Sex, Secrets, & Sass

Angie Martin, LCPC and Krissy Johnson, LMFT
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Mental Health

A podcast about sex, secrets, relationships, double lives, betrayal, identity, the patriarchy, and the complicated reality of being a woman! No topic is too taboo. Just honest conversations, raw stories, hard truths, dark humor, and the stuff women are usually told to keep quiet about.

  1. 2d ago

    Who Gets to Define Virginity? Purity, Pleasure & Power Across Generations

    Virginity is not a medical diagnosis, a moral achievement, or a measure of someone’s worth. So why are girls still taught to treat it like all three? In this episode, Angie and Krissy sit down with Rachel, a senior and communication major at UC Santa Barbara, whose zine project examines virginity, women’s pleasure, patriarchy, and the moral weight society places on girls’ sexuality. Rachel shares how a college course on sex, love, and romance led her to bigger questions: Who created the rules around virginity? Why are women expected to “lose” something while men are praised for “taking” it? And why is a woman’s perceived purity still treated as evidence of her value? The conversation becomes deeply personal as Rachel discusses surviving sexual abuse in childhood and how that trauma shaped her relationship with intimacy. She explains how academic language helped her understand virginity as a social construct—not a verdict on her body, history, or worth. Angie and Krissy also reflect on their own first sexual experiences, religious messaging, consent, and the shame many women inherited before they were old enough to question it. Together, the three compare generational experiences of sex education—from silence and purity culture to classrooms where masturbation, pleasure, and power can finally be discussed out loud. And yes, they revisit the infamous purity-culture gum analogy—because apparently having sex once made a girl a piece of gum nobody else would want to chew. Charming. 🙄 In this episode, we talk about:Virginity as a social construct rather than a measure of worthWhy girls are taught to connect sexuality with purity and moralityThe double standard between women “losing” virginity and men “taking” itRachel’s zine on women’s pleasure, patriarchy, and sexual shameHow childhood sexual abuse can shape intimacy and self-perceptionFinding language that separates trauma from identityReligious messaging, consent, and shame around first sexual experiencesGenerational differences in sex education and conversations about pleasureWhy women are often doubted when challenging patriarchal narrativesFeminism, wedding traditions, and questioning the rules we inheritThe power of women supporting women across generationsYour sexual history is not a character reference. It does not determine whether you are pure, damaged, desirable, respectable, or worthy of love. Content note: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, religious shame, and first sexual experiences. About RachelRachel is a UC Santa Barbara senior and communication major whose zine explores virginity, patriarchy, women’s pleasure, and sexual shame. Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  2. Oct 7

    Kink Without Shame: Consent, Power & Pleasure with Goddess Hecate

    Let’s start here: having a fantasy does not make you a bad person. What matters is how you explore it and whether everyone involved is informed, consenting, and genuinely on board. In this episode, Angie and Krissy sit down with Goddess Hecate, a professional switch and fetish content creator, for an honest, funny, and uncensored conversation about BDSM, polyamory, sex work, pleasure, and building a life that actually feels authentic. Hecate explains what it means to be a switch - someone who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles - and how professional BDSM differs from lifestyle kink. She also takes listeners inside the structured world of Sanctuary LAX, where clear boundaries, communication, and consent shape every professional session. Raised in a strict Christian environment, Goddess Hecate moved through monogamy, motherhood, postpartum depression, atheism, polyamory, kink, and witchcraft as she began questioning the beliefs and rules she had inherited. She also shares how ketamine therapy became a turning point in her recovery and opened the door to major life changes. The conversation explores how desire sometimes speaks through the body before we have language for it. For Goddess Hecate, tattoos, piercings, intense sensations, and curiosity offered early clues about interests she didn’t yet know how to name. And yes, they talk about sadism, masochism, power exchange, lactation kink, content creation, and why pretending to enjoy something for money is not the same as building work around genuine interest. In this episode, we talk about:What it means to be a professional switchThe difference between professional BDSM and lifestyle kinkHow structured dungeon settings support safety and clear boundariesConsent, negotiation, power exchange, sadism, and masochismRecognizing desires before having words for themHecate’s path from Christianity and monogamy to polyamory, kink, and witchcraftCreating fetish content rooted in genuine interest and pleasureExploring new kinks without abandoning your boundariesFinding supportive communities where curiosity is welcomedWhy fantasy alone does not make anyone dangerous, broken, or badYou do not have to act on every fantasy. But you are allowed to become curious about what it means and whether there is a safe, consensual way to explore it with other adults. About Goddess HecateGoddess Hecate is a professional switch and fetish content creator. Her approach centers consent, communication, authenticity, and helping adults explore power, sensation, and fantasy without shame. Connect with Goddess HecateWebsite: goddesshecate.com Instagram: @goddesshecatereigns LoyalFans: @hecatereigns X/Twitter: @hecatereigns Connect with your hostsKrissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  3. Sep 30

    Who Are We Now? Illness, Intimacy & Body Trust with Sara Champie, LCSW

    A diagnosis - or even the possibility of one - can divide life into a before and an after. It doesn’t just change a medical chart. It can change how you relate to your body, your identity, your sexuality, your partner, and the future you thought you understood. In this episode, Angie and Krissy sit down with NARM Master Therapist Sara Champie, LCSW, for a deeply personal conversation about developmental trauma, hereditary cancer risk, and staying connected to yourself when your body changes the entire damn map. Sara shares her experience of losing her mother to ovarian cancer at age 10, receiving her own BRCA1-positive genetic results by mail with little support, and living for years with elevated cancer risk. She also opens up about choosing a prophylactic double mastectomy—on her timeline and according to her values, rather than being rushed into someone else’s plan. Together, they explore what serious illness can awaken: old survival strategies, guilt about burdening others, the reflex to caretake everyone else, and the pressure for women to remain healthy, attractive, capable, and “whole.” They also talk honestly about intimacy after illness and surgery - including body image, dissociation, scars, hormonal changes, surgical menopause, and reconnecting with a body that may no longer feel familiar. At the center of it all is one powerful question: Who are we now? Not who were we before the diagnosis, surgery, or loss - but who are we today, and what do we need now? In this episode, we talk about:How illness can reactivate childhood survival strategiesThe “woman who holds everything together” and the cost of caretakingGuilt, self-blame, and believing you should have known something was wrongSara’s experience with childhood loss, BRCA1, and hereditary cancer riskMaking medical decisions at your own pace and from your own valuesCultural messages about health, femininity, aging, and being “whole”Body image, hormones, and sexual connection after treatmentReconnecting with a changed body through curiosity and compassionTrusting yourself as part of informed medical decision-makingAbout Sara ChampieSara Champie, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and NARM Master Therapist specializing in developmental trauma, grief, cancer, hereditary genetic risk, and life-altering medical decisions. She also hosts Walking the Genetic Line, a podcast exploring hereditary cancer risk, trauma, identity, and healing. Connect with Sara:Website: sarachampielcsw.com Instagram: @sarachampielcsw Podcast: Walking the Genetic Line Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  4. Sep 23

    Childfree by Choice: Who Gets to Define Womanhood?

    Apparently, being a woman comes with a preassigned life plan: want babies, become a mother, change your last name, absorb most of the invisible labor, and eventually answer to “Grandma.” Angie and Krissy would like a word. 😂 In this episode, they get honest about motherhood, choosing to be childfree, and the deeply annoying assumption that every woman either wants children or will eventually “change her mind.” Krissy shares that she knew from a young age she didn’t want children - partly because she watched how hard her mother worked as a single parent. She also talks about being told she wasn’t maternal, as though not wanting to raise children means being incapable of nurturing anyone. Over time, she recognized that her own nurturing instincts show up through her clients, relationships, and the dogs who absolutely became her babies. Angie offers a different perspective: she always wanted motherhood, loved pregnancy, and embraced staying home with her children. Together, they make room for both truths - because feminism isn’t about deciding which life women should want. It’s about women getting to decide for themselves. Then the conversation takes a very on-brand detour: Why is there a familiar word for male sexual vigor - “virile” - but no commonly used female equivalent? Why does language give men potency and women…“womanliness”? Seriously?!? From there, they dig into the expectations women inherit around names, marriage, family roles, caregiving, and the invisible work of remembering and organizing everyone’s lives. They even tackle the very serious question of why Krissy will be called Kiki and Angie plans to be Gigi - because neither one is answering to Grandma, thank you very much. In this episode, we talk about:Knowing you don’t want children - and being told you’ll change your mindThe difference between wanting motherhood and having nurturing instinctsWhy childfree women are often assumed to dislike childrenMaking room for both the freedom and the occasional grief of the road not takenAngie’s experience of wanting and embracing motherhoodWhy feminism must include the freedom to choose either pathThe missing female equivalent of “virile”What language reveals about attitudes toward female desire and powerThe identity shift and emotional weight of changing your last nameThe invisible labor women often absorb in marriage and family lifeRejecting titles, roles, and traditions that don’t fit Whether you became a mother, chose not to, couldn’t, are still deciding, or built a nurturing life that doesn’t fit neatly into any category, your womanhood was never supposed to depend on checking the right boxes. Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  5. Sep 16

    Why Women Cheat: It’s Not Just About Sex

    Let’s get one thing out of the way: understanding why someone cheats is not the same as saying nobody gets hurt - or that anything goes. But reducing every affair to “a bad person did a bad thing” is lazy, and it leaves out nearly everything worth understanding. In this episode, Angie and Krissy take on infidelity through a sex-positive, nonjudgmental lens. They explore why women have affairs, how two people can have completely different definitions of cheating, and what secrecy may be trying to provide when someone feels unseen, unwanted, disconnected, or obligated in their primary relationship. They also revisit the internet’s very calm and rational response (LOL 😂) to the suggestion that women may want sex as much as men. Because having sexual desire is not the same thing as wanting sex with your current partner. Desire can disappear inside a relationship where someone feels emotionally neglected, pressured, resentful, unsafe, or reduced to a role. Krissy shares her own experience of an emotional affair that began with flirtation and validation during a relationship in which she felt unattractive and sexually disconnected. Angie brings in patterns she hears from women who describe affairs not simply as sexual escape, but as a response to feeling chronically unseen, unheard, or obligated. None of that erases the hurt caused by betrayal. But shame and labels rarely tell us why something happened, and without understanding the why, real repair is pretty damn difficult. In this episode, we talk about:Why wanting sex is not the same as wanting sex with your current partnerWhat actually “counts” as cheating: sex, kissing, texting, secrecy, or emotional connection?Why couples should define infidelity before they are in the middle of a crisisEmotional neglect, resentment, desire, validation, and other motives behind affairsKrissy’s personal experience with an emotional affairHow cheating can function as self-soothing, escape, or compulsive comfort-seekingWhy women are often judged more harshly than men for the same behaviorThe difference between understanding infidelity and excusing itWhy curiosity creates more possibility for repair than shameThe importance of having somewhere safe to tell the whole truth If infidelity is part of your story - whether you cheated, were betrayed, or are still trying to decide what happened - you deserve a place where you can talk about it honestly without being reduced to the worst thing you’ve ever done. Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  6. Sep 9

    Your Sex Life Doesn’t Have to Be Stagnant with Amy Henderson

    What if talking about sex didn’t require awkward euphemisms, blushing, or waiting until your relationship was already in trouble? This week, Angie and Krissy are joined by therapist Amy Henderson for an open, funny, and very personal conversation about sex, intimacy, consent, and all the shame-filled messages many of us absorbed long before we were old enough to question them. Amy shares how she begins conversations about sex with teenage clients, why adults often say “intimacy” when they really mean sex, and how that one word can mean completely different things to two people in the same relationship. For one partner, intimacy may mean intercourse. For the other, it may mean emotional connection, affection, or—God forbid—helping with the dishes. The conversation gets personal as Amy reflects on growing up in a sex-taboo household, her first sexual experiences with the man who became her husband, and later recognizing her attraction to women. Angie and Krissy join in with stories about shame, masturbation, first orgasms, and learning far later than anyone should have to what the hell was happening in their own bodies. They also explore consensual non-monogamy, threesomes, kink, and why exploration can be healthy when everyone involved feels informed, safe, and genuinely on board. Because there is no single “right” way to have sex—but consent is never optional. In this episode, we talk about:Why therapists should talk openly with teens about sex, consent, sexuality, and safetyThe very different meanings couples attach to the word “intimacy”How childhood and cultural messages create sexual shameAmy’s experience of recognizing her bisexuality later in lifeNavigating attraction and curiosity within a monogamous marriageWhy consent and emotional safety come before explorationNormalizing non-monogamy, threesomes, kink, and sexual curiosityUsing a yes/no/maybe list to start conversations without pressureTalking about pleasure both inside and outside the bedroomWhy your sex life does not have to become stagnantThe wildly different ways masturbation is discussed with boys and girlsWhy couples who can talk about sex can usually talk about almost anythingAbout Amy Henderson:Amy Henderson, MA, LCPC, CTRT/C, is a therapist who works with teens, adults, couples, and families. She believes sex belongs in the therapy room when it matters—and that honest, shame-free conversations about consent, intimacy, identity, and pleasure can help people create safer and more connected relationships. Henderson Counseling Website: hendersoncounseling.org Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  7. Sep 2

    Stop Romanticizing Chaos: Dating, Parts Work & Better Sex with Karina Breezer

    What happens when you’ve done enough work on yourself to recognize the red flags - yet dating somehow remains a complete shitshow? This week, Angie and Krissy are joined by therapist Karina Breezer for a funny, honest, and surprisingly deep conversation about dating in your 40s, becoming more fully yourself, and finally retiring the belief that intensity automatically equals connection. Karina shares one spectacularly bad first date that inspired a whole new set of screening questions - including whether someone has been to jail and whether they actually pay their child support. Because apparently, these are things we need to ask now. But the conversation goes far beyond dating disasters. The three dig into the “knots” created by trauma, family messages, cultural expectations, and past relationships - and how those knots shape what we tolerate, who we choose, and the stories we tell ourselves about love. They also talk about younger parts showing up during sex and intimacy, what a genuinely safe partner can hold, and why better sex starts with being present, authentic, and responsible for your own pleasure. Because you are, in fact, in charge of your own orgasm. In this episode, we talk about:Dating in your 40s - and the red flags that become harder to unseeWhy loneliness can make us explain away behavior we know is not okayKarina’s “shit moment” timeline and how old experiences shape present-day beliefsGrowing into who you’ve always been underneath the roles, rules, and expectationsWhy younger and protective parts can surface during intimacyWhy being happily single beats being miserable in a relationshipAbout Karina BreezerKarina Breezer, LCPC, CFRS, CCE, is the founder of Breezer Counseling & Wellness, which serves individuals, families, and professionals throughout Illinois. Her work includes relationships, trauma, divorce, family conflict, reunification therapy, and complex relational systems - all delivered with clinical depth and refreshingly little therapist stiffness. She is also the creator of The Plot Twist, a monthly curated experience for mothers navigating divorce, featuring expert speakers, thoughtfully selected books, community, and support through one of life’s biggest transitions. Connect with Karina:Breezer Counseling & Wellness Website: breezercounselingandwellness.com Instagram: @breezercounselingwellness Learn more about The Plot Twist Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

  8. Aug 26

    Women, Infidelity & the Lies We’ve Been Told About Desire

    What if a whole lot of what we’ve been taught about women, sex, monogamy, jealousy, and desire is… well… b******t? This week, we’re diving into Wednesday Martin’s Untrue and using it as a jumping-off point for a very Gen Sexers conversation about women’s sexuality, infidelity, shame, compersion, cultural double standards, and the stories we’ve inherited about what women are supposed to want. We talk about whether women really cheat less than men, the difference between fantasy and actually watching your partner with someone else, why women are often judged so differently for infidelity, and whether jealousy is always the inevitable response we assume it is. We also get into some fascinating research around female sexual responsiveness, the impact of motherhood and mental load on desire, and how culture shapes everything from sex education to how comfortable we are with pleasure, nudity, and our own bodies. And yes, somehow this conversation also takes us through hunter-gatherers, the agricultural revolution, bonobos, and BDSM dungeons. Basically, it’s a normal episode. 😂 In this episode, we talk about:Wednesday Martin’s argument that women who step outside traditional monogamy may be challenging much bigger cultural rules about autonomy and female sexualityWhy the “men cheat, women don’t” narrative may be far shakier than we’ve been taughtFantasy versus reality when it comes to non-monogamy, watching a partner with someone else, jealousy, and turn-onsCompersion, or experiencing pleasure from seeing your partner experience pleasureThe shame and secrecy that can surround women’s affairsWhy women and men are still judged very differently for the exact same sexual behaviorWhere some of our ideas about gender roles may have come from historicallyWhy the belief that men naturally have higher sex drives deserves a serious side-eyeResearch suggesting women’s arousal may be broader and less category-specific than we tend to assumeBonobos, female-led sexuality, and what our primate cousins might have to teach usHow culture, upbringing, and sex education influence what we label “normal”Motherhood, exhaustion, responsibility, and the very real effect they can have on desire This is one of those conversations that starts with a book and ends up questioning a whole bunch of assumptions most of us were handed without ever agreeing to them. Come get curious with us. Connect with your hosts:Krissy Johnson, LMFT In The Life Therapy Instagram: @inthelifetherapy Website: inthelifetherapy.com Angie Martin, LCPC, LMHC New Approach Mental Health Instagram: @newapproachmentalhealth Website: newapproachmentalhealth.com Follow Sex, Secrets, & SassIf you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex, Secrets, & Sass wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss what’s coming next. And if something in this conversation made you laugh, think, squirm a little, or text your best friend immediately, we’d love it if you’d rate, review, and share the show. It helps more people find us and keeps these conversations going.

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

A podcast about sex, secrets, relationships, double lives, betrayal, identity, the patriarchy, and the complicated reality of being a woman! No topic is too taboo. Just honest conversations, raw stories, hard truths, dark humor, and the stuff women are usually told to keep quiet about.

Information

  • Creator
    Angie Martin, LCPC and Krissy Johnson, LMFT
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Angie Martin, LCPC and Krissy Johnson, LMFT

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