Rose City Red Card

Alan and Marissa
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Soccer

The unfiltered Portland Thorns podcast. Marissa bleeds rose. Alan is from Seattle, which makes things interesting. Every episode: what actually happened in the Thorns' last match, what it means in the NWSL table, and at least one rant that goes too long. Adults only. Bring a drink.

  1. 1d ago

    September 22, 2026: We Weavered Our Way to 4

    Orlando 1-4 Portland. Four goals, four scorers. We're back after a week off. We both had some medical stuff to deal with. We start with the episode we never recorded: Portland 1-1 Chicago on the 13th, the draw that felt like a loss. Then Orlando. Nina Nijstad scored in the 3rd minute, her first NWSL goal, set up by Sophia Wilson. Wilson scored the penalty Caiya Hanks drew, her 11th career penalty, which passes Christine Sinclair's club record. Morgan Weaver scored from outside the box in the 74th, her first goal in 687 days after three knee surgeries, and Cassandra Bogere got her first NWSL assist on it. Renee Lyles came off the bench and scored in the 88th, Wilson assisting again. Wilson finished with a goal and two assists in her 100th regular-season game. Marissa's read: Portland took their foot off the gas after half an hour, let Orlando back in at 2-1, and then the subs took over. The next clean sheet is Portland's 100th shutout, and no NWSL club has ever reached 100. Houston at Providence Park is the next chance. Portland are fifth, level with Utah on points, and a top-four finish means a home playoff game. Plus Marissa's Match Week Roundup, a rain-soaked camera that made Chicago 0-3 Spirit close to unwatchable, and Val Loboa's stoppage-time winner against Nigeria that sent Colombia to the U-20 World Cup semifinals. Recorded at Pappy's on September 22, so the table and the shutout count are as of that night. Adults only. Bring a drink. CHAPTERS 00:00 Back after a week off, and the Chicago draw that felt like a loss 02:39 Orlando 1–4 Portland 05:58 Nina Nijstad's first NWSL goal, and the four goals 11:06 Portland's 100th shutout is still out there 12:20 Houston next, and the race with Utah for a home playoff game 16:08 Marissa's Match Week Roundup 20:00 Chicago 0–3 Spirit, and the camera that got rained on 24:35 Val Loboa sends Colombia to the U-20 World Cup semifinals 26:29 Thanks to Pappy's, and a hint about next week THE NUMBERS Goals: Nijstad 3', Wilson (penalty) 28', Weaver 74', Lyles 88'. Lemos 30' for Orlando. Shots: Orlando 19, Portland 17. On target, Portland 13 to 6. Attendance: 7,602 at Inter&Co Stadium. Wilson: a goal and two assists. 11 career penalties, one more than Sinclair. Table (at recording): Portland fifth on 42, level with Utah on points and goal difference. Utah are ahead on total wins, 13 to 12. Next: Portland v Houston, Saturday September 26, Providence Park.

  2. Sep 8

    September 7, 2026: Desperate Beats Tired

    Portland 1-2 Washington. The first home loss of the season, and the Spirit's first win in Portland ever. Portland had played ten at home this year and lost none of them. This was the eleventh. Washington came in missing seven players and won anyway. Sophia Wilson scored from the spot in the 18th, her tenth career penalty from ten attempts. Only one other player in NWSL history has done that. Tara Rudd equalized from the spot in the 59th, given after a video review. Melissa Bethi got the winner in the 80th, her first for the Spirit, set up by Trinity Rodman. Then the 68th minute. Rudd handled it in her own box and nothing was called. No whistle, no check. She was Washington's captain, she had been booked at 32', and she had scored the penalty nine minutes earlier. Marissa asked for the rules on it, so we went through Law 12 on air. The part that makes it worse: the VAR was working that night. It had already intervened to give Washington their penalty. Portland outshot Washington 17 to 10, and 7 to 5 on target, and lost. Alan's read is shorter than Marissa's. He texted her mid-match that Washington looked desperate and Portland looked tired, and desperate beats tired every time. Marissa was in the press box for this one. She has the room at 59' and at 80', a kid reporter who asked a better question than she did, and Hirschfeld on the touchline going "wow, it's loud." Also in it: Reilyn Turner available and not playing until Mueller came on for her at 63', Calzada keeping Rodman quiet right up until Rodman assisted the winner, deadline day, and Marissa's Match Week Roundup. Portland are sixth on 38. Three teams landed on 39 above them over the weekend. Chicago at home on the 13th. Adults only. Bring a drink. CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open: the first home loss of the year 03:25 The handball nobody called 09:44 Marissa at the ground 17:46 Turner, and what Mueller coming on showed 21:02 A guest ad read, and the healthiest roster of the year 27:52 Marissa's Match Week Roundup 36:42 What's next: Chicago at home THE NUMBERS Attendance: 19,065. Shots: Portland 17, Washington 10. On target 7 to 5. Possession 44.7%. Home record: 7-0-3 becomes 7-1-3. Goals conceded at home go from 5 to 7. Wilson: 10 for 10 on career penalties, second player in league history to do it. 12 goals this season. Table: Portland sixth on 38. North Carolina, Utah and San Diego all on 39. Next: Portland v Chicago, Saturday September 13, Providence Park.

  3. Aug 31

    August 30, 2026: One Point Is Better Than Zero

    Gotham 1-1 Portland. A point on the road at the team top of the table, and Portland had 26% of the ball to get it. Jaedyn Shaw scored in the 60th. She admitted afterwards it was meant to be a cross. It still chipped Mackenzie Arnold, who was off her line. Sophia Wilson equalized from the spot in the 75th, her eleventh of the season, after Pietra Tordin got her ankle stepped on inside the box and her shoe came off. Play carried on for two minutes before VAR looked at it. Marissa's argument is that this was the best the defense has looked all season, and that the reason is boring. Same four as the previous match. Vignola, Perry, Hiatt, Calzada, two games running. Familiarity, not signings. Her quote of the pod follows from it. She is not a sports analyst, she is drinking well vodka in a bucket hat at 2:45 on a Sunday, but it looks to her like Portland are trading some of their scary offense for that defense. The midfield sits instead of pressing. Sophia Wilson ends up alone on an island up top. Marissa will take the trade and points at Gotham grinding out 1-0 wins all year. Then the weekend happened. Portland went into it third. Utah beat Orlando on Saturday, Washington beat Bay FC on Sunday morning, and by the time we sat down the Thorns were fifth on 38. One point off fourth. Also in it: Jayden Perry as the best centerback on the team in her second pro season, Nina Nijstad taking people on one-v-one and picking up a booking for it, Tordin still one assist off the league record, and Marissa's Match Day Roundup. Five of the last eight are at Providence Park. Portland have not lost there all year. Adults only. Bring a drink. CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open: a point at the best team in the league 03:26 The defense, and why the reason is boring 09:10 The two goals 13:02 Vignola and Tordin, Perry, Nijstad 15:56 The table: third to fifth in one weekend 21:41 Marissa's Match Day Roundup 22:40 What are we drinking 25:27 What's next: five of the last eight at home WHAT WE WERE DRINKING Marissa: a shot of well vodka and a big cup of water. She was sent a list of suggestions and had the well vodka anyway. Alan: a Lagunitas IPA. He ordered every drink a listener recommended that the bar actually had, which came to none of them. THE NUMBERS Possession: Gotham 74%, Portland 26%. Portland still had the better of the shot count. Table: Portland fifth on 38, one point off fourth. Gotham top on 45. Tordin: 9 assists. The NWSL single-season record is 10, set by Tobin Heath for Portland in 2016 and equaled by Croix Bethune at the Washington Spirit in 2024. Next: Portland v Washington Spirit, Sunday September 6, 1pm, Providence Park.

  4. Aug 26

    August 24, 2026: Tobin Heath and 22,017 of Her Friends

    Portland 1-0 Denver Summit, and Tobin Heath retired as a Thorn in front of 22,017 people. She signed a one-day contract to do it. Sophia Wilson scored in the 44th, assisted by Jessie Fleming. It was her tenth of the season and the fourth time she has hit double digits in an NWSL season. Mackenzie Arnold got her seventh clean sheet. Marissa was in the building on a media credential and went to the post-match press conference. Alan watched on his phone because his seven-year-old had the TV. The bit we care about: we have been asking this club to fix the back line since Episode 6, the 5-1 at Utah. Rob Vilahamn's post-match quote describes a "big, honest meeting" the team held after that exact match, where they changed how they press and asked the back line to step. He has never heard of this show. He just started from the same night and got to the same place. Three wins since. Plus Tobin's whole career, the new Kaiser Permanente Performance Center in Hillsboro, a table check, and Marissa's Match Day Roundup. Adults only. Bring a drink. CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open, one nil on Tobin's night 02:03 The defense finally shows up 08:07 Denver's side of it 09:25 Tobin Heath night 12:30 From the press conference 14:47 What are we drinking 16:04 The Kaiser Permanente Performance Center 22:53 Where we sit in the table 23:53 Marissa's Match Day Roundup 27:12 What's next: Gotham, then the Spirit WHAT WE WERE DRINKING Marissa: Rose City well vodka, water back. Cheap, house pour, genuinely not bad. Alan: a Lagunitas IPA, chosen mainly so he was not drinking a Seattle beer. He concedes it is an Anheuser-Busch beer now anyway. THE NUMBERS Portland are third on 37 points, level with Washington and behind on goal difference. Gotham lead on 44. Tobin Heath's NWSL co-record is 10 single-season assists, set in Portland in 2016. Pietra Tordin went into Saturday on nine, one away, on Tobin Heath's night. She did not get it. The record stayed with Heath. Ann-Katrin Berger has ten clean sheets and just became the first NWSL keeper with 10+ in back-to-back seasons. NEXT Friday August 28 at Gotham. Sunday September 6 against Washington at home, a day game.

  5. Aug 17

    August 16, 2026: Hanks for Trying, Orlando

    Portland 2-1 Orlando. Caiya Hanks came off the season-ending injury list on Friday, came on in the 88th minute, and won it in the 96th — her first match back after fourteen months out with a torn ACL. We were in the building on media credentials for the first time. We got in late, we missed the ceremony, we sat in the press box, and Alan asked a question at the post-match press conference. Plus the two knees, a table check, Meghan Klingenberg's whole career, and a vote we need from you. Adults only. Bring a drink. 🌳 VOTE FOR BELLA BIXBY Bixby is the Thorns' nominee for the 2026 Lauren Holiday Impact Award. The overall winner's charity receives $50,000 from Nationwide. The NWSL Fan Impact Challenge is how fans back her nomination — one vote per device per day, through August 29 — and the fan-vote winner's charity gets an additional $10,000. Winner announced September 2. Her charity is Friends of Trees, Portland-based urban forestry. 👉 Vote here: https://g1j9uuaobs1.typeform.com/to/SWulrU2a CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open — Hanks wins it in the 96th 02:44 Getting in — credentials, the press box, and the people who fixed it 06:58 The question — our first credentialed press conference 08:15 What are we drinking 09:07 The Two Knees — Moultrie out, Hanks back 15:20 The match — a shaky half, then Providence Park 22:15 Table check — fourth on 34, ten to play 26:05 Bella Bixby — the vote we're asking you for 27:44 Get Klingy With It — Meghan Klingenberg, top to bottom 31:54 Next week — Tobin Heath night WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT • Caiya Hanks won it in the 96th minute of her first match back. She tore her ACL at Providence Park on June 15, 2025, was cleared off the season-ending injury list on Friday, came on in the 88th, and hit the winner from outside the box into the bottom corner. Assisted by M.A. Vignola. • The goals: Deyna Castellanos 58' (assisted by Pietra Tordin), Jacqueline Ovalle 63' for Orlando, Hanks 90+6'. Orlando's equaliser came off Mackenzie Arnold's own punched save and ricocheted in off Ovalle's knees. It is credited to Ovalle, with no own-goal notation. • Tordin's assist was her ninth of the season — one off the NWSL single-season record of 10, co-held by Tobin Heath (Portland, 2016) and Croix Bethune (Kansas City, 2024). She can tie it next Saturday, on Tobin Heath's night. • Perry and Obaze kept Barbra Banda quiet, which almost nobody manages. Nina Nijstad continues to impress in midfield. • Nijstad's substitution was concussion protocol, not a diagnosed concussion, after a collision with Jessie Fleming. Sarah Lowdon called it precautionary and declined a medical answer. • Olivia Moultrie is out for the season with a torn ACL in her right knee, announced August 11. She's 20, and it costs her the Concacaf W Championship as well as the rest of the year. • Robert Vilahamn was in the building, near the media room — but not on the touchline, and the club still hasn't said why. Sarah Lowdon was acting head coach. • Attendance: 19,106. • The run-in: 10 matches left, six at Providence Park, where Portland are unbeaten in 2026. • We were outside for the Klingenberg ceremony. Credential pickup ran long and we didn't get in until after kickoff. We're not going to describe something we didn't see — go watch the club's footage. We honoured her our own way in Get Klingy With It. NEXT WEEK Tobin Heath is honoured at Providence Park on Saturday, August 22 vs Denver Summit, signing a one-day contract to retire officially as a Portland Thorn. Lindsey Heaps returns as captain of the Summit, and Pietra Tordin can tie Heath's single-season assist record on Heath's own night. THANK YOU Alberto and Bryce, who got us in. LINKS Club recap: https://www.thorns.com/news Match highlights: https://www.thorns.com/video/video-u16zoavmfwm Post-match press conference: https://www.thorns.com/video/video-cw87eybowlu

  6. Aug 11

    August 10, 2026: The Most Anxiety Filled Win

    Boston Legacy 3, Portland Thorns 4. Portland went three up inside nine minutes and thirty-eight seconds. That is the fastest three goals in NWSL history, thirty-five seconds quicker than the record Portland set themselves in July 2022. They broke their own record and then spent the next hour nearly giving the game away. Marissa watched it from a bar in Las Vegas where the bartender would not let her touch the remote. By the eighty-second minute she had moved on to a third vodka for medical reasons. Pietra Tordin got her first career hat trick at twenty-two, the youngest a Thorn has ever managed one. The goalkeeper has an assist. The road drought is over after ninety-eight days. The coach got sent off in the fifty-eighth for kicking a dead ball away, and nobody had told us whether it stands. Also in here: the back line Marissa wants to talk about for seven straight bullet points, why beating a side that had scored nineteen goals in eighteen games is not the same as beating them well, and what fifth place actually buys you with eleven games left. Adults only. Bring a drink. Chapters: 00:00 Cold open, no remote in Vegas 01:40 The result: 3-0 in 9:38, then 4-3 09:16 Tordin's hat trick 18:30 The coach red card 21:25 What are you drinking 23:24 The defense 31:28 Ninety-eight days 35:28 The table 40:00 Look ahead: Orlando, Klingenberg night Takeaways: 3-0 in 9:38 is a new NWSL record for the quickest three goals, 35 seconds faster than the previous mark. Portland set that one too, in July 2022. They broke their own record and then nearly threw the game away. Pietra Tordin scored a hat trick at 22. Her first as a professional, and the youngest by a Thorn. She is on seven goals and eight assists, so fifteen goal contributions, not fifteen goals. Mackenzie Arnold, the goalkeeper, has an assist. She set up the hat-trick goal in the 37th. Boston had scored 19 goals in their first 18 games and put three past Portland. Marissa's read: Boston are not a bad team, but Portland made them look better than they are. The road drought is over after 98 days. The last away win was May 3 at Chicago, scored by Olivia Moultrie and Reilyn Turner. Neither was available on Sunday. Portland are fifth on 31 points, up from seventh, with 32 goals. That is joint-most in the league. The pressure is coming from below, not above. Robert Vilahamn was sent off in the 58th minute for kicking a dead ball away from play. At the time of recording the league had not announced whether it stands, and we say so rather than guessing. Next up: Orlando at home on Saturday August 15, Meghan Klingenberg night, with Tobin Heath honored on August 22. Rose City Red Card is Alan and Marissa on the Portland Thorns and the NWSL. https://rosecityredcard.com

  7. Aug 3

    August 2, 2026: F*ck a Six, We Need Center Backs

    Utah 5, Portland 1. We recorded two hours after the whistle, Marissa on a mic at her parents' place in Las Vegas, and the argument she has been making for five straight episodes died on air. All season it has been the hole Sam Coffey left at the six. Somewhere in the second half she texted Alan "we need center backs. f**k a 6," and most of this episode is her working out why she changed her mind and then defending the new version for twenty minutes. Portland scored inside the first minute and lost by four. Utah were playing their third game in eight days. Portland had been off for nine. Also in here: the back four that changes almost every week, why Marissa thinks Mackenzie Arnold is carrying blame that isn't hers, what the money is actually for, and why all of it comes back to Sophia Wilson's contract. Adults only. Bring a drink. Chapters: 00:00 Intro 00:14 Utah 5, Portland 1 — and it wasn't the road 02:47 Their third game in eight days, and we still fell apart 06:00 "F**k a six. We need centerbacks." 08:49 The new coach, and five goals 10:35 The FIFA share sale that got scrapped 11:03 The table: sixth, and it flatters us 12:34 Mackenzie Arnold, and a back line that changes every week 14:31 The money is there 18:00 The window, and Soph 21:51 It isn't Arnold's fault 24:39 Klingenberg honored, and Sonnett's season 27:54 Back at Providence Park on the 15th Takeaways: - Utah Royals 5-1 Portland Thorns, August 2, at America First Field. Sophia Wilson scored inside the first minute. Delzer got two, then Mozingo, Palacios, and a Kate Del Fava header from a corner on 89. Portland had conceded 20 in the previous 17 matches. - All season Marissa has said the problem is the hole Sam Coffey left at the six. Mid-match she texted Alan "we need center backs. f**k a 6." Most of this episode is her taking that apart. - Utah were playing their third match in eight days. Portland had nine days off and scored in the first minute. - The back four changes almost every week. Marissa puts Mackenzie Arnold's dip in form down to that rather than to the goalkeeper. - Portland are sixth on 28 points from 18, goal difference +3. They went into the night two behind Utah and came out five behind. North Carolina, Angel City and Seattle all sit below them with games in hand. - Sophia Wilson is a free agent after this season and still unsigned. The window shuts September 7. - Portland have the same salary cap as Gotham. The money, the facility and the ownership are all there. No center back has been signed. - Emily Sonnett ruptured her patellar tendon and is out for the season. - Meghan Klingenberg is honored at Providence Park on August 15, the first game the two of us watch together in the building. Next week is Boston away, our last remote recording. Then August 15, back in person.

  8. Jul 27

    July 26, 2026: Don't F*ck with Providence Park

    Portland 2, Gotham 2. A point against the league leaders, an eleventh straight home game unbeaten, and a club record — and none of it is the thing you remember. Emily Sonnett went down non-contact in the seventh minute and left Providence Park on a stretcher, and twenty-one thousand people in a building she doesn't play for anymore stood up for her. We open on that and we close on that, and we don't guess at a diagnosis in between. In the middle: Renee Lyles scoring and assisting in her first ever start, Morgan Weaver back on the pitch after a year and a half and three knee surgeries, and the salary-cap deep dive we've been promising for two episodes. Adults only. Bring a drink. Chapters: 00:00 Intro 00:14 Before anything else: Emily Sonnett 02:59 2-2, and 11 straight unbeaten at home 03:38 The game: Purce at two minutes, Lyles' chip, Kerr, and ten men 10:58 Morgan Weaver is back 14:34 What still needs work 20:36 The table: Utah leapfrog us 22:32 The transfer window: still no center back 24:07 The cap, the HIP rule, and how Gotham did it 29:29 Utah away, and one more for Sonnett Takeaways: - Portland 2, Gotham 2, at Providence Park. Midge Purce scored inside two minutes off a Reiten cross. Renee Lyles equalized on 21 with a chip over Ann-Katrin Berger — her first professional goal, in her first ever start, in her sixth appearance — assisted by Pietra Tordin. Jessie Fleming put Portland ahead on 53, deflected off Purce, assisted by Lyles. Sam Kerr levelled on 62 off a corner. - Emily Sonnett went off on a stretcher in the seventh minute, non-contact. No diagnosis has been published and we don't speculate on one. The whole building stood. - Eleven straight at home without a loss is a club record. Every league defeat this season has come on the road, and the next two are away. - Perry saw red on 72 as the last defender on Kerr. Marissa's read: nobody wants to call it a good foul, but it was the foul you make. - Renee Lyles got a goal and an assist in her first career start. Pietra Tordin leads the entire NWSL in assists with seven, and signed through 2029 last week. - Morgan Weaver is back after eighteen months and three surgeries on the same knee. Two standing ovations in one night — one for a player going off injured, one for a player coming back from it. - What still needs work: the goalkeeper talking to her back line, and a second minute that went missing. The midfield of Moultrie, Tordin and Fleming is not the problem. - Portland sit fifth on 28 points. Utah beat North Carolina and jumped us. Nothing on Sunday's card could move Portland either way — fifth is fifth. - Transfer window still open until September. Nina Nijstad in, Spaanstra sold to Utah, extensions signed, still no center back, and Sophia Wilson still unsigned. No news is treated as good news. - The cap and the HIP rule: Gotham's president of soccer operations has called the salary cap "a competitive weapon." Sam Kerr isn't even eligible for the high-impact-player rule the nickname suggests — what's actually moving is banked allocation money. The players' union filed a grievance in January over the rule being imposed without bargaining, and it hasn't been resolved. Angel City took a $200,000 fine and a three-point deduction for cap violations in 2024 — the points hurt, the money didn't. Both of us land on the same place: raise the cap. Next up: Utah away on August 2, and a proper segment on trans inclusion in women's sports. New episodes weekly. Yell back at us: rosecityredcard@gmail.com

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About

The unfiltered Portland Thorns podcast. Marissa bleeds rose. Alan is from Seattle, which makes things interesting. Every episode: what actually happened in the Thorns' last match, what it means in the NWSL table, and at least one rant that goes too long. Adults only. Bring a drink.

Information

  • Creator
    Alan and Marissa
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Rose City Red Card
  • Show Website
    Rose City Red Card

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