"To me, it's just a job"British adult performer and online content creator, Rob Makin is a straight man working in the gay male porn industry. He is also the winner of Channel 4’s social experiment "Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing", where he was partnered with Charlie Gray, who appeared on Biting Lemons earlier this season. Rob is a big guy with a big heart and a soft energy. After the bath experience with him, I had some conflicting feelings emerge. On the one hand, being in our studio’s bath with someone so much larger than me was overpowering, as I was so aware of how small I was. On the other, I felt almost comforted, like a child. At the same time, I felt protective over him. The industry in which he works is one that I find challenging to understand and fully accept. It’s undeniably obvious how easy it is for me to love Rob, as he is so open, vulnerable and strong in equal measure. Yet, I have to be true to myself as his listener and acknowledge that I found myself at a crossroads on several occasions during our conversation. I wanted to dig deeper and question some of the thoughts and beliefs that he shared. My impulse was to pull things apart more to understand what’s underneath. I chose, however, to remain in connection with him as I felt the layers within him that needed that more than a challenging time! It left me reflecting on the times when we need to save the deeper challenges with people around us to protect them and how tough sometimes that can be. Although, on reflection, I’m not sure whether this was the right decision, I do know that this is not a podcast that seeks to tear down someone and probe and poke. To this day, I don’t know if I should have asked more, as I have a lot of curiosity around the industry and the impact it has. I am coming away with a more convinced attitude that sex education needs a radical reform, that we need many more places where humans can experience, experiment, learn and grow in their sexuality safely and that I want to get more confident to challenge myself in the bath than I perhaps do currently. Rob was generous to meet me in that conversation and share some of his thoughts and experiences. I am very grateful that he opened up about the challenges of living and working with anxiety and ADHD, especially as a content creator, because this field of work does have a very strong impact on mental health. Living in the reality of that is vital and cannot be sugarcoated. Rob shares this openly, which is what I most admired about our time in this together. There are several occasions where I felt Rob contradicted himself, but I believe all human experience, if we are fully engaged, is a contradiction. On the one hand, we can be fully okay; on the other, we can be in the depths of despair. Both can be true at the same moment. I’ve learnt to live in this contradiction comfortably and so seeking that in others is where my heart is. Thank you, Rob, for opening us all up to a reality many of us will experience, without pretending like it doesn’t exist. It takes a brave human to share their authentic self and that’s where I want all of us to live. You can also watch our conversation with Charlie Gray, Rob’s partner on Channel 4’s Handcuffed here: https://youtu.be/NxxcsC0sqRU 👀 Watch this episode of Biting Lemons: https://youtu.be/iKsXCr0B-Ko 🍋 Follow Biting Lemons: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biting_lemons/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@biting.lemons Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bitinglemons Website: https://bitinglemons.com/ You can find Rob on:https://www.instagram.com/iamb1gr0b/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iambigrob93 https://www.facebook.com/iamb1gr0b Want to learn how to listen and connect with people from all walks of life like Beth does? You might have noticed us mentioning the ART Affiliate link. We highly recommend their training for everyone who wants to improve their communication and understanding of each other. The ART International courses are there to help you nourish your relationships and the world around you. It’s easy and accessible, online and in person, across the world. On behalf of this world, thank you for wanting to be better! Get a 5% discount on Level 1 ART courses. Use our code BL: https://authenticrelating.co/courses/level-1/artpartner/BethHardwick/
