Don't Call Me Darling

Niall & Karen Boylan
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Welcome to Don’t Call Me Darling, the podcast where award-winning broadcaster Niall Boylan and his wife Karen share the funny, frustrating and wonderfully familiar moments of married life. From kitchen-table disagreements to family dramas and the conversations couples usually keep behind closed doors, nothing is off limits. Expect warmth, laughter, honest opinions and two very different perspectives on love, relationships, family and modern life. Each week, Niall and Karen also unravel listeners’ real-life dilemmas, surprising confessions and impossible questions as they decide who’s right, who’s wrong and what they would do. Come for debate, stay for the chemistry, every week. “Remember… whatever you do this week, Don’t Call Me Darling!”

  1. 1d ago

    #015 Karen’s A Latin Lovely, Niall’s Got A Gay Admirer & Auntie’s Got A Moustache!

    It's another episode of Don't Call Me Darling, where Niall and Karen prove once again that no subject is off limits, no memory is too embarrassing and absolutely nothing is sacred! This week, the pair get their heads around the bizarre idea of a washable condom, wonder why ageing pop stars refuse to retire and take a hilarious look back at the filthy lyrics we all innocently sang as children without having a clue what they actually meant! Do men ever really grow up, or do they just swap their toys for video games, superheroes and expensive gadgets? Niall also takes a nostalgic trip back to Christmas at Granny's in the 1960s, complete with Babycham, cigarettes, the Pope on television and an auntie with a moustache who demanded a kiss in exchange for 50p! And speaking of moustaches, what's the story with a newborn baby apparently arriving with a fully grown one? There's more family embarrassment as Niall remembers the day his little brother called their mother a wanker, while Karen recalls being compared to Gloria Estefan! We also discover Niall has a gay admirer, revisit the legendary Lilac Centre, Tomorrow's World, the early days of home computers and Niall's first technological adventures. And things get even more ridiculous with 50p to see your t**s, booby birds, the helicopter dance and Niall's Ding-A-Ling! Karen confesses to her first cigarette and declares war on useless cracked screen protectors and the pair wonder whether childhood innocence has disappeared altogether. Then there's the controversial new campaign about hugging grandchildren. Niall and Karen ask whether we've completely lost the plot and why grandparents suddenly seem to need permission to show affection! In this week's listener dilemma, 'The Hobby Hubby', one woman is struggling with her husband's obsession with his hobbies. Is he entitled to his own interests, or is he neglecting his marriage? There's also a lovely email from a listener who's thoroughly enjoying the show, before Niall has another moan about the miserable Irish weather and Karen decides she's had enough and is moving somewhere sunny! Marriage, memories, madness, moustaches and plenty of inappropriate laughter. It's another gloriously unfiltered episode of Don't Call Me Darling! Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths.

    #015 Karen’s A Latin Lovely, Niall’s Got A Gay Admirer & Auntie’s Got A Moustache!

  2. Oct 19

    #014 Niall’s a Gynaecologist, Karen Loves Viktor & My Husband’s a Prick!

    It's another week of marital madness, hilarious disagreements, outrageous conversations and plenty of laughs as Niall and Karen return with Episode 14 of Don't Call Me Darling! This week, Niall takes a trip down memory lane with his favourite old TV shows, including For the Love of Ada, Talking Pictures TV and The Footage Detectives. There's also Arthur's Mailbag, some wonderfully ridiculous names like Mr Pickles and Bunny Carr, and the mystery of why we say things like "Let's be frank!" Karen reveals more menopausal madness involving her friend Dee, while Niall wonders whether his wife is getting a little too close to Viktor, the AI assistant in her car! Is there room for another man in this marriage, even if he lives in the dashboard? The couple also get stuck into flying cars, bizarre car launches, Miss Ireland, a giant butt statue and the Irish obsession with shouting "Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph!" even when you're not remotely religious. And speaking of strange things, Niall has apparently been told he looks like Mick Jagger! Karen might have something to say about that! There's another explosive listener dilemma from a wife who's had enough of her husband drinking too much, doing feck all around the house and generally being, in her own words, "a prick!" Should she put up with him or show him the door? Plus, Niall has a rant about bloody bike lanes, and the pair ask whatever happened to good old-fashioned customer service. From KFC to McDonald's, have those enormous self-service ordering screens made something as simple as buying a burger a complete pain in the backside? It's nostalgia, menopause, marital moaning, mad technology and plenty of Irish humour. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. Join Niall and Karen for another funny, frank and occasionally outrageous episode of Don't Call Me Darling, where nothing is off limits and agreeing with each other is entirely optional!

    #014 Niall’s a Gynaecologist, Karen Loves Viktor & My Husband’s a Prick!

  3. Oct 12

    Karen's Gone Deaf, Niall's Having a Whizz & The Cat's a Killer

    It's another week of marital madness, outrageous confessions and plenty of laughs as Niall and Karen return with a brand new episode of Don't Call Me Darling, the podcast where absolutely nothing is off limits! Karen's bang on the head seems to be having some lasting effects, especially when she goes shopping and forgets the sugar and bog roll. Meanwhile, the family cat Cinnamon brings home a rather unwelcome present, and Karen's deteriorating hearing is causing a few problems, particularly when it comes to those intimate moments in the bedroom! Niall recalls a hilarious nightclub story, they discuss what it means to be sent to Coventry, and there's the curious case of the smoking doctor. There's also the mysterious Urinator, Niall's unfortunate need for a whizz, a theft at Holy Cross and Lilly's Holy Water font. Even a Wicklow county councillor gets dragged into the madness after a scary TikTok post goes viral. Things get even more embarrassing when Niall confesses to his late father about the 50p porn cinema he once operated in his bedroom! And just when you thought married life couldn't get any more exciting, the couple tackle the great domestic debates, including top loading washing machines, the correct way to load a tumble dryer and how to get rid of moss and algae. There's talk of "linner", why men seem to struggle with babies and the smell of death lurking in a dirty nappy, the Wimbledon Wombles, Rolex watch faces and a little James Bond 007 thrown in for good measure. Niall and Karen also tackle their latest listener dilemmas, debate why we desperately need more bank holidays and holidays in general, and somehow end up discussing lickers, suckers and slurpers while getting stuck into Moules Marinière! It's marriage, mayhem, embarrassing confessions and the kind of conversations most couples probably shouldn't have in public. Join Niall and Karen for another hilarious episode of Don't Call Me Darling, where the arguments are real, the stories are ridiculous and there's never a dull moment! Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. Got a relationship problem, a funny story or a dilemma you'd like Niall and Karen to tackle? Email Karen@niallboylan.com. And don't forget to follow the podcast on Spotify and share it with your friends and family. Everyone could do with a laugh!

    Karen's Gone Deaf, Niall's Having a Whizz & The Cat's a Killer

  4. Oct 5

    Love Rats, Common Streels & Rubbing Gee on Potatoes

    Karen’s taken a bang on the head, but thankfully it hasn’t stopped her talking, and this week Don’t Call Me Darling is all over the place in the best possible way. Niall has a LOT to say about Aer Lingus WiFi and why getting the password sometimes feels like trying to uncover the Third Secret of Fatima. They also discuss the lost art of putting pen to paper, leaving the house looking like a complete state, the fake sick voice employees put on when ringing the boss and that strange phenomenon where your illness suddenly becomes their illness. Plus, are the days of nicking office stationery finally over? Is a woman’s body hair anybody’s business but her own? Niall and Karen get into loverats, cheaters and relationship boundaries, before discussing the 62 year old woman who packed in her crappy job, went travelling around the world and says she has absolutely no regrets. There’s also “gooning”, the bizarre and potentially dangerous Gen Z trend, Meghan Markle’s Advent Calendar, Tom Cruise apparently keeping chivalry alive and, for reasons nobody can quite explain, the return of the ghee as Chef Fatty reveals his roast potato secrets. And if that isn’t enough, Larry the Cat makes an appearance, there’s a baked beans world record and possibly a few windy days ahead. Finally, this week’s Listener Dilemma: ROAD RAGE! When another driver sends you over the edge, how far is too far? It’s marriage, arguments, laughs, nonsense and absolutely no filter. Don’t Call Me Darling, with Niall & Karen.

    Love Rats, Common Streels & Rubbing Gee on Potatoes

  5. Sep 28

    #011 Karen for Taoiseach, Sex With Machines & Best Before Bollocks

    Episode Eleven of Don’t Call Me Darling sees Niall and Karen getting stuck into politics, relationships, attraction, religion, friendship and, somehow, a woman who married a bus. Could Karen ever enter politics? She has a few things to say about the Social Democrats, while Niall looks back at Bertie Ahern and remembers his own days with Real Radio. Then things take a slightly stranger turn with mechanophilia, the sexual attraction to machines, including the story of a 35 year old woman who actually married her bus. Back at home, Niall has a few complaints about Karen throwing perfectly good food in the bin because of best before dates, along with arguments over sausages, rashers, squeezing the bread and exactly who knows what they are doing in the kitchen. They also ask whether either of them would survive modern dating if they suddenly found themselves single, whether couples really need to sleep in the same bed to stay close and the ridiculous little things couples pretend they never argue about. Is life actually better with children or without them? Is intelligence sexy? And when it comes to physical attraction, does size really matter, or are we all far more obsessed with weight and appearance than we admit? Somehow, Pierce Brosnan and his Remington Steele days enter the conversation too. Destiny Divine joins the discussion as Karen attempts the seemingly impossible task of convincing Niall to believe in God. There is also the art of haggling. Would you ever ask for a better price, and can Niall rely on his legendary charm to talk his way into a bargain? Following the debate around Ed Sheeran, Niall and Karen ask another question: how important are close friends as you get older, and how many of the people we call friends are actually true friends? And finally, this week’s Listener Dilemma could test even the strongest marriage: “My wife wants her mother to move in.” Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. It’s Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan.

    #011 Karen for Taoiseach, Sex With Machines & Best Before Bollocks

  6. Sep 21

    #010 Bras, Bites and Bedroom Battles

    This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen Boylan tackle the questions every couple thinks about but probably should not ask. Should you ever reveal your “magic number,” or is your sexual history one figure best buried with the exes? Is sharing your location a sign of trust, or simply twenty four hour surveillance with a loving smile? They also discuss how much sex is “normal” in a marriage, and what happens when one partner wants far more intimacy than the other. Niall explains why supermarkets seem deliberately designed to separate couples, and why the most loving thing a man can do when his wife goes clothes shopping is leave immediately and keep his opinions to himself. They also ask whether money really buys happiness after spotting a wealthy, glamorous couple who looked absolutely miserable, although Niall admits he would still prefer to be miserable in a large house with the heating on. Karen reveals her latest collection of mystery insect bites, while they debate whether looking through your partner’s phone should be grounds for divorce and whether working from home is quietly destroying relationships. There is also the important business of naming the pandas at Fota Wildlife Park, although Niall is not entirely convinced they are actually pandas, plus why Karen can never successfully surprise him. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths, with plenty more along the way.

    #010 Bras, Bites and Bedroom Battles

  7. Sep 13

    #009 Lovebugs, Libido and Lying Husbands

    This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen Boylan ask why women refuse to believe a man can genuinely be thinking about absolutely nothing, and why “You pick the restaurant” actually means “Read my mind and choose the one I have already picked.” Would you tell your partner that you hate the way they dress, or keep quiet while they leave the house looking like a badly packed charity bag? Niall and Karen also discuss men, testosterone and why some would rather suffer in silence than admit their body might need a little assistance. Niall remembers learning to drive in his father’s 1979 Ford Fiesta, while Karen recalls her Alfa Romeo days. There is also a Fiat with no heating, a leaking exhaust and a hole in the floor. Luxury motoring at its finest. Karen spots two flies joined together at the bum while flying around Florida. Apparently, they are called lovebugs. Ahhh, how romantic. Even the insects are getting more action than some married couples. They also investigate Italy’s proposal to fine pedestrians who cross the road staring at their phones, Donald Trump’s apparently darker hair, and the tiny protected Doonbeg snail causing enormous problems at his golf resort. Has the next James Bond secretly been chosen, and could Slow Horses star Jack Lowden be the new 007? There are quick DIY teeth whitening tricks, and the important question of whether they whiten your teeth or simply remove the enamel. Niall and Karen also examine the surprising household dangers that begin appearing as we get older, when a loose rug becomes a potential assassin and getting out of the bath requires planning permission. There is also the so called honourable husband who cheated but apparently deserves a medal for staying, the benefits and dangers of couples sharing their locations, and a listener’s dilemma involving a husband getting far too saucy with Alina the Ukrainian. Plus, if you knew something shocking about the bride or groom, would you object during the church ceremony, keep quiet forever, or wait until after everyone had eaten? Expect marriage, mistrust, bad decisions, inappropriate behaviour and plenty of laughs.

    #009 Lovebugs, Libido and Lying Husbands

  8. Sep 6

    #008 The Geebag, the Gadget and the Cat in the Bedroom

    Niall and Karen are back with another gloriously unfiltered tour through marriage, holidays and the little things in life that drive us all mad. This week, Niall reveals the infamous “geebag” story, while Karen compares Cork and Dublin slang and discovers that the same words can have very different meanings depending on which side of the city you come from (Northsiders Vs Southsiders). There is plenty of holiday chaos too, including why travelling with children is less of a break and more of an expensive endurance test, Niall’s row over an airline WiFi voucher, shrinking plane seats, terrible films, questionable food and the unique horror of being trapped beside someone who keeps farting. They also discuss the fear of losing your luggage and the thought of customs rummaging through your underwear and any interesting gadgets you may have packed. Back at home, Niall and Karen tackle their thermostat cold war, the cat’s nightly demands, disappearing acts in supermarkets, talking through films, ridiculously long voice notes and why they always sit and sleep on the same sides wherever they go. They also discuss adding a little flavour to the bedroom with toys, the restaurant habits that ruin a good meal, including unbearably loud people at nearby tables, and this week’s big relationship dilemma: Would you leave your partner if you discovered they had been hiding a serious debt or secret spending problem? Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths. It’s Episode 8 of Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan.

    #008 The Geebag, the Gadget and the Cat in the Bedroom
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About

Welcome to Don’t Call Me Darling, the podcast where award-winning broadcaster Niall Boylan and his wife Karen share the funny, frustrating and wonderfully familiar moments of married life. From kitchen-table disagreements to family dramas and the conversations couples usually keep behind closed doors, nothing is off limits. Expect warmth, laughter, honest opinions and two very different perspectives on love, relationships, family and modern life. Each week, Niall and Karen also unravel listeners’ real-life dilemmas, surprising confessions and impossible questions as they decide who’s right, who’s wrong and what they would do. Come for debate, stay for the chemistry, every week. “Remember… whatever you do this week, Don’t Call Me Darling!”

Information

  • Creator
    Niall & Karen Boylan
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    15
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Niall & Karen Boylan
  • Show Website
    Don't Call Me Darling

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