The Imposter’s Guide to Authentic Leadership

Lori Kirksted
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  • Self-Improvement
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You got promoted because you were great at your job. So why does being the boss feel like starting over? The people-pleasing instincts that got you promoted aren't the ones that make you good at leading people. Host Lori Kirksted found that out the hard way and wrote a book about it. A lot of high-achieving people succeed not only because they're good at what they do, but because they go above and beyond, make sure everyone around them is okay, and never want to be the reason anything goes wrong. For a long time, that works really well. Then you're in charge, and you can't keep everyone happy and make the right call at the same time. You can't lead from the outside in, waiting for approval that may never come, and expect to build a team that trusts you when you don't even trust yourself. This series is based on the book of the same name, so if anything you hear speaks to you, that's where to go next for the full framework and the leadership activity prompts. Buy the book here: https://a.co/d/0grNYLyg

Season 1

  1. Episode 1

    Episode 1: From Layoff to Liftoff

    If you have ever built your identity around a job and then lost it, this one is for you. I was at one company for eight and a half years, and it ended on a call titled "catch-up." I dropped an f-bomb when I heard the news, and I am not sorry about it. This episode is about what I sat with once the job was gone and the identity I had built around it went with it, and about how Dr. Bill George's framework for authentic leadership found me in the middle of that unraveling, at the exact point when I needed a way to think about who I was without a title attached to my name.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0grNYLyg

  2. Episode 2

    Episode 2: From Doing the Work to Building People Who Can

    If you are still doing your team's work for them because it is faster than teaching someone else to do it, this one is for you. For a long time I believed that fixing everything myself made me a good manager. Then a writer on my team got steamrolled by a client, and I stepped in to smooth it over. I taught her the wrong lesson that day, then taught it to her again a few weeks later before I understood what I was actually doing every time I took a problem out of her hands instead of helping her solve it.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  3. Episode 3

    Episode 3: From Passing the Buck to Owning the Call

    If you are dreading the moment when a call you made goes wrong, this one is for you. During the COVID hiring boom, I hired three people at once. Two of them were great. One was not, and that one was mine to own. I spent weeks finding ways to explain that hire that did not start with my own judgment, until I ran out of other places to point. This episode is about what it actually costs to say a bad call was yours before you have any idea what happens next.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  4. Episode 4

    Episode 4: From One of the Team to the One in Charge

    If you just got promoted and do not know how to be approachable and in charge at the same time, this one is for you. One day you are in the group chat complaining along with everyone else. The next day you are the thing they are complaining about, and nobody sends you the screenshots anymore. I spent months trying to stay one of the group after I had stopped being one of the group, and the mistake that came out of that is the whole episode.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  5. Episode 5

    Episode 5: From Idealism to the Reality of the System

    If your values have been slowly eroding under a system you do not control, this episode names that erosion for what it is. I walked into leadership with a clear picture of the leader I wanted to be. Then the system pushed back, in the form of a year of restructuring and a top performer reassigned with zero explanation given to either of us. This is about what happens to your idealism when it runs into something bigger than you, and what is left standing once it does.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  6. Episode 6

    Episode 6: Purpose — Why Being Needed Isn't the Same as Having Purpose

    If your sense of value has always come from being needed, this episode draws a distinction worth knowing before you have to learn it the hard way. Being needed feels almost exactly like having purpose, and mixing the two up cost me years I did not need to lose. After my layoff, the messages that meant something to me had nothing to do with pipeline numbers or performance reviews. That gap, between what I thought mattered and what actually did, is where this episode lives.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  7. Episode 7

    Episode 7: Values — You Know What You Believe. Now Say It Out Loud.

    If you can name exactly what you believe but go quiet the moment it actually counts, this one is for you. I could always tell you my values without hesitating. Saying them out loud when it cost me something turned out to be a different skill entirely, one I had never actually practiced. A team member finally asked me straight out why I had not just told her what I thought, and that question is the reason this episode exists.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  8. Episode 8

    Episode 8: Heart — Absorbing Everyone's Feelings Isn't Helping Them

    If you are the leader everyone vents to and nothing on your team ever actually improves, this episode explains why that pattern keeps repeating. I believed an open door made me a good leader. It took me far too long to notice my calendar was the same conversation on repeat, week after week, changing nothing for anyone involved, including me.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  9. Episode 9

    Episode 9: Relationships — Being Liked Won't Save You When It Counts

    If you have ever wondered whether your work relationships would actually hold up under real pressure, this one is for you. Two layoffs taught me two very different lessons. The first one wrecked me, because I had confused being liked with being safe, and found out the hard way those are not the same thing. By the second layoff, I understood the difference, and this episode is about what changed in between.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  10. Episode 10

    Episode 10: Self-Discipline — Knowing When to Stop Is the Real Skill

    Episode 10: Self-Discipline — Knowing When to Stop Is the Real Skill   If you can’t remember the last time you did not respond immediately to a message, this one is for you. People pleasers do not have a discipline problem. We have a direction problem, all of that discipline pointed at other people's needs instead of our own. This episode centers on a 10pm message, my phone turned face down on the nightstand, and the completely unremarkable morning that followed once I finally let something wait.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  11. Episode 11

    Episode 11: Finale — You Have the Framework. Now What?

    If you’ve recognized yourself anywhere in this season, this final episode gives you a starting point rather than a neat conclusion. Ten episodes, five dimensions, four transitions, one season. What this whole season was really circling, underneath all of it, is the gap between who you are and who you have been performing, and what it takes to close that gap once you can actually see it.   The book goes deeper into all five dimensions of the framework and how to shift the habits that got you promoted into the ones that make you a leader people actually trust.   Get it here: https://a.co/d/0euI4swf

  • 11 Episodes

About

You got promoted because you were great at your job. So why does being the boss feel like starting over? The people-pleasing instincts that got you promoted aren't the ones that make you good at leading people. Host Lori Kirksted found that out the hard way and wrote a book about it. A lot of high-achieving people succeed not only because they're good at what they do, but because they go above and beyond, make sure everyone around them is okay, and never want to be the reason anything goes wrong. For a long time, that works really well. Then you're in charge, and you can't keep everyone happy and make the right call at the same time. You can't lead from the outside in, waiting for approval that may never come, and expect to build a team that trusts you when you don't even trust yourself. This series is based on the book of the same name, so if anything you hear speaks to you, that's where to go next for the full framework and the leadership activity prompts. Buy the book here: https://a.co/d/0grNYLyg

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