The Connection Drive

Trevor White
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Relationships
  • Semiweekly

Ever wonder why relationships can feel so hard? We all have an innate drive to connect, and those relationships take more twists and turns than anyone warns you about. Three marriage and family therapists at different stages of a career and a life. Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds has three decades of clinical, teaching, and supervision experience. Dr. Kim Castelo is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist working with religious shame and affair recovery. Trevor White specializes in infidelity recovery and how technology shapes relationships. 3 Therapists. 3 Generations. 3 Voices. Come along for the ride

Episodes

  1. Oct 15

    How do you meet someone without using the apps?

    The apps are a mixed bag, and we’re not here to talk you out of them. Some people find the person they’ll spend their life with. Others come away worn down by hookup culture, or by being judged on a profile and doing the same judging back. If you’re in that second group, this one’s for you. Not instead of the apps. Alongside them. A lot of it comes down to going where people already share something with you. The run club, the hiking group, the yoga class, the faith community. Not because any of those is a dating pool, but because showing up repeatedly with people who care about what you care about is how connection has always worked. We also get into why this is hard right now. Careers are demanding, money is tight, anxiety eats the evening, and the time it takes to build something is exactly the time nobody has. And we push a little on “I’m just letting it happen organically,” which sounds healthy and is sometimes a way of never risking anything. One thing that helps more than people expect: telling your friends you’re open to it. Then we tell you how the three of us met our partners. None of it was smooth. All of it came down to somebody being brave for about four seconds, and then the much longer work of actually building something. Email us your questions at theconnectiondrive@gmail.com. Anonymous, always. 3 Therapists. 3 Generations. 3 Voices. Come along for the ride.

  2. Oct 8

    How to cope when launching kids

    You spent eighteen years teaching someone how to be an adult. And then when they become one the house is quiet in a way you weren't ready for. Here's the thing nobody says out loud: you're allowed to grieve this. Missing your kid is not a failure to let go. It's evidence the relationship mattered. We also talk about how launching rarely happens all at once. It starts earlier than the suitcase and the dorm room. It starts when they get their license, when dinner stops being something you all do, when the day-to-day talking thins out and you notice you're hearing about things after they happen. And what goes with it isn't only a role. It's the ordinary stuff. The rides. The meals. The being asked. The particular feeling of being needed by someone who is now mostly fine without you. The hopeful part of this episode is what actually keeps you close: the traditions you hold onto, and real curiosity about what they care about now, which is how a relationship outlives the caregiving that built it. The parenting doesn't end. It gets less constant and more deliberate. A note. The snacks they like. Clearing the evening when they call. Mostly we want to say that "just let go" is poor advice for something this big. This transition deserves its own space and its own rituals. Claudia, Kim and Trevor are standing at three different distances from this one, which makes for a fun conversation. Email us your questions at theconnectiondrive@gmail.com. 3 Therapists. 3 Generations. 3 Voices. Come along for the ride.

  3. Oct 1

    How do we connect when we are different? Practice 2: Becoming Respectful

    Respect is the second practice in this series, and it's the one most people think they already have handled. It is a practice that allows you to communicate important messages in small and large ways with your partner. We start further back than you'd expect: with self-worth. Long before you were negotiating any of this with a partner, your family, your culture, and your community were telling you whether you were someone of value or someone with something wrong with them. Most of us are still running on that. Then mirroring, and what it does to a person to be genuinely seen. The people who noticed what you were good at, who treated you as particular rather than interchangeable, changed what you believed you had to offer. That's not sentiment. It's how people grow. And then the small stuff, which turns out not to be small. Where your attention goes. What your face does. Whether you touch someone as you pass behind their chair. And the quiet one underneath all of it: the story you've decided explains their behavior, which you've usually settled on without checking. Claudia, Kim and Trevor come at this from three generations of doing this work. Email us your questions at theconnectiondrive@gmail.com. Anonymous, always. 3 Therapists. 3 Generations. 3 Voices. Come along for the ride.

  4. Sep 24

    What do you think about cut-off or ghosting?

    You've thought about it. Maybe you've done it. Maybe someone did it to you and you still don't know why. We are addressing this today because this is a decision that has been increasingly recommended by therapists, and sometimes it's the right one. It ends contact with someone who was doing real harm. It buys quiet after years of not having any. But it's rarely the only option on the table, and it's almost never as contained as it feels in the moment. This episode we get into what cut-off actually does. What sits between putting up with it and going no contact, and whether a boundary can hold a relationship still long enough for it to change. What happens to everyone else when you go, because the choice ripples out in ways nobody warns you about, and the people caught in the middle usually didn't get a vote. And then the harder question underneath all of it: can you make your family member three-dimensional? Not excuse them, not let them off the hook, but see them fully enough that some version of a relationship becomes possible. Claudia, Kim and Trevor come at this from three different generations of doing this work, and offer some fresh perspective on this difficult issue. Want us to discuss an issue you are curious about? Email us your questions at theconnectiondrive@gmail.com. We will keep it anonymous and try our best to help!

  5. Sep 17

    How do I mourn the parents I needed?

    Your parents are alive. You talk to them. Maybe you see them at holidays and it's fine, mostly. And somewhere underneath that there's a grief you can't quite name, because the parents you got were not the parents you needed, and there's no funeral for that. So what do you actually do with it? We start with the hardest part, which is accepting that the person may not be able to give you what you're looking for. Not that they won't. That they can't. From there we get into parenting yourself, learning to tend to the need instead of waiting for someone else to meet it. And then widening the circle, because the thing you needed from one person can often be found across several. Dr. Claudia, Dr. Kim and Trevor take this on from three different points in a life. We address this issue as parents ourselves at different stages in our parenting journey. Have a question that you want us to answer? Reach out at theconnectiondrive@gmail.com and we will review and address it if we can!

  6. Sep 10

    How do we connect when we are different? Practice 1: Navigating Openness

    What does it take to stay open when someone feels unsafe, unfamiliar, or deeply different from you? Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds, Trevor, and Dr. Kimberly Castelo explore how to build connection without abandoning your boundaries, values, or sense of safety. Through personal stories and clinical insight, they discuss trauma, family conflict, infidelity, politics, intimacy, and the difference between healthy openness and self-betrayal. This episode offers a practical framework for recognizing when to move toward connection and when it’s necessary to hold the line.

  7. Aug 28

    Trailer

    Ever wonder why relationships can feel so hard? We all have an innate drive to connect: with family, with friends, with the people we love. And those relationships take more twists and turns than anyone warns you about. The Connection Drive is a new show from three marriage and family therapists at different stages of a career and a life. Each episode we take one hard question and answer it three different ways. Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds brings three decades of clinical, teaching, and supervision experience. Dr. Kim Castelo is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and supervisor whose work spans religious shame to affair recovery. Trevor White specializes in infidelity recovery and what technology is doing to how we love each other. Meet the three of us here, then join us for the first episode: why is everyone going no contact? Follow now so you don't miss it. 3 Therapists. 3 Generations. 3 Voices. Come along for the ride.

  • 7 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Ever wonder why relationships can feel so hard? We all have an innate drive to connect, and those relationships take more twists and turns than anyone warns you about. Three marriage and family therapists at different stages of a career and a life. Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds has three decades of clinical, teaching, and supervision experience. Dr. Kim Castelo is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist working with religious shame and affair recovery. Trevor White specializes in infidelity recovery and how technology shapes relationships. 3 Therapists. 3 Generations. 3 Voices. Come along for the ride

Information

  • Creator
    Trevor White
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    7
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Trevor White
  • Show Website
    The Connection Drive