School Decisions with Rishanka Jones

Rishanka Jones
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Choosing a school, navigating special education, deciding when to start kindergarten. These are some of the highest-stakes decisions parents make, and most of us make them with bad information and not enough time. This playlist collects every conversation I've had on those decisions. Public vs private schools and what the data actually shows. Montessori vs traditional preschool. Whether to hold your child back before kindergarten. IEPs, 504 plans, and how to get the support your child is entitled to. Homeschooling legally. What really matters for college admissions. Each one is built around a single question, with educators, school psychologists, special education advocates, and parents who've already been through it. New videos added every week.

  1. 13h ago

    Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? What the Research Actually Says

    Your child has a summer birthday. They'll be one of the youngest in the class. And someone has suggested you wait a year. It's called redshirting, and it feels like everyone is doing it. They aren't. In March 2026, researchers looked at data from more than three million kindergartners and found about five percent of children delay entry. That's roughly the same rate as the 1990s. They also followed one group of children from kindergarten to third grade to see whether waiting actually worked. It did. Children who started a year later scored higher in reading and math at entry, by a margin worth roughly 20 to 30 percent of a school year of learning. By third grade, that gap was gone. In this video I go through what the research found, why the advantage disappears, the finding about who actually redshirts that reframed the whole question for me, and how to think about your own child. CHAPTERS 00:00 Five percent, not everyone 01:00 Does it work? Yes, then no 02:15 The finding that should make you pause 03:30 The costs nobody puts in the column 04:30 When it actually makes sense 05:45 A better question than "is my child ready" 06:45 What to take away THE HONEST TEST Ask yourself which sentence is true: "I'm worried my child can't cope with a kindergarten classroom." Or: "I want my child to be near the top rather than near the bottom." Both are real reasons. Only one is supported by the evidence. SOURCES NWEA, March 2026. Analysis of MAP Growth K-2 data from more than 3 million kindergartners, fall 2017 to 2025, following the 2021-22 cohort through third grade. NWEA notes their sample comes from schools nationwide but may not be nationally representative. Bassok and Reardon, Educational Evaluation and Policy Analysis. Two nationally representative datasets on the prevalence and patterns of academic redshirting. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=9ixCz0O1qiJtLWp_ Montessori vs Traditional Preschool?: https://youtu.be/6GyIWp1pXas?si=OB2inzBXwk1Uh3vx I'm a podcast host, not an educator or a clinician. This is general information to help you ask better questions, not advice about your specific child. Decisions about school entry are best made with your child's preschool teacher and your school. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #kindergarten #redshirting #schoolreadiness #parenting #kindergartenreadiness #summerbirthday #education #preschool #parentingadvice #schoolchoice

    Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? What the Research Actually Says

  2. Sep 28

    Private School Applications: What You're Actually Up Against.

    Families pay admissions consultants thousands of dollars to get through this process. Most of what they're buying isn't secret. It just isn't explained to anyone who doesn't pay for it. Start with the part nobody tells you: when a school says it has thirty places in a grade, that is not thirty places available to you. Some are already committed to siblings of current families, to children of faculty and staff, and to legacy families. At the most competitive schools, a consultant describing that market put it plainly: a thousand applicants for fifty seats, many of which are already taken. So the ratio you calculate from the applicant number is not the ratio you're facing. This video covers how the seats actually get allocated, the one concept that explains the entire process and almost nobody names for parents, what a waitlist really means and what schools genuinely cannot tell you about it, who is actually in the room when your child's file is discussed, and the one question almost no parent asks after a rejection. CHAPTERS 00:00 The seats are not what you think 02:15 Yield: the word that explains everything 03:45 The waitlist, honestly 05:15 The money question nobody asks 06:15 Who is actually in the room 07:15 The question almost nobody asks after a no 08:15 What to do with all of this THE THREE QUESTIONS WORTH ASKING "How many places do you actually expect at this entry point, after siblings and faculty children?" "Is your admission need-blind or need-aware? And does that change for waitlist decisions?" And if your child is declined: "I'm not appealing, I'm trying to understand. What was the deciding factor?" All three are answerable. Almost nobody asks any of them. ON WAITLISTS A waitlist is not a ranked list. There is no number. Schools genuinely cannot tell you where your child sits, because when a place opens they look for who fits what the class now needs. A director of admissions and financial aid at one of the most selective schools in the country has described waitlists as students the school really thought would make a great impact, and said that with unlimited spaces they would have taken them immediately. That's also why strong applicants get waitlisted. Schools don't know their yield when they build the class in February, so they hold a list as insurance. It isn't a verdict on your child. RELATED Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched: https://youtu.be/98GON5zaEqs?si=MiOjl3irxdGK_P8D IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=dqYdY323-gLgzRQT I'm not an admissions consultant. This is general information drawn from what admissions directors and educational consultants say publicly about how the process works. Every school is different, so verify specifics with the schools on your list. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #privateschool #privateschooladmissions #schooladmissions #waitlist #parenting #independentschools #schoolchoice #admissions #privateschoolapplication #parentingtips

    Private School Applications: What You're Actually Up Against.

  3. Sep 21

    My Kid Won't Go to School: What's Actually Happening?

    It's 7:40 in the morning. Your child is on the floor, or in bed, or locked in the bathroom saying their stomach hurts. Again. You have twenty minutes to decide whether to push, or let them stay home. Here's what nobody tells you about that decision. Both options feel wrong because both options are wrong on their own. Letting them stay home works today and makes tomorrow harder. Forcing them in without understanding why can make the whole thing worse. So this video isn't about which to pick. It's about what's actually driving it, because the research is clear that the reason determines the response, and most parents are working without it. CHAPTERS 00:00 The 7:40 decision 00:50 It's not truancy, and the difference matters 02:00 How common, and when it becomes a real problem 02:50 The four reasons, and why the reason decides everything 04:10 The trap, and it isn't your fault 05:10 The stomachaches are real 06:00 What actually works, honestly 07:10 What to do this week THE TERM TO ASK FOR There's a questionnaire clinicians use called the School Refusal Assessment Scale, Revised. Twenty-four questions, answered by both parent and child, and it identifies which of four functions is driving the behavior. Ask for it by name. That one request will change the quality of the conversation you have with a professional. WHEN IT'S A REAL PROBLEM, NOT A BAD WEEK Researchers use concrete thresholds: Missing at least 25% of school time for two weeks or more. Or severe difficulty attending for two weeks with real disruption to family life. Or ten or more days absent in any fifteen-week period. If you're at or near any of those, this isn't a phase to wait out. THE THING TO KNOW ABOUT PROGRESS A review of eight trials found that psychosocial interventions significantly improved attendance but did not significantly reduce anxiety during the assessment period. Attendance improves before feelings do. So if your child goes back to school and still says they hate it, that isn't failure. That's the normal shape of progress, and knowing it in advance will stop you pulling back too early. RELATED Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=IyJMLubHEDTcn1hE I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This is general information to help parents understand what they're dealing with and ask better questions. It is not a treatment plan or medical advice about your child. School refusal is frequently connected to anxiety or depression and is best addressed with a qualified mental health professional. If you are worried about your child's safety, contact your pediatrician or a mental health professional the same day. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #schoolrefusal #schoolanxiety #parenting #childanxiety #schoolavoidance #anxiousChild #parentingtips #mentalhealth #backtoschool #parentingadvice

    My Kid Won't Go to School: What's Actually Happening?

  4. Sep 14

    What to Actually Ask at Your Parent-Teacher Conference

    There's a systematic review of research on parent-teacher conferences, and it found something that isn't in any of the "20 questions to ask" articles. The conference is not a neutral meeting between two equals. The teacher is the person in charge, the person positioned as the expert, and the person who controls what gets discussed and for how long. Parents try to reframe the story being told, and in the words of that review, not always with success. So the problem isn't that parents don't know what to ask. It's that they walk into a meeting where someone else sets the agenda, and then get twelve minutes. Here's how to work with that instead of against it. In this video: the email to send three days beforehand and why it changes everything, the filter to apply to every question you're considering, the five questions worth your minutes, the one almost nobody asks that can get your child help this month, and what to do if the teacher raises a concern. CHAPTERS 00:00 The conference is not a meeting between equals 01:00 The three minutes that change everything 02:15 The filter for every question 02:50 The five questions worth asking 04:00 The question almost nobody asks 05:00 If something is wrong 05:45 The five minutes afterward 06:30 One thing for older kids 07:00 What to do this week THE EMAIL TO SEND THREE DAYS BEFORE "Hi, looking forward to Thursday. Before we meet, two things that might be useful. At home, they've been taking about two hours on twenty minutes of homework and getting upset about it. And they've mentioned a few times that they don't have anyone to sit with at lunch. I'd love to hear what you're seeing on both. Thank you." It puts your information into the meeting before the teacher builds the agenda, and it gives them time to notice rather than answer cold. THE QUESTION ALMOST NOBODY ASKS "Can my child get accommodations in class without having an IEP or a 504 plan?" Often, yes. A teacher can move a seat, give extra processing time, break instructions into steps, or check in before independent work. None of that requires paperwork. It requires someone asking. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM I'm a podcast host, not an educator. This is general information to help you use a short meeting well, not advice about your specific child or school. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #parentteacherconference #parenting #school #parentingtips #education #schoolyear #IEP #504plan #parentadvocacy #backtoschool

    What to Actually Ask at Your Parent-Teacher Conference

  5. Sep 7

    Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: What the Research Actually Shows

    A child who disrupts a classroom gets attention within a week. A child who is quietly drowning can go years before anyone asks a single question. Here are two numbers that show it. In community studies, where researchers screen whole populations rather than waiting for someone to raise a hand, boys outnumber girls with ADHD by roughly three to one. In clinics, among children actually referred for assessment, that ratio runs from about five to one up to sixteen to one. Same condition. The gap between those numbers isn't biology. It's who gets noticed. In this video I go through why the diagnostic criteria were built around boys, what a 2021 study found about where girls end up instead of an ADHD assessment, why the standard teacher rating scales miss quiet girls almost by design, and what to actually say when you request an evaluation. CHAPTERS 00:00 Two numbers that explain everything 00:45 A real disclaimer 01:15 The criteria were built around boys 02:30 Where girls end up instead 03:55 What it actually looks like 05:00 Why the standard screening misses her 05:55 The number that convinced me 06:30 What to actually do THE THING TO SAY DIFFERENTLY Describe effort, not outcomes. Don't say "she's doing fine in school." Say "she's doing fine, it takes her three hours a night, and she falls apart on Sundays." The second one is the information a clinician actually needs. SOURCES Klefsjö et al., 2021, Nordic Journal of Psychiatry, on the road to diagnosis in girls and boys with ADHD. Skoglund et al., 2024, Swedish population register study on sex differences in ADHD presentation and referral. Mowlem et al., on sex differences in referral thresholds and the role of disruptive behavior in diagnosis. Bassok, Hinshaw, and others on prevalence patterns in childhood and adulthood. DSM-IV to DSM-5 reclassification of ADHD from Disruptive Behavior Disorders to Neurodevelopmental Disorders, 2013. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=GM3NFuhYyRKtUOV_ I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This video is general information to help parents ask better questions. It is not a diagnostic tool and it is not medical advice about your child. ADHD is diagnosed by qualified professionals using multiple sources of information over time. If you're concerned, speak to your pediatrician, your child's school, or a licensed psychologist. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #ADHD #ADHDinGirls #ADHDawareness #parenting #neurodiversity #inattentiveADHD #girlswithADHD #ADHDdiagnosis #parentingdaughters #mentalhealth

    Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: What the Research Actually Shows

  6. Aug 31

    Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched

    Dates shown are for the 2027-28 admissions cycle. Always verify on each school's own site before you rely on them. I looked at two of the most prestigious private schools in this region. Sidwell Friends in DC and Gilman in Baltimore. They're an hour apart. Almost nothing about their application processes matched. Different deadlines. Different testing. One considers the ISEE. The other currently doesn't accept it at all. One tells you not to send teacher recommendation forms before November 1st. One has the application due in December but recommendations not until January, which catches people out every year. If you assume private school applications work the same way everywhere, that assumption is going to cost you money, or a Saturday, or a spot. This video walks through the whole process: which test your child actually needs by grade, why the teacher recommendation sinks more applications than anything else, how financial aid runs on its own separate track, and the questions to ask on a tour that most parents never think of. CHAPTERS 00:00 Two schools, an hour apart, nothing in common 01:00 They're building a class, not ranking your child 01:45 Which test your child needs, by grade 04:00 The recommendation problem, and a contradiction worth understanding 05:30 A real timeline, month by month 07:00 Financial aid, need-blind vs need-aware, and the real cost 08:30 The parent statement, the interview, and the child's visit 09:30 Four questions to ask on the tour 10:30 The mistakes, and two things to do today THE THING THAT SINKS THE MOST APPLICATIONS No school reviews your file until it's complete. Not mostly complete. Complete. If one teacher recommendation hasn't arrived, your application isn't late in a forgiving way. It isn't being read. And the recommendation is the one piece entirely outside your control. Tell the teacher in September, even if you won't send the form until November. Give them one email with every school, every deadline, and every link. Then two weeks before the deadline, confirm with the receiving school that it arrived. Not with the teacher. The school. TWO THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK 1. Email your child's teachers and give them a heads up that forms are coming. 2. Pull up the admissions page for every school on your list. Not a ranking site. The school's own page. The dates change annually and they do not match each other. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? LINK I'm not an admissions consultant. I'm a parent who read every one of these schools' own admissions pages and wrote down what I found. Requirements and dates change every year, so verify before you rely on anything here. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #privateschool #privateschooladmissions #ISEE #SSAT #schooladmissions #parenting #independentschools #financialaid #schoolchoice #admissions

    Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched

  7. Aug 26

    IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?

    Your child is struggling at school and someone told you to ask for an IEP. Or maybe a 504. Nobody explained the difference, including the school. Here's the simplest way to think about it: a 504 changes the environment. An IEP changes the instruction. If your child can learn the same way as everyone else but needs barriers removed, that's a 504. If they need to be taught differently, that's an IEP. But the qualification bars are different heights, and that trips a lot of families up. Your child can be denied an IEP and still qualify for a 504. ADHD can go either way, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. In this video I walk through which one your child actually qualifies for, how to start the evaluation process the right way, the two Maryland deadline clocks most parents never hear about, and what changed in federal special education oversight this summer. On that last part: your child's rights did not change. IDEA is still law. Section 504 is still law. But enforcement capacity did change, and that means your documentation matters more than it did a year ago. CHAPTERS 00:00 Your child is struggling and nobody explained the difference 01:18 IEP vs 504: the one distinction that matters 02:42 Who qualifies for which (and why ADHD goes both ways) 04:19 What schools don't usually volunteer about cost 06:21 How to request an evaluation, and the two clocks in Maryland 07:48 What changed in special education this summer 09:47 So which one do you ask for? THE EXACT WORDS TO USE "I am requesting a full evaluation to determine whether my child is eligible for special education services under IDEA. Please treat this as a formal written request." Send it by email. Keep the sent copy. Write down the date. A written request starts a legal clock. A hallway conversation starts nothing. MARYLAND TIMELINES 60 calendar days from your written consent to complete the evaluation. And a second clock most parents never hear about: 90 days from the written referral. The referral is the earlier date, so that time is already running. RELATED VIDEOS Public vs Private School: What Actually Matters When Choosing Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? I'm a podcast host, not a licensed educator. This is general information to help you ask better questions, not legal advice about your specific child. Timelines vary by state. If you're in a dispute with your district, talk to a special education attorney or advocate. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #IEP #504plan #specialeducation #ADHD #parenting #IDEA #schoolaccommodations #Maryland #IEPmeeting #parentadvocacy

    IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?

  8. Aug 25

    The Email Every Parent Should Send Their Kid's Teacher in September

    Your kid's teacher is looking at 26 faces. Here's how to make sure yours isn't the one they misread. Carol Muleta of The Parenting 411 has raised twin sons who are now 26, and she has a habit most parents never think of: she emailed every teacher at the start of the school year, before there was ever a problem. Not to complain. To introduce herself, say what her child was interested in, and quietly flag what he struggled with. Because a teacher who sees loose papers falling out of a notebook might read that as a kid who doesn't care. A teacher who got a two-line email in September reads it as a kid working on organization, with parents who are paying attention. We got into a lot more than that. What to do when your daughter is dealing with the kind of subtle meanness that never quite rises to something you can report. The exact three-step script Carol taught her sons for standing up for themselves. Why after-school meltdowns happen and what to change about the first twenty minutes at home. And the question I've been wrestling with myself: what do you do when your child is emotionally years ahead of her classmates, and does skipping a grade actually solve it? Carol's answer to that last one surprised me, because she tried it with her own son and it didn't work. CHAPTERS 00:00 The email most parents never send 01:14 Welcome, Carol 01:52 Where confidence actually gets built 03:32 Girls can be mean with words 04:32 The three-step script for standing up for yourself 06:00 When the bullying is an eye roll you can't report 07:49 The teenage years and fitting in 10:34 Screen time, empathy, and why community matters 12:56 How to make the teacher your partner in September 14:42 Why they hold it together at school and fall apart at home 15:37 Letting them take the armor off 17:33 The "I wonder" technique for getting them to open up 19:35 What a healthy boundary actually looks like 21:52 When your child is more mature than everyone in the room 25:11 Skip a grade, switch schools, or homeschool? 27:47 Connection before correction THREE THINGS TO TRY THIS WEEK Send the September email. Two lines. What your child loves, what they're working on.Ask what they need in the first twenty minutes after school. Snack, yard time, or straight into homework. Let them decide.Swap "how was your day" for "I wonder if you felt left out when they went off to play." It gives them a word for the feeling and lets them correct you. GUEST Carol Muleta, The Parenting 411 Website RELATED Public vs Private School: What Actually Matters When Choosing → Link Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? → Link New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making them right now. #parenting #schoolage #parentingtips #raisingkids #socialskills #backtoschool

    The Email Every Parent Should Send Their Kid's Teacher in September
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Choosing a school, navigating special education, deciding when to start kindergarten. These are some of the highest-stakes decisions parents make, and most of us make them with bad information and not enough time. This playlist collects every conversation I've had on those decisions. Public vs private schools and what the data actually shows. Montessori vs traditional preschool. Whether to hold your child back before kindergarten. IEPs, 504 plans, and how to get the support your child is entitled to. Homeschooling legally. What really matters for college admissions. Each one is built around a single question, with educators, school psychologists, special education advocates, and parents who've already been through it. New videos added every week.

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