My Mind Eats First

BED Patient

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Mental Health

A personal audio journal about living with binge eating disorder

15h ago

You're Fired(?)

The hunt for a job is stressful enough on its own. But what happens when your health anxiety and physical appearance come into play during high-pressure interviews? In this raw and unfiltered episode of My Mind Eats First, we dive deep into the complex intersection of career uncertainty, weight bias in hiring, and the surprising ways stress triggers binge eating. Whether you are navigating a tough economy right now or simply trying to understand how your relationship with food reacts to external pressure, you’re not alone. We’re unpacking the rollercoaster emotions that come with being unemployed, the anxiety of meeting new people when you feel vulnerable about your body size, and the uncomfortable truths found in modern hiring practices. In This Episode: The Financial Cliff: How living on savings changes the stakes during a job search compared to someone with an established safety net.Body Image & Business: The hidden anxiety of onsite interviews and how "fitting in" affects confidence (and stomachs).Data-Driven Bias: We explore studies regarding resume screening and weight bias, and what the numbers really mean for job seekers today.Stress Eating Spikes: Why high-anxiety interview weeks can lead to unexpected eating patterns—and how we rationalize them. Key Takeaways & Discussion Points: If you are struggling with Binge Eating Disorder (BED) or Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), you know that external events trigger internal storms. In this episode, I share: How the current job market climate affects our personal financial security and peace of mind.Why "normal" interviews feel different when your body image is a source of insecurity.The uncomfortable reality of how visual bias impacts hiring decisions for all genders.My personal experience navigating a week where professional obligations clashed directly with recovery goals. 📩 Connect With Me: This podcast was created to be a safe space for open dialogue. If you relate to the struggles mentioned above, or if you have strategies that helped you cope with work-related stress during your eating disorder recovery journey, I want to hear from you. Let's compare notes and support each other. Send me a message at: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Oct 27

Halloween

This Halloween week, we aren't just trick-or-treating; we are diving deep into the spooky side of our relationship with food. Join me as I navigate the month of October and explore how ancient legends from across the globe mirror the internal battles of living with Binge Eating Disorder (BED). What do monsters like the Windigo and the Hungry Ghost have in common with hunger? We uncover cautionary tales that are thousands of years old but feel terrifyingly modern. In this episode, we explore: The Psychology of October: Why the Halloween season can feel overwhelming for those dealing with food disorders.Folklore Meets Mental Health: Discovering how ancient myths were often created to teach lessons about community, isolation, and self-regulation.The "Monster" Within: Analyzing stories that seem terrifying but actually offer profound insights into our own behaviors and cravings.Finding Connection: A reflection on why isolation feeds the beast, and what it looks like to find support when you feel overwhelmed. Note on Content: As always, My Mind Eats First is a personal audio journal intended for my own processing. It is not medical advice, and this episode contains raw discussions regarding food behaviors that may be triggering to some listeners. Please take care of yourself while listening. Connect With Me: You can reach me directly at mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com. If you want to share your thoughts, ask a question, or simply say hello.
Oct 20

AVRT

Episode 14: Testing AVRT: Can You Outsmart Your Eating Disorder Voice?Is there a second voice in your head, and is it lying to you? In this episode of My Mind Eats First, we move from reflection into experimentation. After exploring the isolation of Binge Eating Disorder (BED), I decided to try something specific: AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique). Is it possible to separate your genuine self from the "ED voice" that triggers a binge? Or is the urge too deeply ingrained to be untangled by simple recognition? I dive into my first attempt at applying this method, the skepticism I feel toward recovery success stories, and a powerful realization about how fear manipulates the binge cycle. In this episode, we explore: The AVRT Experiment: An honest look at trying to identify and differentiate the "BED voice" from your actual thoughts.The "Deep Hole" Theory: Why hearing from "recovered" people can sometimes feel dismissive of the depth of your own struggle.Fear is a Liar: How anxiety and the fear of failure create a compounding effect that fuels the urge to binge.The Paradox of Control: The difficult reality of making progress while still feeling like you're one meal away from falling back. If you are looking for new ways to navigate the mental mess of disordered eating, join me as I test these tools in real-time. Connect with the Journey This podcast is a personal audio journal documenting a raw journey through Binge Eating Disorder. It is not medical advice or professional therapy; it is a shared experience of the highs and lows of recovery. Have thoughts to share? If something in this episode resonated with you, or if you have your own experiences to contribute, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out anonymously at: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Oct 13

A Week in the Life Of

What actually happens when you stop hiding from your patterns and start documenting them? In this special episode of My Mind Eats First, we move away from theory and into reality. For seven days, I’ve been recording my experiences at the end of every single day, capturing the unfiltered truth of what it's like to navigate a week defined by the complex intersection of food, mindset, and daily routine. This isn’t a polished lecture; it is a raw, chronological deep dive into the highs, the lows, and the repetitive cycles that can define our lives. From the way we use food to avoid our most daunting tasks, to the subtle psychological tricks we play on ourselves to justify a lack of discipline, this episode pulls back the curtain on the "messy" middle of the struggle. If you’ve ever felt like your days are an endless loop of starting over, or if you've wondered how small decisions in the morning can dictate your sleep and energy by nightfall, join me for this week-long autopsy of a lifestyle in transition. In this episode, we explore: The Seven-Day Cycle: A raw, day-by-day look at the patterns that emerge when you live with radical honesty.Food as an Avoidance Tool: How "necessary" meals can become a psychological shield against procrastination and fear.The Search for Sensation: The internal drive to find "fullness" and how it shapes our daily habits.The Domino Effect: Understanding the connection between evening choices, sleep disruption, and the struggle of the following morning. Connect with the Podcast: I am documenting this journey in real-time. If these reflections resonate with you, or if you have your own experiences to share, please reach out. 📩 Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Oct 6

The Reality of Intuitive Eating: Theory vs. The Struggle of Recovery

Is "Intuitive Eating" actually possible when you are living with Binge Eating Disorder? On paper, the principles of intuitive eating sound like the ultimate roadmap to freedom. They promise a life without restriction, without calorie counting, and without the exhausting cycle of willpower. But for those in the thick of binge eating disorder (BED) recovery, there is often a massive, daunting gap between understanding these principles and actually living them. In this episode of My Mind Eats First, we dive into a raw, unfiltered examination of the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating. This isn't a clinical lecture or a "how-to" guide—it is a personal audio journal exploring the friction that occurs when textbook recovery meets the reality of a broken hunger sensor and deep-seated food triggers. In this episode, we explore: The Willpower Trap: Why traditional methods of discipline often lead to a cycle of failure in BED recovery.Theory vs. Practice: Why some intuitive eating principles feel like common sense, while others feel like "PhD-level" challenges.The Trigger Factor: Navigating the complex territory of "forbidden foods" and why certain environments change everything.Biological vs. Emotional Hunger: The difficult task of untangling true physical needs from emotional triggers.The Movement Paradox: Why even gentle exercise can sometimes complicate the recovery journey. If you have ever felt like you are "failing" at intuitive eating, or if you feel stuck between the desire to heal and the overwhelming nature of your own triggers, this episode is for you. You aren't alone in the struggle to make these changes feel natural rather than forced. Disclaimer: This podcast is a personal audio journal sharing raw, unfiltered experiences with binge eating disorder. The host is not a therapist, doctor, or health professional. The content shared is for personal processing and may be highly triggering for some listeners. This episode does not provide medical advice, recommendations, or professional guidance. Please prioritize your own mental health while listening. Join the Conversation: I want to hear from you. How do these principles land with you? Do they feel like a path forward, or do they feel out of reach? Have you found a way to implement them, or are you currently wrestling with the same obstacles? Please share your thoughts and experiences via email at: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Sep 29

Signs of BED

Does Binge Eating Disorder (BED) look different than you think? We often assume that Binge Eating Disorder is only about what happens at the dinner table—the amount eaten, the types of food chosen, or the frequency of the episodes. But for those living with it, the reality is much more complex and far-reaching. In this episode of My Mind Eats First, we move beyond the plate to explore the subtle, often unacknowledged signs that BED is present in your life. This isn't just about nutrition or calories; it’s about how a disorder can fundamentally alter how you conduct yourself in the world. In this episode, we dive into: The Deceptive Cycle of Restriction: Why "cheat days" and strict dietary rules might actually be setting the stage for something much larger.The Hidden Social Cost: How shame and body image can lead to self-isolation, causing you to withdraw from the people and milestones that matter most.Daily Rituals & Coping Mechanisms: Identifying the unexpected ways BED infiltrates your routine, your movement, and your mental processing.Beyond the Physical: Understanding why BED is so difficult to treat in isolation and how it impacts your connection to family and community. If you have ever suspected there was something "off" about your relationship with food—but couldn't quite put your finger on it—this episode may provide a much-needed reference point for your own journey. Connect with the Podcast: This is a personal audio journal. While I hope these episodes provide comfort or clarity, they are not professional medical advice. If you found value in this episode and would like to share your own experiences or signs you've identified, please reach out via email. I would love to hear from you. 📩 Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com ⚠️ IMPORTANT MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: The content of "My Mind Eats First" is a personal audio journal shared for processing and educational purposes only. The host is not a therapist, doctor, or health professional. The experiences shared are raw and unfiltered; they are not intended as medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment recommendations. This content may be highly triggering. Please prioritize your own mental health and well-being. If you are struggling, please seek help from a specialized medical professional or therapist.
Sep 22

Tricks (that mostly don't work)

In the world of social media, recovery from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is often presented as a series of simple "hacks"—quick tricks designed to silence urges and regain control. But what happens when those very tools actually make the struggle harder? In this raw and unfiltered episode of My Mind Eats First, we dive into the disconnect between popular recovery advice and the lived reality of binge eating. We explore why common strategies—ranging from dietary "nibbling" to digital tracking apps—can sometimes miss the mark, or worse, create a dangerous cycle of restriction and relapse. If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing because a "proven" method didn't work for you, this episode is a reminder that your journey is unique, your psychology matters, and recovery is about much more than just willpower. In This Episode, We Discuss:The Social Media Paradox: Why the most common advice found online may not align with your personal binge triggers.The Danger of "Healthy" Restrictions: How attempting to "limit" a binge can inadvertently fuel the next one.Willpower vs. Mindset: The exhausting reality of relying on mental strength and why a different approach is needed.Evolutionary Biology & Modern Eating: A deep dive into why our current nutritional guidelines feel so disconnected from how humans were designed to eat.The Psychology of the Individual: How your unique personality traits—from competitiveness to visual processing—change which "recovery tools" actually work.Information as a Double-Edged Sword: Navigating the thin line between helpful nutritional knowledge and obsessive mental loops. DisclaimerThis podcast shares personal, lifelong experiences with binge eating disorder for the purpose of processing and reflection. The host is not a therapist or a doctor. This content does not provide medical advice, recommendations, or treatment options. It may be highly triggering; please prioritize your own mental health and well-being while listening. Connect With UsHave a story to share, a trick that actually works for you, or just want to reach out? We would love to hear from you. Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Sep 15

My Body after Decades of BE

In this raw and unfiltered entry into my personal audio journal, I turn my attention inward, on what has been happening to my physical body over years of struggle. This isn't a medical diagnosis or a "how-to" guide; it is an honest documentation of survival, resilience, and the unexpected ways our bodies react to decades of abuse. In this Episode: The Myth of Immunity: Why we think our bodies can handle whatever we put through them, versus the hard truth of long-term neglect.The Sleep Disruption Cycle: How digestion and stress transform night time into a struggle for rest rather than recovery.The Failure of Traditional Advice: Exploring why warnings from medical professionals often fail to spark immediate change in those fighting eating disorders.The Path Forward: A candid look at the difficulty of resetting daily routines when your body has adapted to chaos. Important Listener Warning This podcast is a personal audio journal designed for processing and sharing raw experiences regarding Binge Eating Disorder (BED). It contains triggering content regarding food, health struggles, and negative self-talk. Please listen at your own discretion and prioritize your well-being. There is no medical advice given here—only lived experience. Connect If this episode resonates with you, or if you have feedback and thoughts on recovery journeys, I am reachable via email. Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com

A personal audio journal about living with binge eating disorder

Creator

BED Patient
Years Active

2026
Episodes

16
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© All rights reserved
Show Website

My Mind Eats First