Dying To Ask with Christy B.

Christy B.
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Most of us were never taught how to be with death and Christy's voice is just what the (hospice) doctor ordered. Hosted by death doula and end-of-life educator Christy Braun M.S., this podcast pulls back the curtain on all things end-of-life: hospice & palliative care, caregiver fatigue, advance directives, and what actually happens as someone is dying. Every conversation is honest and grounded, with no spiritual bypassing. Whether you are caring for someone you love or carrying grief of your own, you belong here. If there's something you're dying to ask, reach out: christy@christybraun.com

  1. Aug 26

    14. Nobody's Filming You: The Loneliness of Caregiving

    There is a documentary out right now called Caregiving, and famous people are finally talking about this work out loud. But nobody is filming you. This one is for the family caregivers doing the invisible, exhausting, sacred work with no camera crew and no applause. Christy talks about Bradley Cooper's documentary and the wave of celebrities going public with their own caregiving stories, from Rob Lowe to Queen Latifah to Seth and Lauren Rogen, and then turns to the person actually living it right now. If you are caring for someone who is aging, ill, or dying, this one is for you. We name the loneliness, the anticipatory grief, and the guilt and resentment and relief that come with it, and we talk about a few small things that can make the week a little lighter. It is honest, it is tender, and it does not hand you tidy answers. CHAPTERS 00:00 - The documentary that's really about you 00:40 - Welcome to Dying to Ask 01:20 - Bradley Cooper, and a loneliness money can't fix 02:05 - When famous caregivers say the quiet part out loud 02:55 - Nobody's filming you 03:35 - What caregiving actually looks like, and how common it is 04:50 - When the casseroles stop and the check-ins thin out 06:00 - Anticipatory grief, and the guilt, resentment, and relief it brings 07:45 - The work already matters, and it's okay to want to be seen 09:10 - Small moves that make the week lighter 11:15 - National Grief Awareness Day and the layers of grief 12:15 - This week's resource, and a word before you go www.ChristyBraun.com

  2. Aug 14

    13. Sideways...Grief is a Sneaky B!tch

    Episode description We tend to think grief only counts if someone died. Dr. Megan Rhoads is here to widen that. Grief is a whole-person response to losing anything that helped organize your life, your identity, or the future you were counting on. A death, yes. Also a move, a breakup, an empty nest, or letting go of who you used to be. In this conversation, Megan gets honest about the loss that undid everything she thought she knew about grief, even with all her training. She and Christy talk about what our culture keeps getting wrong, why grief comes out sideways when we push it down, and small, human ways to move through it without pretending we’re fine. It’s tender, it’s real, and it’s a lot warmer than a grief conversation has any right to be. 00:03 What people get wrong about grief 00:07 “It doesn’t mean you’re broken” 00:11 Grief has no timeline 00:14 Megan’s story: Mexico, a breakup, and a loss 00:18 Four takeaways from grieving in community 00:30 Inside the Lunar Grief Release 00:34 Coping strategies that don’t work 00:45 How hypnotherapy helps with grief 00:48 The dimmer switch and the wise adult 00:52 What happens when we push grief aside 00:56 What to hear if you’re grieving right now 01:00 What to say, and what not to say 01:05 What Megan knows for sure about grief Connect with Dr. Megan Rhoads Website: solpsychology.org Grief resources, the Lunar Grief Release, and a grief-and-depression questionnaire: www.solpsychology.org/grief - fill out the questionnaire to understand what you are carrying, work with Dr. Megan/her associates, attend grief group, or stay updated about future grief offerings Suggested Books It’s OK That You’re Not OK — Megan Devine Finding Meaning — David Kessler On Grief and Grieving — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler The Grieving Brain — Mary-Frances O’Connor

    13. Sideways...Grief is a Sneaky B!tch

  3. Aug 2

    12. The Steadiness Is the Skill

    Most of what we think we know about dying is wrong. And most of it is gentler than we fear. In this episode I take you to the bedside. To the last days and hours, and what actually happens there. I share what I've learned from sitting with people near the end. Why some people wait until the room is quiet to go. What the changed breathing really means, and why it isn't the suffering families fear. The window of clarity that sometimes comes near the end, and why you shouldn't wait to say the thing you've been carrying. And the life, and yes the laughter and the soup ladle, that still fills a dying room. I also talk about how I got here. More than twenty years in insurance, measuring risk, and then finding the work I was actually built for. Here's what nobody tells you. Being there at the end is not something you have to be born knowing how to do. It can be learned. The steadiness is the skill, and more people are needed who are willing to learn it. If you've felt that pull, our next live cohort of Compass Doula Academy starts August 6, 2026. We spend ten weeks together learning how to sit with the dying and the people who love them, and how to build a practice that can hold you up while you hold everyone else up. Come find us:Learn more and join the next cohort: www.christybraun.com Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033hP7XU8NMJ3aic5mLFqr?si=zm2AZuivQJyn1DQm4AC6WQInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/askchristyb/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AskChristyBLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/askchristyb/ Take good care of yourself. And if there's something you are dying to ask, I'm right here at christy@christybraun.com.

  4. Jul 24

    11. More Than A Memory

    This episode is dedicated to someone I love dearly. Don't worry my friend, I am holding our memories tightly; I carry them with me in this work and every day. I love you. ----- Christy sits down with Lori Rizzo of Compassionate Crossings, her go-to voice on dementia care, to say the hard things plainly. Dementia is terminal, and it is more than memory loss. Lori Rizzo shows up for the moments when everything feels uncertain ... as an end-of-life doula, dementia specialist, and grief companion. She supports people when a serious illness is diagnosed, dementia reshapes everything, death is close, and when families feel lost and overwhelmed. She offers steady guidance, education, and a grounded, calming presence. Lori is also a community lead for Dementia Friendly Montgomery County, a volunteer grassroots initiative on a mission to change how communities understand, talk about, and show up for people living with dementia. If you love someone living with dementia, this one is for you. In this episode 00:00 — The calling came first. Lori's slow path from corporate life into death work 06:00 — How a career in learning, leadership, and communication carries into the work 13:00 — How dementia became central to Lori's practice 16:30 — Three things Lori wishes people knew. 22:00 — What stigma and silence cost a family 25:30 — What becomes possible when you get ahead of it instead of waiting for a crisis 29:00 — Brain health, cognitive baselines, and the case for a dementia advance directive 34:00 — Dementia is not instinctive, and nobody hands you a roadmap 37:30 — Story time. Sundowning, folding the towels, and prayer 43:00 — The grief caregivers carry in private, and the guilt they rarely say out loud 47:00 — How to show up for a caregiver. Presence, not perfection 50:30 — A message for the person in the thick of it, plus placement guilt and support groups 54:00 — Hope that changes shape, and finding joy in what remains 57:00 — Where to find Lori Links Compassionate Crossings (Lori Rizzo): https://www.compassionatecrossingsdoula.comDaughterhood: https://daughterhood.orgDaughterhood Circle Leaders (Lori's page): https://daughterhood.org/meet-the-circle-leaders/

    11. More Than A Memory

  5. Jul 22

    10. Dear Lisa Frank, (a gentle grief suggestion)

    When you are grieving, people hand you a lot of gentle suggestions when even the small things feel like too much. This week I want to offer you one more, and it is smaller and lower stakes than almost anything else. Stickers. I know how that sounds. So we are going to sit with that together, and I am going to show you how a five-minute thing you did as a kid might be a small comfort on the days that feel impossible. In this episode, we talk about: Why a small, finishable act can steady you when nothing else feels doableHow being in the present moment is where grief tends to hurt the leastGiving yourself a break from the endless list of admin that comes with lossWhy distraction is not the same thing as avoidance, and why you can let go of the guiltHow a few quiet minutes is a way of telling yourself you still matterMaking your own grief version of a reminder sticker sheet, one small nudge at a time "On a hard day, one sticker is enough. There is no dose you are supposed to hit and no way to fall behind." This one is tender and low pressure, the same way the practice itself is. If you are in the thick of it right now, I hope it gives you permission to do one small kind thing for yourself today. Let's stay connected If something in this episode landed, or made you want to ask a question of your own, I would be honored to hear it. You can reach me at christy@christybraun.com.

  6. Jul 8

    9. Helen Dunkle, RN, on Doula Work and Why She Traded In Her Stethoscope

    Find Helen Website: https://pinnacledoula.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helen-dunkle-msn-rn-bcFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/PinnacleDoula A Luxury and a Privilege with Helen Dunkle, RN Helen Dunkle, RN spent more than forty years at the bedside. She started in labor and delivery, crying through every birth, and she ended up in hospice, sitting with families through the last breath. Somewhere along the way, death stopped being the thing she feared. It became sacred. In this gathering we talk about what changes when a nurse learns to set the clinical checklist down and lean into humanity. We talk about tea, gentle hands, why calling 911 can rob someone of the death they wanted, and why dying at home is a luxury and a privilege. Helen also opens up about the grief that cracked her open at twenty-three, red lipstick, and the Reiki work that surprised her clinical mind. This one stayed with me. I think it will stay with you too. About Helen Helen Dunkle, RN, is the founder of Pinnacle Doula Services in Easton, Pennsylvania. She is a registered nurse with more than four decades of clinical experience, a certified end-of-life and elder care doula, and a Reiki practitioner. Her work grew out of hospice, home health, and healthcare consulting. She walks beside families through serious illness, caregiving, grief, and the end of life, in person and virtually. 00:00 Meet Helen Dunkel 01:11 From Birth to Hospice 03:08 Crying and Presence 05:05 Cup of Tea Care 07:50 Supporting Caregivers 09:46 Calming Bedside Panic 13:24 Hospice Bridge Role1 4:42 Medication Myths and Comfort 17:26 Preparing for Breathing Changes18:45 Why Not Call 911 20:53 After Death in the ER 21:40 ED Reality Check 22:16 Sacred Home Death Care 23:10 Time and Legal Windows 24:36 Nurse to Doula Shift 28:33 Grandmother’s Parting Smile 30:45 Reiki as a Porta l33:35 Energy Clearing Stories 38:27 What Nurses Aren’t Taught 40:32 Presence in Hospice Rooms 43:15 Closing and Where to Find Her Take good care of yourself. And if there's something you are dying to ask, I'm right here at christy@christybraun.com.

    9. Helen Dunkle, RN, on Doula Work and Why She Traded In Her Stethoscope

  7. Jul 1

    8. Hearing Voices: Legacy Recordings with Barrie Farivar of Leaf

    Website: sharewithleaf.com Instagram: @sharewithleaf There are sounds we hold onto. The way someone says our name. A laugh we would know anywhere. In this episode I sit down with Barrie Farivar, founder of Leaf, to talk about capturing the voices and stories of the people we love before they fade. Barrie spent fourteen years in technology at Google and YouTube. Then her dad shared an old recording of her grandmother, and hearing that voice changed something for her. She left to build Leaf, a simple app for recording and saving the voices we never want to lose. We talk about why a voice reaches us so deeply, how to gather these moments without making them feel like work, and how our relationship with a recording shifts as we move through grief. In this conversation 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:24 Meet Bari and Leaf 01:38 Origin Story: From Seed to Sprout 04:06 How Leaf Works 05:59 Why Voice Matters 07:27 Recording During Illness 08:46 Family Stories and Legacy 10:12 Grief and Listening Later 11:15 Simple Prompts to Ask 13:56 Privacy and Control 14:36 Favorite Recordings 17:16 Albums and Group Gifts 18:49 Where to Find Leaf 19:31 Closing Reflections Try this at home Tell me about your first job.How did you meet mom or dad?Tell me about your first date.About Barrie Barrie Farivar is the founder of Leaf, a voice recording app built to preserve the people and stories we love most. Before Leaf, she spent fourteen years working in technology at Google and YouTube. Find Leaf Website: www.sharewithleaf.comInstagram: @sharewithleafApp: search "Leaf Voice Recorder and Journal" Apple App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/leaf-voice-recorder-journal/id1668691902 Google Play Store: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sharewithleaf.app&hl=en_US Christy@ChristyBraun.com https://ChristyBraun.com

    8. Hearing Voices: Legacy Recordings with Barrie Farivar of Leaf

  8. Jun 25

    7. The Casserole and the Getaway Car

    We bring the casserole. We say a quick thing at the door. Then we get out fast, because standing in someone's grief with no plan to fix it is the part that scares us most. This episode is for the bystanders, the friends who want to help in the midst of death. We take apart the belief that keeps us frozen, that we need the right words to show up for someone. There are no right words. There is no sentence that fixes grief, and grief is not here to be fixed. What people remember is not the clumsy thing you said. It is who stayed, and who disappeared. This one gives you something to do with your hands and your heart instead of fleeing. "The wrong thing said by someone who showed up is worth a hundred times more than the perfect thing you never said because you stayed home". Carol's Tuna Casserole Since we spent the whole episode on casserole, here is one worth bringing. My mom's tuna casserole is still the one I crave when times are tough. Serves 4 Ingredients: 3 1/2 cups wide egg noodles1 can tuna, drained1/2 cup mayonnaise1 cup celery, chopped1/3 cup onion, chopped1 teaspoon salt1 can cream of celery soup1/2 cup milk1 cup shredded cheddar cheeseDirections: Cook the noodles until just tender, then drain.Combine the noodles with the tuna, mayonnaise, celery, onion, and salt.In a separate pot blend the soup and milk over low heat, then fold in the cheese until it melts. (RIP Moira Rose)Add the cheese mixture to the noodles and stir to coat.Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, preferably in an antique Pyrex casserole dish.Timestamps (00:00) Why we reach for the casserole (02:00) The fleeing is the real problem (03:30) The belief that we need the right words (04:00) What actually hurts people in grief (05:00) There are no magic words, and that sets us free (06:30) The things we say that try to shrink grief (08:00) Why "let me know if you need anything" does nothing (08:30) "I don't know what to say" as a gift (09:30) Say their name. Tell a story. (10:30) Do one specific thing (11:30) The week everyone leaves, and how you can be different (14:00) Be gentle with yourself, a late text is still a text (14:30) Bonus Tip Take good care of yourself. And if there's something you are dying to ask, I'm right here at christy@christybraun.com.

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Most of us were never taught how to be with death and Christy's voice is just what the (hospice) doctor ordered. Hosted by death doula and end-of-life educator Christy Braun M.S., this podcast pulls back the curtain on all things end-of-life: hospice & palliative care, caregiver fatigue, advance directives, and what actually happens as someone is dying. Every conversation is honest and grounded, with no spiritual bypassing. Whether you are caring for someone you love or carrying grief of your own, you belong here. If there's something you're dying to ask, reach out: christy@christybraun.com

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