Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

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Everything you didn’t know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn’t. Your welcome. We're not a typical newsbrief. @ItsNotSatire's Breaking Absurdity is a podcast that will make you pick your jaw up off the floor, blink twice and ask yourself "am I dreaming? or did that just happen." Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we’ve got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this made you cringe, ugly cry or wonder if you’re dreaming? You’re welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. We like to call it absurdity in plain sight. Sometimes the stories seem hidden, but they’re happening right in front of us. You're just "lucky" enough to notice them — the weird detail, the bizarre connection, the part that somehow never makes it into the news brief. From politics, Trump, whatever broke the internet and erupted that day, these are the stories that make you laugh (or ugly cry), stare into the middle distance, scream into the void and wonder whether reality has finally given up. Delivered like a serious news update, except that it really, really isn’t. Sorry, not sorry. These are the top stories you didn’t know you needed to know. But now you do, and there's no going back. Just the absurdity of the world, presented in plain sight. The stories are real. The absurdity is real. And definitely not satire. New episodes bring you the headlines, the weird details and the stories that sound completely made up but, regrettably, aren’t. Want more absurdity and political chaos in your feed? Get the full version on @ItsNotSatire’s Substack. Produced by @ItsNotSatire.

  1. 1d ago

    Melania and Donald Trump's Kiss Fail & JD Vance Fails to Explain Katie Zacharia

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Trump is negotiating some very difficult diplomatic relations, and they’re happening in his own marriage. A Rose Garden moment between Donald and Melania gets the sports-replay treatment, followed by our AI-voiced “reconstruction” of what they might have been saying, based on absolutely no evidence. Meanwhile, the MAGA AI dance crew adds a new member, JD Vance struggles to explain what went wrong with Katie Zacharia, and the internet has theories about how she got the job. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we’ve got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You’re welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we cover Trump and Melania’s Rose Garden moment, a satirical AI-voiced take on their hand-holding negotiations, Trump’s comments about a senator’s physique and Lawrence O’Donnell’s reaction, the newest addition to the MAGA AI dance videos, JD Vance’s answer on the Katie Zacharia episode, and a follow-up on the Abdul El-Sayed exchange from last week. Some of this relies on claims made in the video and online posts, so check original sources before repeating them. Story Rundown: Trump and Melania in the Rose Garden: A replay of an awkward greeting moment, narrated like sports commentary, followed by our AI-voiced parody of what they may have been discussing. It’s satire with zero evidence behind it.Trump and the Senator’s Physique: Another clip of Trump’s remarks about a senator’s body, and Lawrence O’Donnell’s response.The MAGA Dance Crew Adds a Member: The AI dance videos featuring Susan Dell, Kelly Loeffler, and Barbara Thornhill now include Elizabeth Holmes.JD Vance on Katie Zacharia: Asked what lesson to take from her short tenure as press secretary, Vance blames the media pressure and says the White House could do a better job onboarding people.Katie Zacharia and ChatGPT: A meme imagines how she landed the job.The Tommy Follow-Up: After last week’s Abdul El-Sayed exchange, reporting cited in the video links the questioner’s father to a company paid by a PAC, America Next, which was reportedly offering college Republicans $200 to heckle El-Sayed events. We present this as reported in the video, not as established fact.Everything you didn’t know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn’t. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.

    Melania and Donald Trump's Kiss Fail & JD Vance Fails to Explain Katie Zacharia

  2. 4d ago

    New MAGA-Face Victims Spook America & Trump's Rallys Go Downhill

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Susan Dell had her moment last week, and now the internet is asking who the other women in Trump world are. This episode covers two more Trump administration figures who have become online obsessions: SBA head Kelly Loeffler, whose neck people say looks longer in newer photos, and Barbara Thornhill, whose eyelid became a topic during her confirmation hearing. Then the internet puts them together with Susan Dell in an AI-made dance video. Meanwhile, Trump walks right past his waiting limo and into an empty field, and the Secret Service has to herd him back. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we've got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You're welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we look at the internet's fascination with Kelly Loeffler and Barbara Thornhill, the AI dance video that brought them together with Susan Dell, Trump's midterm rally mishaps, Abdul El-Sayed's answer to a loaded audience question, Katie Zacharia's very short run as press secretary, and an AI wrestling parody of Katie versus Susan Dell. We're not diagnosing anyone or claiming to know what procedures anyone has had. These are online reactions, not facts. Story Rundown: Kelly Loeffler's Neck: The head of the Small Business Administration posts TikToks, and viewers start comparing old photos to new ones. We note we're not claiming to know anything about her health or any procedures.Barbara Thornhill's Confirmation Hearing: Trump's new ambassador at large goes viral for what people noticed about her eyelid during her hearing, and the plastic surgery rumors follow.The MAGA Dance Video: Someone uses AI to put Thornhill, Susan Dell, and Loeffler into a viral dance. The audio is muted for copyright reasons.Trump Walks Past the Beast: After a Georgia rally, Trump skips his open limo door and heads into an empty field while the Secret Service rushes to steer him back. We also mention an unusual moment from a rally audience member.Abdul El-Sayed Answers the Question: Asked whether he'd disavow the Muslim Brotherhood, El-Sayed points out the assumption behind the question and compares it to the questions JFK faced about being Catholic.Katie Zacharia's Exit: Her stint as press secretary lasts from Monday to Friday, and we ask who's next.Katie vs. Susan Dell: A parody fight video, announced in full wrestling-commentary style, puts the two head to head.Everything you didn't know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn't. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.

    New MAGA-Face Victims Spook America & Trump's Rallys Go Downhill

  3. Oct 16

    Trump Admits He Has “Severe Problems” and Katie Zacharia’s Fake Attorney Ruse Exposed

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Katie Zacharia’s first press conference is still causing fallout, and SNL is scrambling to figure out who will play her. She explains the briefing started at a pumpkin patch, says she “effectuated” it, and gives shifting answers about the bar exam. Meanwhile, Trump heads to an Alaska rally, brags about his cognitive test and his traveling doctors, says he has “some very severe problems,” and then tells the crowd he was just having fun with the media. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we’ve got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You’re welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we cover the press secretary’s explanation of her first briefing, the bar exam questions, a Harvard Law professor’s take on calling yourself a lawyer, Michael Pavano’s viral impression of her, and Trump’s Alaska rally remarks about his cognitive test, his doctors, and his “very severe problems.” Story Rundown: Katie Explains Herself: The press secretary says she went from a pumpkin patch to the podium in a few days, had no full briefing beforehand, and “effectuated” the briefing. We also revisit the “deleterious” word from her earlier Fox News appearance.The Bar Exam Question: Katie says the results were “inconsequential” because she wouldn’t need the bar in China. The Wall Street Journal reports she failed it, and Harvard Law professor Noah Feldman explains the difference (or lack of one) between a lawyer and an attorney, and what happens if someone practices law without passing the bar. Clips are shown of her calling herself a lawyer.Who Plays Katie on SNL?: We highlight Michael Pavano’s viral impression, including the “my president, I mean, my husband” slip.Trump’s Alaska Rally: Trump brags about his cognitive test and the number of doctors who travel with him, and jokes about what they would do if someone in the crowd got sick.“Very Severe Problems”: Trump says he has “some very severe problems,” says he doesn’t want to add them to the list, then admits he probably set himself up for that one and says he doesn’t actually know what they are.Everything you didn’t know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn’t. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.

    Trump Admits He Has “Severe Problems” and Katie Zacharia’s Fake Attorney Ruse Exposed

  4. Oct 15

    Katie Zacharia Cringefest & Trump's Attraction to Handsome Men

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Katie Zacharia’s first press conference as White House press secretary lasted about 14 minutes and included a stalled answer about an Alaska LNG pipeline and a slip where she called Trump her husband. Then Trump weighed in on her performance, a question about where she passed the bar exam got a very confusing answer, and the internet came up with a “Scaramucci” countdown for her tenure. Meanwhile, Trump keeps praising the physiques of male senators at his rallies, and JD Vance takes a swipe at James Talarico. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we’ve got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You’re welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we cover the new press secretary’s first briefing and the reaction to it, Trump’s answer about the bar exam, the internet’s memes, Trump’s rally remarks about male athletes, and JD Vance’s “I’m the vice president, not James Talarico” line. Story Rundown: Katie’s First Press Conference: Trump’s new press secretary opens with praise for the president, stumbles through an answer about an Alaska LNG pipeline, refers to Trump as her husband, and ends the briefing after about 14 minutes. Reporters sound stunned.The Reaction: Mainstream outlets report that White House officials are already questioning how long she’ll last, while the internet resurfaces a viral beauty pageant clip and a meme about her passing the “Timu bar exam.” One X user gives her a 0.5 Scaramucci rating, which we convert into a very short job-tenure forecast.Trump on the Bar Exam: Asked where his press secretary passed the bar exam, Trump’s answer leaves everyone more confused.Trump’s Rally Remarks: At midterm rallies, Trump praises the physiques of male senators and a group of men from Oklahoma, then seems to downgrade them to “real people” once they reach the stage.JD Vance and James Talarico: Vance tells a rally crowd his “I love you” was platonic, then jokes “I’m the vice president, not James Talarico,” while an unverified old tweet resurfaces online. Was it a cheap shot? Tell us what you think.Everything you didn’t know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn’t. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.

    Katie Zacharia Cringefest & Trump's Attraction to Handsome Men

  5. Oct 12

    Susan Dell's Husband Speaks Out & Nobel Prize Outrage | Breaking Absurdity Ep 51

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Trump is fuming that he didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize, and the White House has a new press secretary whose name, once again, starts with a K. The 2026 prize went to human rights lawyer Navi Pillay, Trump said he's never heard of her, and the internet reminded him that Obama has one. Meanwhile, Susan Dell's husband, Michael Dell, responds to the online reaction to her Oval Office appearance. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we've got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You're welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we cover Trump's Nobel Peace Prize meltdown, SNL's take, the Obama memes, the new White House press secretary and the internet's reaction to her, the latest Susan Dell memes, and Michael Dell's response to the online scrutiny. Story Rundown: Trump's Nobel Meltdown: Trump reacts to the Nobel Peace Prize going to Navi Pillay, a South African lawyer and longtime human rights advocate, saying he's never heard of her and calling the decision a stain on Norway. SNL's Colin Jost weighs in.The Obama Meme: The internet reminds Trump that Obama has a Nobel, with memes of Obama dangling the prize over his head.The New Press Secretary: Trump names Katie Zechariah as his new White House press secretary, the fourth media hire whose name starts with K. We cover the memes, a fake pageant clip spliced into a Fox News interview, her real Fox appearance, and an older clip of her making abortion claims that we flag as misinformation.The Susan Dell Memes Keep Coming: Days after the Oval Office announcement of Trump accounts, the memes haven't slowed down, including a Thriller edit and a fake South Park rumor.Michael Dell Responds: The Dell computer founder posts on X in defense of his wife and asks people to stop disrespecting someone they don't know. We ask whether the scrutiny is fair game. Tell us what you think.Everything you didn't know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn't. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.e.

    Susan Dell's Husband Speaks Out & Nobel Prize Outrage | Breaking Absurdity Ep 51

  6. Oct 10

    Susan Dell Theories on Why She Looks Like That & MAGA Before and After Makeovers

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Susan Dell appeared in the Oval Office two days ago, and the internet still can’t look away. First, an important public service announcement: Susan Dell is definitely not Stephen Miller. Then we look at how her facial expressions became the story, why people keep comparing photos of her then and now, and what two very different online explanations say about her changing appearance. Plus, a MAGA Makeover Quiz: five “before” photos, and your job is to name them. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we’ve got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You’re welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we fact-check the Susan Dell and Stephen Miller comparison, revisit the Oval Office moment that turned her expressions into a viral reel, look at the internet’s theories about her appearance, and reveal the answers to our MAGA Makeover Quiz. Nobody in this episode knows the actual cause of any change in her appearance, and the theories we cover are opinions from online creators, not facts. Story Rundown: Susan Dell Is Not Stephen Miller: An official fact check of a comparison that kept popping up in the comments on every platform.The Expressions That Went Viral: A look back at the earlier Oval Office moment, when Susan Dell’s facial expressions during a TikTok discussion became the story and turned into a hit reel.Then and Now: Photos of Susan Dell from the 90s, the mid-2000s, and the White House this week fuel a debate about how much she has changed, and why.The MAGA Makeover Quiz: Five before photos, five women connected to the MAGA world. Guess in the comments before the reveal.Two Competing Theories: One creator points to cosmetic procedures. A facial plastic surgeon says it’s heavy makeup and significant facial fat loss instead. The truth is unknown.The Quiz Reveal: Kimberly Guilfoyle, Kristi Noem, Laura Trump, Lauren Sanchez, and Laura Loomer. How many did you get?Everything you didn’t know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn’t. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.

    Susan Dell Theories on Why She Looks Like That & MAGA Before and After Makeovers

  7. Oct 8

    More Leaked Audio of Melania Turmp (Satire) & Susan Dell Jump Scare

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Melania Trump has new "leaked" audio, and this one is entirely made up, based on absolutely no evidence. After Trump called Natalie Harp on stage at a Nebraska rally to hand him an executive order, we imagine what Melania might be thinking, including a strict hand-holding budget and a contract nobody renegotiated. Meanwhile, a local Nebraska reporter asks Trump a tough question about foreign beef, and Susan Dell turns heads at the Oval Office announcement of "Trump accounts." The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we've got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you laugh, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You're welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we cover Trump's Nebraska rally and his habit of calling assistants up on stage, two AI-voiced "internal monologue" clips imagining Melania's reaction, Chuck Lorre's strongly worded comments on Trump, a Nebraska reporter's beef question, and the awkward camera moments at the Trump accounts announcement. Story Rundown: The Nebraska Rally and the Assistants: Trump signs an executive order lifting excise taxes on red-dyed diesel and calls Natalie Harp on stage to bring it to him. It echoes the previous week, when he pulled a younger assistant named Margo up to the stage.Melania's "Internal Thoughts" (AI Audio): A fake-leaked, AI-voiced clip imagines Melania's reaction to Natalie's constant presence, including a limit on hand-holds. Pure satire, zero evidence. Funny or AI slop? We want your verdict.The Hand-Holding Agreement: A second reconstructed clip has "Melania" airing grievances about the smell of the White House and a hand-holding contract that hasn't been renegotiated.Chuck Lorre Speaks Up: The sitcom creator's strongly worded comments on Trump lead into a comparison of Melania's demeanor beside Trump with Michelle and Barack Obama's body language.The Nebraska Beef Question: A local reporter asks Trump about importing foreign beef in the country's top beef state, and Trump's answer includes a rare admission about voter reaction.Trump Accounts and Susan Dell: At the Oval Office announcement, the internet fixates on Susan Dell's wide-eyed, stiff camera moments.Everything you didn't know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn't. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow.

    More Leaked Audio of Melania Turmp (Satire) & Susan Dell Jump Scare

  8. Oct 6

    Woman Sues Trump & Epstein for Assault | Who is Elyse Relford?

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! A woman named Elyse Relford has filed a civil lawsuit in Florida accusing Donald Trump of sexual assault in 1997, with Jeffrey Epstein allegedly present, and a separate federal lawsuit against Epstein's estate. The story has barely made a dent in mainstream coverage, so we went to the court records to see what they actually say, and just as importantly, what they don't. The universe, once again, has a sense of humor. Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we've got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this make you think, cringe, or wonder how any of this is real? You're welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. In this episode of Breaking Absurdity, we walk through the allegations in each complaint, how the two filings connect, the pro se filing and its reported paperwork problem, a date discrepancy in the federal case that we can't explain, and the statute of limitations question, including why E. Jean Carroll's case doesn't automatically answer it. Everything here is an allegation in a civil complaint. No court has made any finding that these events occurred. Story Rundown: The Florida Lawsuit: Relford's civil complaint in Palm Beach County alleges Trump assaulted her around 1997 and seeks $1.3 million in compensatory damages. It was filed without an attorney and ran into a reported issue with its civil cover sheet, which is not a ruling on whether her claims are true.The Epstein Estate Lawsuit: A separate federal case in the Southern District of New York makes much broader allegations about Epstein, her identity, money held in trust, and custody, and seeks about $2.3 million.Same Person?: After pulling the federal docket from PACER, we explain why the filings point to the same plaintiff, and why we're deliberately leaving out her personal information and unrelated records.What We Can and Can't Establish: The filings, the docket, and the allegations are verifiable records. Whether the allegations are true is not established, and independent corroboration is thin so far.The Date Conflict: An ID document in the federal filing lists a 1992 birth year, while the complaint describes events in the late 1980s. We don't have an explanation, and we reached out to the plaintiff for comment.The Statute of Limitations: Florida's normal limit for assault and battery claims is four years. We look at how a 1997 claim could be filed in 2026, and why New York's Adult Survivors Act, which applied in the Carroll case, doesn't clearly apply here.Everything you didn't know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn't. 📩 Check out my Substack (long-form analysis & exclusives) including ad-free podcast options: 👉 https://substack.com/@itsnotsatire 👍 Like, comment, and share, it genuinely helps the channel grow. One note: I swapped the "laugh, cringe" line in the tip paragraph to "think, cringe" since the subject matter is serious, and dropped the "universe has a sense of humor" line if you'd rather keep this one fully straight. Easy to change either way.

    Woman Sues Trump & Epstein for Assault | Who is Elyse Relford?
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About

Everything you didn’t know you needed to know today, but wish you hadn’t. Your welcome. We're not a typical newsbrief. @ItsNotSatire's Breaking Absurdity is a podcast that will make you pick your jaw up off the floor, blink twice and ask yourself "am I dreaming? or did that just happen." Ads keep the lights on. But if ads give you the ick, we’ve got a solution on my Substack. Just sign up and pick the ad free podcast option. Did this made you cringe, ugly cry or wonder if you’re dreaming? You’re welcome. Consider thanking me by leaving a tip. We like to call it absurdity in plain sight. Sometimes the stories seem hidden, but they’re happening right in front of us. You're just "lucky" enough to notice them — the weird detail, the bizarre connection, the part that somehow never makes it into the news brief. From politics, Trump, whatever broke the internet and erupted that day, these are the stories that make you laugh (or ugly cry), stare into the middle distance, scream into the void and wonder whether reality has finally given up. Delivered like a serious news update, except that it really, really isn’t. Sorry, not sorry. These are the top stories you didn’t know you needed to know. But now you do, and there's no going back. Just the absurdity of the world, presented in plain sight. The stories are real. The absurdity is real. And definitely not satire. New episodes bring you the headlines, the weird details and the stories that sound completely made up but, regrettably, aren’t. Want more absurdity and political chaos in your feed? Get the full version on @ItsNotSatire’s Substack. Produced by @ItsNotSatire.

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