What happens when a homeless artist pretends to be an employer—and thousands of people take his fictional job advertisements seriously? In March 2004, LG Williams was unemployed, without stable housing, and working from public computers at the University of California, San Diego's Geisel Library. Instead of answering another employment advertisement, he reversed the arrangement: he invented employers, advertised impossible jobs, and transformed Craigslist into an international exhibition. This audio edition presents the complete text of Artist / Fix-It-Man, one of five fictional employment advertisements from Williams's larger Help Wanted online exhibition (2004). Inspired directly by Williams's late friend and mentor Wally Hedrick, Artist / Fix-It-Man demands an almost superhuman combination of artistic talent, mechanical competence, intellectual independence, moral character, and professional nonconformity. In return, the position offers minimum wage, no benefits, no advancement, and virtually no security. Its ideal candidate must possess an exceptional work ethic, an inability to take New York City seriously, and a natural capacity to remain wholly uncooperative. The joke is deadly serious. Across sixteen metropolitan markets, the five advertisements generated more than 5,000 reported replies. Some respondents applied sincerely. Others praised, denounced, threatened, flirted, offered employment, or proposed romantic relationships. Approximately 500 exchanges survive in the published archive. The exhibition turned a website's ordinary employment machinery into an artistic system: advertisements became artworks, job seekers became unwitting participants, and recorded removals and repostings became part of the work's history. But beneath the comedy lies a darker reversal. The man offering imaginary employment was himself seeking real work, shelter, and economic stability. Help Wanted exposed the ease with which professional authority could be manufactured through the language of qualifications, institutional expectations, and online advertisements. The result is simultaneously a parody of recruitment culture, a tribute to Hedrick's anti-institutional independence, and a disturbing experiment in the relationship between art, labor, deception, and economic vulnerability. Written by LG Williams. Original advertisement dated March 5, 2004. Complete exhibition archive: lgwilliams.com The Book — Help Wanted: The Complete Resource PCP Press, 2017. 359 pages. Available on Amazon: amazon.com Publisher's website, book info and complete catalogue: pcppress.com More at: lgwilliams.com, lgwilliams.substack.com, and pcppress.substack.com. LG Williams is an American artist, writer, publisher, critic, art historian, and educator. His practice spans visual art, publishing, criticism, pedagogy, and digital projects. He received his B.F.A. in Sculpture from the Kansas City Art Institute and his M.F.A. in Visual Art from the University of California, Davis. He has exhibited nationally and internationally, including at The Internet Pavilion of La Biennale di Venezia, Ludwig Forum für Internationale Kunst, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, Laguna Art Museum, the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, Crocker Art Museum, and di Rosa Art Preserve, as well as at Artissima, Art Cologne, ARCO, and ART-O-RAMA.