Love, Limits and Aging Parents

Esther C. Kane
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  📍 Hosted by Esther Kane, retired OT and certified aging in place specialist and Laurie Newcomb, licensed practicing counselor. This weekly podcast explores one of the most difficult and emotionally complicated experiences many adults will ever face: caring for aging parents when the relationship itself has been painful, manipulative, toxic, abusive, or deeply unresolved.   📍 Each week, Esther and Laurie have honest conversations about the difficult realities many caregivers are afraid to say out loud: the guilt, the exhaustion, the family dysfunction, the impossible choices, and the struggle to balance compassion with healthy boundaries.   📍 Together, they share practical tools, coping strategies, communication techniques, emotional support, and real-world guidance to help caregivers protect their mental health while navigating these complicated family relationships.

  1. 1d ago

    You’re Not the Only One: Finding Support Among Caregivers Who Understand

    Caring for a difficult aging parent can feel painfully isolating, especially when friends and relatives do not understand the guilt, resentment, grief, and old family wounds involved. In this episode, Esther and Laurie discuss how the right support group can give caregivers a safe place to speak honestly, feel believed, and learn from people facing similar struggles. They also explain how to choose a healthy group, protect your privacy, and recognize when a group is making you feel worse instead of supported. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    You’re Not the Only One: Finding Support Among Caregivers Who Understand

  2. Oct 12

    Healing the Wounds You Were Told to Ignore: How Therapy Can Help After Parental Abuse

    Abuse by a parent can continue shaping your life long after the individual incidents have ended. It may influence how you respond to anger, set boundaries, accept care, and approach caregiving when that parent grows old. In this episode, Esther and Laurie discuss how therapy can help survivors understand trauma responses, grieve the parent they needed but never had, and decide what kind of relationship, if any, is emotionally safe. They also explain why healing does not require forgiveness, confrontation, or reconciliation. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    Healing the Wounds You Were Told to Ignore: How Therapy Can Help After Parental Abuse

  3. Oct 5

    When an Aging Parent Becomes Physically Abusive: Making a Safety Plan

    What should you do when an aging parent’s anger becomes physical? In this episode, Esther and Laurie discuss the frightening reality of hitting, pushing, grabbing, throwing objects, blocking exits, and other threatening behavior. They explain how to create a practical safety plan, when to leave, when to call 911, and why dementia or illness may explain aggression without making it safe. This conversation offers caregivers permission to take danger seriously and protect themselves without denying their love for their parent. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    When an Aging Parent Becomes Physically Abusive: Making a Safety Plan

  4. Sep 28

    When It's the Disease Talking: Caring for a Parent Whose Dementia Turned Abusive

    Your parent just called you a thief, or worse, and everyone keeps telling you, "It's the dementia. They don't mean it." You know that. So why does it still hurt this much? In this episode, Esther Kane and licensed counselor Laurie Newcomb explore what happens when dementia makes an aging parent verbally cruel, paranoid, or physically aggressive toward the caregiver who shows up every day. They unpack why the closest caregiver so often becomes the target, what to do when dementia amplifies a hurtful pattern that was there long before the diagnosis, and how boundaries change when your parent can't remember them. You'll hear real caregiver scenarios, simple scripts for defusing accusations, and clear guidance for when aggression becomes a safety issue. The disease explains the behavior. It doesn't require you to absorb it. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988. If you need one-on-one professional guidance, reach out to licensed therapist Laurie Newcomb at Transformationcounselingatl.com. Laurie is licensed in Georgia and Florida and works with clients in person and virtually. Follow the show, leave a review, and share your experience in the comments.

    When It's the Disease Talking: Caring for a Parent Whose Dementia Turned Abusive

  5. Sep 21

    When Caring Requires Distance: Hiring Help to Protect the Relationship

    Sometimes the healthiest way to continue caring for an aging parent is to stop providing every part of that care yourself. In this episode, Esther and Laurie discuss how hiring outside help can reduce conflict, protect caregivers from emotional exhaustion, and create safer boundaries with a difficult parent. They explore the guilt caregivers often feel, the resistance aging parents may show, and practical ways to introduce professional support without turning it into another family battle. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    When Caring Requires Distance: Hiring Help to Protect the Relationship

  6. Sep 14

    When Every Conversation Becomes a Fight: De-escalating Conflict With an Aging Parent

    When an aging parent becomes angry, demanding, critical, or impossible to reason with, even a simple conversation can turn into a battle. In this episode, Esther and Laurie explain why these interactions escalate so quickly and how caregivers can respond without surrendering their dignity or making the conflict worse. You’ll learn practical phrases for lowering the emotional temperature, recognizing when reasoning will not work, setting limits, and knowing when it is time to step away. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    When Every Conversation Becomes a Fight: De-escalating Conflict With an Aging Parent

  7. Sep 7

    When Love Isn't Enough: When to Limite or End Contact With an Aging Parent

    What happens when staying connected to an aging parent is destroying your emotional well-being? In this episode, Esther Kane and licensed professional counselor Laurie Newcomb discuss one of the most painful decisions an adult child may face: whether to limit or end contact with an aging parent. They explore emotional abuse, manipulation, repeated boundary violations, dementia-related behavior, sibling pressure, and the guilt that can follow reduced or no contact. This is not about punishing a parent or making a decision in anger. It is about recognizing when a relationship has become harmful, understanding what options exist between full contact and no contact, and accepting that love does not require unlimited access to you. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    When Love Isn't Enough: When to Limite or End Contact With an Aging Parent

  8. Aug 31

    The Plan You Hope You Never Need

    Most caregivers never make a safety plan — because making one feels like an accusation. Like you're saying something out loud about your parent, or your family, that you're not ready to say. So instead you improvise. You read the room. You get very, very good at hoping today is a good day. In this episode, Esther and Laurie talk about the two kinds of safety every caregiver needs to plan for — the physical and the emotional — and why the second one gets ignored almost every single time. They talk about the difference between a parent whose behavior has changed and a parent who has always been this way, why understanding the reason for someone's behavior doesn't obligate you to absorb it, how to recognize your own body's early warning signals, and what it actually looks like to build a plan before the day you need it. Because a plan isn't a prediction. It's the thing that keeps the love from costing you everything. Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Esther and Laurie share their experiences and perspectives, but nothing here is medical, mental health, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional relationship. If you’re struggling or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed professional. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you’re in emotional crisis, call or text 988.

    The Plan You Hope You Never Need
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  📍 Hosted by Esther Kane, retired OT and certified aging in place specialist and Laurie Newcomb, licensed practicing counselor. This weekly podcast explores one of the most difficult and emotionally complicated experiences many adults will ever face: caring for aging parents when the relationship itself has been painful, manipulative, toxic, abusive, or deeply unresolved.   📍 Each week, Esther and Laurie have honest conversations about the difficult realities many caregivers are afraid to say out loud: the guilt, the exhaustion, the family dysfunction, the impossible choices, and the struggle to balance compassion with healthy boundaries.   📍 Together, they share practical tools, coping strategies, communication techniques, emotional support, and real-world guidance to help caregivers protect their mental health while navigating these complicated family relationships.

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