The Self-Authority Podcast

Elaine S Belson LCSW, The Self-Authority Coach
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

The Self-Authority Podcast is a psychology-informed podcast exploring why women overthink, hesitate to speak up, second-guess themselves, and struggle to trust what they know. Hosted by The Self-Authority Coach and psychotherapist, Elaine Belson, each episode features conversations and stories about the emotional patterns that keep women stuck. This isn’t about becoming fearless or perfect. It’s about knowing what you want and trusting what you know.  New episodes weekly.

  1. Aug 10

    Assert Yourself Without Apology

    Good Girl Conditioning, Perfectionism, and AssertivenessElaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance. (00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern (07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it (08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self (13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern (15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want (17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion (18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life (21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet (23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests (26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance (29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations (31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no (35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked (36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations (38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences (39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships (43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them (46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers (49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work (50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly (53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request (55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building (56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation. Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want Free 90-minute audit session: tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session Website: fireflycareer.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Assert Yourself Without Apology

  2. Aug 3

    Learn to Trust Your Intuition

    Trusting Your Inner Voice: How Energetic Intelligence Shapes Self-AuthorityIn this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections. 00:00 - Welcome and episode overview 00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning 01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs 02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection 03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust 04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration 05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives 06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear 08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception 09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership 11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty 12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data 14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself 15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears 17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence 20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership 21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority 22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self 24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance 29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results 31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust 34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self 36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions 38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence 43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within 45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation. https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/ https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/ Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Learn to Trust Your Intuition

  3. Jul 22

    Stop Being Hard on Yourself

    Most women are their own harshest critic—and it’s often driven by a deep fear of rejection and failure. But what if stopping that inner auto-critic could reshape your confidence and sense of self? On this episode of the Self-Authority Podcast, Elaine Belson shares her personal journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance, revealing powerful techniques to break free from this vicious cycle. Elaine recalls her “bed, bath, and beyond” moment—when anxiety about a simple conversation led her to realize her self-criticism was an addiction disguised as protection. She compares this inner dialogue to alcohol addiction and highlights how she learned to simply "not go there." By doing so, she discovered that being kind to herself on purpose strengthens her confidence and diminishes feelings of inadequacy. She explains how many women overcompensate through overanalyzing, mind-reading, and self-criticism to ward off rejection and failure, often forgetting their worth. You’ll discover: the two essential self-validation techniques designed to help you treat yourself with the same compassion you offer others;how fear of rejection and failure is a survival mechanism hardwired into us; and why relying on external “mirrors”—people’s reactions—leads to distorted self-image.why emotional intelligence and constructive communication are crucial for building authentic self-trust and resilience.practical tools, like asking “What am I genuinely afraid will happen?” when you catch yourself being hard on your inner self, and how to challenge the story behind that fear. This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of battling self- doubt and that inner critic that holds you back from showing up as your true self. By trusting yourself and learning to validate your worth from within, you’ll unlock more confidence, ease, and emotional freedom. Whether you’re new to self-development or seeking concrete strategies to stop self-sabotage, Elaine’s insights will empower you to rewrite your internal narrative and embrace your inherent worth. Perfect for anyone ready to stop using self-criticism as a shield, and start living with self-trust. Transform your relationship with yourself and experience the freedom that comes from trusting your natural worth—because the key to confidence is already inside you. Timestamps: 01:18 - Overthinking and forgetting worries 01:50 - The comparison and mental rehashing cycle 02:31 - Recognizing self-monitoring as an addiction 04:31 - Self-protection through self-criticism 05:17 - Understanding women’s fear of rejection and failure 08:48 - The disconnect between how we treat ourselves and others 09:25 - Normalizing not feeling "good enough" 11:01 - Trusting yourself and overcoming perfectionism 14:18 - Reframing negative self-talk with the same compassion for others 17:27 - Problem-solving instead of self-criticism 19:15 - Being your own best friend 20:29 - The opposite of the golden rule 22:43 - Relying on yourself for a stable sense of identity 29:54 - Avoiding reliance on carnival mirrors: dysfunctional external validation 32:18 - Walking the tightrope: trusting yourself despite fear 42:16 - Trusting yourself and holding others accountable Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Stop Being Hard on Yourself

  4. Jul 14

    Speak Up with Confidence

    The Hidden Barriers That Stop You From Asking for What You Need Discover how our own mental habits, like mind reading and second-guessing, hinder our ability to communicate effectively and build confidence. This episode shares practical insights on shifting from internal chatter to direct conversations that empower us. Key topics: - The impact of pre-verbal self-doubt on communication - How mind reading and anticipation create barriers - The importance of asking questions rather than assuming - Checking in with others to foster clarity - The role of self-awareness in building self-authority - Practical tips to stop overthinking and start authentic conversations - The connection between self-trust and effective communication - Introducing Pam Lippet and her approach to self-awareness Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction to the episode and why women often hesitate to speak up 02:30 - Pam’s childhood and discovery of her voice through theater and debate 05:15 - How early experiences shape communication skills and confidence 08:45 - Navigating gender dynamics in professional settings 12:05 - The importance of preparation and presentation in meetings 15:42 - Overcoming internalized messages about women’s roles and expectations 18:55 - Examples of women supporting or self-sabotaging each other in the workplace 22:07 - How to handle miscommunication or language barriers effectively 26:45 - The power of transparency in workload and project management 30:05 - Strategies for asserting oneself without fear of being wrong 33:25 - The difference between striving for perfection and authentic self-expression 36:30 - Embracing vulnerability and owning mistakes as part of growth 40:15 - Building resilience through the ebbs and flows of confidence 43:20 - Ending conversations with clarity and self-validation 47:00 - The cultural expectation of women apologizing and its impact 50:50 - Practical steps women can take to lead with confidence and authenticity 53:21 - Final encouragement: progress over perfection and continuous growth Pam Lippitt is CEO/Chief Communicator of Pamela Lippitt Communications, LLC (formerly The Hill Street Group), and is a public speaker, corporate trainer and coach helping people improve their communication skills. She helps each client maximize their voice, creating confident, savvy leaders. Pam has been speaking in front of audiences since she was a teenager and is comfortable in front of large and small groups alike. She is currently host of the podcast “Communication is an Art”. She is a proud University of Michigan graduate (Go Blue) with a degree in Communications. Resources & Links: Connect with Pam Lippet! Website: https://www.pamelalippitt.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalippitt/ Instagram: @pamelalippitt.communications Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com Pantene Sorry Commercial: https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI?si=UotIdN0hFcK_jJi8

    Speak Up with Confidence

  5. Jul 7

    Quiet Your Inner Critic

    Unlocking Self-Authority: Master Your Self-Talk and Create the Life You Deserve Discover how shifting your inner dialogue and practicing presence can empower you to overcome limiting beliefs, handle stress, and live authentically. Lee, a self-leadership strategist, shares her transformative journey and actionable tools to help women step into their full potential. 00:00 – Introduction to self-authority and Lee’s story 01:14 – The power of self-talk and its impact on mental health 02:08 – Reframing negative thoughts: strategies for empowerment 03:36 – Childhood reflections: the mirror work and self-love 04:34 – Recognizing voices: mom, dad, and your authentic internal voice 05:31 – Turning depression around through presence and intentionality 07:55 – Rediscovering passion and aligning with your true self 09:12 – The Reactor to Creator framework explained 11:49 – How reacting vs. creating influences your life outcomes 13:22 – The importance of self-love and visualizing future success 17:09 – Controlling perceptions vs. accepting the illusion of control 18:36 – Developing the habit of response and intentional action 21:03 – Addressing imposter syndrome: reframing and real-world examples 23:07 – Why women especially struggle with imposter syndrome & overcoming comparisonitis 27:10 – The dangers of social comparison and embracing your unique path 29:49 – The value of presence and staying in the "here and now" 31:23 – How to embody your future successful self using visualization 34:41 – Self-validation: reasons and techniques to become your own cheerleader 36:29 – Mirror work and recognizing your inner genius, gifts, and greatness 38:46 – Overcoming the fear of failure by shifting self-criticism into self-love 43:49 – Embracing mistakes and humanity as key to growth 45:17 – Lee’s free resource: The 5-minute Self-Talk Reset at http://rewriteyourselftalk.com Ly Smith helps women executives stop reacting and start creating life on their terms. As Self-Leadership Strategist with UpCycle Coaching and founder of the G3 Collective, Ly uses her 30yrs of personal development studies, positive psychology and NLP certification to lead as a member of the Thought Council w/ C-Suite Network. She has helped clients grow revenue by over 30%, break through sales blocks, and transform people pleasing and procrastination into actionable confidence. Her message is simple: Change your self-talk, Change your results! Free Gift: 5-Minute Reset http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com Website: http://www.upcyclecoaching.com LinkedIn: /g3mastermind Podcast: https://talks.co/ly Book Ly: https://bit.ly/zoomwithly Services: Keynote, Corporate Workshop Facilitator, Breakout Session, G3 Accountability Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: / elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Quiet Your Inner Critic

  6. Jul 6

    Quiet Your Inner Critic

    Unlocking Self-Authority: Master Your Self-Talk and Create the Life You Deserve Discover how shifting your inner dialogue and practicing presence can empower you to overcome limiting beliefs, handle stress, and live authentically. Lee, a self-leadership strategist, shares her transformative journey and actionable tools to help women step into their full potential. 00:00 – Introduction to self-authority and Lee’s story 01:14 – The power of self-talk and its impact on mental health 02:08 – Reframing negative thoughts: strategies for empowerment 03:36 – Childhood reflections: the mirror work and self-love 04:34 – Recognizing voices: mom, dad, and your authentic internal voice 05:31 – Turning depression around through presence and intentionality 07:55 – Rediscovering passion and aligning with your true self 09:12 – The Reactor to Creator framework explained 11:49 – How reacting vs. creating influences your life outcomes 13:22 – The importance of self-love and visualizing future success 17:09 – Controlling perce Ly Smith helps women executives stop reacting and start creating life on their terms. As Self-Leadership Strategist with UpCycle Coaching and founder of the G3 Collective, Ly uses her 30yrs of personal development studies, positive psychology and NLP certification to lead as a member of the Thought Council w/ C-Suite Network. She has helped clients grow revenue by over 30%, break through sales blocks, and transform people pleasing and procrastination into actionable confidence. Her message is simple: Change your self-talk, Change your results! Free Gift: 5-Minute Reset http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com Website: http://www.upcyclecoaching.com LinkedIn: /g3mastermind Podcast: https://talks.co/ly Book Ly: https://bit.ly/zoomwithly Services: Keynote, Corporate Workshop Facilitator, Breakout Session, G3 Accountability Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: / elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Quiet Your Inner Critic

  7. Jun 29

    Set Boundaries with Confidence

    How to Stop People-Pleasing: Boundaries, Codependency, and Internal Safety with Barb Nangle On the Self Authority Podcast, host Elaine Belsen talks with boundaries coach and Fragmented to Whole podcast host Barb Nangle about why many women struggle to say no and prioritize their needs without guilt. Barb shares how inviting a homeless parishioner into her home in 2015 led her to confront lifelong codependency, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment, and how 12-step recovery programs (Al-Anon, CoDA, ACA, and OA) helped her reparent herself, lose over 100 pounds, and build healthy boundaries. They discuss women’s socialization under patriarchy, approval-seeking disguised as kindness, external versus internal boundaries, creating internal safety through nervous system support, ending gossip and victim mentality, and how changing personal dynamics can ripple into workplaces and culture. 00:00 Why Women Feel Guilty 01:39 Barb Meets Dan 03:22 Discovering Al Anon 05:45 Finding ACA Reparenting 08:47 From Recovery to Boundaries 12:36 Codependent Bottom Moment 16:35 Why Women Struggle 18:44 Approval Seeking Trap 23:10 Internal Safety Boundaries 28:26 When Helpers Feel Guilty 31:51 Gossip Indirect Communication 33:15 Gossip Culture Wakeup 34:02 Quitting Gossip in Recovery 36:01 Taking Ownership at Work 39:16 Resentment as Boundary Signal 41:29 Tools for Self Trust 44:52 Info Not Ammo Mindset 46:14 Reasonable vs Unrealistic Expectations 50:08 Discomfort Growth vs Dysfunction 53:23 Support Systems and Reciprocity 57:53 Changing Culture Through Self Authority 01:01:30 Internal Safety Takeaway 01:03:01 Closing and Listener Outro At 52, Barb Nangle’s life transformed through 12-step recovery, after decades of therapy merely skimmed the surface. Addressing codependence unlocked healing from intergenerational trauma, childhood wounds, and compulsive overeating. Learning to build healthy boundaries revolutionized her relationships, impacting her professional life at Yale. Formerly masking her struggles with substance use and overeating, she shed over 100 pounds and confronted her deep-seated negativity and fear. Driven by a desire for growth and social justice, Barb now empowers professional women to break patterns of self-neglect. Through boundary coaching, speaking, and her podcast, "Fragmented to Whole," she guides women to build internal safety, reclaim their power and say no to what no longer serves them, fostering a world where inner change drives societal impact. New internal safety course: "Boundaries That Hold: How to Stop Overriding Yourself in Real Time Free 30 minute "Say No without Guilt" call: http://barbchat.net/ podcast: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast https://higherpowercc.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/barb-nangle https://www.youtube.com/@higherpowercoaching What's Draining Your Boundaries Quiz: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Set Boundaries with Confidence

  8. Jun 29

    Set Boundaries with Confidence

    How to Stop People-Pleasing: Boundaries, Codependency, and Internal Safety with Barb Nangle On the Self Authority Podcast, host Elaine Belsen talks with boundaries coach and Fragmented to Whole podcast host Barb Nangle about why many women struggle to say no and prioritize their needs without guilt. Barb shares how inviting a homeless parishioner into her home in 2015 led her to confront lifelong codependency, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment, and how 12-step recovery programs (Al-Anon, CoDA, ACA, and OA) helped her reparent herself, lose over 100 pounds, and build healthy boundaries. They discuss women’s socialization under patriarchy, approval-seeking disguised as kindness, external versus internal boundaries, creating internal safety through nervous system support, ending gossip and victim mentality, and how changing personal dynamics can ripple into workplaces and culture. 00:00 Why Women Feel Guilty 01:39 Barb Meets Dan 03:22 Discovering Al Anon 05:45 Finding ACA Reparenting 08:47 From Recovery to Boundaries 12:36 Codependent Bottom Moment 16:35 Why Women Struggle 18:44 Approval Seeking Trap 23:10 Internal Safety Boundaries 28:26 When Helpers Feel Guilty 31:51 Gossip Indirect Communication 33:15 Gossip Culture Wakeup 34:02 Quitting Gossip in Recovery 36:01 Taking Ownership at Work 39:16 Resentment as Boundary Signal 41:29 Tools for Self Trust 44:52 Info Not Ammo Mindset 46:14 Reasonable vs Unrealistic Expectations 50:08 Discomfort Growth vs Dysfunction 53:23 Support Systems and Reciprocity 57:53 Changing Culture Through Self Authority 01:01:30 Internal Safety Takeaway 01:03:01 Closing and Listener Outro At 52, Barb Nangle’s life transformed through 12-step recovery, after decades of therapy merely skimmed the surface. Addressing codependence unlocked healing from intergenerational trauma, childhood wounds, and compulsive overeating. Learning to build healthy boundaries revolutionized her relationships, impacting her professional life at Yale. Formerly masking her struggles with substance use and overeating, she shed over 100 pounds and confronted her deep-seated negativity and fear. Driven by a desire for growth and social justice, Barb now empowers professional women to break patterns of self-neglect. Through boundary coaching, speaking, and her podcast, "Fragmented to Whole," she guides women to build internal safety, reclaim their power and say no to what no longer serves them, fostering a world where inner change drives societal impact. New internal safety course: "Boundaries That Hold: How to Stop Overriding Yourself in Real Time Free 30 minute "Say No without Guilt" call: http://barbchat.net/ podcast: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast https://higherpowercc.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/barb-nangle https://www.youtube.com/@higherpowercoaching What's Draining Your Boundaries Quiz: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ Connect with Elaine! LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

    Set Boundaries with Confidence
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

The Self-Authority Podcast is a psychology-informed podcast exploring why women overthink, hesitate to speak up, second-guess themselves, and struggle to trust what they know. Hosted by The Self-Authority Coach and psychotherapist, Elaine Belson, each episode features conversations and stories about the emotional patterns that keep women stuck. This isn’t about becoming fearless or perfect. It’s about knowing what you want and trusting what you know.  New episodes weekly.

Information

  • Creator
    Elaine S Belson LCSW, The Self-Authority Coach
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Elaine S Belson LCSW, The Self-Authority Coach
  • Show Website
    The Self-Authority Podcast