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5/01

New Year New Roast

SPONSORS: - Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code BEARS. Visit https://bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - This January, quit overspending on wireless with 50% off Unlimited premium wireless. Plans start at $15/month at https://mintmobile.com/BEARS. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears It’s the final Winter Bears of the season, and Stavros & Chris are ringing in the New Year the only way they know how: complaining about first class, overeating pastries, and making terrible life decisions! As 2025 wraps, the boys reflect on blown resolutions, chaotic travel plans, New Jersey “vacations,” and Chris’ catastrophic decision to roast the entire Jersey Shore cast. Plus: Delta lounge politics, childhood SNL trauma, double-the-bread-double-the-head, and Stav helping Chris talk through the worst career choice he’s ever made. Grab a croissant, buckle up, and celebrate the end of the Winter Bears era as we begin a new year! https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:09 - First Class Complaints & Latent Homo Things 00:09:00 - New Years Resolutions 00:18:27 - Roasting The Jersey Shore Cast 00:28:45 - Workshopping Roast Jokes 00:39:43 - This Is Probably A Dumb Idea 00:45:02 - The Jersey Shore Photo Roast Session 00:51:31 - New Years Plans & NFL Roasts 00:55:00 - More "Fan" Questions 01:03:37 - Final Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5/01

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1 h 8 min
-17 H

The End Of Humanity

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity. Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed. From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a “god,” and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 323 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York: call 8778- HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777 or visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Bert's First Threesome 00:05:58 - Mean Comments 00:13:05 - Hanging With The Kids During Christmas 00:30:02 - Stroke Of Luck 00:34:11 - Excess & Purging Stuff 00:44:05 - Weight Loss, Mounjaro & Jelly Roll 00:55:15 - Jake Paul Is A God? 01:01:01 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

-17 h

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1 h 3 min
24/12/2025

Jeans-Mas Vacation w/ Chevy Chase

SPONSORS: - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Go to https://quince.com/mom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner - Head to http://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Hallelujah! Where’s the Tylenol? It’s a very YMH Christmas, and the studio is lit up like Clark Griswold’s house because comedy legend Chevy Chase stops by! Tom and Christina unwrap holiday trauma, German Christmas music meltdowns, Santa vs. Baby Jesúska, dangerous European elevators, and the evolution of internet weirdos. Then Chevy joins to talk SNL, Three Amigos, the making of Vacation, Forrest Gump almost being his role, improv secrets, wild celebrity encounters, and why Richard Pryor was untouchable. Grab your eggnog and your wolf coat—this one is a Christmas classic. Your Mom’s House Ep. 841 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $200 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 1/11/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/4/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:11 - Merry Jeans-mas! 00:06:57 - Opening Clip: Cure For A Bad Day 00:08:57 - Threads, Diddy Doc, & Day Of The Jackal 00:19:51 - Clip: Chinese Girlfriend Song 00:20:49 - Situational Awareness 00:26:05 - Chevy Chase 00:30:15 - Saturday Night Live & Studio Comedies 00:39:42 - Other Roles, Directors, & Dan Aykroyd 00:46:53 - Presidents 00:50:12 - Carlin, Pryor, & The Bomb Squad 00:56:31 - The Legacy Of Vacation 01:03:05 - Wrap Up 01:04:41 - Closing Song - "Bedspread Shit" by Unknown Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24/12/2025

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1 h 8 min
20/10/2025

Robert DeNiro Didn't Wanna Be Friends w/ Sebastian Maniscalco

TEXAS! Tom will be in Amarillo at the Amarillo Civic Center Complex on November 1st, then November 2nd in Lubbock at Buddy Holly Hall and El Paso at the Abraham Chavez Theatre on November 6th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS to get a FREE Welcome Kit, including a bottle of Vitamin D and free AG1 Travel Packs, when you first subscribe! - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bort sits down with comedy legend Sebastian Maniscalco for one of the funniest, most honest conversations yet. They dive deep into Sebastian’s new stand-up special filmed at the United Center, what it takes to stay passionate about comedy, and how fatherhood changes everything. From crying at movies and parenting philosophies to the “arrogance of boring” and buying boats, this episode is packed with heart, humor, and classic Bert chaos. The two swap stories about old-school comedy days, meeting Jerry Seinfeld and Robert De Niro, and the truth about balancing fame, family, and fun. Tim will return next week...promise. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 311 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:30 - Stand-Up, Sicilians, & Sensitivity 00:14:16 - Dressed To Impress 00:22:27 - Small Talk & Small Comedians 00:34:28 - Playing The Hits 00:39:30 - DeNiro & Casinos 00:46:20 - Wine, Wants, & Life Experiences 00:56:35 - Fun Dad & Discipline Dad 01:03:05 - Pete Correale 01:07:32 - Does Sebastian Do This? 01:16:06 - Married To An Artist 01:19:08 - Edit This Out! + Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20/10/2025

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1 h 25 min
29/12/2025

Pimping Podcast Producers

SPONSORS: - New Year, New Me! Get Huel for FIFTEEN PERCENT OFF with this exclusive offer for New Customers only with code BEARS at https://huel.com/bears (Minimum $75 purchase). The Winter Bears Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another completely unhinged takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer nowhere to be found, the guys openly admit they once again didn’t prepare, and then immediately spiral into bread rankings, prostate exams, STD horror stories, religion, celebrity gossip, and the most deranged podcast business ideas ever pitched. From focaccia-based trauma, to almost doing business with Jeffrey Epstein’s brother, this episode goes fully off the rails and never checks the map again. Hit subscribe, brace yourself, and remember: this episode exists only because someone might need it someday. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 321 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:38 - Fat Boy Pastry Shop 00:07:42 - Just The Tip 00:11:53 - Sexually Transmitted Hilarity 00:25:13 - Family 00:31:15 - Third World Fun & Legendary Funbags 00:35:13 - Pimping Podcast Producers 00:43:42 - Doing Business With An Epstein 00:54:16 - Health Corner 01:01:52 - In Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29/12/2025

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1 h 6 min
02/02/2022

641 - Jim Gaffigan - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

YMH is making NFT's! And you can get yours RIGHT NOW with an account at https://Jambb.com! New shows have been added to Tom Segura's I'm Coming Everywhere tour! April 30th in San Francisco, CA, May 7th in North Charleston, SC, and June 18th in Coachella, CA! Get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. It's Wednesday mommies, you know what that means! Another episode of Your Mom's House! This week Jeans and Jeans start the show discussing their new fireplace, and the history of Sugar Ray (aka Sugar Gay), and what team they're gonna let each other bang for Valentine's Day. Shortly after, they're joined by Jim Gaffigan, American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Check out his new Netflix special - Jim Gaffigan: Comedy Monster! Jim and the Jeanses talk about balancing show business and family, trying to raise children to not be cool guys/girls, and most importantly, brown routines. Later, Jim gets introduced to some of Christina's newest TikTok curations, Tom's latest horrible or hilarious clips, and even gets a taste of the world of pup play! Strap in and enjoy this week's episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

02/02/2022

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2 h 6 min
22/12/2025

Chris & Stavvy Save Christmas!

SPONSORS: - If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Merry Winter Bears-mas! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano take over 2 Bears 1 Cave while Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are away, and immediately turn it into a holiday fever dream. The Winter Bears dive into chaotic Christmas traditions, Jewish Christmas supremacy, family trauma, weight-loss delusion, wild childhood memories, and the politics of gift-giving. Along the way, they spiral into ancestry revelations, Oldboy-level revenge fantasies, questionable parenting strategies, croissant mukbangs, and an all-time debate over the perfect Christmas Chinese food order. Grab a pastry and strap in — this might be the most unhinged holiday episode in 2 Bears history. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 320 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:57 - Revenge & Christmas Plans 00:06:57 - The Germans Always Make Good Stuff 00:16:33 - Perfect Holiday Dinner Conversations 00:23:38 - Are Greeks Whites? 00:30:40 - Let's Eat Some Tommy Bunz 00:33:35 - Christmas Gifts 00:44:09 - Greek Thieves, Bribing Kids, & Daddy Stavvy 00:52:17 - Favorite Chinese Food Order 00:59:00 - Living The NYC Dream 01:02:28 - Answering Some "Fan" Questions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22/12/2025

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1 h 10 min
15/12/2025

The Summer Bears Came For The Winter

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Head to https://DRINKAG1.com/BEARS you’ll get the welcome kit, a Morning Person hat, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, a AG1 Flavor Sampler and you’ll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free. - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. Christmas CAME early! The Summer Bears are now the *Winter Bears* and they have returned to phone it in and fulfill some contractually obligated laughs. Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias invade YMH Studios to talk awful breakfast decisions, Bert’s cruise from hell, fat-guy medicine science, Husky-induced life chaos, bombing on MTV, fighting GLP-1 drugs, Mike Tyson saving Big Pun at The Tunnel, and why both of them should never own pets, houses, or functioning digestive systems. It’s chaotic, barely prepared, medically concerning, and absolutely perfect. Enjoy! https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 319 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ https://www.stavvy.biz/ https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred Gambler. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:29 - Slutty Little Breakfast 00:07:14 - Podcast Polyamory 00:14:15 - Chrissy Housing Crisis 00:21:35 - Stavros Vs Fat Guy Medicine 00:31:48 - Fat Joe, Guy Code, & Graveyard Of Failed Shows 00:46:14 - Maybe The Worst Dog Ever 00:56:17 - Geopolitical Shenanigans & NYC Mayors 01:08:11 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15/12/2025

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1 h 10 min
22/06/2022

661 - Frankie Quinones - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

STOP EATING FATTY!! On this week’s episode of YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P realize that a portrait of YMH All-Star Robert Paul Champagne is missing from the Cool Guy Wall of Fame. This prompts them to revisit some of RPC’s classic clips. They also watch Michael Bisping touch a camera through the fence, revisit Garth’s very weird Ukraine video, and check out a girl that peels fruit with her teeth. The Main Mommies are then joined by “Cholo Fit” Creeper. They discuss how Cholo Fit started, LA cholos, vasectomies, how to find motivation, and the fact that cholos are actually romantic. Jean and Jean run Creeper through all of the classic cholo clips including the Gangbangers in Syria and some of Christina’s chola ’Toks. Frankie Quiñones is a stand-up comedian, actor and creator. He joins Todd and Christine to chat about Cheech and Chong, weed culture, the similarities between goths and cholas, and more. They then watch some of Christina’s TikTok curations, as well as a cool video of a lion trainer being mauled by his big cat. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22/06/2022

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2 h 9 min
29/12/2021

636 - Andrew Tate - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

SPONSORS: - Go to https://PeacockTV.com and binge the entire first season of MacGruber now! - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit and get $200 off your mattress! - Go to https://Brooklinen.com and use promo code house for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and get 15% off when you use the code MOM at checkout. - Download Best Fiends FREE today on the App Store or Google Play. - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/mom16 and use code mom16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts! Pull those jeans up... because it's the first episode of YMH out of the new set and everyone's looking handsome! We remind you to cherish your good looks when you're young and Tom needs to take an emergency dump! We see an amazing new hunting themed dad boner, watch a bear destroy a Lamborghini, and discuss the attempted rebrand for chomos. We then welcome our first guest in the new studio, Mr. Two Cups Of Coffee, Andrew "Cobra" Tate! He shares his spot on logic behind status and relationships. Are you a Toyota or a McLaren? We learn about how Tate makes his money, how he deals with haters, and what he thinks of Conald Peterson! Tate explains how a lot of people aren't ready for an influx of wealth before they're ready for the realities of the world and how that sets them up for unhappiness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29/12/2021

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2 h 39 min

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