The Sensual Sisterhood Podcast

Marta Kagan & Barbara Katsnelson
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

Most women don't need fixing. They need aliveness. The Sensual Sisterhood is a podcast for women who have built successful lives but no longer feel fully alive inside them. Hosted by Marta Kagan and Barbara Katsnelson, this show explores the hidden conditioning, cultural messages, and self-abandonment patterns that leave so many women feeling numb, disconnected, exhausted, resentful, or wondering why life doesn't feel as good as they thought it would. We talk about desire. Pleasure. Sex. Relationships. Midlife. Aging. Feminine power. Body trust. Emotional aliveness. But this isn't really a podcast about any of those things. It's a podcast about coming back to yourself. Through honest conversations, personal stories, and powerful revelations, Marta and Barbara challenge everything women have been taught about what makes life meaningful, what makes a woman valuable, and what it actually takes to feel fully alive. Because the goal isn't to become someone new. The goal is to remember who you were before the world taught you to disconnect from yourself. If your life looks good on paper, but something still feels missing underneath it... Welcome back to yourself.

  1. 4d ago

    BDSM for Beginners: Consent, Power Play, and Why Women Crave Surrender - Ep. 34

    Most women aren't drawn to surrender because they're weak. They're drawn to it because they're tired of carrying everything. Every decision. Every responsibility. Every person. Every f*****g detail. But despite what Fifty Shades of Grey taught the world, real BDSM isn't about one person taking power from another. At its best, it's a carefully negotiated exchange built on explicit consent, deep attunement, clear boundaries, and trust. In this episode, Barbara takes us inside the professional Domme training she recently completed and reveals what BDSM actually taught her about containment, surrender, and the kind of power that doesn't need to control. Marta also shares what she learned working in a New York City dungeon in her twenties, why powerful people are often the ones most hungry to relinquish control, and why her own relationship to dominance and submission has changed in midlife. IN THIS EPISODE:  What real BDSM looks like beyond the whips, latex, and Hollywood mythology Why surrender can feel profoundly liberating to women who carry everything The difference between domination and genuine containment Why the submissive holds more power than most people realize How consent, boundaries, safe words, and negotiation create the scene What "subspace" feels like and why women may crave it Why a good Domme is calm, steady, attentive, and deeply responsible The relationship between healthy masculine energy and the ability to soften Why wanting to submit does not make you weak, damaged, or unfeminist What BDSM reveals about the consent we're missing in everyday life You do not have to want any of it. But you do get to want whatever is true for you. ✨ START HERE (FREE) Join The Sensual Sisterhood  👉 https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about Download The Sensual Spark 👉 https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark 💎 GO DEEPER The Return 👉 https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return 💬 What did this conversation change or clarify about the way you understand surrender? This episode is intended for education and conversation. BDSM activities involve physical and emotional risks and require informed consent, clear communication, appropriate safety practices, and respect for every participant's boundaries. If you choose to explore, seek guidance from experienced, reputable, appropriately trained professionals. Timestamps  00:00 What Fifty Shades of Grey got wrong about BDSM 01:14 Why Barbara trained to become a professional Domme 03:13 The experience of masculine containment 05:38 What happened when that containment disappeared 08:53 Domination versus holding a safe container 11:10 Why consent makes surrender erotic 12:33 Who actually holds the power in a BDSM scene? 14:19 What subspace feels like 17:38 Marta's experience working in a New York dungeon 19:10 Why women who carry everything may crave surrender 24:59 The stigma and misinformation surrounding BDSM 26:23 BDSM doesn't require latex, whips, or pain 29:43 Myth: BDSM is dangerous or nonconsensual 31:19 Myth: Submission means weakness 32:31 Myth: You need special equipment or training 33:32 Myth: Dominant women are controlling or unfeminine 35:53 Myth: BDSM means something is wrong with you 38:13 Your desires don't need permission 39:38 What BDSM reveals about everyday consent 43:24 Bringing consent back into the body

  2. Aug 11

    Divorce After 50, Falling in Love Again, and the Best Sex of My Life - Ep. 33

    Everyone tells you passion fades with age. That divorce after 50 means starting over alone. That perimenopause is where your sex life goes to die. None of that happened to me. What actually happened is the reason this episode was hard to record and even harder to decide to publish. Barbara sits down with me and my partner, Keith, as we go into all of it. My marriage. My divorce. What I actually said on the phone to a man I hadn't spoken to in 27 years. What he thought when he heard from me again. And what our sex life looks like now, in perimenopause, at an age we were told passion was supposed to be fading. IN THIS EPISODE:  - Why I finally left a 26-year relationship and 23-year marriage - The text I sent an ex I hadn't spoken to in 27 years - What I said on our first phone call that neither of us expected - What Keith really thought when he heard from me again - Why perimenopause hasn't diminished our desire or our sex life - What daily, deeply connected intimacy actually looks like after 50 - How sensual sisterhood gave me the courage to choose myself - How my willingness to express myself changed Keith and our relationship __ ✨ START HERE (FREE) Join The Sensual Sisterhood  👉 https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about Download The Sensual Spark (3-min audio) 👉 https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark 💎 GO DEEPER The Return 👉 https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return 🎙️ CONTINUE LISTENING Wondering what dating after 40 actually looks like when you're not the woman you were the first time around? 👉 Dating After 40: What Actually Changed (It's Not What You Think) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jKzgwyn14Y 💬 What's one belief about sex after 50 you're ready to let go of? __ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 What if a woman's most erotic chapter begins when she stops living the life she's supposed to live? 01:32 Marta introduces her partner, Keith 02:07 The 27-year gap: how they first met in their twenties 04:07 What Marta's marriage looked like from the outside 06:21 The moment she realized she was surviving, not living 07:15 How sobriety brought unexpected clarity 09:43 Her biggest fear about leaving a 26-year relationship 12:49 The desires she'd been ignoring for decades 14:59 Why sisterhood gave her the courage to choose herself 27:49 How reconnecting with pleasure changed her relationship with herself 34:11 What made her reach out to an ex she hadn't spoken to in 27 years 42:24 Keith's side of the story: what went through his mind 51:12 The date, the text, and what Marta actually said to him 54:49 The moment Keith knew this was different 01:16:11 What surprised Marta most about falling in love after 50 01:20:14 Sex, frequency, and what changed after 50 01:36:07 Perimenopause and why it hasn't diminished their sex life 01:40:02 What desire was trying to lead Marta toward all along

  3. Aug 4

    The Benefits of Masturbation After 40 (Why Your Doctor Never Mentions This) - Ep. 32

    Nobody told you this was allowed to help. Not your doctor. Not your mother. Not the article that put you on hormone replacement therapy before anyone mentioned this. There's a reason this conversation almost never happens out loud, and it's not because it doesn't matter. We don't think the silence is an accident. It's baked into the word itself. IN THIS EPISODE:  - Why masturbation may ease menopause symptoms like mood swings, sleep disruption, and fatigue - The real reason so few doctors bring up self-pleasure with their patients - What a 2024 Kinsey Institute study found about self-pleasure during perimenopause and menopause - Whether vibrators desensitize you or affect partnered sex - Why penetration alone isn't enough for most women to reach orgasm - Whether masturbating in a happy relationship means something is missing - Whether masturbation affects fertility or hormone levels __ ✨ START HERE (FREE) Join The Sensual Sisterhood 👉 https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about Download The Sensual Spark (3-min audio) 👉 https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark 💎 GO DEEPER The Return 👉 https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return 🎙️ CONTINUE LISTENING Curious how the clitoris actually works? We covered it in full. 👉 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQLdWmdk4jc 💬 What's one myth about masturbation you grew up believing? This episode is for educational purposes only and isn't a substitute for individualized care from a qualified healthcare provider. __ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 "Masturbation. Let's just get the uncomfortable word out of the way." 01:21 Why the word itself carries built-in shame 02:51 Replacing "masturbation" with "self-pleasure" 04:08 When Barbara realized this wasn't something women were allowed to talk about 06:02 2024 Kinsey Institute study on self-pleasure in perimenopause and menopause 08:24 The oxytocin and endorphin connection 10:23 The 91% vs. 3% doctor conversation gap 13:01 Why there's no financial incentive to talk about this 15:02 2025 Kinsey Institute study: what actually changes at midlife 19:39 What reclaiming attention actually offers 21:05 Pleasure as a healing tool, not another healing loop 23:35 Self-pleasure as body literacy 24:54 The speed of p***y 27:01 Becoming your own best lover 29:09 Myth 1: Vibrators desensitize you or ruin partnered sex 33:05 Myth 2: Penetration alone should be enough 34:17 Myth 3: Masturbating in a happy relationship means something's wrong 36:39 Myth 4: Masturbation harms fertility or hormones 38:34 Closing thoughts and the invitation to Sensual Sisterhood

  4. Jul 28

    Dating After 40: What Actually Changed (It's Not What You Think) - Ep. 31

    If dating after 40 feels harder than you expected, most people will tell you it's the apps. Or the culture. Or that there just aren't any good ones left. We don't think that's what's actually happening. Because after recording this conversation, we realized something surprising: The biggest thing that changed wasn't dating. It was us. In this episode, Barbara and I go rapid-fire through the dating rules we were taught, decide which ones die on sight, and share the handful we'd actually keep. IN THIS EPISODE: -The real data behind why dating after 40 feels different (it's not just you)  -Why gray divorce and dating after 40 is happening at record rates -Old rule vs. new rule: the dating advice we're killing for good -The five dating rules we'd actually keep today -Why staying connected to your body matters more than any dating strategy -Busting 3 dating myths: dating apps ruined dating, there are no good men left, and you're "too old" _ ✨ START HERE (FREE) Join The Sensual Sisterhood 👉 https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about Download The Sensual Spark (3-min audio) 👉 https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark _ 💎 GO DEEPER The Return 👉 https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return 💬 What's one dating rule you no longer believe? _ TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 "The entire dating rulebook changed" 00:55 Why 30 episodes in, we've never covered this 02:00 The first sign Barbara realized dating had changed 03:33 The data: how couples actually meet now 04:02 Gray divorce and the midlife dating boom 05:00 What women are actually looking for now (it's not what it used to be) 09:38 "We're not interviewing fathers anymore" 10:17 "My life looked great on paper. I was dead inside." 15:11 Old rulebook vs. new rulebook: keep it or kill it 20:06 Killing "play hard to get" and "be the cool girl" 21:05 Why "don't ask for too much" is a lie 22:51 Filtering for men who can handle a strong woman 25:45 Talking about sex early (and why you should) 33:44 The five dating rules we'd actually keep today 44:27 Naked with someone new after 20 years with one partner 55:23 Busting the 3 biggest dating myths 1:02:52 The one thing to remember before your next date

  5. Jul 21

    What Really Happens to Your Vagina After 40? (The Truth About Menopause & Sex) - Ep 30

    One Google search can convince you your sex life is over. That your vagina is shrinking. That your desire is disappearing. That painful sex, dryness, and numbness are simply the price every woman pays for getting older. But what if that isn't the whole story? In this episode, we're separating fear from fact. We're talking honestly about what actually changes after 40, what doesn't, and why so many women are being taught to expect decline when that's far from the only possible outcome. Because menopause changes your body. It does not automatically end your pleasure. In this conversation, we explore: • What really happens to your vagina and vulva after 40 • Whether vaginal atrophy is actually inevitable • Why sex sometimes becomes painful (and what you can do about it) • The surprising research on sexual satisfaction after 50 • Why stress and disconnection often matter more than hormones • How to reconnect with your body instead of fearing it If you've been Googling "What's happening to my vagina?" at 11 PM... This episode is for you. _ START HERE If something in this conversation resonates, begin with a simple way back into your body. Get The Sensual Spark (free audio activation): https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark Or join The Sensual Sisterhood (free community): https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about _ GO DEEPER If this conversation stirred something in you... If you're realizing your body isn't broken... If you're ready to reconnect with your desire instead of fearing what's changing... The Return is a guided experience designed to help you reconnect with your body, your desires, and the woman underneath years of responsibility, performance, and self-abandonment. Not by becoming someone new. By remembering who you are. Start here: https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return _ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 "Your p***y isn't retiring after 40." 01:18 Why we're taught to fear menopause 03:15 What's actually missing from the conversation 06:11 The surprising research about sex after 50 10:40 Stress, pleasure, and why Google gets it wrong 14:45 Marta's story: From dead libido to the best sex of her life 18:11 Biology vs. self-abandonment 24:16 Myth: Does menopause ruin your sex life? 25:04 Myth: Is vaginal atrophy inevitable? 27:17 Myth: Why does sex hurt after menopause? 29:19 Myth: Does libido come back? 33:14 Where to start if your body feels different 35:43 Your p***y isn't expiring   If this conversation resonated... What if your body isn't asking you to give up... What if it's asking you to experience pleasure differently?

  6. Jul 14

    Is Something Wrong With Me? 6 Questions Every Woman Over 40 Asks About Sex - Ep. 29

    One of the saddest things we hear women say is: "I thought I was the only one." The only one who doesn't want sex anymore.  The only one who can't orgasm with a partner. The only one whose body has changed. The only one who secretly wonders... "Is something wrong with me?" You're not. In this episode, we're answering the questions thousands of women have whispered to us over the years. The questions they ask after workshops, inside coaching sessions, in DMs, and once everyone else has left the room. Because while the questions sound different... the fear underneath them is almost always the same. In this conversation, we explore:  • Why so many women stop wanting sex (and what it actually means) • Why orgasms can feel easy alone but difficult with a partner • How to tell your partner what you really want without shame • Whether the best sex of your life can actually happen after 40 • Why sex starts feeling like another item on your to-do list • The one message every woman needs to hear about pleasure, desire, and midlife If you've ever wondered whether you're the only one... this episode is for you. — START HERE If something in this conversation resonates, begin with a simple way back into your body. Get The Sensual Spark (free audio activation): https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark Or join The Sensual Sisterhood (free community): https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about — GO DEEPER If this conversation stirred something in you... If you're beginning to wonder whether your body has been trying to tell you something all along... The Return is a guided experience designed to help you reconnect with your body, your desires, and the woman underneath years of responsibility, performance, and self-abandonment. Not by becoming someone new. By remembering who you are. Start here: https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return — TIMESTAMPS 00:00 "I thought I was the only one..." 01:30 Is it normal that I don't want sex anymore? 06:35 Why can I orgasm alone but not with my partner? 10:06 How do I tell my partner what I actually want? 14:37 Can women really have the best sex of their lives after 40? 21:02 Why does sex feel like another thing on my to-do list? 23:44 The one thing every woman needs to remember — If this conversation resonated... What if the question you've been asking isn't the one your body has been trying to answer?

  7. Jul 7

    What if Pleasure Isn't Optional? Why Women Feel Disconnected From Themselves - Ep 28

    You've probably been taught that pleasure is something you earn. Something you get after you've finished the work. After you've taken care of everyone else. After you've been productive enough. But what if that's the very belief keeping so many women exhausted, disconnected, and wondering where they went? What if pleasure was never meant to be optional? In this conversation, we explore: • Why so many women stop feeling connected to themselves • The surprising reason pleasure became something women learned to dismiss • What history, culture, and conditioning taught us about being "good" • Why so many women keep trying to solve the wrong problem • The hidden cost of treating pleasure like a reward instead of a necessity • One simple shift that changes how you think about pleasure forever Once you see it... You'll never think about pleasure the same way again. — START HERE If something in this conversation resonates, begin with a simple way back into your body. Get **The Sensual Spark** (free audio activation): https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark Or join **The Sensual Sisterhood** (free community): https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about — GO DEEPER If this conversation stirred something in you... If you're beginning to wonder whether the thing you've been missing isn't more discipline, but a deeper connection to yourself... **The Return** is a guided experience designed to help you reconnect with your body, your desires, and the woman underneath years of responsibility, performance, and self-abandonment. Not by becoming someone new. By remembering who you are. Start here: https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return — TIMESTAMPS 00:00 What if pleasure isn't optional? 01:08 The comment that sparked this conversation 03:09 Why women lose access to themselves 06:40 How we were trained away from pleasure 13:15 The chemistry of pleasure and why it matters 20:20 Why pleasure isn't a reward 22:00 Where pleasure really begins 26:00 Why sisterhood changes everything 27:20 The question we'll leave you with _ If this conversation resonated... **What if the thing you've been treating as optional is actually the thing you've needed all along?**

  8. Jul 1

    The Bargain That Keeps Women Half Alive - Ep 27

    Your life looks good on paper. So why doesn't it feel as alive as you thought it would? Maybe you've found yourself wondering why you feel disconnected from a life you worked so hard to build. Or you've looked at another woman who seems deeply alive and thought... What is she experiencing that I'm not? If so, this episode is for you. Because there's one piece of the puzzle almost nobody talks about. In this conversation, we explore: • Why so many successful women still feel disconnected from their own lives • The invisible bargain that shapes how women measure themselves • Why "selfish" became one of the most powerful forms of social control • Why gratitude and aliveness are not the same thing • What changes when you stop measuring your life by usefulness • The question that completely changed how we think about fulfillment Once you see the pattern... You'll never look at your life the same way again. START HERE If something in this conversation resonates, begin with a simple way back into your body.  Get The Sensual Spark (free audio activation): https://bemarvelus.com/sensual-spark Or join the Sensual Sisterhood (free community): https://www.skool.com/be-marvelus/about GO DEEPER If this conversation stirred something in you... If you're beginning to suspect there's another way to experience the life you've already built... The Return is a guided experience designed to help you reconnect with your body, your desires, and the parts of yourself that have been buried beneath years of responsibility, performance, and self-abandonment. Not by becoming someone new. By remembering who you are. Start here: https://www.bemarvelus.com/the-return TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Why life still doesn't feel the way you expected 01:15 The Instagram conversation that sparked this episode 03:56 Two radically different ways to measure a life 09:06 Why "selfish" became an insult 12:44 The bargain women were taught to accept 15:36 The assignment we never questioned 18:15 Why the bargain still feels so convincing 22:00 How aliveness changes what you're willing to choose 27:47 Why environment matters more than willpower  30:39 The real point of life If this conversation resonated... *What part of the bargain are you no longer willing to keep?* And if a woman came to mind while listening, send this episode to her.

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About

Most women don't need fixing. They need aliveness. The Sensual Sisterhood is a podcast for women who have built successful lives but no longer feel fully alive inside them. Hosted by Marta Kagan and Barbara Katsnelson, this show explores the hidden conditioning, cultural messages, and self-abandonment patterns that leave so many women feeling numb, disconnected, exhausted, resentful, or wondering why life doesn't feel as good as they thought it would. We talk about desire. Pleasure. Sex. Relationships. Midlife. Aging. Feminine power. Body trust. Emotional aliveness. But this isn't really a podcast about any of those things. It's a podcast about coming back to yourself. Through honest conversations, personal stories, and powerful revelations, Marta and Barbara challenge everything women have been taught about what makes life meaningful, what makes a woman valuable, and what it actually takes to feel fully alive. Because the goal isn't to become someone new. The goal is to remember who you were before the world taught you to disconnect from yourself. If your life looks good on paper, but something still feels missing underneath it... Welcome back to yourself.

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