HARKpodcast

HARKpodcast
  • 4.6 (20)
  • MUSIC
  • UPDATED MONTHLY

Your hosts Ian & RJ review and rank every Christmas, Hanukkah, winter, holiday, et cetera song. All of 'em. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones.

  1. FEB 18

    Episode 404: Episode Not Found

    ERROR: WE RECORDED AFTER 8PM CAUTION: Only listen to year-round holiday podcasts from people you trust. Ian and Jam listened to two versions of a song called "S.A.N.T.A. Dot Com". Do you wish to proceed? DETAILS: The ranking music in this episode is "I'm Gonna E-Mail Santa" by Billy Gilman.

    1h 1m

  2. FEB 4

    Episode 403: A Family Can Be a Belgian Women's Choir and Two Guys

    It's almost Family Day here in British Columbia, and to celebrate, we've got a tenuously connected episode theme! By request, we listen to "Christmas Must Be Tonight" as performed by SCALA and Kolacny Brothers, a song about the son of a carpenter. Then we pair it with "Let's Make a Baby King" by Wynnona Judd, a song about that same guy and also his mom and also his cousin, and also maybe the concept of an infant-based form of government. The ranking music in this episode is "Nothing But a Child" by Steve Earle. Thank you to Liam for requesting this version of "Christmas Must Be Tonight"!

    55 min

  3. JAN 21

    Episode 402: A Homeopathic Amount of Grinch

    Of course we wouldn't let January pass us by without celebrating our second-most-cursed annual tradition, Grinch Rap Granuary! But, unfortunately, this is the last one. For real this time. We're scraping the bottom of the Grinch Rap barrel with "Like The Grinch" by Gucci Mane, so hopefully "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" by Pentatonix will be the stake in the heart that this thing requires. RIP Grinch Rap Granuary! The ranking music in this episode is "Grinch 2000" by Busta Rhymes featuring Jim Carrey.

    53 min

  4. JAN 7

    Episode 401: If I Were a Slowking

    As the twelve days of Christmas come to a close once again, we're celebrating Epiphany with two songs about three men. By listener request, we check out "We Three Slow Kings" by Electric Santa, a song that may or may not be a joke, and "If I Were a Wise Man" by Flannel Graph, an undoubtedly sincere song with a familiar Sufjan-esque flavor. The ranking music in this episode is "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield, which is the song Ian couldn't remember the name of. Thank you to Matt for these requests!

    52 min

  5. 12/24/2025

    Episode 400: The Piss Tangent of It All

    In this milestone episode, Jam and Ian add the 799th (???) and 800th (!!!) songs to HARK's massive, unruly list. Jam aims for the top of the list with a near-classic and the hosts talk about Jesus for a while, with just a liiiittle heresy (as a treat).  Then Ian uses his bottom pick to launch an exploratory mission into a new kind of bad song and raise some philosophical questions about the future of novelty Christmas music in an age of machine-generated vocals. The ranking music in this episode is "Jesus Christ" by Big Star.

    1h 20m

  6. 12/10/2025

    Episode 399: Chanukah, Take Me Home

    Hanukkah is fast approaching! And to celebrate, we have two songs... well, OK. We have one song about Hanukkah, and one song about Not Christmas. "Chanukah in West Virginia" by Scott Simons wraps a somewhat sad sentiment in a cheerful package (for better or worse), while "Chinese Food on Christmas" by Brandon Walker is a thoroughly silly celebration of not celebrating. The ranking music in this episode is "No War on Xmas", also by Scott Simons!

    51 min

  7. 11/27/2025

    Episode 398: Support Your Local Ugly Sweater

    You may be wondering why this episode is going up on a Thursday instead of a Wednesday. Well, first of all, it's technically still Wednesday in our time zone, and this episode is all about going local! And second... we are adjacent to the ball. In this episode, we're encouraging you to shop local, support Wikipedia, and listen along with us to two holiday-sweater-themed songs: "Ugly Xmas Sweater Party" by girlhouse and "I Wanna Take You Out In Your Holiday Sweater" by PAS/CAL. The ranking music in this episode is "Christmas Unicorn" by Sufjan Stevens.

    50 min

  8. 11/12/2025

    Episode 397: Birthday Boi's Choose Your Own Adventure

    It's Jam's birthday! To find out the first song they selected, go to Paragraph 2 (P2). To skip ahead to the ranking music, go to P5. P2: It was "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" by Fall Out Boy! For their second selection, they give Ian two options -- past or future. If you think he should choose "future", go to P3. If you prefer "past", go to P4. P3: Ian chose the same thing! And the song was, unfortunately, "Feels Like Christmas" by Panic! At the Disco. All that's left is learning the ranking music -- go to P5! P4: Oh no! Ian didn't choose this option. Also, you slipped on an icy patch and fell down a well. Oops!!! P5: The ranking music in this episode is "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" as performed by Skatune Network. Yay, you did it!

    1h 4m
See All (409)

4.6
out of 5
20 Ratings

About

Your hosts Ian & RJ review and rank every Christmas, Hanukkah, winter, holiday, et cetera song. All of 'em. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones.

Information

  • Creator
    HARKpodcast
  • Years Active
    2015 - 2026
  • Episodes
    409
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © All rights reserved
  • Show Website
    HARKpodcast