Don't Call Me Darling

Niall & Karen Boylan

Welcome to Don’t Call Me Darling, the podcast where award-winning broadcaster Niall Boylan and his wife Karen share the funny, frustrating and wonderfully familiar moments of married life. From kitchen-table disagreements to family dramas and the conversations couples usually keep behind closed doors, nothing is off limits. Expect warmth, laughter, honest opinions and two very different perspectives on love, relationships, family and modern life. Each week, Niall and Karen also unravel listeners’ real-life dilemmas, surprising confessions and impossible questions as they decide who’s right, who’s wrong and what they would do. Come for debate, stay for the chemistry, every week. “Remember… whatever you do this week, Don’t Call Me Darling!”

Episodes

  1. 3d ago

    #009 Lovebugs, Libido and Lying Husbands

    This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen Boylan ask why women refuse to believe a man can genuinely be thinking about absolutely nothing, and why “You pick the restaurant” actually means “Read my mind and choose the one I have already picked.” Would you tell your partner that you hate the way they dress, or keep quiet while they leave the house looking like a badly packed charity bag? Niall and Karen also discuss men, testosterone and why some would rather suffer in silence than admit their body might need a little assistance. Niall remembers learning to drive in his father’s 1979 Ford Fiesta, while Karen recalls her Alfa Romeo days. There is also a Fiat with no heating, a leaking exhaust and a hole in the floor. Luxury motoring at its finest. Karen spots two flies joined together at the bum while flying around Florida. Apparently, they are called lovebugs. Ahhh, how romantic. Even the insects are getting more action than some married couples. They also investigate Italy’s proposal to fine pedestrians who cross the road staring at their phones, Donald Trump’s apparently darker hair, and the tiny protected Doonbeg snail causing enormous problems at his golf resort. Has the next James Bond secretly been chosen, and could Slow Horses star Jack Lowden be the new 007? There are quick DIY teeth whitening tricks, and the important question of whether they whiten your teeth or simply remove the enamel. Niall and Karen also examine the surprising household dangers that begin appearing as we get older, when a loose rug becomes a potential assassin and getting out of the bath requires planning permission. There is also the so called honourable husband who cheated but apparently deserves a medal for staying, the benefits and dangers of couples sharing their locations, and a listener’s dilemma involving a husband getting far too saucy with Alina the Ukrainian. Plus, if you knew something shocking about the bride or groom, would you object during the church ceremony, keep quiet forever, or wait until after everyone had eaten? Expect marriage, mistrust, bad decisions, inappropriate behaviour and plenty of laughs.

    #009 Lovebugs, Libido and Lying Husbands

  2. Sep 6

    #008 The Geebag, the Gadget and the Cat in the Bedroom

    Niall and Karen are back with another gloriously unfiltered tour through marriage, holidays and the little things in life that drive us all mad. This week, Niall reveals the infamous “geebag” story, while Karen compares Cork and Dublin slang and discovers that the same words can have very different meanings depending on which side of the city you come from (Northsiders Vs Southsiders). There is plenty of holiday chaos too, including why travelling with children is less of a break and more of an expensive endurance test, Niall’s row over an airline WiFi voucher, shrinking plane seats, terrible films, questionable food and the unique horror of being trapped beside someone who keeps farting. They also discuss the fear of losing your luggage and the thought of customs rummaging through your underwear and any interesting gadgets you may have packed. Back at home, Niall and Karen tackle their thermostat cold war, the cat’s nightly demands, disappearing acts in supermarkets, talking through films, ridiculously long voice notes and why they always sit and sleep on the same sides wherever they go. They also discuss adding a little flavour to the bedroom with toys, the restaurant habits that ruin a good meal, including unbearably loud people at nearby tables, and this week’s big relationship dilemma: Would you leave your partner if you discovered they had been hiding a serious debt or secret spending problem? Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. It’s Episode 8 of Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan.

    #008 The Geebag, the Gadget and the Cat in the Bedroom

  3. Aug 31

    #007 Micro Mickeys, Dodgy Devices and Musty Hotels

    This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen are back with another gloriously chaotic mix of marriage, relationships, holidays, strange news stories and the kind of conversations that probably shouldn’t leave the house. We start with the soggy aftermath of Electric Picnic, including mud masks nobody asked for, questionable toilets, and the very important matter of Peequals. There’s also Rio, the dog who travelled 1,000 miles, cat bites, tiny toy dogs, and the extraordinary claim that children were apparently left traumatised by the heat of the Irish summer. Niall and Karen get into getting lost, the mysterious man in the white van, the nine year old boy who fell asleep in a library, and the curse of having little legs. Then Karen unleashes her inner oul wan in the nightclub, the staff are rude, the drink costs a fortune and, worst of all, the DJ is shite. This week’s listener dilemmas include a man who thinks he may be falling back in love with his ex wife, and another who discovered a mysterious ddo in his wife’s drawer** and now doesn’t know whether to confront her or pretend he never saw it. There are musty hotel rooms, the fiancé who cancelled the wedding just seven days before the big day, Niall’s dramatic airport personality change, and the battle between the person who wants to arrive at the airport ridiculously early and the last minute man who thinks five minutes before boarding is perfectly acceptable. We also get some wedding planning advice from an astrologer, discuss solar eclipses, Luna Lovegood, OnlyFans, and why Niall reckons the only subscription service he could make money from would involve people paying him to put more clothes on. Plus, there’s a huge black panther apparently on the prowl, the micro Mickey struggle, and Borat’s ex wife revealing the things that gave her the ick. It’s marriage, mayhem, bad decisions and far too much information. Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths.

    #007 Micro Mickeys, Dodgy Devices and Musty Hotels

  4. Aug 23

    #006 Budgie Smugglers, Brain Fog & Bloody Dishwashers

    This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen somehow manage to get from menopause to the Mona Lisa, with several marital disasters along the way. Karen talks brain fog, hormones and the joys of menopause, while Niall becomes strangely interested in the benefits of massaging chickens. Or was Karen actually talking about him? There’s sexy underwear in the bedroom, the fine art of moaning after years of marriage, and the questionable beauty treatment involving blasting your face with Sudocrem. They also tackle the husband who turned into a complete slob only a few years into marriage, bizarre dreams, accidentally sending WhatsApp messages to completely the wrong person, and the terrifying discovery that your partner might already be married. Then there’s Peadar the Alien, James Bond squeezed into his budgie smugglers, why does Piers Morgan and Daniel Craig purse his lips the annual holiday war over sun loungers, and possibly the greatest threat to any modern marriage: HOW TO LOAD THE BLOODY DISHWASHER PROPERLY. Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all that, Niall and Karen discuss the theft of the Mona Lisa. Marriage, menopause, misunderstandings and mild domestic warfare. Just another week on Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan.

    #006 Budgie Smugglers, Brain Fog & Bloody Dishwashers

  5. Aug 17

    #005 Irish Mammies, The Oul Wan Behind The Curtain & The Damn Immersion

    In this week’s Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall Boylan and his wife Karen are back with another hour of marriage, memories, Irish madness and the kind of arguments that only make sense when you’ve been together long enough to know exactly which buttons to press. They revisit some classic Irishisms, including The Irish Mammy: Medical Expert, Threatening Authority and Household Dictator, where Lucozade, flat 7Up, Vicks and Sudocrem apparently cured everything, while a spit covered hanky could remove half your face. Then there’s Irish Weddings: The Greatest Freak Show on Earth, complete with Uncle Johnny’s shirt hanging open, Auntie Mary dancing like she’s in Ibiza and children asleep across three chairs while the adults slowly lose all dignity. They also tackle The Irish Goodbye That Takes 45 Minutes, Irish Parents, the Immersion and the Household Bills, The Irish Family Holiday That Nearly Ends in Divorce, The Irish Neighbourhood Surveillance Network, Things Irish Parents Would Never Throw Out, Irish Nightclubs and Discos When We Were Young and Things Irish Couples Pretend They Don’t Argue About. And that’s before things really go off the rails. This week’s listener dilemma involves a husband who won a hamper on a work night out and then gave it away to a female colleague. His wife was absolutely furious. Was it a harmless act of generosity, or did he cross a line by giving another woman something he could have brought home? Niall and Karen also discuss the relentless misery that seems to follow the Joe Duffy show, an escaped snake in Glasgow, the neighbours from hell and the extraordinary discovery of a collection of gold bars, which immediately sends Niall into a rant about how unfair it is that somebody can find a fortune and still end up talking about a finder’s fee. Then Karen reveals that a friend had a dent removed from her car, giving Niall the perfect opportunity to explain the dent repair process in far more detail than anyone asked for, while discovering that almost every technical term involved seems to have a hilarious double meaning. It’s marriage, nostalgia, arguments, embarrassing memories and complete nonsense, all in one episode. Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths.

    #005 Irish Mammies, The Oul Wan Behind The Curtain & The Damn Immersion

  6. Aug 10

    #004 Hairy Growlers, Dirty Sambos & Creeping Jesus

    Don’t Call Me Darling, Episode 4 Niall and Karen Boylan are back with another episode of Don’t Call Me Darling, where marriage, relationships, everyday annoyances and complete nonsense all end up on the table. This week, they tackle everything from wooden knives and forks that feel horrible in your mouth, to the terrifying experience of having a backseat driver beside you, complete with imaginary brakes and dramatic gasps every time you approach a roundabout. There’s also a trip to Coronation Street, where it seems half the residents are either in jail, heading to jail or probably should be, plus a look at Irish drinking culture, the people who refuse to accept “I don’t drink” as an answer, dodgy pub sandwiches and why a kebab suddenly looks like fine dining after a night out. Niall and Karen also ask why airplane food is so bad, reminisce about the unique experience of flying Aeroflot, and debate whether the whole tradwife thing is really as terrible as people make it out to be. Then things get even more personal. If someone gives you a cheap engagement ring, should you give it back? How soon is too soon to move on after the death of a partner? Are pet names for your other half sweet or just embarrassing? And what happens when your partner calls you something you absolutely hate? There’s also Milo the dinosaur, or is he actually a dog?, a conversation about hairy women and hairy growlers, and the strange things couples discover they apparently have very different opinions about. And if that isn’t enough, there’s music nobody can remember properly, including four fellas trying to identify the same song with completely different lyrics, plus a look at the alignment of the planets and so called planet parades, and whether staring up at the night sky makes us feel insignificant or just gives Niall another excuse to buy something expensive. As always, it’s Niall and Karen talking about everything and anything, agreeing, disagreeing, laughing at each other and giving listeners another glimpse into what life is really like behind the microphones.

    #004 Hairy Growlers, Dirty Sambos & Creeping Jesus

  7. Aug 7

    #003 Hookers, Separate Beds And Secret Messages

    Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan is the podcast where a husband and wife give their honest, unfiltered opinions on the stories, relationship dilemmas and social issues that affect us all. Nothing is off the table, and this week’s episode covers everything from hookers and paternity fraud to the far more important question of whether Niall and Karen would like to own a baby goat. They also tackle some of the arguments and awkward questions that come up in almost every relationship. Should married couples sleep in separate bedrooms to avoid snoring and duvet stealing? Should couples share their phone passwords, or is everyone entitled to some privacy? Is it acceptable to return a present you secretly hate, and should you ever tell your partner that their outfit looks terrible? Should be grounds for divorce, and whether couples should reveal their full sexual history or simply accept that the past is the past. It is honest, intriguing, occasionally uncomfortable and full of laughs as Niall and Karen disagree, overshare and say the things most couples are probably thinking but would never dare say out loud.

    #003 Hookers, Separate Beds And Secret Messages

  8. Aug 7

    #002 Put Me In A Bag, Thirty Quid for a Seat and Leaving The Toilet Door Open

    In this episode of Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen Boylan sit down for an honest, funny and occasionally uncomfortable chat about marriage, death, relationships and the strange habits couples develop over time. They begin with funerals, from the famous dancing pallbearers seen online to the very different traditions of an Irish wake. Why do Irish people stand beside an open coffin and say things like, “He looks so peaceful,” or, “I never saw her looking so well”? Niall and Karen also ask whether couples should discuss their own funeral wishes, including whether they want to be buried, cremated or laid to rest beside each other for eternity. They also discuss budget airlines, hidden charges and why a cheap flight suddenly costs three times the advertised price once you add a seat, a bag and the privilege of sitting beside your own husband or wife. Marriage counselling is also up for debate. Does it actually work, or is needing a third party to explain how to love, trust and communicate a sign that the relationship is already in serious trouble? Niall and Karen also discuss the husband who does not want children, but may have forgotten to mention that fairly important detail to his wife. Can a marriage survive when two people want completely different futures, and should something as serious as having children ever be left until after the wedding? They also take a look at the old junk gathering dust in attics across the country. Could that forgotten ornament, battered toy, old record or box of family clutter actually be worth a fortune, and how much valuable treasure is being thrown into skips every year? And finally, have couples become far too comfortable around each other? From leaving the bathroom door open to cutting toenails in the sitting room, Niall and Karen ask whether complete comfort is a sign of true love or the fastest way to kill romance. Expect plenty of laughter, disagreement, personal confessions and the kind of conversations every married couple has, but usually only behind closed doors. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths..

    #002 Put Me In A Bag, Thirty Quid for a Seat and Leaving The Toilet Door Open

  9. Aug 7

    #001 Don't Call Me Darling: Her Husband Wears Her Knickers!

    Welcome to the brand new podcast where broadcaster Niall Boylan and his wife, Karen, discuss everything and anything. From the biggest stories in the news to the arguments taking place in bedrooms, kitchens and family WhatsApp groups, absolutely nothing is off the table. This week, Niall and Karen discuss whether married couples should keep their money separate and when adult children should finally be told to leave home. The listeners have also been in touch with some extraordinary marital dilemmas. One woman discovered that her husband had been secretly wearing her underwear and using her make-up. Another husband feels as though he is married to an entire committee because his wife shares every argument with her friends. Meanwhile, one woman wants her husband to cut contact with a former girlfriend, but he insists they are now simply friends. Expect disagreements, uncomfortable confessions, plenty of laughter and an honest husband versus wife perspective on relationships, marriage and modern life. Welcome to Don’t Call Me Darling, where Niall and Karen may not always agree, but neither of them will be keeping quiet.

    #001 Don't Call Me Darling: Her Husband Wears Her Knickers!
  • 9 Episodes

About

Welcome to Don’t Call Me Darling, the podcast where award-winning broadcaster Niall Boylan and his wife Karen share the funny, frustrating and wonderfully familiar moments of married life. From kitchen-table disagreements to family dramas and the conversations couples usually keep behind closed doors, nothing is off limits. Expect warmth, laughter, honest opinions and two very different perspectives on love, relationships, family and modern life. Each week, Niall and Karen also unravel listeners’ real-life dilemmas, surprising confessions and impossible questions as they decide who’s right, who’s wrong and what they would do. Come for debate, stay for the chemistry, every week. “Remember… whatever you do this week, Don’t Call Me Darling!”

Information

  • Creator
    Niall & Karen Boylan
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Niall & Karen Boylan
  • Show Website
    Don't Call Me Darling