Balls, Bails, Banter with Stu and Jim

Stuart Austin
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Balls, Bails, Banter with Stu and Jim is a light-hearted, laugh-out-loud podcast celebrating the glorious chaos of village cricket at Dedham Cricket Club. Join lifelong club stalwarts Jim and Stu as they dive into the week’s matches, questionable umpiring decisions, heroic (and not-so-heroic) performances, and the timeless traditions that make grassroots cricket what it is. From collapsing batting orders and miraculous last-wicket stands to teas that outshine the cricket itself, nothing is off limits.

  1. 1d ago

    Episode 13 - Seeds, Schemes and Seasonal Depression

    The season might be over, but the nonsense certainly isn’t! This week Stu and Jim get stuck into pitches, with Jim deciding he’s suddenly the Monty Don of village cricket. Seeds, grasses, soil conditions… you name it, Jim reckons he knows it. Stu, meanwhile, is wondering when the gardening podcast starts and, more importantly, whether Jim has actually got a clue what he’s talking about! Then it’s time to wheel out the wigs as The Cricket Court is in session! Is doctoring a pitch to give yourself home advantage a clever bit of village cricket nous, or is it cheating with a lawnmower? Where do you draw the line? And would your village eleven really stoop that low? (Don’t answer that!) We’re joined by Dave, who chats about finding cricket later in life. It’s never too late to get involved in this wonderful game, although Dave might have a few thoughts on why he didn’t start sooner! There’s also the small matter of the end-of-season awards. Who gets the glory, who gets the wooden spoon and who’s lucky to have made it through the season without being dropped, injured or banned from the tea rota? And finally, the winter blues have arrived. With no cricket to look forward to, Jim is already struggling to find purpose in life. You’d think he’d throw himself into a bit of DIY, but apparently holding a screwdriver is beyond him. Is there anything this man can actually do?! All this and the usual village cricket nonsense, questionable opinions and taking the mickey out of each other. Give us a listen – because if we knew what we were talking about, we’d probably be playing a higher standard of cricket! 🏏

  2. Oct 2

    Episode 12 - New Captain, Same Old Balls

    We’re back with another episode of Balls, Balls, Banter with Stu and Jim — and, unsurprisingly, things don’t stay sensible for very long! This week, we’re joined by the new captain, who talks us through his plans for the team, his hopes for the season, and presumably how he intends to keep this lot under control. Stuand Jim are also back with TenYouBallSack, how this quiz keeps on going, is anyone’s guess. Plus, we introduce a brand-new segment: The Cricket Court! ⚖️🏏 Our first case sees us putting sledging on trial. Is it an essential part of cricket? Harmless banter? Or just an excuse for grown men to say things they’d never dare say anywhere else? Expect cricket chat, questionable opinions, plenty of laughs and the usual amount of absolute balls.

  3. Sep 19

    Episode 11 - The Season’s Over… But Not Without Drama

    The stumps are back in the shed, the whites are being ignored until next April, and someone is still insisting they were “just unlucky” to get out. Stu & Jim are back to wrap up another season of amateur cricket, looking back at the highs, lows, dodgy decisions and completely avoidable disasters, while also turning their attention to next year and making plans that will almost certainly fall apart by May. We also head out on tour with Dedham CC, getting stuck into the stories, shenanigans and questionable cricketing decisions from their latest adventure. What happens on tour… probably shouldn’t stay on tour, otherwise we’d have nothing to talk about. And then comes the shocking announcement… 👀 It’s not the biggest news in the history of cricket, but it has left Jim nearly speechless — which, if you know Jim, is quite an achievement. What could possibly have happened? There’s only one way to find out… 🎙️ Balls, Bails & Banter — amateur cricket, questionable opinions and just enough truth to get us into trouble.

  4. Aug 20

    Episode 10 - Up North, Pant Problems and Someone’s got Nothing Left!

    Stu and Jim are joined by northern bowler Josh for a midseason episode packed with cricketing chaos, dressing-room opinions and the sort of club politics that have absolutely nothing to do with what happens on the pitch. The lads tackle the surprisingly divisive question of how to properly wear your pants, before turning their attention to the latest fines debacle — a seemingly minor incident that has triggered major schisms, competing factions and some serious questions about club governance. With tensions rising, allegiances shifting and the usual peripheral nonsense threatening to overshadow the cricket itself, this is Balls, Bails & Banter at its most midseason: petty disputes, strong opinions, questionable decisions and plenty of banter from the pavilion to the WhatsApp group.

  5. Jul 15

    Episode 9 - Australia Sent Us Their Best… We Gave Him Village Cricket & Tenuballsack

    Jim and Stu are back in the pavilion (pub) and this week they’re joined by their favourite Aussie export, who’s swapped scorching outfields for soggy Saturdays to spill the beans on the real differences between village cricket Down Under and in the UK. From rock-hard pitches and kangaroo dodging to tea breaks featuring beige buffets and mysteriously warm lager, nothing is off limits. Expect tales of sledging that cross hemispheres, baffling cricket traditions, and the eternal debate: who actually takes village cricket more seriously? And because no one asked for it (but everyone secretly loves it), the lads bring back another deeply questionable round of “Tenuballsack” — the game where dignity goes to die and absolutely no one knows the rules… including Jim. It’s sunburn vs suncream, pace vs pies, and chaos vs… more chaos. Strap in. It’s a long innings

  6. Jul 7

    Episode 8 - Mid break return and questionable game show material

    The boys are back! After a brief mid-season break, Jim and Stu catch up on what’s been happening off-mic before turning to the big talking point: Jim’s batting form. Is it a slump, a rough patch, or something more complicatedhigl in the crease? And just how do his batting stats stack up against his other performance metrics? From there, the episode moves into a lively, chaotic recap full of honest reflections and the usual banter, before Jim introduces a brand-new game segment he’s clearly very proud of. Stu, however, is far from convinced — especially when it comes to the name. Expect confusion, questionable logic, and plenty of laughs as “Balls, Bails & Banter” returns in full swing.

  7. May 26

    Episode 7 - Knight Fever & Team Sheet Terror

    This week on Balls, Bails & Banter, Jim and Stu find themselves rubbing shoulders with a knight of the realm—yes, actual cricketing royalty is in the house, and the lads aren’t quite sure whether to talk cover drives or curtsies. Jim, meanwhile, completely unravels at the mere mention of public school cricket, going weak at the knees as he romanticises blazers, perfectly rolled pitches, and the “proper way” to bat. Somewhere in the middle of it all, he also takes a detour to passionately explain how he “Cuba Libres” his wife—an anecdote that raises far more questions than it answers. Stu’s day goes from surreal to mildly traumatic as he discovers—live on air—that he might be getting dropped… not from the podcast, but from his cricket side. Or is he? Is it selection politics, bad form, or just a rogue glitch in the team WhatsApp system? Cue panic, denial, and a full-blown on-air investigation. Knighthoods, nostalgia, and selection drama—this episode has all the ingredients of a classic.

  8. May 11

    Episode 6 - Face Full of Leather, Wins & Losses… and ‘Vindaloo’ the Run Machine”

    Episode 6 of Balls, Bails and Banter with Stu and Jim delivers exactly what it promises—cricket chaos, questionable life choices, and plenty of laughs. This week, Jim relives the moment every cricketer dreads (and everyone else secretly enjoys) as he takes a ball straight to the face—yes, it’s as painful and as funny as it sounds. The lads also break down the team’s recent wins and losses, with the usual mix of sharp insight and completely unqualified opinions. But it’s not all carnage and comedy—we’re joined by a genuine Two Counties batting legend, a man who’s quietly (or not so quietly) racked up over 25,000 runs. He shares stories, secrets, and what it really takes to score big while the rest of us are just trying to middle one. Cricket chat, dressing room stories, and top-tier banter—Episode 6 is not to be missed.

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About

Balls, Bails, Banter with Stu and Jim is a light-hearted, laugh-out-loud podcast celebrating the glorious chaos of village cricket at Dedham Cricket Club. Join lifelong club stalwarts Jim and Stu as they dive into the week’s matches, questionable umpiring decisions, heroic (and not-so-heroic) performances, and the timeless traditions that make grassroots cricket what it is. From collapsing batting orders and miraculous last-wicket stands to teas that outshine the cricket itself, nothing is off limits.

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