20 episodes

Burrito Quest is all about...stamina. We (Ben, Isaac, and Daniel) ate our way through the Specialty Burrito menu at Santa Fe Grill, a fast food eatery located inside Pic Quik convenience stores in Las Cruces, New Mexco. This list is a good 60 burritos long, and it took us all of 2009, and a quarter of 2010.
Along the way we met and (we like to think) befriended a burristro who we named Salsa Bro. Toward the end of our quest, Salsa Bro was unceremoniously fired for, rumor has it, giving free burritos to pretty ladies. What man wouldn't, we ask you?
And so, our primary quest finished, we push on, searching the Land of Burritos (Las Cruces, NM burrito-serving establishments) for our old friend. Join us, for Burrito Quest 2: The Search for Salsa Bro!

Burrito Quest noreply@blogger.com (Daniel Lofton)

    • Arts

Burrito Quest is all about...stamina. We (Ben, Isaac, and Daniel) ate our way through the Specialty Burrito menu at Santa Fe Grill, a fast food eatery located inside Pic Quik convenience stores in Las Cruces, New Mexco. This list is a good 60 burritos long, and it took us all of 2009, and a quarter of 2010.
Along the way we met and (we like to think) befriended a burristro who we named Salsa Bro. Toward the end of our quest, Salsa Bro was unceremoniously fired for, rumor has it, giving free burritos to pretty ladies. What man wouldn't, we ask you?
And so, our primary quest finished, we push on, searching the Land of Burritos (Las Cruces, NM burrito-serving establishments) for our old friend. Join us, for Burrito Quest 2: The Search for Salsa Bro!

    Santa Fe Grill - Bean Burrito Repeat

    Santa Fe Grill - Bean Burrito Repeat

    Issac joins us for the finale of Veggie Trek. We repeat another previously failed burro to round things out. Santa Fe Grill comes through in spades, with a veggie burrito that even Daniel would get again; good consistency and flavor but for a few undercooked potatoes. As this Trek rounds out we, perhaps inevitably, turn our collective mind to the future of Burrito Quest. Bizarro Trek is looking more and more likely, despite Ben's intractable attitude toward meat. Isaac returns in rare form, trying to shock-jock by spewing racist slurs machine-gun style. Then we mostly blame it on Ben. Isaac and Ben decide to join forces on the whole thing and get Daniel mad. It only makes him yell at Tony more, who ate his burrito solo, not even waiting on the Questers. What a douche. Burrito Quest 4: Veggie Trek, success! Ingredients: Beans, potatoes, salsa, pico de gallo, and green chile Ratings: Ben - Gay penguins, because nobody cares that they're gay except scientists, and they have to study it. Daniel - Condors, have you seen the wingspan on those things? They're not the prettiest, but still impressive. Isaac - Peacocks or turkeys, the female ones that don't look as pretty. It was good, but it could have been spritzed up. BQ4 - Episode Thirteen "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

    Andele - Build Your Own Burrito Take Two

    Andele - Build Your Own Burrito Take Two

    Andele boned us last time, this time we take it back! We refine the ingredients for their Build-Your-Own burro and the results suffer improvement of a sort. Onions, you're out, as is your overwhelming flavor. The burrito is somewhat dry, and their omission of side-salsa does not help. The overall flavor is good though. We supplement, after an appropriate period, with some store-bought salsa.  Again, much improvement. Bizarro Trek rears its ugly head, re: the future of Burrito Quest. Isaac is the third wheel of this Quest? How have we limped along all this time without him. Ingredients: Avocado, cilantro, green chile, potatoes, and rice Ratings: Ben - Sushi that has the fried skin in it, you think it's going to be dry and kind of awful, but then it's ok.  Also...sushi. Daniel -  Root beer float, I don't have them alot, but every time I have them I think they are good. But I don't crave them. BQ4 - Episode Twelve "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

    Taco Bell - Veggie Cantina Burrito

    Taco Bell - Veggie Cantina Burrito

    Taco Bell, your bell has been rung for the last time. At least the last time during Veggie Trek. The previous excursion for this particular burro ended in failure, due to fowl incursion into what was supposed to be a strictly vegetarian affair.  This burrito rings 'veggie true' if not completely 'tasty true.'  A mushy melange of ingredients that taste like... well, Taco Bell in a rather indiscriminate manner. All in all positive, but only vaguely so. Recent realizations that Veggie Trek was on track for abject failure led Daniel to consider double-fisting episodes, in order to set a faster pace toward the end of the year. This sparked yet another realization, that such a thing had indeed been attempted, even achieved, in the misty past of BQ4. Given this, and recalculations of successfully eaten veggie burritos in the past year, it seems that things are not so dire for our intrepid heroes after all. After this last glutinous foray to the Bell, we are a mere two burritos from the first successful BQ foray since BQ Prime. The proximity of said success prompting the questions: "Then what?" and "Is Burrito Quest 5 likely?" Daniel forwards the notion of replacing one of the principles to ease the way for future Questing. Ben is less than enthused with the notion. Ingredients: "Experience our new cilantro rice, flavorful black beans, guacamole made from real Hass avocados, pico de gallo prepared fresh daily, roasted corn & pepper salsa and a creamy cilantro dressing, all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla." Ratings: Ben -Like whiskey that tastes like smoky wood, some people really like that, I thought it might be interesting but it tasted bad. Daniel -Burning pine wood in a fireplace, having a fire is nice and comforting, but that kind of wood is going to burn up fast so the comfort is fleeting. BQ4 - Episode Eleven "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

    Andele - Build Your Own Burrito

    Andele - Build Your Own Burrito

    The Quest is in trouble.  Andele is, a tasty establishment that we have visited in the past, serves us up another crushing defeat in our Veggie Trek.  Daniel actually does some footwork ahead of time to figure out what ingredients they offer that meet our stringent veggie requirements for building-our-own burritos.  Then Ben finds a tiny sliver of meat.  Failure!  So our records stands at 7 successes.  Not too great, especially considering our likelihood of questing for the rest of October or November.  The burrito, tiny piece of beef notwithstanding, is only ok.  The grilled onions generally overpower every other ingredient.  Also, the construction, when it comes to ingredient dispersion, is lacking.  Ben has wrapping problem, and also a lack of green chile.  Daniel fumes about the meat finding, and waxes boring on the subject of page hits to the BQ website.  Amy eats a pile of beef, again offsetting our veggie footprint. Ingredients: Potaoes, avocado, cilantro, grilled onions, and green chile Ratings: Ben - Parking anxiety, you find a place to park but you're not supposed to park there, so you worry about your car getting towed. Daniel -Studying for a test really hard and ending up with a s****y grade anyway. BQ4 - Episode Ten "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

    Taco Bell - Black Bean Burrito

    Taco Bell - Black Bean Burrito

    Taco Bell gets a chance to redeem its previous meat-filled disaster. And redeem it does. Once again, corporate chemistry brings flavor and consistency to the veggie trek. We do manage to slightly confuse the name of this one with the one of their cheesier burritos, but the end result is vegetarian and delicious. We also get some of Taco Bell's new corn salsa and guacamole, which are crappy and yummy, respectively. Ben mentions that he once visited an Mexican-Irish restaurant in Alaska. We talk briefly about the future of Burrito Quest and what, thematically, we might do for BQV. There is a lot of discussion this episode about cramming other foods into burritos (reubens, pizza, Grandy's). We talk about taking Sage to Taco Bell for a quest if he comes into town, or if we go to his town. Daniel gushes about Taco Bell and angrily denigrates those who think they are better than Taco Bell.  You're not better than Taco Bell! Ingredients: "Enjoy cilantro rice, flavorful black beans, a savory three-cheese blend, topped with tangy red sauce, all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla." Ratings: Ben - Robots on Mars, we have one on Mars right now, and that's pretty cool. Daniel - When someone cuts you off on the road, but they realize it and are noticeably apologetic. BQ4 - Episode Nine "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

    Currito - Bankok Tofu

    Currito - Bankok Tofu

    Not content to geek out strictly in the gaming direction, we also satisfy our burrito nerdery whist at GenCon.  More than one firsts in this episode: first mall food court burrito, first tofu and/or Asian-inspired burrito, first time questing together outside of Las Cruces.  Currito is self-styled "Burritos without Borders."  Not sure what that means, beyond putting non-traditional ingredients into a tortilla and calling them burritos still.  The tofu is uninspiring; cubes of tasteless white protein ('sick prots') that barely even added heft to the burro.  All in all pretty average, with decent taste and texture offset by a poor tortilla and lame tofu.  A short quest, wedged in between nerdly jaunts to the GenCon exhibit hall and various gamings.  It's almost relegated to a BQ: OTR segment, but let's face it, we may be cutting it close on this Veggie Trek, so we'll take what we can get. Ingredients: "Thai-style peanut sauce, Asian slaw, cucumbers, rice, flour tortilla" with tofu added. Ratings: Ben - A good comic book you read a long time ago but forgot about, then you read it again. Daniel - Bacteria existing in hot vents on the sea floor, kind of cool but overall pretty meh. BQ4 - Episode Eight  "This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten" by Parry Gripp, used with permission.  http://parrygripp.com/

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