96 episodes

In 2015 one woman decided to sit on a sidewalk to listen to strangers to understand what was making us sick, lonely, and divided. Today over 8000 people join Traci Ruble in their endeavor to cultivate their own heart-centered listening in a world that values talking at, fixing, advice giving, and therapizing.

Listen in as Traci talks to all different kinds of people and practice listening with heart and you hear the podcast.

To join, you can visit www.sidewalk-talk.org

Sidewalk Talk Traci Ruble

    • Society & Culture
    • 5.0 • 22 Ratings

In 2015 one woman decided to sit on a sidewalk to listen to strangers to understand what was making us sick, lonely, and divided. Today over 8000 people join Traci Ruble in their endeavor to cultivate their own heart-centered listening in a world that values talking at, fixing, advice giving, and therapizing.

Listen in as Traci talks to all different kinds of people and practice listening with heart and you hear the podcast.

To join, you can visit www.sidewalk-talk.org

    Exploring Male Sexuality, Consent, and Tender Heartedness with Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud

    Exploring Male Sexuality, Consent, and Tender Heartedness with Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud

    In this enlightening episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, your host Traci Ruble engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud, a prominent couple's therapist specializing in male sexuality. Their discussion delves into the complex world of male sexuality, consent, and the significance of emotional intelligence within relationships.
    Traci expresses her deep admiration for Dr. Fitz's work and the unique lens through which he views male sexuality, emphasizing his dedication to issues related to consent and patriarchy.
    One of the highlights of the episode is the exploration of Dr. Fitz's groundbreaking book published this week, "The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex." Traci feels so strongly about the potential of this book to radically alter sex from a pressure tug-of-war between partners to something magical.
    Dr. Fitz underscores the importance of men reconnecting with their tender hearts and nurturing authentic relationships. He argues that this is key to unlocking their true power and satisfaction.
    The conversation takes an intriguing turn as they discuss the potential conflict between tenderness and sexiness. Dr. Fitz illuminates how embracing tenderness can create safety within relationships and enhance intense sexual experiences.
     
    Episode Timeline
    [00:09] Intro 
    [0:58] Meet Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud aka “Dr. Fitz”
    [7:33] Men’s power comes from their tenderheartedness
    [9:04] Different erotic styles. 
    [11:37] Consent leads to more pleasure
    [18:08] Gender essentialism and what transmen can teach all men about sexual pleasure.
    [23:51] How sexual shame shows up.
    [32:04] How to liberate men from patriarchy?
    [37:51] Dr. Fitz’s message to Sidewalk Talk listeners
    [39:50] Outro
     
    Resources Mentioned
    The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex (Book)
     
    Standout Quotes
    “...our love, our capacity to connect, our capacity to be in genuine, authentic relationship, is where our deepest power comes from - men or people of any gender.” (Dr. Fitz)
    “Consent culture can take place in the therapist's office or the boardroom or anywhere we meet and connect with each other.” (Dr. Fitz)
    “We get caught in these conflicting messages with very few messages that confirm for us the innate essence of goodness in us, that our sexuality is good, that our desire and capacity for love is real and needed in the world.” (Dr. Fitz)
    “...a penis being hard ejaculating the way that you think it ought to or somebody's told you it ought to, isn't essential to being a man. It isn't essential to being a good lover, because that trans man over there can be a good lover too.” (Dr. Fitz)
    “...if we don't attend to the flowing water of sexuality, it's still flowing. And if we don't attend to where it's going, it will continue filling up whatever reservoir we've bottled it up into until it will overflow our boundaries and it will feel out of control for us.” (Dr. Fitz)
    Find | Sidewalk Talk 
    At sidewalk-talk.org
    On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
    On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
     
    Find | Traci Ruble
    At Traciruble.com
    On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
     
    Find | Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud
    At www.drericfitz.com
    On Instagram: @drericfitz
    On Facebook: @drericfitz
    On TikTok: @drericfitz
    On LinkedIn: @drericfitz
    On Twitter: @drericfitz

    • 40 min
    Reinventing Masculinity Will Allow Men to Live Longer Happier Lives | Ed Frauenheim

    Reinventing Masculinity Will Allow Men to Live Longer Happier Lives | Ed Frauenheim

    Reinventing Masculinity Will Allow Men to Live Longer Happier Lives | Ed Frauenheim
    Ed Frauenheim is a consultant and co-author of four books, including A Great Place to Work For All and Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection.
    Ed and Traci share how old-school masculinity has harmed both of their lives.  Ed gives concrete instructions on what all of us can do today to begin to reinvent masculinity.
    Episode Timeline
    [00:09] Intro 
    [0:58] Meet Ed
    [4:16] Ed’s Heartbreaks
    [8:25] Liberating masculinity from “bad guy branding”
    [11:55] Expressing feelings instead of getting violent
    [16:45] Men’s earliest friendships 
    [23:03] Why men don’t listen
    [28:34] Men as unconscious ATM machines
    [39:47] Attachment wounds in marriage
    [45:50] Underneath men’s anger is a broken heart
    [47:40] Closing
    [49:35] Outro
     
    Resources Mentioned
    Reinventing Masculinity (Book)
     
    Standout Quotes
    “I've had my own heartbreaks, you might say, or a lot of sadness and struggle and shame around not fitting into the typical categories and not meeting the expectations of being a winner, a high-performing professional that rises to the top of an organization, a clutch sports performer, even a lady killer.” (Ed)
    “...elevating how important it is to be compassionate and connected as men today.” (Ed)
    “I'm interested in justice and liberation from confining roles that our society puts on all of us.” (Traci)
    “It's borne out in the data that when men really adhere to those conventional beliefs very strictly, they don't live as long. They have worse health outcomes in general.” (Ed)
    “The single biggest factor for health and a long, happy life is friendships.” (Ed)
    “Men get this message at some point, especially in adolescence, that you’ve got to be the smartest guy in the room. And to be curious and ask questions is seen as weak, and we can't be weak. We smush out that curiosity.” (Ed)
    “We've been told to be courageous and we are often courageous in the physical realm, in the financial realm, but not necessarily the realm of feelings.” (Ed)
    “You can tell how hungry we are as men, as human beings for connection.” (Ed) 
     
    Connect:
    Find | Sidewalk Talk 
    At sidewalk-talk.org
    On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
    On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
     
    Find | Traci Ruble
    At Traciruble.com
    On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
     
    Find | Ed Frauenheim
    At www.edfrauenheim.com
    On LinkedIn: @edfrauenheim
     
    SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST
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    • 49 min
    How to Break our Addiction To Othering with Dawn Menken

    How to Break our Addiction To Othering with Dawn Menken

    Dawn Menken, PhD. has been working in the field of psychology and facilitator development for over 35 years. She is an internationally respected educator, therapist, leadership coach, and conflict resolution specialist. She co-founded the Process Work Institute, a not-for-profit graduate school dedicated to the training of facilitators, where she co-created its Masters's programs and served as academic dean for more than a decade. She is the author of Facilitating a More Union: A Guide for Politicians and Leaders, which offers a radical and innovative approach to political discourse. She is also the author of the award-winning book Raising Parents Raising Kids: Hands-on Wisdom for the Next Generation. In all of her endeavors, she is moved to improve social discourse and inspire more meaningful civic engagement.
    Join Traci and Dawn as they explore the foundations of process work and how it can help us shift out of polarization.  Dawn reads the most beautiful speech she would give to the Charlottesville rioters. In this speech she overcomes her terror as a Jewish woman and models how we all can confront our addiction to “other” by speaking both ferociously and compassionately.  
    Episode Timeline

    [00:09] Intro 
    [0:58] Meet Dawn
    [4:19] Professor Ben Thompson introduces Dawn to Arnold Mindell’s work during a class on the books of Carlos Castaneda about the Yaqui Mexican Indian Sorcerer, Don Juan Matus
    [9:29] What is the Dreambody?
    [11:47] Working On Body Symptoms
    [17:25] Norms or how we “should” be and busting out of stereotypes
    [21:11] The embodied unconscious
    [25:14] Otherizing and polarizing as a global human tendency
    [31:56] Dawn’s speech to the white nationalists in Charlottesville
    [36:09] Breaking our own addiction to othering people
    [43:32] Outro

    Resources Mentioned
    Facilitating a More Perfect Union (Book)
    Raising Parents Raising Kids (Book)
    The Process Work Institute
     
    Standout Quotes

    “...it's more about trying to explore what is emergent and trying to happen in you.” (Dawn)
    “I want to add the idea that we don't just have a platform and advocate for our one-sided views, but the facilitator or the leader must position herself also as a facilitator because you're not just leading one section of the world. We have to find a way to get along and to facilitate dialog.” (Dawn)
    “It's about the human tendency to otherize someone.” (Dawn)
    “This whole idea of otherizing is about how we also, as individuals, marginalize different parts of ourselves. Wholeness is really about connecting and getting on with that with which we marginalize internally, in our relationships, and in the world at large. (Dawn)
    “With all my years on this planet Earth, I am more interested in my larger goals of democracy and people getting along.” (Dawn)
    “...how to reach out to a side that you feel is so repulsive to you, and at the same time, take a stand. How to do both at the same time.” (Dawn)
    “I want to tell those protesters that deep down you have more in common with those whom you battle. You're looking for your place, that precious feeling of belonging and pride. (Dawn)
    It is the deepest human longing for all people who risk everything and flee violent circumstances to reside in these United States of America. There is room enough for all of us. (Dawn)
    We all need to feel our pride and sense of home without denigrating others. It is the only way forward. Feel pride in your vision to live in a country that insists on freedom and belonging for all people. (Dawn)
    Being one-sided is very addictive.
    If you have a humanistic view, if you have a view of people and community, the deepest religions talk about that. If you want to connect, if you want to understand and get along, then you have to go beyond your one-sided position. (Dawn)

     
    Connect:
    Find | Sidewalk Talk 
    At sidewalk-talk.org
    On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
    On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
     
    Find | Traci Ruble
    At Traciruble.com
    On Instagram: @TraciRubl

    • 46 min
    Normalize Loving Conflict Everywhere with Rosa Zubizaretta

    Normalize Loving Conflict Everywhere with Rosa Zubizaretta

    Rosa supports leaders and groups around the world to work creatively with divergent perspectives. Her mission is developing our collective capacity to transform friction into useful energy and greater insight. Author of From Conflict to Creative Collaboration, a manual on Dynamic Facilitation. She also just finished her Ph.D. so soon we should say Dr. Rosa Zubizaretta.  This has freed up her time to take on new clients after some time steeped in academia.
    What would happen if helping a neighbor with a conflict was as normal as waking up in the morning?  What if our companies had an ethos that conflict is not only natural but good and has a hearty system for restoring after conflict?  That is what Traci and Rosa discuss as well as why we need to not start with our most difficult political rivals but make resolving conflict with those close to us our first order of business.
    Episode Timeline

    [00:09] Intro 
    [1:41] Meet Rosa
    [3:21] Rosa’s contribution to the Sidewalk Talk Bus Tour
    [5:23] German and European ties
    [7:16] We need each other
    [8:51] De shame yourself
    [11:42] Common causes of conflict
    [15:43] How conflict is in heaven
    [18:56] Dominic Barter’s restorative circles
    [25:40] Start where it is easy
    [33:30] Love wrestling with your husband
    [38:08] Passionate conflict is an energy turbine
    [41:32] The roots of violence
    [46:18] Closing
    [48:35] Outro

    Resources Mentioned
    From Conflict to Creative Collaboration (Book)
    Standout Quotes

    “I just want to start with the fact that as human beings, we get into messes with each other” (Rosa)
    “Anybody can learn how to hold space productively for another person and listen deeply.” (Rosa)
    “If the 99 % could figure out how to do collaboration between us, we'd be so F* strong,” (Rosa)
    “But we grew up in a culture where we do not learn how to confront people with love. ” (Rosa)
    “Conflict happens when we're at our edge. It's like, there's an edge there. There's something that I don't know or understand yet, or something's getting triggered or something. And so it's a potential growth place. ” (Rosa)
    “I think conflict is a potentially renewable, sustainable source of energy ” (Rosa)
    “We just have to open the space so that we are not butt heads against each other, but that that passion gets harnessed.” (Rosa)

    Connect
    Find | Sidewalk Talk 
    At sidewalk-talk.org
    On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
    On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
     
    Find | Traci Ruble
    At Traciruble.com
    On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
     
    Find | Rosa Zubizarreta
    At www.diapraxis.com 
    www.co-intelligence.institute
    On LinkedIn: @rosazubizarreta
     
    SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST
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    • 48 min
    Being A Sacredly Powerful Human with Julio Maria Muhorro

    Being A Sacredly Powerful Human with Julio Maria Muhorro

    Julio Maria Muhorro is a power coach, facilitator, and speaker.  He uses his 10 years of experience in management, training, and research to enable entrepreneurs, leaders, and organizations to tap into their power so that they can engage with their stakeholders from a place of deep purpose, sharpen their offerings to deliver innovative services and digital products and tell transformational stories to drive long-lasting social and economic impact.
    Join Traci in a conversation with Julio where Traci asks Julio, “How can I use my power wisely?” Julio will lay out three concrete steps you will need to take and give you a heads-up on the significant resistance you will likely meet.  This is a podcast where you will likely want something to take notes with nearby.
     
    Episode Timeline

    [00:09] Intro 
    [2:58] Meet Julio
    [3:48] It isn’t about wealth and achievement
    [6:57] Saudade - Portuguese word to long to be with
    [11:16] It’s what you do with your power that counts
    [13:01] The will of nature and the will of the divine trumps human will
    [16:08] Three steps to using your power
    [25:54] Powerful on the sidewalk
    [29:55] Sharing your power with the right people
    [34:15] Boundaries and what is sacred
    [40:30] Closing
    [42:42] Outro

     
    Resources Mentioned
    Never Been Done Before Global Facilitator’s Community
     
    Standout Quotes

    “Power is tricky because we are real shitheads with power.” (Traci)
    “Power is not something that it can be given or taken from you because you are powerful because you exist.” (Julio)
    “...remember, you're not controlling your life. You are leading the co-creation of it.” (Julio)
    “A lot of the times there is a disassociation between what people are saying about you and how you see yourself.” (Julio)
    “We show up today not based on our performance and results that we achieved in the past, but based on what we believe is possible in the future.” (Julio)
    “It's getting in alignment with all the different wills, the human will, the natural will, and the divine will to choose the right people to be in this virtuous circle with.” (Traci)
    “What will it take for you to live in power now? Not to rest in power, not to have a powerful moment or a powerful day tomorrow, but to live in power now.” (Julio)
    “If you're not able to see the sacredness in you, everything else will fall apart. Because even if people are trying to honor that sacredness, you don't feel as though you deserve it. So you will sabotage it, you will deflect it.” (Julio) 

     
    Connect:
    Find | Sidewalk Talk 
    At sidewalk-talk.org
    On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
    On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
     
    Find | Traci Ruble
    At Traciruble.com
    On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
    On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
     
    Find | Julio Maria Muhorro
    At Link Tree
    On Instagram: @liveinpowernow
    On LinkedIn: @juliomuhorro
    On TikTokr: @liveinpowernow
     
     
    SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST
    On Apple Podcasts
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    On YouTube

    • 43 min
    What this crisis manager learned from indigenous wisdom | Thomas Lahnthaler

    What this crisis manager learned from indigenous wisdom | Thomas Lahnthaler

    Thomas Lanthaler drops into hot spots of crisis all over the world and helps people make decisions to get through the chaos as peacefully as possible.
    He is an experienced international crisis leader, experiential facilitator, and speaker with nearly two decades of experience across 30 countries. Thomas is the Founder and CEO of The Crisis Compass. This cross-sectoral consultancy acts as a partner and guide to companies genuinely interested in working with a crisis as a means for innovation. He advises leaders on all aspects of human-centered crisis management, confident decision-making, and making businesses crisis-ready using innovative tools to deal with uncertainty and challenging situations  - all centered around learning and communication to reframe crises into means of reinvention.
    In this episode of the Sidewalk Talk podcast, you will get an inside view of the life of a humanitarian crisis manager and learn what crisis management even is.  Then you will have the chance to go on a deep and soulful journey with Thomas as he experienced a new way of thinking about community care and self-responsibility while training with aboriginal leaders in Australia. 
    Episode Timeline

    [00:09] Intro 


    [0:58] Meet Thomas


    [7:35] Becoming a crisis manager


    [11:17] Fatherhood and how children are natural crisis managers


    [13:32] What is crisis management


    [17:21] When we label things a crisis


    [25:15] What are your non-negotiables?


    [31:40] Ritual and spirituality


    [39:17] An earth-based practice of collectivism


    [48:46] Closing


    [49:40] Outro

    Resources Mentioned
    Navigating Beyond Crisis (Book)
    Standout Quotes

    “If you make a small difference with just one person, you've already made a difference.” (Thomas)


    “A crisis is not an event. A crisis is basically the aftermath of it.” (Thomas)


    “If it's not a life or death crisis, no one is dying in front of you, there's always time.” (Thomas)


    “I deserve the acceptance here, but I also have to give acceptance because others are different and they will see it differently.” (Thomas)


    “I'm talking about the awareness, what it does to me if I actually let go.” (Thomas)


    “We're trying to do what you just talked about, sitting there on the land, trying to practice collectivism.” (Traci)

    Connect
    Find | Sidewalk Talk At sidewalk-talk.orgOn Instagram: @sidewalktalkorgOn Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
    Find | Traci RubleAt Traciruble.comOn Instagram: @TraciRubleMFTOn Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
    Find | Thomas LahnthalerAt www.thecrisiscompass.comOn LinkedIn: @thomaslahnthalerOn Medium:@thomas-89340
    Subscribe to this podcast
    On Apple Podcasts
    On Google Podcasts
    On Spotify
    On YouTube

    • 49 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
22 Ratings

22 Ratings

Zerf1 ,

Straight Talk with Heart

Traci Ruble doesn’t mince words but this isn’t harsh talk. Her style lets her get to the rich and nurturing heart of the matter quickly. What she’s talking about matters because she’s talking about the most important thing in all of our lives: human connection.

TYKNEE WIHNGZ PHAN ,

Uplifting and insightful!

This is my favorite podcast! Traci is both a connection expert and insanely inquisitive so her conversations with connection experts are heartfelt, authentic and full of lessons for all of us. This podcast makes me feel like we might just find our way back to each other.

A@r0nN ,

By far my favorite Podcast on the web

Rock solid topics, empathy, connection, compassion, spirituality, death, life, psychology, a wonderful host and each episode is deep, filled with wisdom and wit, intelligence and humanity

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