The Unspoken Mindset

Joyce Conley-Hemmings
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Most leadership development teaches you what to do. This podcast is about who you have to become. The Unspoken Mindset of Leadership is a podcast for aspiring leaders, the ones who are hungry for real conversations, not polished corporate talking points. Hosted by Joyce Conley-Hemmings, school leadership strategist and author of The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership. Each episode goes into the internal shifts, invisible mental models, and mindset work that most leadership programs skip entirely. Whether you're stepping into your first leadership & management role, navigating the identity shift that comes with a new title, or leading a team and still wondering why no one warned you about this part, you've found your people. Through solo deep dives and long-form guest conversations, Joyce unpacks what it actually feels like to lead from the inside out: the self-doubt, the relationship rewiring, the quiet moments when you realize the rules have changed and you're the one who has to figure it out. Every episode leaves you with a mindset shift, not just a to-do list. New episodes drop every two weeks. Subscribe so you don't miss a conversation. Connect with Joyce: www.theunspokenmindset.com LinkedIn

  1. Oct 23

    Ep. 18: The Difference Between Available and Accessible

    SummaryRaise your hand if you answered a work email from your kitchen table last night, after the kids were in bed. Now ask yourself: did anyone actually need that answer before morning? In this solo episode, Joyce breaks down the difference between being available and being accessible, and why constant access quietly burns out new school leaders. She names the guilt that keeps leaders “on” around the clock, shares the First 45 routine she incorporated as a single mom and new assistant principal, and walks through how one assistant principal's 7 p.m. boundary changed the way his entire staff solved problems. Boundaries don’t mean you care less. They mean you care longer. What’s covered: Why constant availability feels like good leadership and quietly works against itHow the “quick reply” turns into an expectation, then a standard everyone holds you toThe guilt behind always being on, and the belief underneath itThe shift from self-reliance to system-buildingThree questions to find what shouldn’t be landing on your deskThe First 45: protecting your first 45 minutes for the most important non-urgent workHow Coach Reyes set a 7 p.m. cutoff and his staff started solving more on their ownWhy urgency in schools is often assumed, not requiredOne boundary to choose, hold, and share this weekBook tie-in: Chapter 4, The Availability vs. Accessible Boundary 📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Apply for New Leader Coaching with Joyce https://forms.gle/fLHsNVhkYnxL8TqXA Are you looking to strengthen your leadership development pipeline? www.theunspokenmindset.com/umla Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/ Keywordsschool leadership, new principal, assistant principal, principal burnout, educator burnout, school leader boundaries, work-life balance for principals, leadership boundaries, intentional availability, available vs accessible, delegation in schools, building systems, leadership capacity, decision fatigue, leader guilt, saying no, after-hours email, response time expectations, staff autonomy, sustainable leadership, leadership longevity, First 45, time management for principals, The Unspoken Mindset, Joyce Conley-Hemmings Key TopicsThe availability trapAvailable vs. accessibleLeader guilt and the belief behind itFrom self-reliance to system-buildingThe three delegation questionsThe First 45 routineSetting and holding an after-hours boundary (Coach Reyes)Assumed urgency vs. real urgencyChoosing one boundary and making it visible

  2. Oct 12

    Ep. 17: Friendly Is Sustainable, Friendship Blurs Judgment

    When your title changes, your relationships have to change too. Joyce Conley-Hemmings explains why being friendly builds trust and friendship can blur judgment. She covers how to relocate a relationship instead of ending it, and what to say when former peers test the boundary. Includes real scenarios and a reflection exercise from Chapter 3 of The Unspoken Mindset. What’s covered: Why leadership requires consistency, not distanceThe real difference between being friendly and being friendsHow boundaries relocate relationships instead of ending themEmpathy without emotional absorption, and how to avoid compassion fatigueWhat to say when a former colleague vents about leadership decisionsThree questions to ask before saying yes to a staff happy hourRenata’s story: a Christmas gift, a perception problem, and a simple fixWhy I don’t have favorite teachers. I have favorite classrooms.A reflection exercise to name one boundary you need to set this weekKeywords: school leadership, assistant principal, new principal, leadership boundaries, friendly vs friends, leading former peers, promoted from within, school administrator relationships, professional boundaries, leadership credibility, fairness in leadership, compassion fatigue, educational leadership podcast, leadership mindset, The Unspoken Mindset Key Topics Friendly vs. friends in school leadershipLeading former peers after a promotion from withinBoundaries relocate relationships, they don’t end themPerception, fairness, and leadership credibilityEmpathy without emotional absorptionHandling venting about leadership decisionsStaff social events: frequency and exclusivityRecognizing great classrooms, not favorite peopleBoundaries as an ongoing practice, not a one-time fix📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Apply for New Leader Coaching with Joyce https://forms.gle/fLHsNVhkYnxL8TqXA Are you looking to strengthen your leadership development pipeline? www.theunspokenmindset.com/umla Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/

  3. Sep 27

    Ep. 16: Do This Before You Decide

    It's the end of September. The honeymoon is over. The inbox never empties. And on the drive home, the thought you've been trying not to think finally says itself out loud: I don't think I'm cut out for this. I've been there. A year into my first assistant principal job, after years of working for that seat, I picked up the phone and asked my former principal if I could come back. I felt incompetent. I had decided I wasn't enough. This episode is for the new leader who is ready to quit. I'm not going to tell you to push through. I'm going to show you why a hard day is data, not a verdict, and give you four tools you can use tomorrow morning when you feel like you aren't built for this. Truth is, you are not behind. You are not a fraud. You are new. And new is allowed to be hard. Key TakeawaysWhy "I'm not cut out for this" is almost never about skillThe three things usually underneath it: exhaustion, a lack of clarity, and scorekeepingWhy you'd never write off a first-year teacher in September, and why you shouldn't write off yourself eitherFact or Feeling: separate the story from the facts, then rewrite the sentenceThe Receipts: three things you handled, every day, for two weeksThe Win Question: one question for your principal that clears up the expectations nobody said out loudThe Decision Date: don't make a permanent decision in a temporary seasonWhy leaving a role on purpose is a very different answer from quitting in the carKey TermsA hard day is data, not a verdictThe Readiness IllusionSurvival mode vs. sustainabilityBeing a beginner in publicScorekeepingFact or FeelingThe ReceiptsThe Win QuestionThe Decision DateKeywordsnew assistant principal wants to quit, first year assistant principal, first-time principal advice, school leader burnout, imposter syndrome school leadership, not cut out for leadership, readiness illusion, leadership mindset podcast, new school leader support, assistant principal first year struggles, teacher to administrator transition, going back to the classroom, school leadership coaching, survival mode vs sustainability, leadership self-doubt, educational leadership mindset, school leadership podcast, The Unspoken Mindset podcast, Joyce Conley-Hemmings 📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Apply for New Leader Coaching with Joyce https://forms.gle/fLHsNVhkYnxL8TqXA Are you looking to strengthen your leadership development pipeline? www.theunspokenmindset.com/umla Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/

  4. Sep 20

    Ep. 15: Motorcycle Mindset

    Description A few years ago, my guest said four words to me during my previous Collaboration Over Competition Live: "purpose over position." I've been waiting for the right moment to bring that conversation to you with a new mindset focus, and it turns out that moment is right after an episode about leading before the title ever shows up. This week I'm sitting down with Adasha Elmore, a current elementary school principal, for my next guest conversation on this show. Adasha leads from energy. People don't just follow her directives, they get pulled forward by her, and that's the kind of thing you can't put on an org chart. She's also a motorcycle rider, and once she told me how she reads the road, I couldn't unhear the leadership in it. So this episode rides two things at once. We talk about what it means to lead on purpose instead of on position, and what two wheels with no frame around you teach you about judgment, calm, and being seen, long before anyone hands you a title to match it. We get into what leading before the title actually looked like for Adasha before she had the office and the keys, why calm has to come before speed when the instinct is to gun it, and what she tells a teacher who's standing at the edge of her own on-ramp, scared to merge. If you've ever felt the pull between what your role asks of you and what you know you're actually here to do, this conversation is for you. Real talk: the title was never the thing giving you permission. Key Terms Purpose over position. Leading before the title. Motorcycle mindset. Calm is a strategy. Power of presence. Influence without a title. Keywords purpose over position, leading before the title, elementary school principal, motorcycle mindset, leadership without authority, influence without a title, guest interview school leadership, calm is a strategy, power of presence leadership, teacher leader mindset, assistant principal readiness, school leadership podcast, aspiring school leader, teacher to administrator transition, educational leadership mindset, informal leadership skills, leadership identity, Adasha Elmore, The Unspoken Mindset™ podcast, Joyce Conley-Hemmings, school leadership development 📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! Apply for New Leader Coaching with Joyce https://forms.gle/fLHsNVhkYnxL8TqXA Are you a district leader looking to strengthen your leadership development pipeline? www.theunspokenmindset.com/umla 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/

  5. Sep 13

    Ep. 14: Leading BEFORE the Title

    I spent years waiting for the seat before I let myself think like the person in it. Even after years in the classroom and years as a coach, I kept telling myself the mindset shift would happen once the title showed up. It cost me time I didn't need to lose. In this episode, I'm making the case that leadership doesn't work like a light switch. It works like a dimmer. It's already on, low, in how you interpret a problem, how you frame a hard conversation, how you respond when nobody has told you what to do yet. The mistake is thinking none of that counts until it's official. We get into the real difference between task-oriented thinking and systems thinking, why influence starts building before anyone hands you authority, and why restraint matters just as much as initiative when you're trying to lead without a title. I'll walk you through a real coaching story about a teacher I coached who changed how she showed up in one PLC meeting, and how that one shift changed the way her leadership team saw her, months before her title ever caught up. If you're still in the classroom, still coaching, still waiting for your first AP seat, this one's for you. If you're looking to step into your "What's Next"...give this episode a listen. Real talk: the wait is optional. The thinking isn't. What's covered: Why waiting for the title delays growth instead of protecting youThe shift from task-oriented thinking to systems thinking, and why it doesn't require a titleHow influence forms through judgment and presence, before authority is ever grantedThe restraint piece most leadership advice skips: knowing when to step forward and when to hold backA real coaching story: how one systems-level question in a PLC meeting changed how a teacher was seen, long before her title changedThis week's practice: one system-level question to ask out loud in a real meeting Keywords: leading before the title, teacher leader mindset, assistant principal readiness, systems thinking in education, leadership without authority, influence without a title, school leadership podcast, aspiring school leader, teacher to administrator transition, educational leadership mindset, AP interview readiness, instructional leadership growth, informal leadership skills, first year assistant principal, leadership identity, The Unspoken Mindset podcast, Joyce Conley-Hemmings, school leadership development 📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! Apply for New Leader Coaching with Joyce https://forms.gle/fLHsNVhkYnxL8TqXA Are you a district leader looking to strengthen your leadership development pipeline? www.theunspokenmindset.com/umla 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/

  6. Sep 6

    Ep. 13: Let Me Be Clear w/ Casey Watts

    For years, I straightened my hair before every observation, every interview, every moment I needed to look "professional." Nobody told me that had NOTHING to do with leadership. In this episode, I sit down with Casey Watts of Clear is the New Confident to unpack my Let Me Be Clear statement — training builds skills, mindset determines whether it becomes leadership — and why assistant principals carry one of the hardest, least-prepared-for roles in a school building. We get into the fix-it fallacy, unlearning the unwritten rules nobody hands you, the year I almost quit, and the moment curly hair stopped being a mindset problem. Show notes: My Let Me Be Clear statement: "Training builds skills. Mindset determines whether it becomes leadership."Why The Unspoken Mindset opens with a mindset inventory instead of a chapter 1 — and how that inventory changes depending on where you are in the school yearThe fix-it fallacy: why solving every problem for your staff isn't leadership, it's a habit I'm still unlearningRelationship boundaries — what it takes to lead people you used to teach alongsideWhy assistant principals are one of the most under-supported, under-trained roles in education, and what I wish someone had built for meThe year I almost quit as a new AP, and what I'd tell myself nowThe story behind going natural — why I stopped straightening my hair before big moments, and the little girl who told me my hair looked like hers Guest: Casey Watts, Podcast Host of Clear is the New Confident Find her work at www.catchingupwithcasey.com Keywords: assistant principal, aspiring administrator, school leadership, educational leadership mindset, The Unspoken Mindset™, women in school leadership, K-12 administration, instructional coach to administrator, leadership training vs mindset, new principal, fix-it fallacy, natural hair professionalism, confidence in leadership, education podcast, school leadership podcast, mentorship for assistant principals 📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/

  7. Aug 30

    Ep. 12: The "Work" That Never Ends

    Episode DescriptionIt's August — new leaders are stepping into new roles and returning leaders are staring down a new year. In this episode, Joyce Conley-Hemmings breaks down what actually keeps leaders growing for the long haul: not a 90-day plan, but a sustainable relationship with your own inner work. Drawing on her own experience in school administration, coaching, and building the Unspoken Mindset Leadership Academy (UMLA), Joyce lays out what "sustainable" really means — and why the leaders who last aren't the ones who had it figured out on day one. Key TakeawaysThe work is never "done." Sustainable growth isn't constant intensity. The inner work is a discipline, not a crisis response. You need people, not an audience. Protected practices make sustainability possible. Early investment compounds. Interior development is foundational, not optional. Notable Quotes"The work is not a destination. It is the orientation.""The investment you make in your own development right now compounds over the length of your career.""That is not time taken from the work. That is the work.""The leaders who last are not the ones who had it figured out at the beginning. They are the ones who developed a sustainable relationship with their own growth."Keywords sustainable leadership, leadership growth, inner work, new school leaders, new administrators, leadership mindset, school leadership, leadership development, UMLA, Unspoken Mindset Leadership Academy, leadership identity, leadership sustainability, protected practices, leadership coaching, district leadership development, new principal, new assistant principal, back to school leadership, leadership longevity, self-reflection for leaders📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/ Who This Episode Is ForNew and aspiring school administrators starting a role this year, returning leaders resetting for a new school year, and district-level decision-makers (principal supervisors, HR directors, superintendents) evaluating leadership development investment.

  8. Aug 23

    Ep. 11: The Courage to Be a Beginner Again

    In this episode of The Unspoken Mindset, Joyce Conley-Hemmings unpacks the hidden cost of expertise: the moment a leader steps into a new role, a new building, or a new level of responsibility, they're a beginner again — and the ones who fight that reality stall out. Drawing on her own experience of getting defensive around a new principal's different approach, Joyce breaks down why learning agility depends on a secure sense of identity, not on always having the answer, and why "the expert trap" quietly limits leaders who treat their past experience as gospel rather than data. She closes with a direct message to leaders stepping into new roles this August and a concrete practice for listening to someone with less experience without comparison or defense. Key Topics: Growth mindset, learning agility, humility, the beginner's mind, the expert trap, new leader onboarding Key Words: beginner's mind leadershiplearning agility for leadersgrowth mindset in leadershiphow to be a new leaderleadership humilitynew school leader mindsetthe expert trapfirst year assistant principalback to school leadership motivation 📖 The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership — available on Amazon  https://a.co/d/026ENlpo Head to 🌐 theunspokenmindset.com for resources and ways to work with me! Get in The Unspoken Mindset™ Circle before enrollment closes: https://joyceconleyhemmings.kit.com/products/themindsetcircle 💬 Join the Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DGUebJYmW/ Let's Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joycehemmings/

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Most leadership development teaches you what to do. This podcast is about who you have to become. The Unspoken Mindset of Leadership is a podcast for aspiring leaders, the ones who are hungry for real conversations, not polished corporate talking points. Hosted by Joyce Conley-Hemmings, school leadership strategist and author of The Unspoken Mindset: What No One Tells You About School Leadership. Each episode goes into the internal shifts, invisible mental models, and mindset work that most leadership programs skip entirely. Whether you're stepping into your first leadership & management role, navigating the identity shift that comes with a new title, or leading a team and still wondering why no one warned you about this part, you've found your people. Through solo deep dives and long-form guest conversations, Joyce unpacks what it actually feels like to lead from the inside out: the self-doubt, the relationship rewiring, the quiet moments when you realize the rules have changed and you're the one who has to figure it out. Every episode leaves you with a mindset shift, not just a to-do list. New episodes drop every two weeks. Subscribe so you don't miss a conversation. Connect with Joyce: www.theunspokenmindset.com LinkedIn

Information

  • Creator
    Joyce Conley-Hemmings
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Joyce Conley-Hemmings
  • Show Website
    The Unspoken Mindset