Ferals' Den

Avril Millar
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  • Self-Improvement
  • Weekly

Avril Millar has been an engineer, a teacher, a wealth manager, a CEO through the 2008 crash, and a board adviser for two decades. At 74 she's done pretending any of that made her tame. Feral's Den is a weekly solo dispatch on getting free of the system that trained you to shrink, delivered from her sitting room with no goddess talk, no therapy-speak and no motivational nonsense. Companion to her book FERAL.

Episodes

  1. Oct 16

    Why Self-Help Advice Fails So Many Midlife Women

    Welcome to Feral’s Den - A podcast for midlife women who are exhausted, angry, and wondering “why does this feel so hard?”At a women’s health event in London, a panellist was asked for the one thing we could all do every day to be healthier. His answer: get up at dawn, stand barefoot facing the sunrise for ten minutes, breathe gently and feel some gratitude. Anyone can do that, he said. Then he mentioned he was single, with no children and no pets. Avril, who spent most of her adult life getting children up and out of the door before work, was in her words “flipping irritated”.She uses that moment to look at belief systems: how they form when we are very small, how they can override the evidence right in front of us, and why “if I can do it, you can do it” leaves so many women blaming themselves for not trying hard enough. “You can if you think you can” is true, she says, unless you can’t.Then she adds the step she left out of the last episode. Notice your uncomfortable feelings, from irritation to fear, and note them on your phone: “I felt X”, plus what set it off. Later, ask yourself what you believed was happening at the time. An email from HR is neutral until you decide what it means.This isn’t therapy. It isn’t a programme. It’s a conversation about reclaiming your natural self after decades of conditioning. Subscribe now so you never miss a conversation, and hit follow on Spotify to catch every episode as soon as it’s live.Chapters0:00 Welcome to Feral’s Den0:17 An event on a Saturday morning1:21 Biological age versus real age3:10 Getting the book into the right hands4:10 The panel5:13 “What’s the one thing we could do?”6:02 Stand barefoot at dawn6:45 Who was sitting next to him7:33 Advice from people whose lives aren’t yours8:54 Back to the Enneagram10:15 When a belief overrides the evidence11:42 Fifteen years of self-help12:23 You can if you think you can, unless you can’t12:56 Why women end up blaming themselves14:12 The step Avril missed out14:40 The four stages of learning to drive15:24 Pay attention to your feelings16:37 “I felt X”: keep a note on your phone17:29 What were you believing?18:03 The email from HR19:32 Bringing curiosity to a belief20:13 The Nine NegotiationsMentioned in this episodeThe Enneagram test: https://www.avrilmillar.com/enneagram-testThe Nine Negotiations, Avril’s story of the nine Enneagram types: https://resources.avrilmillar.com/enneagram/the-nine-negotiationsThe previous episode, on the nine Enneagram types: https://youtu.be/IdEhn9s8Zro🦊Connect With Avrilhttps://www.avrilmillar.com/links📖Avril’s Book: Feralhttps://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4#feralsden #midlifewomen #avrilmillar #beliefsystems #selfawareness

  2. Oct 9

    The 9 Enneagram Types and Why You Are the Way You Are

    Welcome to Feral’s Den - A podcast for midlife women who are exhausted, angry, and wondering “why does this feel so hard?” Avril goes back to where becoming feral starts: knowing why you are the way you are. She explains how the temperament you’re born with, and the early years spent working out what keeps you safe and accepted, leave you with unconscious motivators that still drive your reactions decades later, long after they’re no longer fit for purpose. Then she takes you through all nine Enneagram types, from the One who needs things done properly (right down to how the towels are folded) to the Nine who will put themselves last rather than have a difficult conversation. Avril is, in her own words, “a major eight”. She explains what happens when your motivators are met and you’re at your best self, what happens when they’re pushed against and you go into shadow, and why a rescue cat who was scared of everything is a lot like most of us. The test is in FERAL, in the paperback, Kindle and audiobook. Once you know your numbers, watch yourself and the people around you, and start building in what Avril calls “a pause, a consideration, and a choice.” This isn’t therapy. It isn’t a programme. It’s a conversation about reclaiming your natural self after decades of conditioning. Subscribe now so you never miss a conversation, and hit follow on Spotify to catch every episode as soon as it’s live. Chapters 0:00 Welcome to Feral’s Den 0:17 Back to the Enneagram test 2:04 Born different 3:00 How a child learns what keeps it safe 4:57 Why we need our tribe 6:17 The first seven years 7:02 Why the Enneagram 8:36 Nine unconscious motivators 9:29 Type 1: perfect, correct and right 10:58 Best self and shadow 12:03 Type 2: needed and appreciated 12:43 Type 3: succeeding and achieving 13:24 Type 4: special and meaningful 14:45 Type 5: knowledgeable and expert 15:18 Type 6: safe and secure 15:49 Type 7: enjoying life 16:40 Type 8: in charge 17:09 Type 9: peace and harmony 17:25 The story of nine children 18:44 A pause, a consideration and a choice 19:10 Reading your results 19:43 Seeing other people differently 20:24 The rescue cat Mentioned in this episode The Enneagram test: https://www.avrilmillar.com/enneagram-test The story of the nine children, in Feral’s Ground: https://resources.avrilmillar.com 🦊Connect With Avril https://www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 #feralsden #enneagram #avrilmillar #midlifewomen #enneagramtypes feral's den, ferals den, avril millar, feral book, enneagram, enneagram test, enneagram types, 9 enneagram types, enneagram explained, enneagram type 1, enneagram type 2, enneagram type 3, enneagram type 4, enneagram type 5, enneagram type 6, enneagram type 7, enneagram type 8, enneagram type 9, personality test, unconscious motivators, self awareness, why am i like this, childhood conditioning, midlife women, women over 50, midlife podcast

  3. Oct 1

    What to Do When You Don't Like Yourself Very Much

    Welcome to Feral’s Den - A podcast for midlife women who are exhausted, angry, and wondering “why does this feel so hard?”Avril recorded this episode at the end of a day spent with a brilliant, highly successful woman who could not stop criticising herself, and after being a guest on Nicole Kalil’s podcast, This Is Woman’s Work. Both left her with the same question: why do so many capable women treat themselves so badly?From anti-ageing creams and the grey hair debate to body shaming and assertiveness training at work, Avril looks at how women are taught to measure themselves all the time, “against a set of standards that you never signed up to and against a set of rules that you never agreed to.” She explains why “learn to love yourself” means nothing while you are in a constant negative dialogue with yourself, and why the grace we give our children, flaws and all, is the grace we need to extend to ourselves.This isn’t therapy. It isn’t a programme. It’s a conversation about reclaiming your natural self after decades of conditioning. Subscribe now so you never miss a conversation, and hit follow on Spotify to catch every episode as soon as it’s live.Mentioned in this episodeThe Enneagram test: https://www.avrilmillar.com/enneagram-testNicole Kalil, This Is Woman’s Work: https://nicolekalil.com/podcast🦊Connect With Avrilhttps://www.avrilmillar.com/links📖Avril’s Book: Feralhttps://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4#feralsden #midlifewomen #avrilmillar #selfcriticism #innercritic

  4. Sep 10

    Why Women Override Their Body's Warning Signs

    In this week's episode, Avril unpacks why so many women are conditioned to override their body's warning signals, from a tense work confrontation to a chilling moment on the tube. She breaks down what's actually happening in your nervous system when you freeze, sweat or feel sick before a hard conversation, and why dysregulation quietly wrecks your decision making. Then she teaches a simple, science backed tool, the physiological sigh, that you can use anywhere to calm your body fast and reclaim your ability to think clearly under pressure. JUMP TO A CHAPTER : 00:00 Your body already said no 00:18 The workplace call that breaks you 02:19 What's actually happening in your nervous system 05:36 Why women are taught to override their signals 08:46 A warning sign on the tube 12:27 Regulation vs dysregulation 13:29 The physiological sigh: your reset button If this episode resonated, follow Ferals’ Den and share it with a woman who needs to hear it. 🦊Connect With Avril www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio 🌐 http://www.ontrackstudio.com.au 📩 hello@ontrackstudio.com.au

  5. Sep 3

    The Inner Critic Is Lying to You: How Self-Talk Shapes Your Life

    The week on Ferals’ Den, Avril unpacks the voice in your head, the one that calls you an idiot over a typo or insists you always get it wrong. She traces that inner critic back to the unconscious beliefs we inherit early in life, sharing her own adoption story and how one offhand line from a therapist shaped decades of how she saw herself. You'll learn why most affirmations fail (your unconscious mind won't accept a claim it doesn't believe), and what Avril calls the bridge of believable possibility, a way to reframe self-talk that your mind and body can actually accept. From "I can't cope" to "I'm feeling overwhelmed," this episode shows how a small shift in language can change how you move through the world. JUMP TO A CHAPTER : 00:00 Intro: the voice you'd never use on anyone else 00:55 Where these beliefs really come from 01:46 Avril's adoption story 03:11 "You are a depressive": the power of I am 06:03 The diamond card and a new symbol 10:08 Why most affirmations fail 13:20 The bridge of believable possibility If this episode struck a chord, subscribe to Ferals’ Den and share it with someone who talks to themselves in a way they'd never talk to a friend. 🦊Connect With Avril www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio 🌐 http://www.ontrackstudio.com.au 📩 hello@ontrackstudio.com.au

  6. Aug 27

    Why You Can't Stop Being Useful

    Ever feel like you have to be useful to matter? In this episode of Ferals’ Den, Avril Millar unpacks the unconscious beliefs formed in childhood that quietly run your adult life, from the compulsion to always be busy to the fear of standing out. Avril shares her own journey writing her book Feral, the self-doubt that nearly stopped her, and a simple five whys technique to uncover the belief driving your behavior. JUMP TO A CHAPTER :  00:00 Do You Matter If You're Not Useful? 00:14 The Party Trap: Always Being Useful 01:54 How Childhood Beliefs Take Root 03:31 Why Beliefs Feel Like Identity 04:47 Avril's Story: Writing Feral and Facing Self-Doubt 09:13 The Hidden Beliefs Running Your Life 1:55 Find Your Belief: The Five Whys Technique Ready to question the beliefs running your life? Subscribe to Ferals’ Den for more! 🦊Connect With Avril www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio 🌐 http://www.ontrackstudio.com.au 📩 hello@ontrackstudio.com.au

  7. Aug 20

    The Real Reason You React Before You Think

    Ever reacted to something and immediately thought, why did I do that? Avril unpacks the hidden "operating system" driving your reactions, the difference between your shadow self and best self, and why we're all wired to overreact before we even realise it. Using a personal story about feedback that floored her, she breaks down how childhood shapes our emotional defaults and gives you a practical way to pause, reflect, and respond instead of react. JUMP TO A CHAPTER : 00:00 When You React Without Knowing Why 01:32 Understanding Your Operating System 02:50 Avril's Story: Feedback That Broke Her 07:02 How the Shadow Self Forms in Childhood 09:29 We're All Meaning Making Machines 11:39 The Star Trek Trick for Reading People 15:09 Pausing to Reflect Before You React Ready to understand your reactions instead of being run by them? Hit follow and catch next week's episode of Ferals’ Den. 🦊Connect With Avril www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio 🌐 http://www.ontrackstudio.com.au 📩 hello@ontrackstudio.com.au

  8. Aug 13

    What Makes Us, Us?

    Why do kind, loving women turn into "keyboard warriors" online? Avril unpacks the wave of cruelty aimed at the new PM's wife this week, and why the women posting it are often the same ones showing up with meals and school pickups for their friends. Avril connects this to her own recent recovery from lung cancer surgery, the unconscious motivators we form in early childhood, and the difference between operating from your "best self" versus your "shadow self." She also revisits her three boxes framework and shares her own adoption story to explain why your past shapes you, but doesn't have to script you. JUMP TO A CHAPTER : 00:00 Why you keep noticing the same thing everywhere 01:47 The PM's wife and why women attack women 03:23 Cancer, recovery, and real female friendship 06:59 Shadow self: the root of the cruelty 11:17 The three boxes revisited 13:01 Therapy speak, her adoption story, and rewriting the script 20:54 Childhood, unconscious motivators, and the free test Take the free test in the link below to start understanding your own unconscious motivators. Ready to dig deeper? Grab the book and subscribe for new episodes every week. 👤Enneagram Personality Test: https://avrilmillar.aidaform.com/enneagram-test 🦊Connect With Avril www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio 🌐 http://www.ontrackstudio.com.au 📩 hello@ontrackstudio.com.au

  9. Aug 6

    The 3 Boxes Keeping Midlife Women Stuck

    Welcome to Feral’s Den  -  A podcast for midlife women who are exhausted, angry, and wondering "why does this feel so hard?" In this very first episode, host Avril Millar  shares the raw truth about her own midlife collapse, and explains exactly why this podcast (and her book) exist. Avril breaks down the three "boxes" society pushes midlife women into (the goddess/spiritual-bypass trap, the trauma/therapy-culture trap, and the patriarchy-rage trap) and why none of them actually make you feel better long-term. She shares her own story of losing everything at 42, and the 30-year journey back to herself that led her to write Feral. JUMP TO A CHAPTER : 0:00 – Welcome: You've Been Failed 0:49 – The Feminism Gap: What My Generation Got Wrong 4:27 – The 3 Boxes Trapping Midlife Women 14:59 – Let’s call it the System, not the Patriarchy 19:02 – Why This Book Is Called Feral 22:35 – My Story: Broken at 42, Rebuilt From Nothing 27:25 – My Book: Feral This isn't therapy. It isn't a program. It's a conversation about reclaiming your natural self after decades of conditioning; And this episode is your welcome mat. Subscribe now so you never miss a conversation, and hit follow on Spotify to catch every episode as soon as it's live. 🦊Connect With Avril www.avrilmillar.com/links 📖Avril’s Book: Feral https://www.avrilmillar.com/feral#section4 This podcast was brought to you by On Track Studio 🌐 http://www.ontrackstudio.com.au 📩 hello@ontrackstudio.com.au

  10. Trailer

    Welcome To Ferals' Den

    FERALS' DEN is a podcast for midlife women who are pretty damn fed up and knackered.  Host Avril Millar spent decades trying to work out why life felt so hard, and why she felt she was the only one struggling.  Then she saw how the system was designed to break us. Now 74, she knows how to get you off that hamster wheel for good.  Each episode unpacks the conditioning that keeps women stuck, breaking down the roles we're taught to play instead of who we actually are, and offers a path back to their real, unfiltered self. No fixing. No selling. Just honest conversation.

  • 1 Trailer
    9 Episodes

Trailer

About

Avril Millar has been an engineer, a teacher, a wealth manager, a CEO through the 2008 crash, and a board adviser for two decades. At 74 she's done pretending any of that made her tame. Feral's Den is a weekly solo dispatch on getting free of the system that trained you to shrink, delivered from her sitting room with no goddess talk, no therapy-speak and no motivational nonsense. Companion to her book FERAL.

Information

  • Creator
    Avril Millar
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Avril Millar
  • Show Website
    Ferals' Den

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