On Behind the Scenes with Michelle Bernier, Chris Voss — former FBI lead hostage negotiator and bestselling author of Never Split the Difference — breaks down the method behind a 24-year career negotiating with bank robbers and kidnappers. He explains "tactical empathy" through the idea that there are "three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth," and shares the single phrase — "seems like you got a reason for saying that" — he says can end up to half of all arguments. Voss admits his approach was "never widely accepted," even inside the FBI, and uses the war in Ukraine to explain why arguing rarely changes anyone's mind. He also unpacks his book's most misunderstood idea, arguing that "splitting the difference" is a recipe for mediocrity, and explains why he believes autonomy — not survival — is what people actually want most in any negotiation. 01:37 Why Chris Joined FBI 03:55 First Hostage Case 04:57 Tactical Empathy Basics 07:52 Getting People to Open Up 09:54 When People Escalate 11:07 Kidnapping in Venezuela 14:50 Learning From Mistakes 16:02 Influencers and Black Swans 17:57 Crisis Skills in Business 20:48 Never Split the Difference 23:05 Building a 100 Year Company 26:12 Where to Learn More 26:55 Practice and Closing About the Guest: Chris Voss is a former FBI lead kidnapping negotiator, betselling author of Never Split The Difference, and founder and CEO of The Black Swan Group; a negotiation, training, coaching, and consulting organization that teaches people how to achieve better outcomes in high-stakes conversations. Recognized globally as a leading authority on negotiation, Chris developed his approach through decades of experience in crisis negotiation. Today, he and The Black Swan Group apply those principles to business, sales, leadership, difficult conversations, and high-stakes communication through The Black Swan Method® and Tactical Empathy®. Never Split The Difference has introduced millions of readers around the world to Chris's negotiation methodology. Through The Black Swan Group, Chris and his team help people go beyond understanding the concepts in the book and develop negotiation as a practical, repeatable performance skill through training, coaching, practice, and live experiences. The Black Swan Group offers in-person negotiation training, live and self-paced online negotiation training, coaching, keynote speaking, and advanced negotiation experiences for business owners, leaders, sales professionals, and other professionals who want to become more effective dealmakers. Learn from Chris Voss and The Black Swan Group: Negotiation training and resources: https://www.blackswanltd.com/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=behindthescenespodcast In-person and live training: https://www.blackswanltd.com/live-events?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=behindthescenespodcast Online negotiation training: https://www.blackswanltd.com/online-negotiation-classes?utm_source=youtube&utm=social&utm_campaign=behindthescenespodcast Follow the Host Michelle Bernier: https://www.instagram.com/soymichellebernier/ Follow us: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7-mAde6xcJGTt5nMbUmOTw Substack: https://substack.com/@behindthescenespod Linkedln: https://www.linkedin.com/company/behind-the-scenes-pod/about/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behindscenespod/ X: https://x.com/Behindscenespod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@behindscenespod?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc