Dying To Ask with Christy B.

Christy B.
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Most of us were never taught how to be with death and Christy's voice is just what the (hospice) doctor ordered. Hosted by death doula and end-of-life educator Christy Braun M.S., this podcast pulls back the curtain on all things end-of-life: hospice & palliative care, caregiver fatigue, advance directives, and what actually happens as someone is dying. Every conversation is honest and grounded, with no spiritual bypassing. Whether you are caring for someone you love or carrying grief of your own, you belong here. If there's something you're dying to ask, reach out: christy@christybraun.com

Episodes

  1. Jul 24

    11. More Than A Memory

    This episode is dedicated to someone I love dearly. Don't worry my friend, I am holding our memories tightly; I carry them with me in this work and every day. I love you. ----- Christy sits down with Lori Rizzo of Compassionate Crossings, her go-to voice on dementia care, to say the hard things plainly. Dementia is terminal, and it is more than memory loss. Lori Rizzo shows up for the moments when everything feels uncertain ... as an end-of-life doula, dementia specialist, and grief companion. She supports people when a serious illness is diagnosed, dementia reshapes everything, death is close, and when families feel lost and overwhelmed. She offers steady guidance, education, and a grounded, calming presence. Lori is also a community lead for Dementia Friendly Montgomery County, a volunteer grassroots initiative on a mission to change how communities understand, talk about, and show up for people living with dementia. If you love someone living with dementia, this one is for you. In this episode 00:00 — The calling came first. Lori's slow path from corporate life into death work 06:00 — How a career in learning, leadership, and communication carries into the work 13:00 — How dementia became central to Lori's practice 16:30 — Three things Lori wishes people knew. 22:00 — What stigma and silence cost a family 25:30 — What becomes possible when you get ahead of it instead of waiting for a crisis 29:00 — Brain health, cognitive baselines, and the case for a dementia advance directive 34:00 — Dementia is not instinctive, and nobody hands you a roadmap 37:30 — Story time. Sundowning, folding the towels, and prayer 43:00 — The grief caregivers carry in private, and the guilt they rarely say out loud 47:00 — How to show up for a caregiver. Presence, not perfection 50:30 — A message for the person in the thick of it, plus placement guilt and support groups 54:00 — Hope that changes shape, and finding joy in what remains 57:00 — Where to find Lori Links Compassionate Crossings (Lori Rizzo): https://www.compassionatecrossingsdoula.comDaughterhood: https://daughterhood.orgDaughterhood Circle Leaders (Lori's page): https://daughterhood.org/meet-the-circle-leaders/

    11. More Than A Memory

  2. Jul 22

    10. Dear Lisa Frank, (a gentle grief suggestion)

    When you are grieving, people hand you a lot of gentle suggestions when even the small things feel like too much. This week I want to offer you one more, and it is smaller and lower stakes than almost anything else. Stickers. I know how that sounds. So we are going to sit with that together, and I am going to show you how a five-minute thing you did as a kid might be a small comfort on the days that feel impossible. In this episode, we talk about: Why a small, finishable act can steady you when nothing else feels doableHow being in the present moment is where grief tends to hurt the leastGiving yourself a break from the endless list of admin that comes with lossWhy distraction is not the same thing as avoidance, and why you can let go of the guiltHow a few quiet minutes is a way of telling yourself you still matterMaking your own grief version of a reminder sticker sheet, one small nudge at a time "On a hard day, one sticker is enough. There is no dose you are supposed to hit and no way to fall behind." This one is tender and low pressure, the same way the practice itself is. If you are in the thick of it right now, I hope it gives you permission to do one small kind thing for yourself today. Let's stay connected If something in this episode landed, or made you want to ask a question of your own, I would be honored to hear it. You can reach me at christy@christybraun.com.

  3. Jul 8

    09. Helen Dunkle, RN, on Doula Work and Why She Traded In Her Stethoscope

    Find Helen Website: https://pinnacledoula.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helen-dunkle-msn-rn-bcFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/PinnacleDoula A Luxury and a Privilege with Helen Dunkle, RN Helen Dunkle, RN spent more than forty years at the bedside. She started in labor and delivery, crying through every birth, and she ended up in hospice, sitting with families through the last breath. Somewhere along the way, death stopped being the thing she feared. It became sacred. In this gathering we talk about what changes when a nurse learns to set the clinical checklist down and lean into humanity. We talk about tea, gentle hands, why calling 911 can rob someone of the death they wanted, and why dying at home is a luxury and a privilege. Helen also opens up about the grief that cracked her open at twenty-three, red lipstick, and the Reiki work that surprised her clinical mind. This one stayed with me. I think it will stay with you too. About Helen Helen Dunkle, RN, is the founder of Pinnacle Doula Services in Easton, Pennsylvania. She is a registered nurse with more than four decades of clinical experience, a certified end-of-life and elder care doula, and a Reiki practitioner. Her work grew out of hospice, home health, and healthcare consulting. She walks beside families through serious illness, caregiving, grief, and the end of life, in person and virtually. 00:00 Meet Helen Dunkel 01:11 From Birth to Hospice 03:08 Crying and Presence 05:05 Cup of Tea Care 07:50 Supporting Caregivers 09:46 Calming Bedside Panic 13:24 Hospice Bridge Role1 4:42 Medication Myths and Comfort 17:26 Preparing for Breathing Changes18:45 Why Not Call 911 20:53 After Death in the ER 21:40 ED Reality Check 22:16 Sacred Home Death Care 23:10 Time and Legal Windows 24:36 Nurse to Doula Shift 28:33 Grandmother’s Parting Smile 30:45 Reiki as a Porta l33:35 Energy Clearing Stories 38:27 What Nurses Aren’t Taught 40:32 Presence in Hospice Rooms 43:15 Closing and Where to Find Her Take good care of yourself. And if there's something you are dying to ask, I'm right here at christy@christybraun.com.

    09. Helen Dunkle, RN, on Doula Work and Why She Traded In Her Stethoscope

  4. Jul 1

    8. Hearing Voices: Legacy Recordings with Barrie Farivar of Leaf

    Website: sharewithleaf.com Instagram: @sharewithleaf There are sounds we hold onto. The way someone says our name. A laugh we would know anywhere. In this episode I sit down with Barrie Farivar, founder of Leaf, to talk about capturing the voices and stories of the people we love before they fade. Barrie spent fourteen years in technology at Google and YouTube. Then her dad shared an old recording of her grandmother, and hearing that voice changed something for her. She left to build Leaf, a simple app for recording and saving the voices we never want to lose. We talk about why a voice reaches us so deeply, how to gather these moments without making them feel like work, and how our relationship with a recording shifts as we move through grief. In this conversation 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:24 Meet Bari and Leaf 01:38 Origin Story: From Seed to Sprout 04:06 How Leaf Works 05:59 Why Voice Matters 07:27 Recording During Illness 08:46 Family Stories and Legacy 10:12 Grief and Listening Later 11:15 Simple Prompts to Ask 13:56 Privacy and Control 14:36 Favorite Recordings 17:16 Albums and Group Gifts 18:49 Where to Find Leaf 19:31 Closing Reflections Try this at home Tell me about your first job.How did you meet mom or dad?Tell me about your first date.About Barrie Barrie Farivar is the founder of Leaf, a voice recording app built to preserve the people and stories we love most. Before Leaf, she spent fourteen years working in technology at Google and YouTube. Find Leaf Website: www.sharewithleaf.comInstagram: @sharewithleafApp: search "Leaf Voice Recorder and Journal" Apple App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/leaf-voice-recorder-journal/id1668691902 Google Play Store: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sharewithleaf.app&hl=en_US Christy@ChristyBraun.com https://ChristyBraun.com

    8. Hearing Voices: Legacy Recordings with Barrie Farivar of Leaf

  5. Jun 25

    7. The Casserole and the Getaway Car

    We bring the casserole. We say a quick thing at the door. Then we get out fast, because standing in someone's grief with no plan to fix it is the part that scares us most. This episode is for the bystanders, the friends who want to help in the midst of death. We take apart the belief that keeps us frozen, that we need the right words to show up for someone. There are no right words. There is no sentence that fixes grief, and grief is not here to be fixed. What people remember is not the clumsy thing you said. It is who stayed, and who disappeared. This one gives you something to do with your hands and your heart instead of fleeing. "The wrong thing said by someone who showed up is worth a hundred times more than the perfect thing you never said because you stayed home". Carol's Tuna Casserole Since we spent the whole episode on casserole, here is one worth bringing. My mom's tuna casserole is still the one I crave when times are tough. Serves 4 Ingredients: 3 1/2 cups wide egg noodles1 can tuna, drained1/2 cup mayonnaise1 cup celery, chopped1/3 cup onion, chopped1 teaspoon salt1 can cream of celery soup1/2 cup milk1 cup shredded cheddar cheeseDirections: Cook the noodles until just tender, then drain.Combine the noodles with the tuna, mayonnaise, celery, onion, and salt.In a separate pot blend the soup and milk over low heat, then fold in the cheese until it melts. (RIP Moira Rose)Add the cheese mixture to the noodles and stir to coat.Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, preferably in an antique Pyrex casserole dish.Timestamps (00:00) Why we reach for the casserole (02:00) The fleeing is the real problem (03:30) The belief that we need the right words (04:00) What actually hurts people in grief (05:00) There are no magic words, and that sets us free (06:30) The things we say that try to shrink grief (08:00) Why "let me know if you need anything" does nothing (08:30) "I don't know what to say" as a gift (09:30) Say their name. Tell a story. (10:30) Do one specific thing (11:30) The week everyone leaves, and how you can be different (14:00) Be gentle with yourself, a late text is still a text (14:30) Bonus Tip Take good care of yourself. And if there's something you are dying to ask, I'm right here at christy@christybraun.com.

  6. Jun 17

    6. Dead People Don't Need Resumés

    Someone you love has died, and now there is a blank page to fill. Most of us freeze and reach for the dates and the job titles, and somehow the warm, funny, real person disappears behind a list. This week we do it differently. Because a eulogy is not a resume. It is the story of a person. It is your chance to stand in front of everyone who loved them and say, out loud, here is who they were, and here is how we will carry them. You do not have to be a writer to do this. You only have to be honest. And in this episode, we walk through it together, one gentle step at a time. In this episode, we talk about: Where to begin when the page is blank and your heart is heavyHow to gather memories from the other people who loved themWhy one small moment says more than a lifetime of achievementsHow to find the thread that ran through their whole lifeThe quirks and habits worth keeping in, and why they matter so muchHow to close in a way that stays with the gatheringA reminder to be gentle with yourself while you write"Presence matters more than perfection. You only have to tell us the truth of someone you loved." This one is tender, and a little funny in places, and I hope it leaves you feeling a bit braver about a task most of us dread. Resources mentioned Grab the free downloadable eulogy guide, plus everything else, on my resources page: https://christybraun.com/resources Let's stay connected If there's something you are dying to ask, I'm right here at christy@christybraun.com. TIMELINE 00:00 Facing the Blank Page 01:33 What a Eulogy Is 02:17 Build the Life Frame 03:39 Gather Stories Together 06:15 Moments That Show Character 07:16 Find the Thread 07:57 Small Strange True Details 08:54 How to End It Well 10:04 Grief Work Not Perfection 11:16 Help Resources and Writing Early 12:32 Closing Time

  7. Jun 8

    5. Congratulations on your diagnosis: As a free bonus, you'll be handling everyone else's feelings about it.

    5. Congratulations on your diagnosis: As a free bonus, you'll be handling everyone else's feelings about it. One of my closest friends called me today because she wasn't sure how to explain what I do to someone who needed help. I could have felt some kind of way about that. Instead it gave me this episode. In this one I talk about the part of my work that almost nobody names. When you get a diagnosis, the people who love you start having their own experience of it, and somewhere along the way you become the person managing the room. You soften the news so your sister can handle it. You reassure everyone that you're fine so they can sleep. You end up carrying your own diagnosis and everyone else's feelings about it at the same time. This is a look at what a death doula actually does in the middle of treatment, long before the very end. Finding your center when a diagnosis has scattered it. Finding the words to ask for what you need. Setting boundaries with the people in your life and having help saying them out loud. Handling the practical paperwork at your pace and nobody else's. And remembering that you are allowed to be in the center of your own experience. If you are in it right now, or you love someone who is, this one is for you. www.christybraun.com Christy@ChristyBraun.com Death Doula Training: https://go.compassdoulaacademy.com/live-online-doula-training-cohort 00:00 Friend Can’t Explain My Work 01:28 Beyond the Medical Room 02:21 Finding Your Center Again 03:06 Carrying Everyone Else’s Feelings 04:31 Boundaries and Real Support 05:04 Outside Person Who Can Hold It 05:33 Paperwork and End-of-Life Planning 06:14 Care Like Birth Support 06:35 Permission to Put You First 07:16 Find a Doula and Next Steps 07:51 Outro and Training Invitation

  8. Jun 3

    4. Failure is NOT an Option

    In the latest episode of 'Dying to Ask,' we tackle the profound and often unspoken belief that death equates to failure. Join me as I offer a new perspective that transforms the narrative around life's inevitable completion, encouraging presence, love, and the understanding that death deserves as much care as birth. ChristyBraun.com for more information and resources. 00:00 Welcome and Core Belief 00:53 Death as a Battle 02:39 Where the War Language Came From 04:09 The Hidden Harm of Failure 06:30 Death as Completion 08:32 Presence Over Perfection 09:08 What a Tended Death Looks Like 11:08 Letting Go of Guilt 12:59 www.ChristyBraun.com

  9. Jun 1

    3. The Talk You Keep Putting Off

    The Conversation You Keep Avoiding: Asking Your Parents What They Want at the End of Life Christy B. explains why it’s important to talk with parents or caregivers about what they would want at the end of life, sharing how her father was panic-stricken when asked to decide about a feeding tube for his Parkinson’s-affected father without knowing his wishes. She outlines common reasons people avoid the topic—superstition, fear of upsetting them, and assuming there’s more time—and reframes the discussion as learning what matters most to the person and protecting their autonomy. She advises opening the door gradually using a “borrowed story,” asking simple questions, pausing to listen, and not arguing with answers you dislike. She notes that advance directives and professionals can document wishes, but the conversation must come first. https://ChristyBraun.com for more information and resources. 00:00 Introduction 00:58 The Story: My Grandfather's Final Days 03:29 Why We Avoid the Conversation 06:02 Reframing: It's Not About Death 08:22 How to Start the Conversation 11:43 What to Listen For 13:24 Advance Directives 3:58 The Hardest Part: Listening 15:31 Bringing It Home 16:29 Your Assignment - Open the Door!

  10. May 27

    2. Keeping Watch: What Sailing Taught Me About Dying

    Christy reflects on nighttime watch at sea and how six years living aboard a sailboat taught her lessons that later shaped her work as a Death Doula sitting with dying people. She contrasts the romantic image of boat life with its realities—constant maintenance, tight quarters, and the ever-present weather concerns and draws bedside wisdom from those memories. Noting that the only true choice is one’s response: keeping watch, staying present, and being a steady presence without trying to change the weather. https://ChristyBraun.com for more information and resources. 00:00 Alone On Night Watch 00:49 Boat Life Reality Check 01:56 Maintenance Over Magic 02:44 Weather Rules Everything 04:22 Dying And Weather Windows 05:20 Heaving To In Storms 06:43 Letting Go Is Skill 08:56 Control Stories And Grief 11:11 Keeping Watch At Bedside1 12:35 Closing And Where To Find Me

  11. May 24

    1. I Just Want This to Be Over, and Other Things You're Allowed to Feel

    Death doula, Christy Braun, M.S. introduces her podcast as an honest, untidy space to talk openly about death, dying, caregiving, and grief without platitudes, promising to stay with listeners through the hard parts. She explains that caregivers often seek more information, but what steadies them is practical support and focusing on what matters right now. Suggestions include creating simple daily anchor points (check-ins, medications, eating, resting), keeping all notes and questions in one place, knowing who to call when changes happen, and accepting specific help from others. She emphasizes making the environment physically supportive, normalizes feelings like “I just want this to be over,” encourages small breaks and having one non-entangled support person, and describes a shift from trying to control the process to supporting it while being reminded you’re doing a great job. 00:00 Welcome to the Podcast 00:17 What This Show Is 01:47 Caregiving Info Overload 02:51 Daily Rhythm and Notes 04:08 Know Who to Call 04:30 Let People Help You 05:16 Make Your Space Supportive 06:20 Hard Feelings Are Normal 07:21 Micro Breaks That Work 08:06 One Steady Support Person 08:49 Letting Go of Control 09:21 You Are Doing Great 10:14 Closing and Next Steps

  12. Trailer

    0.0 Trailer

    Dying to Ask with Christy B. is a podcast about death, dying, and what it really means to care for someone at the end of life. Hosted by death doula and end-of-life educator, Christy Braun, each episode opens up honest conversations about hospice care, palliative care, caregiver burnout, anticipatory grief, advance directives, and the dying process itself. Christy brings tender, grounded, practical wisdom to the questions families wrestle with behind closed doors, with no spiritual bypassing and no tidy answers. Whether you are a caregiver, facing a terminal diagnosis, walking through grief, or simply death-curious and ready to live more awake, this show helps you face mortality with less fear and more presence. www.christybraun.com

Trailer

About

Most of us were never taught how to be with death and Christy's voice is just what the (hospice) doctor ordered. Hosted by death doula and end-of-life educator Christy Braun M.S., this podcast pulls back the curtain on all things end-of-life: hospice & palliative care, caregiver fatigue, advance directives, and what actually happens as someone is dying. Every conversation is honest and grounded, with no spiritual bypassing. Whether you are caring for someone you love or carrying grief of your own, you belong here. If there's something you're dying to ask, reach out: christy@christybraun.com

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