The Curious Pause

Pam Lob
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Personal Journals

The Curious Pause is a place to step away from the noise, take a breath and explore life from a different perspective. Join author Pam Lob for short, thought-provoking episodes weaving together ancient wisdom, wellbeing, spirituality, writing, life experience and the occasional unexpected rabbit hole. Grab a cuppa, get curious, and take a few minutes to pause, listen and remember.

  1. 1d ago

    When Grief Comes Calling Again

    Sometimes a book reaches into the past and brings memories back that you weren't expecting. I've just finished reading Searching: A Love Story by Ian Proud, a novel set against the devastating Boxing Day tsunami of 2004. Ian was working at the British Embassy in Bangkok at the time and was one of the first British diplomats sent into the disaster zone. His own experiences of the tsunami and its aftermath, including PTSD, helped inspire the novel. Reading it took me straight back to that same Christmas. While the world watched the unimaginable devastation unfolding in Thailand, my family was facing a very different kind of loss. My husband, Sandy, was dying from leukaemia. Against the odds, we'd managed to bring him home for Christmas. He died just a couple of weeks later, in January 2005. More than twenty years on, Ian's story brought some of those memories back and made me reflect on grief, how differently we each cope with it, and the things I've learnt through my own experience and my later work as a counsellor. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. For me, coping initially meant keeping incredibly busy. Looking back, I can see how exhausting that became and how close I came to burnout before somebody recognised what was happening and helped me to stop. We can become very good at saying: I'm fine. I can cope. I don't need anybody. But sometimes the very people we push away are the people we most need to let in. In this episode of The Curious Pause, I reflect on death, grief and PTSD, why we find death so difficult to talk about, and why allowing ourselves to receive support can be part of finding our way through loss. We never forget the people we've lost. They become part of who we are, and those experiences shape us. But we don't have to navigate grief alone. Love will always win the day if we allow it. 📖 Searching: A Love Story Ian Proud's novel follows Hatty and Monty, whose relationship is changed by the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and its aftermath. Ian draws on his own experience working in the disaster zone in Thailand and living with PTSD afterwards. You can find out more about Ian and Searching: A Love Story here: Ian Proud's official website: https://www.prouddiplomat.com/ In this episode 🌿 A novel that unexpectedly brought memories of my own grief back 🌿 Christmas 2004, the Boxing Day tsunami and the final weeks of Sandy's life 🌿 Why death is something we still struggle to talk about 🌿 Why there is no "right" way to grieve 🌿 How keeping constantly busy became my way of coping 🌿 The importance of recognising when coping becomes exhaustion 🌿 Why grief can make us push away the very people we need 🌿 Letting other people support us when life becomes too much If you're struggling If you're living with grief, depression or PTSD and finding it difficult to cope, please reach out. Talk to someone you trust or seek support from an appropriate professional or support organisation. You don't have to carry everything alone. Pause. Listen. Remember.

    When Grief Comes Calling Again

  2. 3d ago

    The Heart as Home - Love, Healing, and Self-Compassion

    What if the heart is not just a pump, but a doorway back to your most authentic self? Pam explores the heart as science, symbolism, and healing all at once - and why learning to soften around it may change how you love, grieve, and live.She traces the heart’s deeper role across cultures and modern research, from the heart-brain connection and heart coherence to the intriguing reports from heart transplant recipients who describe shifts in taste, personality, and even memory-like experiences. Then the episode turns inward, into the way early hurt can teach us to build walls around the heart - and how those defenses can follow us into adulthood.You'll hear Pam reflect on her own childhood, the independence she learned early, and the long inner work of becoming more vulnerable, self-compassionate, and open. She shares a powerful reframing: maybe healing is not about creating something new, but reconnecting with something that was never truly broken.You'll discover: Why heart coherence matters for emotional wellbeing and healingWhat makes the heart-brain relationship so much more mysterious than most of us realizeWhy transplant stories keep raising big questions about consciousness and identityHow childhood protection patterns can become lifelong habitsThe difference between self-love as a slogan and self-love as real compassion Pam also makes a case for emotional wholeness - the idea that love includes joy, grief, anger, fear, and tenderness, not just the pleasant parts. If you’ve ever felt guarded, overly self-reliant, or unsure how to be kind to yourself, this conversation offers a gentle but profound invitation to come home.Perfect for anyone drawn to heart-centered healing, emotional resilience, spirituality, and the deeper meaning of gratitude. By the end, you may find yourself seeing the heart not as a destination, but as a home you’ve had all along. Timestamps 00:00 - Gratitude begins in the heart 00:29 - The heart as love, wisdom, and a "little brain" 00:58 - Heart coherence and the heart's energetic field 01:26 - Heart transplant stories and questions about memory 02:33 - The heart, body, brain, and consciousness 03:02 - Early childhood protection and building walls around the heart 04:25 - Learning to soften, trust, and feel vulnerable 05:28 - Self-love as compassion, forgiveness, and rest 06:24 - Love includes grief, anger, and pain 06:55 - Emotions moving through us like they do in children 07:29 - A simple heart-centered practice for daily life 07:59 - Rumi on love beyond separation

    The Heart as Home - Love, Healing, and Self-Compassion

  3. 5d ago

    Fireworks: Do We Really Need Them at Home?

    🎆 In this episode I talk about why Bonfire Night has become much more than one night, the effect of unpredictable fireworks on people with PTSD and sensory sensitivities, the impact on pets, livestock and wildlife, firework injuries and the surprising danger of sparklers, and the amount of money we spend on something that disappears within seconds. Every November I find myself asking the same question: why do we still need to set fireworks off at home? I'm not against fireworks. I enjoy a spectacular organised display as much as anyone. But organised displays happen at a known time and place. You can choose whether to attend, and people and pet owners who struggle with the noise can prepare. Private fireworks are different. A sudden explosion doesn't feel like entertainment to everyone. For veterans and others living with PTSD, an unexpected bang can be deeply distressing. Autistic people and others with sensory sensitivities may find the unpredictable noise overwhelming. Then there are our animals. Dogs hiding or trying to escape, horses and livestock panicking in fields, and wildlife with no understanding of why their normally quiet world has suddenly erupted in explosions. And fireworks cause real injuries. Historically, around 1,000 firework injuries a year were recorded in Britain. The Children's Burns Trust says more than 550 children under 16 are taken to A&E during the four weeks surrounding Bonfire Night. Even the seemingly innocent sparkler can burn at temperatures approaching 2,000°C. Then there's the money. The UK fireworks industry has been described as being worth around £200 million a year. Just imagine what even a fraction of that money could do elsewhere. So I'm not calling for an end to fireworks. I'm asking something much simpler: Do we really need to let them off at home? There are organised displays across the country. They're spectacular, predictable, managed by professionals and many raise money for charities and local organisations. Is a few minutes of colour in the sky worth the fear it may cause to the veteran down the road, the dog hiding under the table, the horse panicking in a field, the wildlife we never see or the child who ends the evening in A&E? Sometimes traditions deserve to be celebrated. And sometimes they deserve to be questioned. Pause. Ponder. And perhaps this time, leave the fireworks to the organised displays. Children's Burns Trust – Fireworks https://cbtrust.org.uk/get-informed/causes-of-burns-and-preventions/fireworks/ UK Government – Fireworks and Pyrotechnics in the UK https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/fireworks-and-pyrotechnics-in-the-uk/fireworks-and-pyrotechnics-in-the-uk NHS England – Firework and burns injuries https://www.england.nhs.uk/2019/11/demand-for-nhs-burns-care-soars-over-bonfire-night-and-diwali/ UK Parliament – Firework injury hospital admissions https://questions-statements.parliament.uk/written-questions/detail/2025-11-10/88976 House of Commons – Fireworks Sale and Use debate https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/2024-12-09/debates/CCC2EF11-D537-40A7-9D1F-3451071819B5/FireworksSaleAndUse I’ve written a more in-depth article on this subject going into the horrifying statistics https://pamlob.substack.com/p/why-do-we-still-allow-fireworks

    Fireworks: Do We Really Need Them at Home?

  4. Oct 30

    What Happens When You Listen to the Ideas That Find You?

    Pam reflects on the experience of a story or character arriving seemingly from nowhere, using her character Monia as an example. She explores how listening to those inner nudges can lead to richer writing, unexpected research, and a deeper connection to creativity. In this episode, Pam shares how Monia appeared during a writing retreat and then deepened through meditation at a Hay House writers boot camp, eventually shaping the Daughter of the Solstice books. She also considers whether creative ideas come from imagination, the subconscious, intuition, or something larger, and why the source may matter less than what the idea helps us create. Key topics Pam introduces the idea of listening beyond the mind, body, and emotions to the sudden arrival of a character or image.Monia first appeared as an older woman teaching a young girl about becoming a daughter of Gaia.A later meditation at a Hay House writers boot camp gave Monia a stronger voice and backstory.Pam describes Monia's childhood in the Emerald Isles, her escape after family tragedy, and the beginning of Daughter of the Solstice.The story expands into Kemet, ancient Egypt, including the Mouseion in Alexandria, temples, the Sphinx, and the pyramids.Pam explains her process: images often come first, then she researches to find real places that match what she has already sensed.She wonders whether the images come from imagination, subconscious memory, past lives, or the collective unconscious.Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic is referenced for the idea that ideas have lives of their own and may move on if not acted on.Carl Jung's concept of the collective unconscious is used as another possible framework for where creative material comes from.What matters most to Pam is that listening to Monia brought her back to writing, expanded her knowledge, and rekindled her love of the process. Timestamps 00:00 - How a character can arrive from nowhere 00:30 - Monia appears during a writing retreat 01:08 - Meditation at Hay House writers boot camp 01:37 - Monia's origins in the Emerald Isles 02:07 - Writing ancient Egypt without modern distraction 02:34 - Images first, research second 03:19 - Journey into ancient India and China 03:47 - Writing as if inside the story 04:15 - Elizabeth Gilbert on ideas with their own lives 04:42 - Carl Jung and the collective unconscious 05:08 - Why the origin of an idea may not matter 05:35 - How Monia brought Pam back to writing 06:02 - The real question: what happens if you listen? 06:32 - Listening as a way to reconnect with Gaia Notable quotes "Perhaps sometimes we simply need to become quiet enough to notice what's already trying to reach us." "What matters to me is what has happened since I listened." "Perhaps the more interesting question is, what will happen if I listen to it?"

    What Happens When You Listen to the Ideas That Find You?

  5. Oct 28

    Notice What’s Already Here - Gratitude as a daily noticing practice

    Pam shares a simple, grounded reflection on gratitude and why it matters beyond surface-level positivity. Drawing from a dog walk, everyday comforts, and her counseling work, she explains how a no-repeat gratitude journal can retrain attention and help you notice more of what is already present. Key topics Gratitude as a way to reconnect with body, mind, and soul through small daily pausesWhy gratitude is not denial of grief, illness, or financial difficultyLessons from seeing resilience and pride in people living with far less material comfortHow everyday details can become gratitude anchors: tea, clean water, a warm bed, a dog greeting you, flowers, sunlight, and kind interactionsThe gratitude journal exercise Pam used with clients: write 3 to 5 things each night, with no repeatsHow the no-repeat rule forces deeper noticing, not just recycled phrasesWhy keeping the practice at bedtime can redirect the mind away from worry and ruminationHow repeated gratitude practice turns into a daylong habit of attention rather than a bedtime taskThe central point that gratitude is less about forcing positive feelings and more about noticing what we usually walk past Timestamps (00:21) Why gratitude came up after a morning dog walk(00:49) Finding gratitude in weather, home, and a simple walk(01:48) Gratitude is not pretending life is easy(02:17) Seeing pride and care in people living with less(02:56) How focus on what we lack crowds out what we have(03:24) Small everyday things that are easy to overlook(03:52) The gratitude journal exercise Pam used with clients(04:21) The no-repeat rule and why it deepens awareness(05:20) Gratitude as training your attention(06:20) Why gratitude helps quiet bedtime worry(06:50) The invitation to start tonight with three things(07:18) Noticing what you usually walk straight past Action items Find a small notebook and keep it beside your bedTonight, write down 3 things you are grateful forTomorrow night, write 3 different things with no repeatsNotice what starts to change during the dayPause during ordinary moments and ask: what have I noticed that I can appreciate right now?

    Notice What’s Already Here - Gratitude as a daily noticing practice

  6. Oct 26

    All the Colours of Being Human

    Pam explores emotions as part of being human and considers how they connect the body, mind and experiences around us. She describes emotions as immediate bodily responses that the mind then interprets—and notes that feelings can arise even when we’re safely at home, thinking about the past or anticipating the future. Drawing on her own experience of learning to suppress anger, Pam reflects on how judging or pushing away emotions can make it harder to understand them. Instead, she suggests noticing what you feel, acknowledging it without letting it control your actions, and finding safe ways to express it. Emotions, she says, can offer clues: anger may signal a crossed boundary, fear may be protective, and sadness may point to a meaningful loss. The episode invites us to get curious about our feelings, allow them to change, and ask what we need—rather than trying to feel good all the time. In this episode How bodily responses and the mind shape emotional experiencesWhy some of us learned to label certain feelings as unacceptablePam’s experience of suppressing and acknowledging angerFinding safe ways to express difficult emotionsWhat emotions may be communicatingPausing to ask what you’re feeling and what you need Chapters 0:21 Emotions, feelings and the body0:49 The body’s immediate response1:17 How the mind interprets an experience1:40 Shifting attention—and letting feelings be felt1:49 Messages we learn about emotions2:17 The impact of judging or suppressing feelings2:45 Pam’s experience with anger3:15 Acknowledging and expressing anger safely4:07 Emotions as a full spectrum4:49 Getting curious about what feelings may tell us5:17 Emotions as messengers5:44 Pausing to feel and ask what you need6:20 Making space for the full range of emotions

    All the Colours of Being Human

  7. Oct 23

    Walk, Notice, Connect

    Life can feel busy and frenetic. In this episode, Pam explores mindful walking as a simple way to slow down, reconnect with yourself and become more aware of the world around you. Walking through the local countryside, she describes tuning in to the feeling of each step, the rhythm of your breath, and the sounds and sights along the way. Mindful walking isn’t limited to nature either. It can be practised on a busy city street, noticing the people, traffic, buildings and shop windows you might normally pass without a second glance. The walk takes Pam along an old stone route once used by mill workers travelling between villages and mills, whatever the weather and even in the dark. Reflecting on how carefully they would have needed to navigate their surroundings, she considers how easy it is today to become distracted by our phones and miss what is happening around us. She ends with a simple invitation: put the phone away, take a walk and notice what you discover. In this episode What mindful walking is and how to practise itNoticing your feet, breath and surroundingsBringing mindful awareness to city walksThe history of an old route used by mill workersHow our phones can disconnect us from our surroundingsFinding greater awareness and gratitude in everyday life Chapters 0:21 Introducing mindful walking 0:50 You can walk mindfully anywhere 1:18 Tuning in to your body and breath 1:48 Noticing the landscape around you 2:19 An old path between village and mills 2:47 Walking the route in all weather 3:16 Travelling in the dark 3:41 Navigating the path and its obstacles 4:11 What mindful walking means today 5:09 Bringing awareness to city walks 5:36 A simple invitation to try mindful walking

    Walk, Notice, Connect

  8. Oct 21

    The Body Whispers

    Pam turns from the mind to the body, reflecting on how easy it is to overlook its signals in the rush of everyday life. Hunger, thirst, tiredness, tension and the need to move or rest are all ways the body communicates—yet we often push through or dismiss what we feel. She encourages a more curious and compassionate relationship with the body: alongside seeking medical care when needed, consider how sleep, food, movement, stress and emotions may be affecting your wellbeing. Pam also shares simple ways to care for the body, from walking and gardening to dancing around the kitchen, and invites us to appreciate the remarkable work our bodies do every day. In this episode Listening to signals like hunger, tiredness and tensionFinding balance between body, mind and spiritExploring sleep, food, movement, rest and stressChoosing enjoyable ways to stay activeAppreciating your body without focusing on criticismCaring for and listening to the body you have Chapters 0:21 Moving from the mind to the body0:45 The body’s remarkable ability to heal1:14 Finding balance and listening inward1:38 Everyday signals we may ignore2:07 When the body whispers or shouts2:36 Health, illness and seeking medical care3:07 Questions to explore alongside medical support3:34 Rest, nature and nurturing the body4:02 Finding enjoyable ways to move4:31 Everyday movement and getting outside4:53 Pam’s thoughts on sunlight and vitamin D5:21 Building a relationship with your body5:39 Appreciating what your body does6:08 Nourishing, moving, resting and listening

    The Body Whispers
See All (14)

Trailer

About

The Curious Pause is a place to step away from the noise, take a breath and explore life from a different perspective. Join author Pam Lob for short, thought-provoking episodes weaving together ancient wisdom, wellbeing, spirituality, writing, life experience and the occasional unexpected rabbit hole. Grab a cuppa, get curious, and take a few minutes to pause, listen and remember.

Information

  • Creator
    Pam Lob
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Pam Lob
  • Show Website
    The Curious Pause