Always Growing with Kelsey Heenan

Kelsey Heenan

Always Growing with Kelsey Heenan goes behind the curtain with the trainers, comedians, athletes, doctors, and quiet experts you’d assume have arrived — to share the habits, the hurdles, and the never-before-told stories of what it actually took to get here. Each week, Kelsey sits down with someone she admires for a warm, unguarded conversation about the messy, ongoing work of growth — the part nobody puts on the highlight reel. Because growth has no finish line — and if we’re being honest, none of us ever fully arrives.

Episodes

  1. 4d ago

    Feeling Seen: The Reality of Coming Out as Trans | Tousi R.

    Tousi R. has been doing Kelsey's hair for five years. This year, she came out to the world as a trans woman. "If you do say, 'You're beautiful,' it will change a trans person's life, trust me. 'Cause our entire life has been like, 'You're not good enough.' So do that, and it's free." Tousi is a celebrity hairstylist with a salon in West Hollywood and co-host of the Having A Moment podcast.  She grew up the child of Persian immigrants in a conservative, Catholic-school suburb where, as she puts it, there was no acknowledgement that anyone like her existed. She knew at six. She transitioned at 30, after two years of therapy. This is a conversation between two friends who trust each other. Tousi talks about the comments that flooded a workout video she and Kelsey posted, the year of facial feminization and breast surgery, why she stocks tampons in a salon run by a woman who will never get a period, and what she actually wants from people who don't understand her. She is funny, blunt, and unfiltered, and she has a lot of insight to share that we can all learn from.. If you've ever hidden a part of yourself to make other people comfortable, this is your episode. It's never too early or too late to be who you are. Follow Tousi on Instagram @aitous and TikTok @tousibeauty, and listen to Having A Moment podcast. Thank you to our sponsors Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit Chapters (00:00) Five Years in the Chair (01:02) "I've Worked With Celebrities, But I Work With Everyone" (02:20) The Red Hair Era (03:53) Color Is Not a Personality (04:31) Keep Your Hairdresser (05:53) "I'm a Trans Woman" (06:27) Growing Up Persian, Catholic, and Unseen (07:16) Hair as an Escape (08:41) Things You Never Knew You Never Knew (10:22) Progress, Not Woke (11:23) "If You Don't Believe in It, Don't Do It" (13:45) Sexuality Does Not Define Identity (14:39) A Word From Orange Toucan (15:51) "When Did I Choose to Be Straight?" (17:43) The Comments on the Workout Video (19:41) "I'm Not a Marvel Character" (22:15) Knowing at Six Years Old (24:46) "I Wish I Transitioned Earlier" (26:59) The Movie That Shows You the Ending First (27:34) Coming Out and Two Years of Therapy (29:02) The World Is Not a Beautiful Place (31:42) The Year of Surgery (33:17) Plastic Surgery, Stigma, and Choice (35:46) The Insulin Question (36:49) Mental Fitness, Not Mental Illness (39:42) "I've Never Allowed Anyone to Tell Me Who I Am" (42:29) Tampons in the Salon (44:52) A Word From TMRW (45:53) "Stop Bullying Us" (49:16) What "Pushing an Agenda" Even Means (51:04) Exposure, Diversity, and Who Decides (53:28) "We Just Wanna Live" (56:07) The Priest, Confession, and Keeping Faith (58:57) Advice for Anyone Scared to Be Themselves (60:55) What Support Looks Like (62:26) Friends Over Partners (65:27) What Transition Taught Her (67:59) "It's Not a Choice. It's Who You Are." (68:10) "Tell Them They're Beautiful" (68:41) Where to Find Aitous (70:03) Farewell

  2. Sep 2

    What Your Pain Is Actually Telling You | Dr. Joey Mattina

    Kelsey calls Dr. Joey Mattina her healer. He calls himself a body worker. Joey has a chiropractic degree, but does a whole lot more than that to help his patients feel and move their best. He works out of Peak Wellness, a practice in Beverly Hills full of professional athletes, the Clippers, the LA Kings, a long list of people whose bodies are their careers.  A simple adjustment was never going to be enough for him. Over a decade he's folded in Rolfing, fascial work, and pieces of half a dozen other manual therapies until what he does stopped fitting neatly under any one word. This conversation is a working tour of how a very good practitioner actually thinks. Why no two ankle sprains are the same. Why the tissue can heal perfectly and the person still isn't better. He explains how to treat a person as an individual to get them feeling their best. If something's been hurting for a while and you've been toughing it out, this is your episode. Thank you to our sponsor Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit Chapters (00:00) How He Stays Locked In (01:29) "I Call You My Healer" (01:55) The Treatment That Turned Into Grief (03:05) Not a Chiropractor, a Body Worker (04:11) Treating Systems, Not Just Joints (04:45) What Rolfing Actually Is (05:57) Why He Closes His Eyes (07:22) The Butterfly and the Ant (08:16) No Two Ankle Sprains Are the Same (08:42) The Biopsychosocial Model (09:20) When the Tissue Heals But the Trauma Doesn't (10:45) Trauma, Hives, and the Sympathetic Loop (11:28) The Ayahuasca Cases (13:18) Reading the Layers (15:10) A Word From TMRW (16:37) The 5% You Go Deep With (17:28) What Pain Actually Is (17:51) Something Is Out of Balance (18:29) His Own Pickleball Confession (19:09) Six Days in a Row at Barry's (19:33) When Your Back Goes Out (20:30) Most Pain Resolves in Three to Five Days (21:23) Sedentary Life, Then Obsession (22:43) Kelsey's Shoulder and the OpenFit Shoot (24:34) The Dentist Analogy (25:14) Why Pain Moves Around (26:52) The Human Body Isn't Symmetrical (27:02) Usain Bolt Has Scoliosis (28:08) Training Hard vs. Training for Longevity (29:43) Be Honest: Do I Feel Better? (30:35) The Four Things He Does Every Day (31:07) Missing a Day Is Fine (32:23) The All-or-Nothing Trap (33:35) "I'm Lazy" (33:54) The Boundary He Won't Cross (35:11) A Shout-Out to Dennis Colonnello (37:21) What He's Curious About Now (38:41) Phantom Limbs and the Mirror (40:11) When Feeling Safe Matters More Than Technique (40:44) Rest, or Train Around It? (41:51) On Chiropractic Being Called Quackery (42:13) Using AI for Your Body (43:49) Sauna Yes, Ice Bath No (44:56) "I'd Basically Not Have a Job" (45:17) Your Tissue Changes With Time (46:35) Mobility Is Not Hard (47:22) Sleep Is the Hard One (48:14) Proactive Care, When to Come In (50:30) Book It Before You Leave (51:49) Where to Find Him (53:20) Farewell

  3. Aug 26

    A Fighter’s Secret Battle with Eating Disorders | Danny O'Connor

    In this episode of Always Growing, host Kelsey Heenan sits down with professional boxer and former Olympian Danny O’Connor for an honest conversation on identity, discipline, and overcoming a silent, decades-long battle with eating disorders in combat sports. From earning a spot on the 2008 U.S. Olympic team to reaching the brink of a world title, Danny appeared to have it all under control. Beneath the surface, years of extreme weight cutting evolved into a life-threatening battle with binge eating disorder—culminating in an ICU stay that ended his boxing career and forced him to rebuild his life from scratch. In this episode, we cover:  The hidden reality of eating disorders and severe weight cutting in athletics  Danny’s journey through rock bottom, recovery, and breaking the stigma for men  Actionable mindset lessons on resilience, identity beyond your sport, and showing up tomorrow If you or anyone in your life has ever struggled with food, body image, or identity after sports, this conversation is for you. Connect with Danny:  Book: Weight Class (Available on Amazon)  Community: Weekly support meetings at bitelikeaman.com Note: This episode contains detailed discussions of disordered eating. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a healthcare professional or a trusted loved one. Thank you to our sponsors Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Chapters (00:00) Nothing in Common But One Thing (00:43) Welcome, Danny O'Connor (01:07) A Wrestler at 14 (01:53) Just a Number on a Scale (02:15) Blowing Up His Life (03:00) Death or Jail (03:26) Pablo, His Mr. Miyagi (04:14) Golden Gloves to Team USA (04:55) Turning Pro (07:42) From the Police Beat to the Newspaper (08:28) "I Love Boxing. I Don't Like Fighting." (09:40) Two Things in Direct Conflict (11:20) An Opponent You Don't Know Exists (12:19) What It Did to His Body (12:51) Never in the Ring at 100% (13:41) 140 to 200 and Back (14:42) Three Sets of Clothes (15:03) Kelsey's Side of the Same Story (15:40) Does the Sport Need to Change? (17:50) The Anemic Breakout Fight (19:10) Ten Years to a Title Shot (19:40) You Can't Quit Food (20:40) Dying on the Hotel Floor (22:10) Why Not Move Up a Weight Class? (24:18) Diagnosed With Binge Eating Disorder (25:00) "I Felt Like I Broke Myself" (25:44) His Wife, and the Coffee Grounds (26:01) Inpatient, and No Other Men (29:00) The 2013 Wake-Up Call (29:41) Fourteen Pounds Overnight (31:22) Restriction Becomes Binging (33:18) Manipulating the Plan (37:08) The Binge That Changed Everything (37:50) "And Can Guys Have It?" (39:20) A Year Away From Boxing (41:32) A Job at the Grocery Store (43:30) Trying Everything (45:04) Mindfulness and a Journal a Day (46:21) Time, Consistency, and One Punch (47:29) The Checks and Balances Now (48:30) The Relapse While Writing the Book (49:44) A Shower in the Dark (50:30) Eating Without Hunger Cues (52:00) Ice Cream With His Kid (53:30) No Trigger Foods (54:27) Exposure Therapy, Both Ways (56:25) Keep a Glimmer of Hope (57:15) Life on the Other Side (58:30) The Void After (59:21) The Messages From Parents (01:00:26) Advice for Men and Athletes (01:02:15) The Book He Couldn't Find (01:03:13) Twelve Steps, Twice (01:04:14) Changing the Culture (01:06:10) Weight Class and Bite Like a Man (01:07:01) Farewell

  4. Aug 19

    Finding Strength and Joy in Hard Times with Lacee Green

    Lacee Green is a BODi Super trainer, mom, and an absolute ray of sunshine. Lacee has a phrase she's been saying for years. Find the joy and drop the judgment. Last December, that phrase was put to the ultimate test. In May 2025, Lacee, a super trainer at the peak of her fitness, knew something was wrong with her body and pushed for answers.  An MRI found a pituitary tumor that had been quietly growing for almost a decade, hiding behind signs that doctors had waved off for years. That December, she had brain surgery, followed by a full month in the ICU. In this episode, Lacee goes into detail about her physical and mental health through the most challenging time in her life and how she got through it. She teaches us the power of perseverance, positivity, and how to be real through it all. In a full-circle twist she never saw coming, the 10-minute beginner workouts she designed on BODi for others were the only thing she could do during her own recovery. Lacee is a BODi Super Trainer (the first curvy Black female Super Trainer in the company's history), creator of For Beginners Only. She is a behavior change specialist, a fitness and mindset voice on the Today Show, and known as The Curvy Girl Trainer to women around the world.  She hands over the whole toolbox: feeling everything all the way through instead of forcing positive vibes only, giving yourself something concrete to look forward to, and tapping through ten specific grateful memories when the mirror gets mean. And underneath it all, the stat that drives her work: 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies, chasing a body type only about 5% actually have. Lacee's answer… Fitness isfor every body and everybody, at every chapter. If this year has handed you a diagnosis, a setback, or a season you didn't choose, this is your episode. Your current situation is not your final destination. Woot woot! Follow Lacee on Instagram @thecurvygirltrainer, train with her on the BODi app, and keep an eye out for her book: December 2026. Thank you to our sponsors Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit Chapters (00:00) Sunshine Herself (00:33) Super Trainer, Mom, Author (01:17) A Life-Changing Year (02:20) "I Had Brain Surgery" (02:50) Trusting Her Body (03:50) The MRI (04:30) The Saturday Night Call (05:01) A Decade of Missed Signs (06:03) "I Know I'm Gonna Be Okay" (07:11) Football Season First (07:50) A Month in the ICU (08:10) Feel It All the Way Through (09:00) Something to Look Forward To (09:50) Full Circle: For Beginners Only (10:35) Where the Mindset Comes From (11:46) Not Your Final Destination (13:25) Showing Up When It's Hard (14:28) The Joy Spectrum (14:40) The 3 A.M. Path (16:20) Positive Relationships (18:31) Split Pants, Live Stream (20:10) The Pressure to Get It Right (22:40) The Power of Pause (23:01) Ten Grateful Memories (24:14) Borrowing Belief (24:40) Motherhood and the Balance Myth (27:19) Becoming the Curvy Girl Trainer (28:00) The 91% Problem (28:53) A First at Beachbody (30:10) Little Lacee in the Mirror (33:14) The Audition With No Callback (38:06) The Second Yes (39:20) The Modifier Becomes the Star (40:20) Keep Going (43:44) Love Who You Are Right Now (44:40) Celebrate Every Step (47:30) Where to Find Lacee

  5. Aug 12

    How to Gain More Confidence (and Be Funny) with Leah Lamarr

    Leah Lamarr is an actress and comedian who goes on stage without a plan. Sometimes the difference between a joke working and not working is your confidence. It took her years to be able to say that sentence. This conversation is about what she built on the way there.  Three weeks after her first 20-minute set on the road, the pandemic shut down live comedy, so Leah became the Clubhouse Queen, running her comedy club Hot on the Mic for thousands of listeners around the world. When live comedy came back, the fear was gone.  She goes through her process for developing unshakable confidence and keeps us laughing the whole time. Plus: Leah shares about the 400-escape-room obsession that put her on the nominating committee for TERPECA, the top escape room project in the world. Her favorite LA rooms are in the chapters. If you've ever waited to feel ready before doing the thing, this is your episode. You don't need the plan. You need the reps and the confidence to say it with your full chest. Follow Leah on Instagram @leahlamarr for tour dates: Dallas, Austin, Aspen, LA, Albuquerque, DC, Charlotte, and Atlanta are already on the books, tickets via Punch Up Live — and look out for The DILFs of Larchmont, coming later this summer. Thank you to our sponsors Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Chapters (00:00) A Manic Morning (00:22) The Multi-Hyphenate (00:34) Lacrosse and Two Torn Elbows (01:54) A Disco Ball Brain (02:36) 400 Escape Rooms (05:59) The Breakup That Started It All (07:47) What Makes a Great Room (09:15) LA vs. New York Rooms (11:50) The Shy Kid Myth (12:22) A Suppressed Personality (13:38) Breaking Free in College (14:20) The Award and the Frown (15:16) Recovering Perfectionists (16:43) Knife, Fork, Spoon (17:40) Quitting Comedy Over a Door Guy (18:06) Comedy as Therapy (19:50) Grieving Old Jokes (20:40) Leaning Into Crowd Work (22:00) No Plan on Stage (24:14) Comfortable in the Silence (26:25) Who Wrote the Rules? (26:36) The $250 Door Deal Grind (28:36) Clubhouse Queen (30:09) The First Real Fans (32:08) Hot on the Mic (36:00) The Great Equalizer (37:07) Crowd Work Born on an App (40:07) Punching Up, Not Down (43:53) Never Watch Yourself Back (46:13) The Voice-Note Archive (47:12) Confidence Makes the Joke (48:00) The Joke That Already Existed (49:38) Accidentally Writing Scream Queens (52:18) Vampire Rules and Vitamin D (54:05) The DILFs of Larchmont (56:34) Leah's Favorite LA Escape Rooms (58:47) Tour Dates and Farewell

  6. Aug 5

    Eating Disorder Recovery with Family Based Treatment and Hope for the Future

    Dennis Heenan holds a title no other guest on this show will ever have. For those of you who don't know, Dennis is Kelsey’s husband. He's also the person who said the sentence that saved Kelsey’s life. They met as college basketball players. Three months into dating, they knew they'd get married. Then, the summer before the engagement, Kelsey opened a pizza box on the 4th of July and burst into tears, and a 21-year-old who didn’t know anything about "anorexia" started noticing things he didn't have a name for. This conversation is the story they've never told in full from both sides.  Then comes the long road of recovery and the process of treatment Kelsey went through called Family Based Treatment.  They also talk about the spectrum of relationship with food, because most people won’t be diagnosed with a clinical eating disorder, but almost everyone has or has had a complicated relationship with food, exercise, or their body.  If you love someone who's struggling, or you're fighting that voice yourself, this is your episode. Recovery is possible.  If this episode raised something for you, talk to someone you love and reach out to a professional. In Kelsey's words: it is beyond worth it on the other side. Thank you to our sponsors Tmrw: drinktmrw.com Code: KELSEYHEENAN for $10 off your first order — subscribe and save 25% plus a free welcome kit Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Chapters (00:00) Welcome, Husband (01:33) Sixteen Years (01:59) The Weight Room First Look (03:44) Married at 21 (05:10) Allowed to Change (07:18) Kelsey's Story, From the Start (08:40) The First Food Rules (09:51) Losing 30% (10:34) What Dennis Noticed First (11:10) The 4th of July Pizza (12:03) Three Weeks Away, One Hug (15:48) The Signs Add Up (18:48) What Made You Stay (20:41) The Ultimatum in the CR-V (23:44) The Diagnosis (25:03) A Walk Could Stop Her Heart (26:50) Family-Based Treatment at UCSD (29:56) The First Meal (32:10) The Betrayal That Saved Her Life (33:54) The Spectrum Most People Live On (35:30) The Mother Wolf Test (41:50) Me, or the Lying Voice? (42:18) Re-Feeding and Coming Back (43:30) Back to the Cafeteria (44:40) The Contract (46:57) Gaining Weight for the Wedding (48:23) From Control to Choices (49:06) One Steak, One Scone (50:54) The Comparison Layer (52:50) Question Everything (53:45) Relearning Exercise (54:50) What the Industry Gets Wrong (58:20) Forced to Practice (59:35) Tackling Trigger Foods (01:03:12) Hunger and Fullness (01:05:44) Why We Share (01:08:13) "You Never Demonized Food" (01:12:00) Questioning Without Judgment (01:16:14) Farewell

  7. Jul 29

    Biochemist, Ninja, Speaker, Author | Angela Gargano

    Angela Gargano has a name for the place nobody talks about. When one door closes, another one opens — but no one talks about the hallway in between. Angela knows the hallway. She was a biochemist working twelve-hour overnight shifts in a hazmat suit when a friend asked her to help film an American Ninja Warrior audition tape. The videographer told her to submit her own. She got cast — with two weeks to learn how to be a ninja. Then, on her comeback season, in front of a national television audience, her knee buckled on the course. A torn ACL, live on TV. Doctors questioned whether she'd compete again. She'd just opened a gym. She smiled through the pain until a wise friend gave her the words that changed everything: feel your feelings — but don't get stuck here. Eleven months later she was back on the starting line. And she'll tell you she won the moment she stood on it. This conversation is about what she built in that hallway. Angela is a six-time American Ninja Warrior competitor, founder of Pull Up Revolution — a program that has helped thousands of women get their first pull-up — a keynote speaker, and now an author: her book, The Hallway In Between, arrives September 2027, a deal she landed by sending a proposal she wrote in three days. We go deep on the comeback framework — feeling emotions all the way through so you can move through them faster, controlling what you can control, and celebrating wins too small for anyone else to see. Then Angela gives us the full pull-up masterclass: the overhead mobility everyone skips, the brain-to-lat connection, and why the women in her program — some in their fifties and sixties — walk away with far more than a chin over a bar. If you're standing in a hallway of your own right now, this is your episode. The door will open. Build while you wait. Follow Angela on Instagram @angela_gargano, get your first pull-up at https://www.angela-gargano.com/ and look out for her book The Hallway In Between, coming September 2027. Thank you to our sponsor Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Chapters (00:00) Old Friends Reunite (01:22) Ninja, Speaker, Author (01:49) The Book Deal (02:06) The Hallway In Between (03:15) Shooting Your Shot (04:24) A Book Proposal in Three Days (05:04) Detaching From the Outcome (07:55) Biochemist in a Hazmat Suit (09:15) Accidentally Auditioning for Ninja Warrior (10:22) Two Weeks to Become a Ninja (11:21) Rejection and Rebuilding (11:57) Tearing Her ACL on Live TV (13:38) Rock Bottom (14:43) Permission to Feel (18:18) The Comeback Framework (22:34) Back on the Starting Line (23:07) Winning Before the Buzzer (25:01) Redefining Success (27:55) The Pull Up Revolution Origin (34:12) What a First Pull-Up Takes (39:21) Training the Brain-Lat Connection (45:35) Twelve Weeks to a Pull-Up (50:27) Client Transformation Stories (52:37) The Coach Hires a Coach (53:24) What Are You Growing In (53:52) Choose Your Advice Wisely (54:27) Trusting Your Own Decisions (56:24) Leadership Means Trusting Yourself (56:41) Where to Find Angela (57:55) Farewell

  8. Jul 22

    30 Years of Fitness | Jeanette Jenkins

    Jeanette Jenkins has a line she's built thirty years on. You can't be blessed to the next level until you just start from day one. Day one, for her, was a pool deck in Ottawa — a lifeguard and swim instructor working forty hours a week while carrying a full course load on an academic scholarship. Then it was a Greyhound bus to New York with almost no money, standing in the back of a 500-person step aerobics ballroom, running up to the presenters afterward to say: I want to do this for a living. Today, Jeanette is one of the most respected coaches on the planet. Eighteen certifications. A client list that includes Pink, Alicia Keys, Nia Long, Jurnee Smollett, and Olympians. A streaming platform — The Hollywood Trainer Club — with over 600 workouts. And she's still adding certifications, still teaching group fitness, still starting from day one. This conversation is a masterclass in building a career — and a body — that lasts. Jeanette talks about the audition she didn't get, and how it pushed her to produce her own DVD series that ended up in seventeen countries. About living in a $600-a-month studio so she could buy her first property, and the mentor who taught her to be an iron fist in a velvet glove. About training Pink for a full year before a tour, and getting Jurnee Smollett ready to fight as Black Canary. And we go deep on the thing underneath all of it: why a squat is still a squat no matter what the algorithm says, why visible abs don't mean healthy, and why she made a rule — for herself and every client — that negative self-talk doesn't get a seat in the room. If you've ever wanted proof that consistency beats hype — in fitness, in business, in life — this is your episode. Start from day one. Then keep starting. Follow Jeanette on Instagram @msjeanettejenkins and train with her at https://thehollywoodtrainerclub.com/ Thank you to our sponsor Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Chapters (00:00) Welcome and Eight Years of Friendship (00:36) Thirty Years, Eighteen Certifications (01:58) Starting in the Water (03:32) Scholarship and Human Kinetics (04:33) First Fitness Conference in NYC (06:08) Meeting Donna Richardson (06:49) The Move to LA (07:49) Hired at Crunch and TV Debut (10:49) Learning Behind the Camera (11:57) Producing Her Own DVD Series (13:34) Celebrity Clients and Red Carpets (15:24) Cross Training Philosophy (17:04) A Squat Is Still a Squat (18:25) Coaching Beyond Aesthetics (19:24) DVDs to Streaming Pivot (20:29) Buying HollywoodTrainer.com for $30 (21:39) The Bikini Bootcamp Lesson (24:26) Choosing Happiness Daily (25:35) Iron Fist, Velvet Glove (30:18) Multiple Streams of Income (34:22) First Property on a Trainer's Salary (38:51) Training Pink, Alicia Keys and Nia Long (44:03) Sprint Intervals and VO2 Max (47:15) Jurnee Smollett as Black Canary (48:19) Stop Comparing Yourself (52:04) The No Negative Self-Talk Rule (55:20) Where to Find Jeanette (56:05) Farewell

  9. Jul 15

    Addict, Champion, Father, Friend | Ken Rideout

    Ken Rideout has a line he tells his kids when they look scared at sports. *Just learn how to do this scared.* It's the truest sentence he says in this episode. Because Ken has spent his whole life doing things that, by his own admission, half of him was sure would crush him. The fifty-five-year-old man across the chair from me has won a marathon world championship in his age group. He finished Ironmans, ran across the Gobi Desert, won HYROX, and finished sixth overall at Ironman Wisconsin. He runs ten miles a day, every day, and has for years. He looks like someone who decided, a long time ago, to be unafraid. He hasn't. He told me 49% of his brain is convinced, before every race, that he's going to get killed. This conversation is about that other 51% — and the long, complicated road of getting there. Ken talks about being a prison guard at eighteen. About making a million dollars a year by twenty-five with imposter syndrome so loud he was taking thirty Percocets a day to quiet it. About sobriety in 2010, the night his wife found him unconscious in the bathroom, the day he quit Ironman in Kona and the sting of that quit that he says has never left. We talk about the running, which he describes as empowerment *and* fear — that he doesn't actually know what to do with himself if he doesn't go. About body dysmorphia at fifty-five. About the voice that says *take a break, take a day off, come on, let's get high*, and how he answers it now. If you've ever wondered what it looks like to keep moving forward when half of you doesn't believe you can, this is your episode. You don't have to feel ready. You just have to learn how to do it scared. Follow Ken on Instagram @ken_rideout and get his book available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/ Thank you to our sponsor Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off Chapters (00:00) Welcome and Connection (00:37) Endurance Feats and Daily Runs (02:40) New Book and Life Chapters (03:39) Gobi March and Curiosity (05:19) Prison Guard Beginnings (07:01) First Days Behind Bars (09:25) From Prison to Wall Street (11:44) Trading Desk Culture (13:15) Imposter Syndrome and Fast Money (15:16) Opioid Addiction Timeline (17:52) Doctor Shopping and London Escalation (22:04) Rock Bottom and Getting Sober (24:56) Triggers Trauma and New Tools (25:48) Running as Recovery and Identity (28:00) Ironman Mindset and Extreme Training (32:03) Marathons vs Ultras (32:36) Gobi March Crash (33:03) Never Quit Mindset (34:52) Kenya Race Wildlife (37:11) Inner Voices Addiction (39:12) Body Image Self Talk (42:14) Wife Cancer Journey (43:12) Choosing Suffering Daily (45:15) Hard Work Wins (47:47) Racing Pain Reality (55:05) Unplugging and Uniform (57:29) Met Gala Thom Browne (01:01:28) Crowds Fights Farewell

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Always Growing with Kelsey Heenan goes behind the curtain with the trainers, comedians, athletes, doctors, and quiet experts you’d assume have arrived — to share the habits, the hurdles, and the never-before-told stories of what it actually took to get here. Each week, Kelsey sits down with someone she admires for a warm, unguarded conversation about the messy, ongoing work of growth — the part nobody puts on the highlight reel. Because growth has no finish line — and if we’re being honest, none of us ever fully arrives.