The Bad Creatives Podcast

Alexa Van

For weird, deep feelers, over-thinkers, and neurodivergent people. This is not a self-help podcast. It’s a space for existential inquiry, creative liberation, and questioning the invisible rules we live by—especially if you’ve never quite fit inside them. We dig deep, unmask, and discover how to live authentically.

Episodes

  1. Jan 22

    Make Bad Art —Unmasking the Creative Process

    The Bad Creatives Podcast with Alexa VanUnmasking as a creative isn’t just about “not giving a feck.” It’s about noticing all the little ways you’ve edited yourself out of your own art. Today I’m breaking down how I finally stopped performing the persona that used to “work,” why I walked away from the male-gaze version of my artist identity, and what it actually feels like to start creating from the real place underneath the mask.If you’re a sensitive artist type, or an autistic or ADHD creative who’s pivoting your art, shedding old personas, or terrified to “look bad” while evolving… this episode’s yours. We’re talking survival masking, audience pivots, perfectionism, vulnerability, and the ridiculous existential crisis that happens when you outgrow your first audience.This is the messy middle of being an artist: letting yourself be seen, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s slower. Even when the old version of you would’ve gotten more instant validation. If you’re unmasking your art, your business, or your actual life… you’re in the right place. Next week, I’m going into how I’ve been unmasking my creative process behind the scenes—not just what you see on the surface.* If you want to work with me 1:1 and start unmasking your art without burning out, the link is below.* More at: thebadcreatives.comTimestamps:00:00 Introduction: The Concept of Masking00:47 Personal Journey: Early Masking Experiences01:45 Understanding Masking and Its Implications02:04 Transitioning to Authenticity in Art04:22 The Role of Alter Egos in Art06:35 Evolving as an Artist: Breaking Free from Old Personas09:56 Challenges and Rewards of Unmasking13:05 Conclusion: Embracing Authenticity and FreedomFOR MORE EPISODES! You can find my back catalog on youtube. ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Thebadcreatives⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about my 6-month 1:1 coaching for artists & neurospicy misfits: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Change and Support 🖤 Work with Alexa Van or learn more: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 Connect with Alexa:Instagram: @thebadcreatives | @thebadalexavan TikTok: @thebadcreatives Substack: @thebadalexavan

  2. Jan 14

    You're Not Crazy, You're Overwhelmed

    Sometimes it’s not about the chess game. On this episode of The Bad Creatives Podcast, I talk about what happened when a low-stakes game with my boyfriend turned into me crying on the floor — and why moments like this make so many of us think, “Why am I like this?”If you’re autistic, AuDHD, highly sensitive, creatively wired, or just someone whose emotional reactions don’t always seem to match the moment, this episode is for you.We’re talking about alexithymia — a trait that makes it hard to identify and understand emotions — and how it shows up alongside autism, ADHD, PTSD, burnout, and sensitive nervous systems. When you don’t know what you’re feeling until your body forces it out, things can get confusing fast.In this episode, I break down:• Why small situations can trigger big emotional reactions• The difference between meltdowns, shutdowns, panic, and “overreacting”• Why logic fails when your nervous system is overloaded• How shame makes emotional overwhelm worse• What actually helps when you don’t realize you’re overwhelmed until it’s too lateThis isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding how your nervous system works — and learning how to support it instead of fighting it.If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “high functioning” while quietly falling apart, you’re not broken. You’re human. And you’re not alone.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction: Chess Meltdown00:40 Understanding Alexithymia01:31 Neurodiversity and Emotional Reactions02:51 High Functioning Autism Struggles03:36 The Chess Game Breakdown05:08 Meltdowns vs. Tantrums07:03 Coping Mechanisms and Self-Awareness14:44 Art and Special Interests as Therapy19:00 Somatic Practices and Rituals25:21 Self-Compassion and Accountability26:49 Conclusion and ResourcesI’m Alexa Van, host of The Bad Creatives Podcast — a space for weird, sensitive, creative, neurodivergent people trying to exist in a world that wasn’t built for them. FOR MORE EPISODES! You can find my back catalog on youtube. ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Thebadcreatives⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about my 6-month 1:1 coaching for artists & neurospicy misfits: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Change and Support 🖤 Work with Alexa Van or learn more: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ 📲 Connect with Alexa:Instagram: @thebadcreatives | @thebadalexavanTikTok: @thebadcreativesSubstack: @thebadalexavan

  3. Jan 8

    If You Feel Stuck, This Might Be Why

    This episode of The Bad Creatives Podcast is about power — how it gets taken from us, how we give it away without realizing it, and how to take it back without turning into a hustle-bro or a detached spiritual robot.We talk about feeling stuck, burnout, conditioning, masking, and that low-grade sense of “something is off but I can’t explain why.” If you’ve ever wondered why doing “all the right things” still leaves you exhausted, disconnected, or questioning your reality — this one’s for you.I’m Alexa Van, a weird little AuDHD artist living in the real world, trying to unlearn survival mode and reclaim my autonomy without blowing my life up. This podcast is where I talk about what I’m working on and what I’m working through — creativity, neurodivergence, unmasking, capitalism fatigue, self-trust, and why inner freedom matters more than external success.We get into:• what freedom actually means (hint: it’s not just money)• how conditioning and programming mess with your sense of self• why changing the outside of your life doesn’t fix what’s happening inside• reclaiming personal power without spiritual bypassing• listening to your inner voice instead of outsourcing your authority• why exhausted people are easier to control (and why that’s not an accident)This isn’t a motivational pep talk or a “just change your mindset” lecture. It’s a grounded, honest conversation about truth, self-trust, nervous system awareness, and remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.If you’re a creative, a misfit, a sensitive person, or someone who feels allergic to the way modern life is structured — you’re in the right place.If this resonates, subscribe to The Bad Creatives Podcast for conversations about creativity, neurodivergence, unmasking, self-advocacy, and building a life that actually feels like yours.And yeah… we might bash billionaires a little. But lovingly. Sort of.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction: The Quest for True Power00:43 Understanding Freedom and Illusions02:37 The Reality of Inner Change04:52 Reclaiming Personal Power08:23 The Journey to Self-Advocacy13:48 Embracing Inner Wisdom17:34 Conclusion: Empowerment and Truth FOR MORE EPISODES! You can find my back catalog on youtube. ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Thebadcreatives⁠⁠ Learn more about my 6-month 1:1 coaching for artists & neurospicy misfits: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠⁠⁠ Change and Support 🖤 Work with Alexa Van or learn more: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠⁠⁠📲 Connect with Alexa:Instagram: @thebadcreatives | @thebadalexavanTikTok: @thebadcreativesSubstack: @thebadalexavan#TheBadCreativesPodcast #AlexaVan #AutisticCreator #NeurodivergentArtist #InnerChange #Unmasking #FeelingStuck #FindingYourPath #SelfTrust #InnerFreedom #SelfGrowth #ReclaimYourPower

  4. Jan 1

    How To Leap Without Burning Out

    How do you actually know when it’s time to make a drastic change? Take a leap into the unknown?Not rage-quit. Not spiritual bypass. Not “burn it all down and hope the universe Venmos you.”In this episode of The Bad Creatives Podcast, I talk about how to know when you’ve truly outgrown a job, a relationship, a city, or a version of your life—and how to take a leap without recreating the same situation in a different costume.We unpack:Why the “leap of faith” myth is kind of BS• The difference between being ready and feeling deep internal dissonance• Why quitting without changing your foundation leads to lateral moves• How trauma, lack mentality, and survival mode keep us stuck• What it means to “pack a bag” emotionally, nervous-system-wise, and practically• Leaving situations that look good on the outside but feel wrong on the inside• Outgrowing addiction, relationships, environments, and identities• Why unmasking gives you real freedom—and makes you unexploitableI share personal stories about addiction recovery, leaving long-term relationships, getting pushed out of living situations, and dismantling patterns I thought I’d already healed. This is about leaving consciously, without self-abandoning, and landing somewhere you can actually stay.If you’re autistic, ADHD, neurodivergent, an artist, or just tired of forcing yourself into systems that were never built for you—this episode is for you.You’re not broken.Things aren’t working for a reason.And no—you’re not crazy for wanting something different.Topics include:Leaving a job, outgrowing relationships, life transitions, neurodivergent burnout, unmasking, nervous system regulation, creative freedom, trauma patterns, lack mentality, personal growth, intuitive decision making, and designing a life that actually feels like yours. FOR MORE EPISODES! You can find my back catalog on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/@ThebadcreativesLearn more about my 6-month 1:1 coaching for artists & neurospicy misfits:👉 ⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠Timestamps:⁠00:00⁠ Introduction: Knowing When It's Time to Move On⁠00:46⁠ The Myth of the Leap of Faith⁠01:19⁠ Packing Your Bag for the Unknown⁠01:52⁠ The Illusion of Readiness⁠02:13⁠ Recognizing the Feeling of Dissonance⁠02:54⁠ Breaking Free from Old Dynamics⁠03:34⁠ The Trap of Lateral Moves⁠04:18⁠ Changing the Foundation⁠05:10⁠ Knowing When You're Done⁠05:49⁠ Personal Story: Overcoming Addiction⁠07:15⁠ The Subtle Signs of Outgrowing Your Life⁠09:36⁠ The Fork in the Road⁠10:17⁠ The Courage to Leave a Good Situation⁠12:45⁠ The Unchosen Leap⁠16:02⁠ Seeing Past Illusions⁠18:16⁠ Designing a New Life⁠25:02⁠ The Importance of Unmasking⁠26:10⁠ Conclusion: Embracing Change and Support🖤 Work with Alexa Van or learn more:👉 ⁠https://www.thebadcreatives.com⁠📲 Connect with Alexa:Instagram: @thebadcreatives | @thebadalexavanTikTok: @thebadcreativesSubstack: @thebadalexavan⁠#TheBadCreativesPodcast⁠ ⁠⁠ ⁠#AutisticCreator⁠ #alexavan ⁠#NeurodivergentArtist⁠ ⁠#burnout⁠ ⁠#feminism⁠ #unmasking https://www.thebadcreatives.com/

    How To Leap Without Burning Out

About

For weird, deep feelers, over-thinkers, and neurodivergent people. This is not a self-help podcast. It’s a space for existential inquiry, creative liberation, and questioning the invisible rules we live by—especially if you’ve never quite fit inside them. We dig deep, unmask, and discover how to live authentically.