The Hard Shit We Don't Talk About

Noah Ruybal, LCSW
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Ever wonder why you never feel like you’re enough, why setting boundaries makes you feel guilty, or why you keep repeating the same relationship patterns? Join Noah, LCSW, for honest, direct conversations about mental health, trauma, relationships, and the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask. Each episode explains the psychology in plain English and offers practical tools you can use in everyday life. This podcast is educational and is not a replacement for therapy.

Episodes

  1. 1d ago

    Why Am I So Hard on Myself?

    The words we use to describe ourselves matter. “I’m lazy.” “I’m stupid.” “I’m an addict.” “I’m a bad person.” But when did something we did, something we feel, or something we’re going through become who we are? In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between behavior and identity, guilt vs. shame, the labels other people give us, and why changing the way we talk about ourselves isn’t about fake positivity—it’s about being more accurate. You can make a mistake without being a mistake.

    Why Am I So Hard on Myself?

  2. Sep 14

    What's the Point?

    What’s the point when you can’t see a future worth staying for? For Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month, I’m sharing a part of my own story I don’t often talk about—and the stranger I met at 17 who changed the course of my life without ever knowing it. Sometimes not knowing what the point is doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Maybe the answer, for now, is simply: I don’t know yet.

    What's the Point?

  3. Sep 7

    Why Do I Still Love Someone Who Hurt Me?

    Why do we still love, miss, or want approval from people who have hurt us? In this episode, we talk about attachment, unhealthy love, family guilt, boundaries, grief, and why loving someone doesn’t mean they’re safe for you—or that they get unlimited access to your life.

    Why Do I Still Love Someone Who Hurt Me?

  4. Aug 31

    Why Do I Get So Attached? Understanding Attachment Styles

    Why do some people need constant reassurance while others pull away when relationships get too close? In this episode, I'm joined by a fellow therapist to break down the different attachment styles, where they come from, how they show up in adult relationships, and whether they can change. We talk anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganized attachment, the anxious-avoidant cycle, and how understanding your patterns can help you build healthier relationships without using attachment as an excuse for harmful behavior.

    Why Do I Get So Attached? Understanding Attachment Styles

  5. Aug 24

    What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?

    Self-care doesn’t have to mean spa days, vacations, or spending a bunch of money. Sometimes it’s getting enough sleep, making the doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding, drinking your coffee while it’s still hot, or taking ten minutes to yourself. In this episode, we talk about realistic self-care, the emotional bank account, why tiny things can feel overwhelming when we’re depleted, and how to figure out what actually helps you recharge.

    What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?

  6. Aug 17

    Why Are We So Bad at Communicating?

    Why do we keep misunderstanding the people we care about—even when we’re trying to communicate? This week, we’re talking about hints, direct communication, fixing vs. listening, different processing styles, defensiveness, and why being understood starts with making yourself understandable.

    Why Are We So Bad at Communicating?

  7. Aug 9

    Understanding Anxiety: Why It Feels Like A Heart Attack

    Anxiety can feel terrifying—but your body isn’t malfunctioning. In this episode, we break down why anxiety causes racing hearts, nausea, anger, exhaustion, and that feeling that something is seriously wrong. We’ll talk about the survival system behind anxiety, why it can activate before you know why, and how understanding what your body is doing can help you respond differently.

    Understanding Anxiety: Why It Feels Like A Heart Attack

  8. Aug 7

    Boundaries vs. Walls: Why Saying No Can Feel So Dangerous

    In this episode, we break down what boundaries actually are—and why they’re not always the same thing as walls. Using the “house” analogy, we talk about different levels of access, when walls can become unhealthy, how submission and people-pleasing make boundaries harder, and why feeling guilty doesn’t always mean you did something wrong.

  9. Aug 5

    Why Do I Never Feel Like I'm Enough?

    Why do so many of us feel like we are never doing enough, giving enough, or being enough? In this episode, Noah breaks down where that belief can come from, why rejection feels so threatening, and how childhood experiences can teach us that love and belonging have to be earned. We’ll talk about people-pleasing, perfectionism, comparison, guilt around resting, and the painful question that often follows addiction, abuse, or infidelity: “Why wasn’t I enough?” You’ll also learn how to identify the voice behind your inner critic and recognize when “not enough” may actually mean you are simply human. Content note: Depression, childhood emotional experiences, substance use, abuse, infidelity, and physical aggression.

    Why Do I Never Feel Like I'm Enough?
  • 9 Episodes

About

Ever wonder why you never feel like you’re enough, why setting boundaries makes you feel guilty, or why you keep repeating the same relationship patterns? Join Noah, LCSW, for honest, direct conversations about mental health, trauma, relationships, and the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask. Each episode explains the psychology in plain English and offers practical tools you can use in everyday life. This podcast is educational and is not a replacement for therapy.

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