The Shit Nobody Says Out Loud: Real Talk on Life, Systems & Survival

Jessica LeMaster
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I have a lot of shit to say. Sometimes it’s parenting. Sometimes it’s adulthood, schools, special education, grief, advocacy, relationships, or some completely random thing that got stuck in my head and wouldn’t leave. Some episodes are serious. Some are funny. Some are basically me ranting because something makes absolutely no f*****g sense. I question things. I overthink things. I get pissed off. I laugh at shit I probably shouldn’t. And sometimes I start talking about one thing and end up somewhere completely different. I don’t have everything figured out. I’m usually trying to make it

Episodes

  1. Aug 16

    Oh F**k, That’s Me.

    I spent years teaching my kids to talk, ask questions, use their words, think for themselves, and speak up when something doesn’t make sense. Turns out I did a really f*****g good job. Because now I have a daughter who questions my logic, catches the holes in my explanations, has an opinion about everything, and can communicate an entire thought with one look on her face. And the worst part is I know exactly where she gets it. This episode is basically me realizing how f*****g annoying it can be to parent someone who is exactly like you while simultaneously trying to teach them how to manage shit you’re still not particularly great at managing yourself. Apparently I wanted her to have a voice. I just didn’t realize she was going to use it on me.

  2. Aug 13

    I Don’t Do Nature. He Doesn’t Do School.

    My husband and I have been married long enough that we’ve each somehow ended up with our own departments. Bugs, blood, animals and anything involving nature? Absolutely his problem. The kids and school? Apparently mine. Which would be completely reasonable if I hadn’t learned all of this shit because somebody had to. So now I’m trying to figure out where the line is between dividing a life based on what each person is good at and accidentally making something one person’s responsibility forever because they were the first one willing to figure it out. I have no answers. And I’m still not dealing with the snake.

  3. Aug 11

    Adulthood Was Falsely Advertised

    When you’re a kid, being an adult sounds f*****g amazing. Your own money. Your own house. Nobody telling you what to do. Complete freedom. Then you grow up and realize you can absolutely do whatever the f**k you want, as long as you can afford it, schedule it, clean it up afterward, make sure nobody needs you, and deal with the consequences. I’m 37. I have questions about the terms and conditions nobody mentioned.

  4. Aug 11

    You Have Rights. Now Figure Out How to Use Them.

    I’ve been down this f*****g IDEA rabbit hole for way too long, and apparently I’m not getting out of it yet. Because the more I read about what IDEA was supposed to do for parents, the more I keep thinking about what it actually looks like when a real parent tries to use any of it. You have rights. You have procedural safeguards. You can disagree. You can file a complaint. You can request due process. You can ask for mediation. Cool. Now you’re a parent whose kid is already struggling, you’re worried, you probably have a million other things happening in your life, and somebody hands you a packet explaining all of these protections. Figure out which one applies. Figure out what happened. Figure out whether it violated IDEA. Figure out what process you’re supposed to use. And if you get it wrong, figure out why. The protections exist. I’m not questioning that. I’m questioning what those protections actually mean if parents can’t realistically figure out how the f**k to use them.

  5. Aug 11

    What the F**k Is a Parent Supposed to Do?

    This whole f*****g thing started because I wanted an answer to what I thought was a pretty basic question about Child Find. How much information does a school district need before there is reason to suspect a kid may have a disability and need special education? That question has now somehow turned into DESE complaints, dismissed complaints, Sunshine requests, state plans, training materials, emails, and an absolutely ridiculous number of folders on my computer. And I still have questions. So this episode is basically me trying to talk through how the hell I got here, what I keep finding, why I can’t make some of it make sense, and why I haven’t been able to just let it go. Because at this point, my biggest question isn’t even about me. If I know this shit and I’m having this much trouble getting a straight answer, what the f**k is a parent supposed to do?

  6. Aug 11

    But Did We Actually Help the Kid?

    The behavior went down. The chart looks better. Fewer office referrals. Less refusal. The kid is staying in class. Great. But did we actually help the kid? Because getting a kid to stop doing something and figuring out why they were doing it in the first place are not the same thing. And sometimes they look exactly the same in the data. This is me talking through behavior, the stories adults start telling about kids, what happens when “refused task” turns into “defiant” or “unmotivated,” and why I keep coming back to one question: What actually changed for the kid?

  7. Aug 11

    Common Doesn’t Mean Normal

    I hear some version of “that’s just how it works” all the time. Schools. State agencies. Child welfare systems. Different people, different organizations, different situations, but somehow the same explanation keeps showing up. And lately I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to confuse something happening all the time with that thing actually being normal. In this episode, I’m talking about the dysfunction we get used to seeing, the parents who start apologizing for asking questions, the kids stuck waiting while adults figure out whose responsibility something is, and why seeing the same problem over and over should probably make us ask more questions, not fewer. Common means it happens a lot. That doesn’t automatically mean it’s okay.

  8. Aug 11

    The Notebook Paper Mom

    I keep thinking about Band-Aids. I love what I do. I love when I can help a parent finally understand what’s happening, get an answer they’ve been trying to get, or get a kid something they actually need. Those wins matter. But then the phone rings again. Different parent. Different kid. Different district. Somehow, way too often, the same damn problem. In this episode, I’m talking through something I’ve been struggling with lately: what it feels like to keep helping one family at a time while realizing how many of the problems showing up at my door aren’t really individual problems at all. You absolutely put the Band-Aid on when someone is bleeding. I’m just not sure I’m okay spending the rest of my life handing out Band-Aids.

  9. Aug 9

    Grief is F*****g Weird

    Grief doesn't follow a neat timeline, and it certainly doesn't make sense. From getting wrecked out of nowhere at a wall of training bras to the realization that there's no age where you stop wanting your mom, Jess shares an unfiltered look at the randomness, humor, and quiet weight of losing a parent.

  10. Aug 9

    What if I’m doing this wrong?

    Knowing a lot about something professionally is a pain in the ass when it's your own kid and you still have no f*****g clue what to do. In this episode, Jess breaks down the exhausting mental loop of overthinking every decision, desperately needing a therapist to tell her "Am I f*****g this up?", and the reality that parenting doesn't come with an answer key.

  11. Aug 9

    Am I Crazy?

    I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I was a parent with a kid struggling at school, trusting the people who knew the system because I didn’t. Then I found an educational advocate. She sat down next to me and made it make sense. This is where my advocacy story started, why “Am I crazy?” became such a familiar question, and why I care so much about helping other parents understand the process and know what questions they can ask.

  • 11 Episodes

About

I have a lot of shit to say. Sometimes it’s parenting. Sometimes it’s adulthood, schools, special education, grief, advocacy, relationships, or some completely random thing that got stuck in my head and wouldn’t leave. Some episodes are serious. Some are funny. Some are basically me ranting because something makes absolutely no f*****g sense. I question things. I overthink things. I get pissed off. I laugh at shit I probably shouldn’t. And sometimes I start talking about one thing and end up somewhere completely different. I don’t have everything figured out. I’m usually trying to make it

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