Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying

Christina Holohan - Celebration of Life Event Planner, End-of-Life Doula, and Grief Coach

”Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted” breaks the silence around death and focuses on understanding grief, celebrating legacies, end-of-life planning, and providing families with a roadmap of support, practical resources, and emotional guidance when needed. More than a podcast - we’re your partner in navigating life’s most profound transitions with dignity, love, and purpose.

  1. 1d ago

    Ep 12 - Special Guest Episode Exit Strategies: Living Lessons from Dying People A Conversation with Dr. Cynthia X. Pan

    Ep 12 - Special Guest Episode Exit Strategies: Living Lessons from Dying People A Conversation with Dr. Cynthia X. Pan Hospice & Palliative Care Physician | Author | Medical Educator Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Episode Overview In this special guest episode, host Christina, Certified Death Doula, Thanatologist, and Celebration of Life Event Planner, pauses the "What Happens to the Body After Death?" series to welcome a truly extraordinary guest. Dr. Cynthia X. Pan is a hospice and palliative care physician with decades of experience at the bedside of the dying, a medical educator, and the author of Exit Strategies: Living Lessons from Dying People (Rice Water Publishing, November 2024). This conversation is warm, honest, and deeply human, covering humor, fear, cultural perspectives on dying, the power of advance care planning, and the vital role of death doulas in end-of-life care. If you have ever wondered how to face the end of life with courage, clarity, and even laughter, this episode is for you.   Episode Highlights 1:00 - Christina’s recorded introduction to Dr. Pan and her book, Exit Strategies 6:00 - Dr. Pan is introduced within the interview 6:32 - Laughter in the face of death: Dr. Pan shares how humor breaks tension in hospital rooms and creates real connection between families 8:00 - A moving story about a patient's favorite song, played in her final moments before being disconnected from life support 9:00 - The "pain macarena", a patient's husband's unforgettable story that captures the unexpected lightness that can exist even in the darkest moments 10:00 - The art of difficult conversations: how Dr. Pan guides overwhelmed families through end-of-life discussions with compassion 11:00 -   Holding compassion while maintaining healthy boundaries and a non-judgmental presence 12:00 -   Why being present at end-of-life is a privilege, and the importance of embracing these sacred moments 13:00 - A story about a colleague who avoided difficult family conversations, and how Dr. Pan learned to train herself to be prepared for anything 15:00 - The intersection of clinical care and grief: where are the biggest gaps between a patient's medical reality and a family's holistic needs? 15:30 - Chinese proverbs, scripture, and the wisdom traditions that help patients and families find peace and make meaning 16:00 - Fear, the meaning of life, and what quality of life truly looks like at the end 17:00 - The importance of time, for healing, for forgiving, and for saying what needs to be said 18:00 - Rewriting the end: how creative approaches like "live funerals" shift the narrative from fear to profound connection 19:00 - A physician in China who staged his own funeral while still alive, and what he discovered in the reflection that followed 20:00 - Dr. Pan references the film Rental Family, a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of end-of-life connection (see Resources below) 22:00 - The role of the death doula: bridging the gap between doulas and palliative care teams for seamless, collaborative patient support 23:00 - Dr. Pan's desire to learn more about death doulas and explore cross-cultural collaboration, including language barriers and cultural considerations 24:00 - The advance care planning crisis: most of Dr. Pan's patients arrive without any plan in place, and why this is a profound disservice to patients and families 27:00 - How death doulas spend time with patients and what that presence means at the end of life 29:00 - When it is too late: patients without advance care plans who can no longer speak for themselves 30:30 - The Caregiver's Compass: the most important guidance Dr. Pan offers families navigating the end-of-life journey 32:00 -   Fear lives in our heads, and how we hold ourselves back from living fully 33:00 -   Dr. Pan's ABCs of survival: A, accept what you cannot change, B, Breathe, C, connect; stay connected through community and collaboration 36:00 - Dr. Pan shares how The Art of Living helped her recover from COVID and reconnect with herself 37:00 -   Where to find Dr. Pan, her book, website, and social media 38:00 - Christina’s closing outro   About Dr. Cynthia X. Pan Dr. Cynthia X. Pan is a Harvard and Weill Cornell-trained hospice and palliative care physician with more than 30 years of experience caring for terminally ill patients. She is Chief of the Division of Geriatrics and Palliative Care Medicine and Professor of Clinical Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College, and the founding director of NewYork-Presbyterian Queens' palliative care program — which has helped thousands of seriously ill patients and their families. As a Chinese American physician born in Taiwan and raised in Latin America, Dr. Pan brings a rich multicultural perspective to end-of-life care. She holds fellowships in both the American College of Physicians (FACP) and the American Geriatrics Society (AGSF), sits on the Board of Directors of the Chinese American Medical Society, and is a passionate advocate for culturally humble, patient-centered care. Her personal experience with COVID-19 gave her a profound new understanding of serious illness from the patient's perspective — one that deeply informs her work and her writing.   Education & Training: BA — Harvard University MD — Stony Brook University School of Medicine Residency — University of Rochester Medical Center Geriatrics Fellowship — Harvard Medical School Division on Aging   Selected Awards & Recognition: Clinician of the Year — Mount Sinai School of Medicine, 2003 Patient-Centered Care Award, Physician Champion — NewYork-Presbyterian Queens, 2017 Exceptional Women in Medicine Award — Castle Connolly, 2019–2021 Top Doctor, Hospice & Palliative Medicine — Castle Connolly Regional, 2021 Top Doctor — New York Magazine, 2015 & 2021   About the Book Exit Strategies: Living Lessons from Dying People by Dr. Cynthia X. Pan Publisher: Rice Water Publishing Publication Date: November 13, 2024 Format & Pricing: Paperback $18.99 | eBook $9.99 | Hardcover $26.99 | Audiobook available Pages: 313   End of life still has life in it. Part practical guide, part heartwarming collection of stories, Exit Strategies equips readers with the lessons and tools to face end-of-life decisions with confidence, compassion, and even laughter. Dr. Pan covers everything from advance directives and difficult family conversations to live funerals, cultural customs, music, food, and what it means to leave a lasting legacy. Available from: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, Chapters, Indigo, BAM!, IndieBound   Resources Mentioned in This Episode Dr. Cynthia X. Pan Website: cynthiaxpanmd.com Instagram: @cxpan5 Facebook: cynthia.x.pan X (Twitter): @CXPan55 YouTube: @cynthiapan360 LinkedIn: cynthia-x-pan-539b5517 Doximity: Dr. Cynthia X. Pan   The Art of Living Dr. Pan referenced The Art of Living as a resource that supported her recovery and well-being during and after COVID. Founded by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, The Art of Living is a global organization offering evidence-based programs in meditation, breathwork, and wellness. Website: artofliving.org/us-en   Rental Family (Film) Dr. Pan referenced this film during our conversation about live funerals and the human need for connection at the end of life. A touching and thought-provoking watch for anyone exploring end-of-life themes.   Advance Care Planning Resources CaringInfo.org, caringinfo.org/planning/advance-directives/by-state/colorado — free Colorado-specific advance directive forms from the National Alliance for Care at Home ColoradoAdvanceDirective.com, Colorado-specific resources, Colorado professionals dedicated to improving advance care planning tools and processes, including the MOST form Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment — cdphe.colorado.gov/advance-care-planning — the state's official advance care planning resource Your Listener Challenge Dr. Pan's message is clear: these conversations cannot wait. This week, we invite you to sit quietly with one of the questions below and write your answer down. You do not need to share it with anyone. This is for you. What matters most to me at the end of my life? Who do I want by my side? What music would I want played to honor my life? Do I want my pets with me? What does a good death look like to me?   Start with just one. That is enough to begin. Questions to Ask Your Healthcare Provider Inspired by this conversation, here are some important questions to bring to your next medical appointment or family discussion: What does comfort-focused care look like for my specific situation? What hospice and palliative care options are available to me or my loved one? How can a death doula support my family alongside the medical team? Work With Christina Christina Holohan is a Certified Death Doula, Thanatologist, and Celebration of Life Event Planner serving the Denver metro area and beyond. Whether you are planning a meaningful farewell, navigating end-of-life decisions, or simply want guidance on how to approach these conversations, Christina is here to help. Website: celebrationoflife-colorado.com Phone: 720-792-7774 Email: information@celebrationoflife-colorado.com   Subscribe & Connect If this episode moved you, please take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every review helps this podcast reach more people who are ready to have these conversations. Find Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted on Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts.   SEO Keywords: Dr. Cynthia X. Pan, Exit Strategies book, hospice and palliative care, end-of-life conversations, death doula, advance care planning, live funerals, Art of Living, grief and dying podcast, life death grief unscripted, Colorado death doula, Celebration of L

  2. Jul 15

    Ep 11: What Happens to the Body After Death? Part 3: Water Cremation (Aquamation)

    Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Hosted by Christina Holohan, Certified Death Doula, Thanatologist, and Celebration of Life Event Planner | Celebration of Life, Colorado Episode Description Water plays a very different role in death care than fire does. In this episode, Christina moves the series from flame to water, exploring water cremation, also known as aquamation or alkaline hydrolysis. She walks through what the process involves, addresses the biggest misconception head-on (no, it is not “dumping remains down the drain”), and shares a firsthand account from her own tour of a Colorado water cremation facility. Along the way: what changes for the workers who no longer face flame cremation’s sharpest occupational hazards, what Colorado law says, what this process costs, and where faith communities currently stand on this still-emerging option. No pressure, no judgment, just the facts, gently delivered. In This Episode, You'll Learn What alkaline hydrolysis (aka aquamation or water cremation) is, and how the process works step by step Why this process is far from new, the chemistry behind it was patented in 1888 What container and urn options exist for water cremation remains, and why you may want a slightly larger urn than standard The biggest myth about water cremation, and why it does not hold up under scrutiny A public health benefit of this process that most people never think to ask about How water cremation changes the occupational risks faced by crematory staff, compared to flame cremation The environmental case for water cremation, and two Colorado providers putting it into practice Colorado's legal history with this process, and what it currently costs Six questions to ask any water cremation provider before you commit Where faith traditions currently stand on this still-evolving option Episode Highlights 0:00 Cold open — from fire to water, and why so few people have even heard of this option 1:05 The process, in plain terms: how alkaline hydrolysis works, and its surprising 1888 origin 5:15 What’s left behind, and what isn't: addressing the “down the drain” myth head-on 8:00 A public health benefit most people never think to ask about 9:00 What this means for the people who do this work: comparing occupational hazards for flame vs. water cremation staff 12:35 The environmental case, Christina's own tour of The Natural Funeral, and two Colorado providers doing this well 16:25 What you need to know in Colorado: legal history and cost 18:10 Six questions to ask any water cremation provider before you commit 19:30 A word on faith 20:40 Close, and what's coming next Resources & References Research referenced in this episode is paraphrased and cited below in APA 7 format. Direct quotations are minimal and clearly marked in the original source material. Cremation Association of North America. (n.d.). Alkaline hydrolysis. https://www.cremationassociation.org/alkalinehydrolysis.html Hansen, K. (2012). Choosing to be flushed away: A national background on alkaline hydrolysis and what Texas should know about regulating “liquid cremation.” Estate Planning and Community Property Law Journal, 5(1), 145–170. https://epj.us/volume-5 Lasnoski, K. J. (2016). Are cremation and alkaline hydrolysis morally distinct? National Catholic Bioethics Quarterly, 16(2), 233–242. Marsh, T. D., & Pyatt, Q. J. (2024). Maybe it's time to let the old ways die: New data on consumer preferences in death care. Wake Forest Law Review, 59(4), 909–940. https://www.wakeforestlawreview.com/2026/01/maybe-its-time-to-let-the-old-ways-die-new-data-on-consumer-preferences-in-death-care/ TalkDeath. (n.d.). Five things you didn't know about water cremation. https://www.talkdeath.com/five-things-you-didnt-know-about-water-cremation/ The Natural Funeral. (n.d.). Water cremation. https://www.thenaturalfuneral.com/water-cremation/ Be A Tree Cremation. (n.d.). Water cremation (alkaline hydrolysis) in Denver, Colorado. https://www.beatreecremation.com/water-cremation US Funerals Online. (2026). Water cremation (aquamation): The complete guide to alkaline hydrolysis. https://us-funerals.com/aquamation-or-resomation/ Colo. Rev. Stat. § 12-135-103 (2024). https://codes.findlaw.com/co/title-12-professions-and-occupations/co-rev-st-sect-12-135-103/ A note on citation accuracy: Colorado's cremation statute was renumbered in a 2024 recodification. It was previously cited as § 12-54-102 in older sources (including a 2012 law review referenced in earlier research for this episode); the current, correct citation is § 12-135-103. The substance of the law,  removing “direct exposure to intense heat” from the definition of cremation, is unchanged. Questions to Ask a Water Cremation Provider Straight from the episode — six questions worth asking before you commit to a provider: What type of system do you use, and what temperature and pressure does it run at? How long does the process take, from start to finish? Exactly what will I receive back, and in what container? Where does the resulting liquid go? Do you offer tours of your facility? Can I have a clear, itemized price list before I commit to anything? A good provider will welcome every one of these questions without hesitation. If you sense hesitation instead, that's useful information too. This Week's Listener Challenge If you have never investigated what happens to a body after death beyond “burial or cremation,” spend fifteen minutes this week learning about one option you have never heard of before. It does not have to be water cremation. Curiosity now means fewer surprises, and more genuine choice, later. Work With Christina Ready to plan ahead, or supporting someone who is? Christina offers death doula support, end-of-life planning, and Celebration of Life event design throughout Colorado. 🌸 Celebration of Life, Colorado 📍 Serving the Denver Metro Area & Colorado 🌐 celebrationoflife-colorado.com 📞 720-792-7774 📧 information@celebrationoflife-colorado.com Subscribe & Leave a Review If this episode helped you, or gave you something new to think about, subscribe to Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted wherever you listen to podcasts, and consider leaving a review. It helps this show reach more people who are looking for these conversations. This show is for you. Keywords water cremation, aquamation, alkaline hydrolysis, flameless cremation, resomation, green cremation, eco-friendly cremation, Colorado cremation law, cremation alternatives, natural death care, sustainable end of life, crematory worker safety, death doula Colorado, celebration of life Colorado, what happens to the body after death

  3. Jul 8

    Ep 10 - What Happens to the Body After Death? Part 2: Flame Cremation

    Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Hosted by Christina Holohan, Celebration of Life Event Planner, Certified Death Doula & Thanatologist Cremation is now the choice of roughly three out of four Colorado families, yet most of us know surprisingly little about what happens between the goodbye and the urn. In this episode, death doula and thanatologist Christina Holohan continues the What Happens to the Body After Death series with an honest, judgment-free walk through flame cremation: how the process works, what comes home to you, why the paperwork asks about pacemakers, the people who do this work behind the scenes, and the sweeping consumer protections reshaping Colorado's funeral industry right now. No pressure, no judgment, just honest, informed conversation so you can choose with confidence. In This Episode, You'll Learn: How flame cremation works, step by step, and what cremated remains truly are Colorado's 24-hour waiting period, and why embalming is never required for cremation The casket misconception that costs families thousands, and how rental caskets work Why the cremation form asks about pacemakers: the science of battery-powered devices and heat What the newest research from Japan reveals about implant safety in modern facilities The questions you're allowed to ask: witnessing, identification protocols, and who owns the crematory The physical and emotional realities of crematory work, and why choosing a reputable provider protects workers too The scandals that changed Colorado law, and the licensing and inspection system taking full effect January 1, 2027 What direct cremation and full-service cremation cost in the Denver metro area The honest environmental picture: real numbers, practical choices, and how fire compares to other methods Episode Highlights [0:00] Welcome & The Promise of This Episode [1:45] What Happens, Step by Step [5:00] The Question on the Form: Implanted Devices [8:00] What You're Allowed to Ask For [10:00] The People on the Other Side of the Chamber [13:00] Your Rights & What's Changing in Colorado [17:00] The Environmental Picture, Honestly Told [20:00] Listener Challenge & Closing Resources & References FTC Funeral Rule, Your Rights as a Consumer https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/funeral-industry-practices-rule Colorado Office of Funeral and Mortuary Science Services (licensing, inspections & complaints) https://dpo.colorado.gov/MortuaryScience National Collaborating Centre for Environmental Health. (2020). Crematoria emissions and air quality impacts. https://ncceh.ca/resources/evidence-reviews/crematoria-emissions-and-air-quality-impacts Gale, C. P., & Mulley, G. P. (2002). Pacemaker explosions in crematoria: Problems and possible solutions. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 95(7), 353–355. https://doi.org/10.1177/014107680209500708 Arimoto, T., Oginosawa, Y., Ebe, K., Takahashi, M., Watanabe, E., Abe, H., Takagi, M., & Tada, H. (2025). Explosion risk of cardiac implantable electronic devices during cremation: Experimental and survey findings from Japan. Journal of Arrhythmia, 41(5), e70211. https://doi.org/10.1002/joa3.70211 Woodthorpe, K., Olson, P., Robins, D., Robinson, G., McClymont, K., & Cox, S. (2026). Is human body disposal an environmental issue? Mortality. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1080/13576275.2026.2616027 Fredman, G., Blomberg, M., & Lei, U. (2020). Occupational skin cancer in a crematory operator. Acta Dermato-Venereologica, 100(13), adv00176. https://doi.org/10.2340/00015555-3533 Doughty, C. (2014). Smoke gets in your eyes: And other lessons from the crematory. W. W. Norton & Company. National Center for O*NET Development. (n.d.). 39-4012.00 — Crematory operators. O*NET OnLine. https://www.onetonline.org/link/summary/39-4012.00 PAHs stands for polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, the combustion byproducts mentioned in this episode. All findings referenced in this episode were paraphrased and summarized for the show. Resource: Questions to Ask a Cremation Provider From this episode, the questions any family can ask, before they ever need to: Do you own your own crematory, or do you work with a partner facility? Where will my person physically be? What is your identification process, from the moment you take someone into your care until the remains come back to the family? May our family witness the cremation if we choose to? Are your staff provisionally licensed, and are your crematory operators certified through CANA or ICCFA? How old is your cremation equipment, and what filtration does it use? What happens to medical implant metal after cremation, and where do the recycling proceeds go? If we want a viewing before the cremation, do you offer a rental casket? May I have your General Price List? (Every funeral provider must give you one, even over the phone.) A good provider will welcome every one of these questions. That's how you'll know. This Week's Listener Challenge This one has two parts. First: if you or someone you love has a pacemaker or any device with a battery inside, write it down where your important papers live, and make sure the person closest to you knows. It takes five minutes, and it protects people you will never meet. Second: contact one funeral home or cremation provider near you this week and ask for their General Price List. You don't need a reason, and you don't need to be planning anything. You are simply exercising a right that federal law gives you. And if there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on this podcast, please reach out. This show is for you. Work With Christina Are you ready to plan a celebration of life that truly honors your loved one's legacy, on your timeline, in your own way? 🌸 Celebration of Life, Colorado 📍 Serving the Denver metro area and beyond 🌐 celebrationoflife-colorado.com 📞 720-792-7774 📧 information@celebrationoflife-colorado.com Subscribe & Leave a Review If this episode helped you feel more informed and more prepared, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your words help other families find this space, and that means everything. Follow the show so you never miss an episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted. Keywords flame cremation, cremation process explained, what are cremated remains, cremation cost Denver, direct cremation Colorado, pacemaker and cremation, cremation container rights, rental casket, FTC Funeral Rule cremation, General Price List funeral home, Colorado funeral home licensing, Colorado funeral home scandals, Return to Nature funeral home, cremation environmental impact, mercury dental fillings cremation, witnessing a cremation, crematory operator, aquamation, death doula Colorado, end of life planning Denver, disposition methods, thanatology, grief podcast

  4. Jul 1

    Ep 9. What Happens to the Body After Death? Part 1: Traditional Burial & Embalming

    Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Hosted by Christina Holohan, Certified Death Doula & Thanatologist   Most of us think we already understand traditional burial and embalming. But when it’s time to make decisions for someone we love, the gaps in our knowledge can be costly, financially and emotionally. In this episode, death doula and thanatologist Christina Holohan opens a new series by walking through the oldest and most familiar disposition method: what embalming is, what Colorado law requires, what your rights are as a consumer, and why this remains a meaningful choice for many families. No pressure, no judgment, just honest, informed conversation so you can choose with confidence. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: What embalming is, how it works, and how long it preserves the body The history of embalming, from ancient Egypt to modern funeral practice What Colorado law requires within 24 hours of death, and when embalming is and isn’t legally required How to read a General Price List and the six FTC disclosures every funeral home must provide The line items that most often surprise families, and three blind spots to watch for before you sign anything Average traditional burial costs in the Denver metro area The difference between what a cemetery requires and what state law requires Why many families still choose this path, and why that’s a valid, meaningful choice The rise of restorative art and green embalming alternatives The environmental impact of traditional burial and why land scarcity matters Episode Highlights [0:00] Welcome & Series Introduction [3:15] What Embalming Is [10:40] What Colorado Law Says [16:20] Caskets, Vaults & Cost Reality [28:00] Why Some Families Still Choose This Path [33:10] Where the Practice Is Headed   Resources & References FTC Funeral Rule, Your Rights as a Consumer https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/funeral-industry-practices-rule   FTC Complying with the Funeral Rule (Plain Language Guide) https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/documents/plain-language/565a-complying-with-funeral-rule_2020_march_508.pdf   AgeWise Colorado, When Your Loved One Dies in Colorado https://agewisecolorado.org/blog/when-your-loved-one-dies-in-colorado/   Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, Death Certificates & Vital Records https://cdphe.colorado.gov/vital-records   Ajileye, A.B., Duere, P.O., & Esan, E.O. (2024). Human Embalming in the 21st Century. Journal of Experimental Research, Vol. 12, No. 3. All findings referenced in this episode were paraphrased and summarized for the show.   Resource: The FTC General Price List, 16 Items That Must Be Itemized The FTC Funeral Rule requires every funeral home to provide a General Price List itemizing prices for up to 16 specific goods and services:   Forwarding remains to another funeral home Receiving remains from another funeral home Direct cremation price ranges Immediate burial price ranges Basic services of the funeral director and staff Transfer of remains to the funeral home Embalming costs Other preparation of the body (cosmetics, dressing, washing) Use of facilities and staff for viewing or visitation Use of facilities and staff for a funeral ceremony Use of facilities and staff for a memorial service Use of equipment and staff for a graveside service Hearse rental Limousine rental Casket price range (lowest to highest) Outer burial container price range   Funeral homes cannot bundle these into packages without also offering itemized pricing, and they cannot charge for embalming without your explicit permission.   This Week’s Listener Challenge Call a funeral home near you and ask for their General Price List. They are required to provide it, even over the phone. See what you learn, and pay special attention to the Basic Services Fee. And if there’s a topic you’d love to hear covered on this podcast, please reach out. This show is for you. Work With Christina Are you ready to plan a celebration of life that truly honors your loved one’s legacy, on your timeline, in your own way?   🌸 Celebration of Life, Colorado 📍 Serving the Denver metro area and beyond 🌐 celebrationoflife-colorado.com 📞 720-792-7774 📧 information@celebrationoflife-colorado.com Subscribe & Leave a Review If this episode helped you feel more informed and more prepared, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your words help other families find this space, and that means everything. Follow the show so you never miss an episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted. Keywords what happens to the body after death, traditional burial, embalming process, is embalming required by law Colorado, Colorado funeral laws, FTC Funeral Rule, General Price List funeral home, funeral costs Denver, burial vault requirements, casket rights, green embalming, eco-friendly embalming, running out of burial land, death doula Colorado, end of life planning Denver, natural burial Colorado, disposition methods, death doula, thanatology, grief podcast

  5. Jun 24

    Ep. 08 - He/She Died. Now What? A Step-by-Step Guide to the First Hours, First Decisions, and What Can Wait

    Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Hosted by Christina Holohan, Certified Death Doula & Thanatologist   Someone you love just took their last breath, and somehow the world expects you to know what to do next. In this episode, death doula and thanatologist Christina Holohan sits with you in that hard, confusing space right after a loss and talks through it honestly. What needs to happen first. What can wait. And how to take care of yourself in the middle of all of it. This is not a checklist. This is a conversation, from someone who has walked alongside grieving families, to you.   In This Episode, You’ll Learn: What to do in the first hours after a death, and what you don’t have to do yet When to call 911 vs. going directly to a funeral home or cremation provider Why you need more death certificates than you think, and Colorado’s five-day registration rule Your burial options in Colorado, including green burial, water cremation, and home funerals Financial help when there are no funds, the Colorado Burial Assistance Program and who qualifies Resources for listeners outside Colorado, where to find state-by-state support Your rights under the FTC Funeral Rule, what funeral homes must tell you What to know about organ and body donation in those first hours What can genuinely wait, and permission to slow down How to take care of yourself when everything feels like too much Episode Highlights [2:00] The first hours, what you do and don’t have to do right away [6:00] The first few days, practical steps, death certificates, and Colorado’s five-day rule [10:00] Your burial options, funeral homes, cremation, green burial, and home funerals [13:00] What if there are no funds, the Colorado Burial Assistance Program [15:30] Your rights as a consumer, the FTC Funeral Rule [17:00] Organ and body donation, a deeply personal decision [18:30] What can wait, and protection from pressure [21:00] Taking care of you, a moment of compassion for the one in grief Resources & References AgeWise Colorado, When Your Loved One Dies in Colorado https://agewisecolorado.org/blog/when-your-loved-one-dies-in-colorado/   Covering Kids and Families, Little Known Medicaid Benefits: Burial Assistance Program https://ckf.cchn.org/blog/little-known-medicaid-benefits-burial-assistance-program/   Colorado PEAK, Apply for Burial Assistance Online https://coloradopeak.secure.force.com   Colorado State Anatomical Board, Body Donation for Medical Research https://www.cuanschutz.edu/offices/anatomical-board   FTC Funeral Rule, Your Rights as a Consumer https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/funeral-rule   Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, Death Certificates & Vital Records https://cdphe.colorado.gov/vital-records   USA.gov, Dealing with the Death of a Loved One (State-by-State Resources) https://www.usa.gov/death-loved-one This Week’s Listener Challenge If you are in those first days right now, your only challenge this week is to let one person help you. Just one. Text them something specific, a meal, a school pickup, a phone call you don’t want to make. Let someone show up for you. And if you have a topic you’d like to hear more about on this podcast, please reach out. This show is for you. Work With Christina Are you ready to plan a celebration of life that truly honors your loved one’s legacy, on your timeline, in your own way? 🌸 Celebration of Life, Colorado 📍 Serving the Denver metro area and beyond 🌐 celebrationoflife-colorado.com 📞 720-792-7774 📧 information@celebrationoflife-colorado.com Subscribe & Leave a Review   If this episode helped you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your words help other grieving families find this space, and that means everything. Follow the show so you never miss an episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted. Keywords what to do when someone dies, after a death, death doula, celebration of life, Colorado burial assistance, direct cremation Colorado, home funeral Colorado, FTC funeral rule, organ donation Colorado, grief support, end of life planning, thanatology, death certificates Colorado, what to do first after a death, grief podcast, Colorado death doula

  6. Jun 17

    Ep. 07 Giving Grief Somewhere to Go: The Healing Power of Rituals Beyond the Funeral

    Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted | Unfiltered Discussions on Living and Dying Hosted by Christina Holohan, Certified Death Doula & Thanatologist What happens when grief has nowhere to go? In this episode, death doula and thanatologist Christina explores the science and soul behind grief rituals, and why they are far more than a funeral tradition. Whether you’re navigating fresh loss, supporting a grieving loved one, or simply want to understand why rituals matter so deeply, this episode will change the way you think about honoring the people you’ve lost. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why grief rituals are a psychological necessity, not just a cultural tradition What COVID-19 research revealed about prolonged grief when ceremonies were taken away How alternative mourning rituals (candles, digital tributes, keepsakes) can genuinely ease grief symptoms The three types of therapeutic rituals used by grief counselors and therapists Simple, powerful micro-rituals you can start this week to honor your loved one The key differences between a traditional funeral and a celebration of life, and why it matters Why the meaning behind a ritual always matters more than the mechanics Episode Highlights [3:00], Pandemic grief research and what happened when families couldn’t gather [9:00], Alternative rituals: why intention heals more than tradition [15:00], How grief therapists use ritual in clinical settings (scoping review of 22 studies) [22:00], Micro-rituals for everyday grief: nature, scent, keepsakes, and more [26:00], Funerals vs. Celebrations of Life: understanding your options [30:00], Your weekly challenge: one small, meaningful act of remembrance Resources & Research Mentioned Cherblanc, J., Côté, I., Mercure, C., Boever, C., & Zech, E. (2025). Rituals in grief: Why meaning matters more than numbers. Journal of Loss and Trauma. https://doi.org/10.1080/15325024.2025.2471816 Manquinho, S., Albuquerque, S., Delalibera, M., Coelho, A., & Salvador, Á. (2023). “I could not give him the funeral he deserved”: The role of alternative mourning rituals during the pandemic. Current Psychology, 43, 13668–13678. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-05305-6 Mitima-Verloop, H. B., Mooren, T. T. M., Kritikou, M. E., & Boelen, P. A. (2022). Restricted mourning: Impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on funeral services, grief rituals, and prolonged grief symptoms. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13, Article 878818. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.878818 Wojtkowiak, J., Lind, J., & Smid, G. E. (2021). Ritual in therapy for prolonged grief: A scoping review of ritual elements in evidence-informed grief interventions. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11, Article 623835. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.623835 Center for Grief Therapy. (n.d.). Grief rituals and how they help. https://www.centerforgrieftherapy.com/grief-rituals-and-how-they-help/ This Week’s Listener Challenge Create one small, intentional micro-ritual for someone you miss. It doesn’t have to be public. It doesn’t have to be grand. It just must be meaningful to you. Work With Christina Are you ready to plan a celebration of life that truly honors your loved one’s legacy,  on your timeline, in your own way? 🌸 Celebration of Life, Colorado 📍 Serving the Denver metro area and beyond 🌐  celebrationoflife-colorado.com 📞 720-792-7774 Subscribe & Leave a Review If this episode helped you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your words help other grieving families find this space, and that means everything. Follow the show so you never miss an episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted. Keywords grief rituals, death doula, celebration of life, prolonged grief, funeral alternative, grief healing, micro-rituals, thanatology, end of life planning, grief support, mourning rituals, grief podcast, Colorado death doula, life after loss, coping with grief

  7. Jun 10

    Ep 06. LGBTQ+ End-of-Life Planning: Protecting Your Chosen Family & Identity

    Host: Christina Holohan (M.A. Thanatology, Certified End-of-Life Doula, CMP) Podcast: Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted Episode Summary: Happy Pride Month! We spend our whole lives fighting to build our identities, finding our people, and learning to stand proudly in our truth. But what happens to that authenticity when we die? In this deeply important episode, Christina explores the unique end-of-life challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community. From the heavy toll of "minority stress" to the heartbreaking reality of disenfranchised grief experienced by chosen families, our current legal and medical systems often fail to protect LGBTQ+ elders at their most vulnerable. But there is a path forward. Christina shares empowering, actionable advice on how to reclaim your agency, protect your identity, and curate an authentic goodbye, whether that is through a bespoke Celebration of Life, a joyous Living Tribute, or by putting the right legal safety nets in place. If you live in Colorado, this episode is packed with vital information on specific state laws designed to protect you and your chosen family from erasure. In This Episode, We Cover: [00:00] The true meaning of Pride and why authenticity must extend to the end of life. [04:00] The "Minority Stress Model" and why many LGBTQ+ elders feel forced "back into the closet" during hospice or residential care. [08:30] The legal gap of the "Next of Kin" default and the heavy burden of disenfranchised grief for chosen families. [13:00] Reclaiming your narrative: Why memorials are the ultimate Pride event, protecting your guest list, and the beauty of "Living Tributes." [17:30] Vital legal protections in Colorado: Naming a Funeral Agent vs. an Estate Executor, Designated Beneficiary Agreements, and the 2025 Dignity in Death Act. Resources & Links Mentioned: Colorado Legal Forms (Free to Download & Complete): Declaration of Disposition of Last Remains: Use this form to legally appoint your "Funeral Agent," giving a chosen person immediate authority over your body and memorial, overriding biological family. (Download a sample form here via The Natural Funeral / Colorado Statutes) Designated Beneficiary Agreement: A powerful Colorado-specific form for unmarried couples that instantly grants your partner legal rights to handle your funeral arrangements. (Learn more via the Colorado Bar Association) Advocacy & Community Support: One Colorado: The state's leading advocacy organization dedicated to advancing equality for LGBTQ+ Coloradans and their families. (one-colorado.org) Human Rights Campaign (HRC): Nationwide activism, campaigns, and resources. (hrc.org) Colorado Tourism Office: Find local Pride events and festivities near you, including late-summer events like Pueblo Pride. (colorado.com) Articles & Clinical Research Referenced: "She's Dying and I Can't Say We're Married?": End-of-Life Care for LGBT Older Adults by Dr. Carey Candrian and Kristin G. Cloyes (Published in The Gerontologist, 2020). A rapid review of end-of-life needs in the LGBTQ+ community and recommendations for clinicians by Lisa Lintott et al. (Published in Palliative Medicine, 2022). Healthcare and End-of-Life Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Older Adults: A Scoping Review by Arne Stinchcombe et al. (Published in Geriatrics, 2017). About the Host: Christina Holohan is a Certified End-of-Life Doula, Grief Coach, and the founder of Celebration of Life, Colorado. She holds a Master’s degree in Thanatology, a Bachelor's in Hospitality & Event Management, and is a Certified Meeting Professional (CMP). Blending her deep clinical understanding of grief with her extensive background in highly personalized event coordination, Christina helps families navigate life’s most profound transitions with dignity, love, and purpose. To learn more or to connect with Christina, visit: Celebration of Life, Colorado

  8. Jun 2

    Ep 05. What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving (And What to Say Instead)

    What NOT to Say to Someone Grieving (And What to Say Instead) "I hate the phrase lost your dad. I didn't lose my dad... he died." When my husband Gerald shared this profound realization about his childhood grief, it stopped me in my tracks. It also perfectly highlighted a massive cultural shift: as a society, we have become deeply uncomfortable with the finality of death. In this episode of Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted, Christina Holohan explores the language of loss. We look at the staggering statistics behind how we talk about death, why well-intentioned phrases often cause deep pain, and how we can shift from offering toxic positivity to offering true, heart-centered support. In this episode, we explore: The Great Linguistic Shift: How the word "died" became a cultural taboo, and why medical staff and families now rely on euphemisms 95% of the time. The Words That Hurt: Why phrases like "at least they lived a long life," "be strong," or "everything happens for a reason" leave grieving individuals feeling invalidated and isolated. The Heart-Centered Alternatives: Simple, honest words you can use to hold space for someone's pain, such as "There are no words," or "I cannot possibly understand how you feel, but I am here". Actionable Support: Moving beyond the vague offer of "let me know if you need anything" to providing real, practical help, like dropping off pantry staples or mowing the lawn. Grief in the Workplace: The hidden reality of unacknowledged loss on the job, and how employers can provide the vital time, flexibility, and support grieving employees desperately need. Whether you are navigating a recent loss yourself or want to learn how to better support a friend in their darkest moments, this episode provides a compassionate roadmap for navigating the heavy moments with grace. Resources & References from this Episode: Data & Linguistic Studies: Legacy.com & Mental Floss: Large-Scale Obituary Study analyzing over 2.4 million death notices. NewsBank Database Audit: A historical tracking project of 66 million death announcements detailing the linguistic shift away from the word "died" between 1985 and 2015. National Institutes of Health (NIH): Qualitative research on the use of direct versus figurative language in medical settings and terminal patient conversations. Articles & Further Reading: TEDxACU: Dead is dead: euphemism and the power of words by Phyllis Sommer. Amen Clinics: 19 Worst Things to Say to a Grieving Person. Nothing Is Wasted: What Not to Say. What's Your Grief: Worst Things to Say to a Griever Supporting a Grieving Family Member or Friend: 6 Principles Workplace Options: When Grief Goes Unacknowledged and How it Affects the Workplace. About Celebration of Life, Colorado: When a loss occurs, families shouldn't have to carry the burden of endless to-do lists. My mission as an End-of-Life Doula is to give grieving families the ultimate gift: time. I handle the heavy lifting, logistics, and coordination of bespoke memorial gatherings. While you focus on your immediate emotional needs and entrust the physical remains to your chosen death care provider, I carry the weight of planning the gathering so you can simply be present and heal. Connect with Christina: Website: Celebration of Life, Colorado

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”Life, Death, Grief, Unscripted” breaks the silence around death and focuses on understanding grief, celebrating legacies, end-of-life planning, and providing families with a roadmap of support, practical resources, and emotional guidance when needed. More than a podcast - we’re your partner in navigating life’s most profound transitions with dignity, love, and purpose.

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