Ze Admiral: Rules for a Good Life

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Rules for a good life, delivered every weekday morning by a pompous French admiral who rants, at length and with total certainty, about everything you are doing wrong. Ze Admiral is an AI voice. His music: hno-productions.com/ze-admiral

  1. 6h ago

    You told me you were turning to port, and you lied

    Every Friday at eleven at night, a hatchback stops under the Admiral's window and sounds two short blasts. At sea, two short blasts mean a ship is altering its course to port, and this car has never turned. Tonight François answers from the balcony, and the Admiral tells you how a civilised person calls at a house. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  2. 1d ago

    You obtained my compliment by fraud

    The Admiral praised your tart in front of your guests and said it reminded him of his mother's. Then he found the box under the sink. Tonight he explains what homemade means in French law, why the State drew it as a saucepan with a roof, and how his compliment goes back to the shop that earned it. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  3. 2d ago

    You sent Mayday about a charger

    The Admiral's niece wrote MAYDAY to eleven relatives at eleven at night, and he was halfway down the stairs in his boots before she found her charger. At sea, trouble has a scale, and every step of it is French. Tonight he takes Mayday back, teaches you the smaller word, and locks the big one in a drawer. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  4. 3d ago

    You brought me the flower of the dead

    On his birthday the Admiral opened his door and was handed a pot of chrysanthemums from the supermarket rack, with the price still on. In France that flower has one appointment a year, and it is today, the Day of the Dead. Tonight he explains why the baker now hands him his bread as if to his widow, and where the pot is going. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  5. 6d ago

    Pardon my French

    The Académie française has guarded the language since 1635. You swore at a printer and blamed France. From now on, the Admiral says, it is pardon my English. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  6. Oct 29

    Your clock is English

    In 1911 France agreed to set its clocks by Greenwich and wrote the law without ever saying the word. On Sunday you said GMT in a kitchen. The Admiral teaches you the correct way to tell the time. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  7. Oct 28

    Your wine has stars

    An emperor asked the brokers of Bordeaux to rank the wines in 1855, and the list has hardly moved since. You asked a man in a car park. The Admiral confiscates your telephone and sends you to the wine shop. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

  8. Oct 27

    You eat your lunch on your keyboard

    French law forbids letting workers eat where they work, and UNESCO lists the French meal. You have a crumb from Tuesday under the H. The Admiral orders one hour, a real table and a human face. Ze Admiral is an AI voice.

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Rules for a good life, delivered every weekday morning by a pompous French admiral who rants, at length and with total certainty, about everything you are doing wrong. Ze Admiral is an AI voice. His music: hno-productions.com/ze-admiral

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