Stonks Gone Wrong

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A savage daily roast of the dumbest moves in the stock market. From clueless CEOs and meme stock meltdowns to shady earnings calls and Wall Street’s worst takes — we break the news and break down laughing. Think CNBC, but if the hosts were Reddit mods with nothing to lose. No financial advice. Just unfiltered market chaos, sarcasm, and stonk carnage. New episodes daily.

  1. 08/29/2025

    August 29, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    August 29, 2025 – Markets reacted to significant corporate developments as PepsiCo announced a $585 million investment to increase its stake in Celsius. Meanwhile, the University of Phoenix filed for an IPO, marking a shift in its growth strategy. Spirit Airlines faced scrutiny as it awarded executive bonuses amidst its second bankruptcy, prompting speculation about potential asset absorption by another airline. Analysts weighed in on the future of Spirit's assets. In personal finance news, long-term-care insurance costs continue to rise, raising concerns among retirees. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    3 min

  2. 08/28/2025

    August 28, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    August 28, 2025: Marvell’s shares decline following disappointing earnings amid AI market expectations. In contrast, Virgin Australia reports a strong annual profit, citing steady demand. Federal Reserve's Waller supports a series of interest-rate cuts over the next six months, while China's efforts to strengthen the yuan reflect growing economic optimism. Japanese stocks are predicted to continue their record rally due to a recent trade deal. Additionally, Affirm sees a profitable turnaround, driven by consumer interest in 0% APR loans. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    6 min

  3. 08/27/2025

    August 27, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    August 27, 2025 - US futures declined following underwhelming results from Nvidia, impacting market sentiment. Urban Outfitters experienced a sell-off despite reporting a strong quarter, raising concerns among analysts. In contrast, Snowflake surged as investors reacted positively to its earnings beat and AI momentum. Mineral Resources reported a significant loss driven by weakness in lithium prices. Meanwhile, Nvidia's CEO expressed optimism about expanding Blackwell into China. Additionally, a carry trade opportunity has emerged in Malaysia amid anticipated rate cuts. Stay tuned for a comprehensive market recap. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    3 min

  4. 08/26/2025

    August 26, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    Date: August 26, 2025. Asian stocks are poised to rebound as investors await Nvidia's results, while AMD's stock continues to rise amid heightened competition with Nvidia. Lilly's obesity pill trial results have garnered positive feedback from Wall Street. A BMO-led group is working to alleviate stuck debt related to HIG's Converge buyout. In political news, Rep. Maxine Waters expresses Democratic support for Cook in a significant fight. Stay tuned for these developments and more in today's market wrap. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    4 min

  5. 08/24/2025

    August 24, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    On August 24, 2025, U.S. stock futures remained flat following a rally sparked by the Federal Reserve. Asian markets are expected to advance after signals of a potential pivot from Fed Chair Jerome Powell. Pilbara Minerals reported its first annual loss in four years, while concerns grow over Guzman y Gomez's slowing growth impacting its stock. Retailers face low expectations ahead of earnings, contrasting with rising optimism for Nvidia. Analysts speculate that the Fed may cut rates in September, potentially extending the current stock rally. Wildfires in Oregon and California continue to escalate, prompting evacuations. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    4 min

  6. 08/23/2025

    August 23, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    August 23, 2025 – U.S. markets showed mixed movements as inflation is expected to edge up, influenced by Fed Chair Powell's comments on the job market. The Russell 2000 is gaining attention for its potential to outperform the S&P 500. In corporate news, the European Central Bank's Christine Lagarde noted the resilience of the labor market amid economic challenges. A recent paper from Jackson Hole suggests that the U.S. debt-to-GDP ratio of 250% will not lead to rising interest rates. Meanwhile, the Powerball jackpot has reached $700 million, drawing interest from lottery players. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    5 min

  7. 08/22/2025

    August 22, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    August 22, 2025: Markets reacted to mixed signals regarding Federal Reserve policy, with analysts like JPM's David Kelly suggesting a 50 basis point rate cut could be on the table. Job data released has been pivotal in shaping expectations for future rate decisions. Furniture company stocks declined as former President Trump announced a probe into furniture imports, hinting at potential tariffs. Meanwhile, Intel secured a 10% stake from the U.S. government, raising questions about future investments in the chip sector. Investors are advised to stay vigilant as developments unfold. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    3 min

  8. 08/20/2025

    August 20, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update

    On August 20, 2025, U.S. stocks experienced a decline while bond prices rose ahead of Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell's speech. Analysts noted a sell-off in tech stocks attributed to AI fatigue, with Jefferies’ Thill highlighting the trend. SoftBank's potential turnaround strategy for Intel was discussed, while Carvana's stock faced pressure linked to Amazon's market moves. AIA reported an increase in profitability from Hong Kong sales, contributing to a rising dividend. Analysts recommend investing in stocks as food inflation and demand for fresh produce persist. The market's behavior may be obscuring critical economic realities. Powered by LabCat AI research tools.

    4 min
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About

A savage daily roast of the dumbest moves in the stock market. From clueless CEOs and meme stock meltdowns to shady earnings calls and Wall Street’s worst takes — we break the news and break down laughing. Think CNBC, but if the hosts were Reddit mods with nothing to lose. No financial advice. Just unfiltered market chaos, sarcasm, and stonk carnage. New episodes daily.

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  • Creator
    Straight War Bets
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    88
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Straight War Bets