The Hard-Boiled Poker Radio Show

Short-Stacked Shamus

Old time radio shows & other storytellersbringing you tales about poker and/or gambling.

  1. 08/16/2013

    Episode 21: Lucille Ball

    It seemed unlikely, I know, that there’d ever be another post here. I’m sure everyone thought the Hard-Boiled Poker Radio Show had gone the way of so many other poker podcasts over the last several years, never to be heard from again. But like a runner-runner straight unexpectedly coming to save your tourney life, the show goes on! Show notes for Episode 21: This episode highlights the great comic actress Lucille Ball, star of film, radio, and television. Also given some attention in this one, of course, is Desi Arnaz, Ball’s husband of twenty years and I Love Lucy co-star. “Strip Polka” by the Andrews Sisters, music and lyrics by Johnny Mercer There’s a burlesque theatre where the gang loves to go
To see Queenie the cutie of the burlesque show
And the thrill of the evening is when out Queenie skips
 And the band plays the polka while she strips.

 “Take it off, take it off,” cries a voice from the rear.
“Take it off, take it off.” Soon it’s all you can hear.But she's always a lady even in pantomime
So she stops! And always just in time.

 She’s as fresh and as wholesome as the flowers in May
And she hopes to retire to the farm someday.
But you can’t buy a farm until you’re up in the chips
 So the band plays the polka while she strips.
 “Take it off, take it off,” all the customers shout.
“Down in front, down in front,” while the band beats it out.
 But she’s always a lady even in pantomime
So she stops! And always just in time.

 Queenie, queen of them all.
Queenie, someday you’ll fall.
Someday church bells will chime
In strip polka time.

 Oh! She hates corny waltzes and she hates the gavotte
And there’s one big advantage if the music’s hot.
It’s a fast moving exit just in case something rips
So the band plays the polka while she strips.

 Drop around, take it in, it’s the best in the west.“Take it off, take it off, take it off, take it off” -- yell like the rest.
Take her out when it’s over, she’s a peach when she's dressed
But she stops! And always just in time.

 Queenie, queen of them all.
Queenie, someday you’ll fall -- ouch!
 Someday the church bells, the ol' church bells will chime
In strip polka time. “Be a Pal,” My Favorite Husband, June 18, 1950 This show ran from 1948-1951 on the CBS Radio network, a comedy starring Ball and Richard Denning as Liz and George Cugat (later Cooper). The show provided inspiration for Ball’s landmark TV series I Love Lucy (1951-1957). As I explain, this particular episode was a reworking of an earlier one on the radio show (assigned the title “Be Your Husband’s Best Friend”) while also providing the basis for one of the first I Love Lucy episodes (see below). There were 124 episodes altogether, many of which are available over at the Internet Archive. Along with Ball and Denning, Gale Gordon and Bea Benaderet appear as the Atterburys, with Ruth Perrott as Katy, the maid. Jess Oppenheimer produced and directed the episode, and he also co-wrote the script with Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr. Marlin Skiles composed the music, with Wilbur Hatch conducting. “Be a Pal,” I Love Lucy, October 22, 1951 At the end I play a couple of audio excerpts from the second ever episode of I Love Lucy, one that borrowed the plot and many lines from the earlier radio show. Any feedback on the show is welcome, as are suggestions for further episodes. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take as long for me to get to Episode 22. Download.

  2. 12/14/2009

    Episode 20: Mel Blanc

    Show notes for Episode 20: This episode focuses primarily on the great actor, singer, comedian, and “man of 1,000 voices” Mel Blanc. “Money” by Mel Blanc, music and lyrics by Stan Freberg and Ruby Raskin. Don’t want no lovin’, don’t want no kissin’, Don’t want no gal to call me honey. Don’t want my name in the Hall of Fame, Just want a big fat pile of money. Give me that all mighty dollar, for that lettuce hear me holler. Give me buckets full of ducats, let me walk around and waller In Mazuma, el dinero, wanna be a millionaro. Give me money, money, money, money, money. I want that green ammunition, that’s the stuff for which I’m wishin’. Fill my closets with deposits, I’m a demon at addition. Give me sheckels, give me pesos, let me see their smiling face-os, Money, money, money, money, money. I wanna get me a suit that’s made out of loot And whistle the wearing of the green. I’ve got that monetary-itis, like to be just like King Midas, Want that golden touch is what I mean. Give me that old double eagle, want that tender that is legal, And financially substantially any sum I can inveigle. Wanna live in regal splendor, with that lovin’ legal tender, Give me money, money, money, money, money. I’m a greenback collector, I’m a paper bill inspector, I’m a savage for that cabbage, man, to me it’s golden nectar. Pour that filthy lucre on me, spread those lovin’ germs upon me, Give me money, money, money, money, money. Just let me roll ’round upon it, stuff those bank rags in my bonnet, Any kind just so some president has got his picture on it. Let me feel it, let me hold it, let me sit there and fold it, Give me money, money, money. I wanna car load of cash, the kind I can stash A vat full of vo-do-de-oh-dough. You know your banker never lets it matter whereabouts you gets it. Has you got it, boy? That’s all he wants to know. Give me treasure I can measure, ’cause that’s my idea of pleasure, Give me wampum, guilder, Jesus, let me count it at my leisure, Let me live in regal splendor with that lovin’ legal tender, Give me money, money, money, money! And if they ever plant trees of E Pluribus Unum, I wanna be the guy that they send out to prune ’em! Money, money, money, money, money! “Bonanza Bunny” (1959) and “Barbary-Coast Bunny” (1956) I talk a little bit about a couple of old Bugs Bunny cartoons in which our favorite rabbit finds himself playing cards during the 19th-century gold rush. Included in there is a hand of blackjack in which Bugs defeats his opponent after standing on just one card! “The Postman’s Ball,” The Mel Blanc Show, October 15, 1946 Not hard to find episodes of this one on the intertubes. Here is a site where you can listen to just about all of them streaming on the web, and here is another where you can download most as .mp3 files. This particular episode stars Mel Blanc, Mary Jane Croft, Earle Ross, and Joseph Kearns. The music is by Victor Miller and His Orchestra, and Bud Hiestand is the announcer. Read more about Mel Blanc’s long, varied career over on Wikipedia. As I mentioned before, the show will soon be syndicated over on the Poker Radio Network, which from what I hear should be up and running fairly soon. Stay tuned! Download.

  3. 10/19/2009

    Episode 19: Ace of Spades

    Show notes for Episode 19: “The Opposite of a Peace Sign” by James McManus, an excerpt from his book Cowboys Full: The Story of Poker (2009). I start the show with an excerpt from one of the later chapters in the new history of poker by James McManus (Positively Fifth Street). The chapter originally appeared as a column in the June 10, 2008 issue of Card Player magazine. This passage comes amid a discussion by McManus of some of the associations made over the years with the ace of spades. In particular, this excerpt focuses on how the card was “played” (so to speak) during the Vietnam Conflict. “Ace of Spades” by Motörhead (1980) Could not possibly have an episode with this title and not pay homage to Lemmy and his mates, could we? The lyrics: If you want to gamble, I tell you I’m your man. You win some, lose some -- it’s all the same to me. The pleasure is to play, it makes no difference what you say. I don’t share your greed, the only card I need is The ace of spades, the ace of spades. Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil, Going with the flow -- it’s all a game to me. Seven or eleven, snake eyes watching you. Double up or quit, double stakes or splits, The ace of spades, the ace of spades. You know I’m born to lose, and gambling’s for fools, But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t wanna live forever. And don’t forget the joker! Pushing up the ante, I know you’ve got to see me, Read ’em and weep -- the dead man’s hand again. I see it in your eyes, take one look and die. The only thing you see, you know it’s gonna be The ace of spades, the ace of spades. “Fatal Ace of Spades,” Nick Harris Detective, July 15, 1938 There is not a lot of information out there regarding this show. Here is the cast as best as I can make out from their listing at the end of the episode: The episode starred Betty Carmine, Olive Thomas, Jack Coster, Thomas Melba, Eddie Bryan, Malcolm Belairs, Robert Moore, Aldine Brennamen, and George Conkling. Eric Laurens was the announcer, with Nicholas B. Harris appearing as well. The script was written by Ralph Brookhart, and the show was directed and produced by Carolyn Carol. Anyone with more info about Nick Harris Detective, please feel free to send it along. Also, anyone with suggestions or ideas for future shows, do either leave those here in a comment or contact me via email at shamus at hardboiledpoker dot com. In other news, I mentioned at the end of this episode plans to have the show syndicated over on a new internet streaming station called the Poker Radio Network, currently set to launch in early December. More to come on that. Download.

  4. 08/31/2009

    Episode 18: Gun Shy Gambler

    Show notes for Episode 18: “Counting Beans” by John Fox, an excerpt from his book Play Poker, Quit Work and Sleep Till Noon! (1977) I read a short selection from the entertaining and informative strategy text by John Fox, a book that preceded both Doyle Brunson’s Super/System and Mike Caro’s Book of Tells. Click here to read my Hard-Boiled Poker post in which I discuss the book further. In the excerpt, Fox tells a story of how he devised a system for keeping track of statistical data at the poker table -- and how all of his careful planning was nearly spoiled in dramatic, humorous fashion. “Gun Shy Gambler,” The Lone Ranger, November 15, 1944 Starring Brace Beamer (The Lone Ranger) and John Todd (Tonto). Directed by Charles D. Livingstone. Here is the Wikipedia entry on the Lone Ranger, which includes the story of the long-running radio show. Sites with many of the episodes are available all over the web -- here is one with nearly 1,000 episodes of the show. Download.

  5. 07/25/2009

    Episode 17: Jack of Clubs

    Show notes for Episode 17: “Turn the Cards Slowly” by Patsy Cline; written by Sammy Masters (1955) Turn the cards slowly while you’re dealin’, darlin’. Please don’t double-deal to win my heart. Turn the cards slowly while you're dealin’, darlin’. Don’t go breakin’ rules right from the start. The ramblin’ gamblin’ reckless way you treat my heart’s a sin. Each night down on my knees I pray your gamblin’ ways will end. Turn the cards slowly while you’re dealin’, darlin’. And if you stack the deck, then I’ll move on. “House of Cards Worth $220,000” by Pat Putnam, from Sports Illustrated, May 31, 1976 issue I read excerpts from an article about the 1976 World Series of Poker Main Event. You can access the full article online in the Sports Illustrated “vault” -- an archive of all SI articles -- by clicking here. “Jack of Clubs,” Pat Novak, for Hire, February 20, 1949. Starring Jack Webb (Pat Novak), Raymond Burr (Police Inspector Hellman), Tudor Owen (Jocko Madigan), Betty Lou Gierson, Victor Perrin, Ted de Corsia, and Herb Butterfield. Music by Basil Adlam. Produced and directed by William Rousseau. Announced by George Fenneman. Download.

  6. 06/03/2009

    Episode 16: Burns and Allen

    Show notes for Episode 16: Most of this episode is taken up with the main feature. By the way, it appears whatever problems I was having before with iTunes have been resolved, so the episodes should all be appearing over there as before. Enjoy! “The Poker Game,” The Burns and Allen Show (originally aired March 7, 1944) Starring George Burns, Gracie Allen, and Jimmy Cash. Guest star Alan Ladd. Music by Felix Mills and His Orchestra. Announcer: Bill Goodwin. Here is a website with about 40 more episodes of The Burns and Allen Show. And here is the Wikipedia entry on the comedic couple. Download.

  7. 05/01/2009

    Episode 15: The Lacework Kid

    Show notes for Episode 15: “Deal” by the Grateful Dead Starting off with a song this time. Although I fail to mention it on the show, I want here to give a tip of the fedora to our buddy Dr. Pauly, who actually had something to do with this one turning up here. Here are the Dead performing the song at the Boston Garden on May 7, 1977. The tune appears in numerous places throughout the Dead’s vast discography, the first time (I believe) on the 1981 double-LP Dead Set. Here are the lyrics: Since it costs a lot to win, and even more to lose, You and me bound to spend some time wonderin’ what to choose. Goes to show, you don’t ever know, Watch each card you play and play it slow, Wait until that deal come round, Don’t you let that deal go down, no, no. I been gamblin’ hereabouts for ten good solid years, If I told you all that went down it would burn off both of your ears. Goes to show you don’t ever know Watch each card you play and play it slow, Wait until that deal come round, Don’t you let that deal go down, no, no. Since you poured the wine for me and tightened up my shoes, I hate to leave you sittin’ there, composin’ lonesome blues. Goes to show you don’t ever know Watch each card you play and play it slow, Wait until that deal come round, don’t you let that deal go down, no, no. Wait until that deal come round, don’t you let that deal go down, Wait until that deal come round, don’t you let that deal go down, Don’t you let that deal go down, don’t you let that deal go down. Big Deal (1990) by Anthony Holden I read an excerpt from British writer Anthony Holden’s excellent nonfiction narrative recounting his year-long attempt to become a professional poker player. In the excerpt, Holden offers some thoughts about that old “poker is like life” analogy that I’ve been known to complain about from time to time on my blog. I think Holden does a nice job with the idea here, though, as he memorably outlines some of the reasons why poker fascinates us so. One of a Kind: The Rise and Fall of Stuey “the Kid” Ungar (2006) by Nolan Dalla and Peter Alson One more short excerpt, this time from the biography of three-time World Series of Poker champ Stu Ungar. This one I read mainly as a way of saying a few things about the game of gin, the game played in the feature presentation that follows. “The Lacework Kid,” The Damon Runyon Theater (originally aired September 25, 1949) Directed by Richard Sandville. Adapted from a Damon Runyon short story by Russell Hughes. Here is a website with all 52 of the episodes of The Damon Runyon Theater that aired during 1949. And here is the Wikipedia entry on Damon Runyon. Another fedora tip to Aces88ss for the suggestion! Download.

  8. 03/11/2009

    Episode 14: The Hot Hundred Grand Caper

    Show notes for Episode 14: Raymond Chandler & Poker The show begins with a brief explanation of an quote about poker often attributed to the great hard-boiled novelist, Raymond Chandler. The line comes from his 1953 novel The Long Goodbye, although often the exact words uttered by the narrator-protagonist, the detective Philip Marlowe, get transformed somewhat. I refer to a couple of posts over on Hard-Boiled Poker in the segment. The post “Raymond Chandler Said a Lot of Things” explains with a little more detail how Chandler has been misquoted. Another post, “Raymond Chandler & Poker,” collects a few references to poker from Chandler’s fiction and letters. “The Hot Hundred Grand Caper,” The Adventures of Sam Spade (originally aired September 19, 1948) Starring Howard Duff (as Sam Spade, pictured). Also starring Lurene Tuttle and Sadie Thompson. Written by Bob Tollman and Gil Doud. Produced and directed by William Spier. Here is a detailed article about the radio series, written by Martin Grams. The article is an excerpt from Grams’ book The Radio Adventures of Sam Spade. And here’s a link to an archive with over 50 episodes of the show. Download.

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

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Old time radio shows & other storytellersbringing you tales about poker and/or gambling.

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