Episode 5 — No One's Watching Podcast Episode 5 of the No One's Watching Podcast. Still don't know what to title it. If you're watching this, you shouldn't be. This week: marathon training week 3 at 249 lbs, the 9K that actually felt good, and why zone 2 running is a travesty that works. Also broke down the diet — goal weight times ten, 160 grams of protein, eat whatever you want after that. Simple. Plus the only correct way to eat an Uncrustable involves a toaster and frozen peanut butter and if you disagree you're wrong. Then things got weird. Introduced the intelligence loop theory — cavemen and geniuses are the same person, just on opposite ends of a circle that connect. Met Chelsea in high school. She read the dictionary poolside. She was a menace. Then the unicorn people tier list. Amish people are D tier. Amish people in an airport are B tier. An Amish little person in Chicago O'Hare airport is S tier and I have never seen anything rarer in 29 years of life. If you think you can beat it let me know. Also: you can buy 51% of Detroit for $256 million. Elon could do that tonight. Pretty sure that means you own the city. Ended the episode with the No One's Watching Wheel — a random topic spinner I built with Claude. Spun it twice. Became a surfer dude cult leader and then a Russian spy blowing my cover as president for a day. Renamed the Gulf of America, made the Ravens and Orioles the national birds, put my face on Mount Rushmore, and gave the nuclear codes to Russia for safekeeping. Baltimore things. 📱 TikTok & Instagram: stopwatching.today 🎥 YouTube: stopwatching-today

42 min
May 29

Fat Boy Runners WYA

Episode 4 of the No One's Watching Podcast — the show you're not supposed to be watching. 90% of podcasts don't make it past episode 3. We're officially top 10% of all podcasts ever made. Look at us. This week: marathon training week 2 at 250 lbs, the ego death of running 13 minute miles when your military best was 7:15, and nicotine pouches slowly destroying my ability to cool down in the heat. Also: Yonkers by Tyler the Creator is the 2G1C of music videos. I said what I said. Plus Hantavious, the algorithm giving me 800 views one day and 7 the next, and why I'm never doing a half marathon because what's the point of finishing halfway. If you're a big body runner — 220 lbs and up — I need your tips. Hydration, fueling, cooling down, stretching, anything. Drop it in the comments. 📱 TikTok & Instagram: stopwatching.today 🎥 YouTube: stopwatching-today

32 min
May 25

Fat Detective and Wet Sugar Bread

I signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon for my 30th birthday. I weigh 250 lbs. I have 7 months. There's also a Five Guys hot dog that only appears on the menu if you're over 300 pounds. Welcome to No One's Watching — honey buns, running shoes, and the DoorDash investigation of the century. Everything at stopwatching.today | YouTube: stopwatching-today

42 min
May 21

Ep #2 - Not the Alfredo!

You shouldn't be here. But since you are — Costco is a nightmare, someone at work said something insane in an elevator, and I destroyed my foot trying to run five miles in the wrong shoes. This episode is me talking at a camera in yellow hexagon sunglasses, rambling about the things that happened this week. Grocery store workers who mourn broken Alfredo sauce jars. The specific kind of rage that Costco foot traffic triggers. A coworker who thought a nearly empty elevator was the right place to make a nuts joke. And a running update that involves two toddlers, a locked-up foot, and a trip to a real running store where a woman watched me walk and immediately knew something was wrong. No guests. No agenda. No one is supposed to be watching this. But here we are. Topics this episode: - Local grocery store freaks vs. Costco shufflers - The Rouse Alfredo incident - Christopher Columbus and the search for batteries - Elevator humor that landed for absolutely no one - Going from 275 lbs to actually running again - Why too much arch support is apparently a thing - New shoes. Haven't run in them yet. It rained. Find everything at stopwatching.today — or don't. Up to you.

29 min
May 19

Swamp Toad told me this was a bad idea

The conversation begins with the host discussing the purpose of starting a podcast and the intention behind it. The focus is on using the podcast as a creative outlet and exploring new platforms for content creation. The conversation methodically covers the website development process and the use of AI in website creation. It provides insights into the process of building a website and the integration of AI technology for specific functionalities. Takeaways Podcast as a Creative OutletExploring New Platforms Website development processUse of AI in website creation Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Purpose31:19 Website Development Process53:31 Use of AI in Website Creation

38 min

5 Episodes

Who cares? No one's watching anyway.

Creator

Michael Quinn
Years Active

2K
Episodes

5
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© 2026 Michael Quinn