Honestly, We're Fine

Kristina and Heather
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

Honestly, We’re Fine is a podcast about what happens after surviving a mass shooting. Hosted by Kristina Anderson, a Virginia Tech survivor, and Heather Martin, a Columbine survivor, the channel brings conversations that often happen privately among survivors into the open. Together with guests, they talk honestly about recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, anniversaries, awkward questions, dark humor, and the complicated reality of moving forward.

Episodes

  1. 4d ago

    Dating After Surviving a School Shooting Is… Complicated | Ep. 3

    What do first dates, McDonald’s, and the seat facing the door have to do with surviving a mass shooting? In Episode 3 of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin talk about how trauma reshapes friendships, dating, marriage, and the way survivors explain themselves to people who weren't there. They reflect on the friends who could intuitively understand without explanation, the boyfriend who complained that Heather had “changed” after Columbine, and the pressure to prove to the outside world that trauma was serious enough. Kristina and Heather reflect on the everyday ways that surviving a mass shooting can follow you into a relationship, from deciding when to tell someone your story to needing the seat that faces the door in a crowded restaurant. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: Why survivors feel they have to prove their trauma 00:57 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 01:29 How surviving mass violence changes relationships 05:08 Heather’s survivor friendships after Columbine 08:52 Kristina finds healing with other Virginia Tech survivors 10:49 Feeling alone even when surrounded by people 13:25 “You’re not the same person you were before” 15:21 Rumors, memory, and calling home from Columbine 18:21 Why survivors remember the same event differently 19:12 The dark humor of “Ain’t Got Time to Die” 20:40 Who gets included in the survivor circle? 23:40 Not believing you “count” as a survivor 25:17 Why survivors may need support decades later 29:27 Why social acknowledgment matters to recovery 30:22 Why survivors feel pressure to prove their trauma 33:21 Feeling like you have to justify being traumatized 36:16 What people are really asking when they ask about the shooter 40:04 Finding survivor peer support before social media 43:36 Why peer support can matter more later 45:43 Dating after surviving a school shooting 47:19 “How long can I go without telling him?” 52:44 The McDonald’s fight that was really about trauma 55:46 Why facing the door can matter 59:59 How trauma triggers change over time 01:04:13 The fire alarm that triggered a panic attack 01:08:00 Going to college with another Columbine survivor 01:09:22 When Columbine became classroom material 01:11:34 How a supportive partner learns your patterns Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Website: https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

    Dating After Surviving a School Shooting Is… Complicated | Ep. 3

  2. Aug 11

    She Was 6 When She Survived a School Shooting. No One Talked About It. | Ep. 2

    What happens when a school shooting becomes a community’s unspeakable, hidden secret, and the people who survived it spend decades without talking about what happened, even with one another? In episode two of HONESTLY, WE’RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin sit down with Shannon Hill, who was six years old during the 1988 shooting at Oakland Elementary School in Greenwood, South Carolina. Shannon describes returning to class three short days later in a community that barely acknowledged what happened, then spending decades trying to understand why it still affected her trauma and experience. She shares how becoming a mother led her into a years-long fight for safer schools, why she finally told her husband the full story 30 years later, and how survivor connection, therapy, and returning to the school helped her begin to process what she had lived through. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Shequila Bradley and Tequila Thomas, and in honor of all of the survivors and the Oakland Elementary School community. HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE is an ongoing podcast where survivors of mass violence discuss candidly with each other about the years and decades that follow — recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, and the awkward, funny, complicated reality of moving forward. New episodes every other Tuesday. Content note This episode discusses school shootings, mass violence, trauma, media coverage, lockdowns, and long-term recovery. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: “I thought they would care” 00:51 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 02:30 Meet Shannon Hill 03:39 A school shooting no one in the community talked about 04:33 Finding other survivors after decades alone 06:03 How Bruce Springsteen brought Shannon and Heather together 07:26 The power of adding a second survivor voice 09:43 How becoming a mother sparked Shannon’s advocacy 10:46 She walked into her daughter’s unlocked school 13:02 The community’s “dirty secret” 15:25 Back in class three days after the shooting 16:00 The survivors didn't know they could talk about it1 7:07 Asking other survivors, “Do you ever think about it?” 18:21 “You are normal, and you are not broken” 20:46 Why survivors push for prevention before tragedy 22:02 Telling the school board what happened at age six 24:40 Explaining the “crazy safety mom” to her children 25:35 Telling her husband the full story 30 years later 29:26 Discovering how trauma shaped her childhood 32:25 Asking for school shooting drills at age 13 35:24 The teacher who tried to stop the gunman 36:23 Reuniting with her teacher decades later 39:19 Battling anxiety attacks with… wasp spray? 41:57 A workplace safety training triggers a panic attack 45:27 The fear of being dismissed as “overreacting” 47:37 When a child asks what adults are afraid to ask 50:44 Realizing she had to help herself, too 54:07 Returning to Oakland Elementary 57:20 Making space for survivors who are not ready to talk 59:17 Wasp spray, hockey pucks, or bullet proof backpacks - sponsors anyone?01:01:23 The jokes survivors can only make with each other 01:05:48 Recovery is a lifelong process 01:06:54 Kristina and Heather reflect on the conversation Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Website: https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

    She Was 6 When She Survived a School Shooting. No One Talked About It. | Ep. 2

  3. Jul 28

    How do you tell someone you survived a school shooting? | Ep. 1

    What happens when someone in your life discovers that you survived one of the most widely reported school shootings in U.S. history? In the first episode of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin talk about the complicated experience of telling people they are survivors. When do you share it? How much do you say? What questions do you wish you didn't have to answer? And how does it feel when someone Googles you before you have the chance to tell them yourself? HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE is an ongoing podcast where survivors of mass violence discuss candidly with each other about the years and decades that follow — recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, and the awkward, funny, complicated reality of moving forward. New episodes every other Tuesday. Content note This episode discusses school shootings, mass violence, trauma, media coverage, lockdowns, and long-term recovery. It does not contain graphic descriptions of violence. Chapters 00:00 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine. 00:57 Title sequence 01:09 Meet Kristina and Heather 02:24 Coming out as a survivor 02:39 Dark humor, trauma, and the rules of the show 05:50 Why survivor-to-survivor conversations matter 06:39 How the “trauma besties” met 09:58 Their first experiences with the media 12:43 Wanting to be known, but not interrogated 15:29 The validation that changed Heather’s recovery 18:07 Sharing your story one “breadcrumb” at a time 22:00 When people do not realize they are talking to a survivor 23:29 Heather tells her students about Columbine 26:38 Advocating for school safety as a Columbine survivor 30:16 “Please don’t tell me you Googled me” 34:21 When being Googled feels thoughtful 35:34 What survivors expect from journalists 40:35 Who gets the A, B, or C version of your story? 43:14 Why anniversaries feel different every year 46:05 Protecting birthdays and making room for joy 47:43 Bringing private survivor conversations into the open 49:35 Why fellow survivor leaders need each other 53:44 Outro Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/033UAuzNdZM5iHOPlLBI4j Website: https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

    How do you tell someone you survived a school shooting? | Ep. 1
  • 3 Episodes

About

Honestly, We’re Fine is a podcast about what happens after surviving a mass shooting. Hosted by Kristina Anderson, a Virginia Tech survivor, and Heather Martin, a Columbine survivor, the channel brings conversations that often happen privately among survivors into the open. Together with guests, they talk honestly about recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, anniversaries, awkward questions, dark humor, and the complicated reality of moving forward.

Information

  • Creator
    Kristina and Heather
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    3
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Kristina and Heather
  • Show Website
    Honestly, We're Fine