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-6 dias

What Percent Gay Are You?

Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@UCdaQbXFKAuvKcZcwieo8A6A SPONSORS: Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! The DraftKings Sports app is now live in all 50 states! Head to https://dkng.co/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Welcome back to the cave! Hunter Biden says he's 48% gay, which raises the only question that matters: what percent are you? Bert and Tom build the math from zero, clothes, dicks, physiques, saunas, eye patches, a $5,000 face laser, and Bert climbs a lot higher than he expected to. Along the way: why Bert can't watch Sophie Cunningham highlights, the uncomfortable truth about loving Jason Williams, John Stockton's total lack of pizzazz, the hunt for a white DB in the NFL, Bert calling his dad mid-episode to check the family for slave owners (Tom's family does not come out clean), Bert's sister telling him to grow up about his sleep anxiety, Ila volunteering to fight Tom's ten-year-old in the Octagon, the 2:30am Dodger Stadium aftermath, a device that grades your poop, and Bert's full-throated defense of the Philadelphia Eagles' male cheerleader. Plus: this week's Mountain Dew summer sizzle submissions, including one that requires $2.6 million of CGI and one that just shuts Bert up. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 339 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get $50 in Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year, issued every 7 days via click to claim for 21 days. 1 non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at https://dkng.co/audio. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Hunter Biden Says He's 48% Gay 00:06:23 - Clip Farms, Sophie Cunningham, & Jason Williams 00:15:32 - John Stockton, White Boxers & Tim Dwight 00:29:23 - California's Slavery Bill & Bert Calls His Dad 00:34:41 - The Girlfriend, The Sister, & The Fight Challenge 00:42:34 - The Dodgers Game Aftermath & A Whoop For Your Toilet 00:46:11 - Male Cheerleaders, Female Urologists, & Checking Out Men 00:52:38 - Hiding From Lightning With A Grindr Meetup 00:59:05 - Comedian OnlyFans & Ohtani's $17 Million Translator 01:05:44 - Mountain Dew Summer Sizzle Submissions 01:11:34 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
-4 dias

Sliding Into Zac Efron's DMs w/ Duncan Trussell

SPONSORS: -Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh for 27% Off Sitewide — Exclusive for listeners of Your Mom's House. -For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH for your free online visit. -Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Mom's back! This week, Christina's holding down the Mommy Dome with your fav stepdad Duncan Trussell, and she opens with a status report: off the Domino's, back on vegetables and hydroponic lettuce, cat art again. Duncan informs her she's accidentally enlisted in the war against hedonism, and they go straight into the void, plant medicine vs. getting f****d up for fun, starting a spiritual practice as an act of aggression against yourself, and Duncan's three theories of what happens when you die, including the one that terrifies him most: blinking into a stranger's midlife as a cab driver in New York, forever. They also pull up the Heaven's Gate doc and rank it the most disappointing cult in history, and Duncan mounts a full defense of the stability of all men. Christine's got some wild curations including a man harvesting tree bark with his teeth, a Lake Tahoe hippie who trades meditation classes for a room, a guy who wants $100 and your car for his DMV test, and a woman who is furious that you think her rabbit is Winnie the Pooh. Then Christina admits she met Zac Efron in the Mothership green room, Duncan diagnoses the only viable strategy, and she composes and sends him a message live on the show. Plus: an AI girlfriend for a man with dementia, whacking material in Airplane!, the dead panther chameleon and the $400 robot duck replacing him, which animal Christina's face actually is, a Hungarian guy to screen her calls, why no man is meeting her kids until they're 18, and a waxing video that takes the mustache with it. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 877 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:40 - The War On Hedonism 00:06:04 - Self-Help & AI Girlfriends 00:17:54 - Opening Clip: Get Ahold Of Me, Please 00:22:48 - Three Theories Of What Happens When You Die 00:28:30 - Heaven's Gate: The Most Disappointing Cult 00:35:33 - Duncan Defends All Men & The Gym Guy Conspiracy 00:41:52 - Garden Hermits 00:44:32 - Horny For News Anchors 00:49:32 - Christina Messages Zac Efron 00:55:20 - Eating Dicks In London & Page Six 01:05:53 - Christina's Curations 01:09:33 - Cool Robot Duck 01:14:25 - More TikToks 01:23:33 - Wrap Up 01:24:49 - Closing Song - "Fartin" by Terry Nova Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
9/09

Cool Guys, Slick Guys, Neat Guys w/Caitlin Peluffo

See Caitlin on tour by going to https://www.caitlinpeluffo.com for tickets and check out her special Prosciutto Rose on YouTube SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code MOM spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH. https://bluechew.com Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Tom's holding down the Mommy Dome this week with comedian Caitlin Peluffo, fresh off the Funny AF finals and out on the road with a brand new hour. She explains why a comedy competition full of fifteen-year veterans hit harder than any late night set, why stand up is infinitely harder than making a movie, and how the whole thing got her out of debt. Then Tom finds out she's single and decides to fix it, spending the rest of the episode presenting her with some eligible bachelors pulled straight from the cool guy pile: a man doing bathroom talk about Pepsi, a suitor who will beat up anyone who interrupts a conversation with a laptop, a Vancouver man out of smokes, an apple pie enthusiast, a flat earther explaining how GPS works, and a devoted gentleman leaving Julia good morning voicemails. Along the way Caitlin admits she bit a wart off her own finger, Tom delivers a passionate PSA about going into credit card debt for teeth and getting your skin tags removed for the rest of us, and the two of them dissect M. Night Shyamalan's cringe YouTube launch on his sad little bench and how it's not that dissimilar from the all-time original, Garth Brooks joining Facebook. Plus: Horrible or Hilarious with an old man scooting into a pool, a lightning strike survivor apologizing on a stranger's porch, and an arm snapping in a pub. We also get a long overdue cool guy update on Tony Johns, who is making history from the Cayuga County jailhouse. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 876 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as $50 click-to-claims every seven days for 21 days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:15 - Caitlin Peluffo Killed At The Funny AF Finals 00:08:56 - Opening Clip: Why Do You Feel Better On A Friday? 00:14:46 - Go Into Debt For Teeth & A Skin Tag PSA 00:21:41 - Wild Girls: The Double Felony Hit And Run 00:27:24 - More Cool Suitors 00:31:43 - Bengals, 49ers & Josh Allen's Wholesome Smile 00:35:36 - M. Night Shyamalan Joins YouTube 00:43:47 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:55:53 - Horse On Desk & GPS Guy 00:59:39 - Oh I'll Make Ya Come 01:01:36 - Looking For Girls 01:02:35 - Unk Shine 01:04:52 - Good Morning Julia 01:07:18 - A Message From Tony Johns 01:10:24 - Caitlin Picks A Suitor 01:14:24 - Wrap Up 01:15:09 - Closing Song - "Good Morning Julia" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
7/09

Jelly Roll Called The President A Fat Pig

SPONSORS: Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com Visit https://ethos.com/BEARS Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/bears Sign up now and join over 14 million people already investing with Acorns. New customers get a $20 bonus investment just for signing up. Head to https://acorns.com/bears to claim your $20 bonus today. Limited time offer. Terms and conditions apply. See https://acorns.com/terms for details. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Welcome back to 2 Bears 1 Cave! This week Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer dive right in with Jelly Roll's headline-grabbing Kimmel monologue where he addressed the president as "from one fat pig to another." Bert then takes full credit for Jelly Roll's weight loss and the entire genesis of the Two Bears 5K, because technically he was in the room when that casually became a thing. They also have exciting news, a new 5K is coming in April and it's going to be bigger than ever. From there, Bert opens up about the panic attacks he's been having, severe, physical, and rooted in something he now understands: a complete lack of childhood bedtime structure. Tom grew up getting nightly Catholic prayers, a sign of the cross from mom, and the full rosary in the car for any trip over ten minutes. Bert grew up watching Letterman alone at nine years old at 3am while his dad slept off a ten mile run. The bears compare notes on childhood bedtime routines, how they each put their own kids down now, and what sleep anxiety looks like when it hits a grown adult, including Bert's most recent 36-hour panic attack that started when a friend told him he yawns too much and he forgot how to do it. He couldn't yawn for a day and a half. He finally yawned in couples therapy. That's where we are. They also get into Mel Gibson getting lightly canceled for mocking a sign language interpreter (on the scale of Mel Gibson incidents, this doesn't even register), a game of complimenting Salma Hayek on the one thing she's never heard in her 60 years on earth, Tom Hardy's new rap album, Jonah Hill's white belt jiu jitsu bravado and whether he'd actually beat Jason Bateman's ass, the Eddie Bravo black eye that made Bert walk out of a jiu jitsu class without ever taking his jeans off, and the Times Square Stabber whose fat padding made every taser completely ineffective and whose stabbing motion made this incident appear beyond ridiculous at first. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 338 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as Fifty dollar click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:18 - Jelly Roll Called Trump A Fat Pig on Kimmel 00:15:49 - Mel Gibson's Sign Language Incident & Cancel Culture 00:22:32 - Childhood Bedtimes & Panic Attacks 00:33:38 - Putting Kids to Bed & Bert's Sleep Anxiety Deep Dive 00:41:44 - Bert Forgot How to Yawn and Had a 36-Hour Panic Attack 00:51:25 - Salma Hayek At 60 00:55:47 - Tom Hardy's Album, Shapeshifters & Jonah Hill's White Belt Energy 01:05:56 - The Times Square Waddling Stabber Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24/08

Stavvy Called Us Out

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! Start your free trial at https://SHOPIFY.COM/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears for your free online visit. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. https://babbel.com/BEARS for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Bert officially entering the Guinness Book of World Records for The Machine, possibly the most performed signature story in comedy history, and immediately spiral into the comedy record arms race: Shane Gillis' 77,000-person show, Nate Bargatze's 2 million tickets, the Dane Cook vs. Dave Chappelle longest-set war, and Bert's plan to lock 75,000 paid "hostages" inside Raymond James Stadium and perform for ten straight hours. Then the Bears respond to Stavros Halkias calling out comics who fly private, and explain why he's absolutely right: nobody gets funnier on a private jet. From there, Bert declares Busboys, the new Theo Von and David Spade movie, the greatest piece of art he's ever seen, and Tom finally watches The Odyssey, only for Bert to officially turn on it over the Travis Scott cameo. Plus: Gaddafi's all-female Amazonian Guard, plane-crash hypotheticals, Chimp Empire is the best reality show ever made, Mick Jagger on fame, and why the Bears are grateful they got famous late. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 336 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:18 - Comedians Getting Guinness Records 00:07:24 - The Attendance Record Arms Race 00:18:09 - Stavvy Says Private Jets Don't Make You Funnier 00:24:25 - Lunch Pail Phonies & Staying Honest 00:35:39 - Busboys Is A Secret Masterpiece 00:41:55 - Tom Finally Saw The Odyssey 01:03:45 - Por Osos At Frenchies & MacDill 01:07:29 - The Sexiest Military & Plane Crash Hypotheticals 01:12:08 - Chimp Empire 01:15:26 - Leanne's Birthday & The Black Crowes 01:20:28 - Mick Jagger On Fame 01:24:18 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/08

Lesbo Jihadist w/ Yannis Pappas

SPONSORS: New customers can use code YMH to get 15% off at https://TakeUltra.com. Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/ymh50off and use code ymh50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://quince.com/mom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too This week, Tom is joined by the property owner himself, Yannis Pappas, whose special Property Owner is on YouTube now and new episodes of History Hyenas with Chrissy D out every week. They open on the underrated power of a compliment from a Philadelphia homeless man, the tier list of who compliments best, and why "you're taller than I thought" both feels great and is a little insulting. From there it's El Chapo's vitamins and the corpses he lined his driveway with, Vlad the Impaler's welcome mat, which comic could start a cult, the CIA-adjacent Manson doc that Tom actually buys, the man who survived Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and a lone plane crash survivor who walked out of the fireball scrolling his phone. Plus RFK Jr.'s gag reflex, the bear he dumped in Central Park after a long day of falcon hunting, and whether autism is just humans upgrading for the AI age. Things get real when the guys compare notes on their dads one a Korean War lieutenant who said you can't pin a medal on a dead guy, and the other a Vietnam lieutenant who figured out at 72 that the war might have affected him. Then Tom introduces Yannis to the great Pastor Manning of Harlem, and the man goes off on jobs, doo doo, Doctor King, Jay-Z, Fat Joe, and one lesbo jihadist wife, and mayor with a free bus ride plan. Also: Kanye's catchiest work, some horrible or hilarious clips, street dentistry in India, and a free commercial for ATX Hood Driver. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 874 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:00:24 - Yannis Pappas Gets Complimented By The Homeless00:09:31 - Which Comic Could Start A Cult?00:16:55 - The Man Who Survived Hiroshima AND Nagasaki00:21:44 - Opening Clip: Move With Urgency00:27:35 - RFK Jr. The Throat Goat00:30:48 - Our Dads Came Home From War Different00:38:34 - Yannis Meets Pastor Manning Of Harlem00:49:16 - Mamdani's Free Bus Rides00:53:52 - Kanye's Hitler Song Was Kind Of A Banger00:57:06 - Bad Thoughts01:03:00 - Horrible Or Hilarious01:15:03 - Terror Screams vs. Pain Screams01:16:38 - ATX Driver01:17:58 - Closing Song - "Moose Soup" by R Patttz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11/09

Neil deGrasse Tyson Vs. The Moon Landing

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger🎤 Follow Neil deGrasse Tyson: http://instagram.com/neildegrassetyson SPONSORS: Our listeners get up to 30% off their entire order at https://undrdog.com New DraftKings customers, sign up with code MYSTERY spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Neil deGrasse Tyson vs. the moon landing. Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week, Expert to Expert convenes and the astrophysicist and StarTalk host calls in to answer the only questions that matter: what exactly is the universe expanding into, would aliens find us hopelessly ugly, and how big does your ego have to be to think an alien crossed the galaxy just to probe you. Duncan pitches him Wet Goddess, the novel about a man who dated a dolphin, and Neil writes the title down. The investigation runs through his new book Lost In Space: 5,000 Facts for Navigating the Universe, neutrinos arriving at IceCube from the wrong direction, whether there is any real difference between top secret science and published science, Barbenheimer, the sea rising to the Statue of Liberty's left elbow, the James Webb Space Telescope finding galaxies that formed too early, rods from God, micronovas and lost civilizations, and the elephant nobody would believe in either.Then it turns adversarial. Kurt tells Neil deGrasse Tyson that "NASA doesn't lie" is a false premise, Duncan reads him the part about the Apollo 11 telemetry tapes being erased and reused, and Neil explains why he does not argue with conspiracy theorists and asks the boys to stay in their lane. He signs off. The Mystery Boys award him the Official Mystery Voice Science Award anyway, in absentia, and then the episode leaves the atmosphere: Devon Galore's mirror song, Kurt Debus and the rocket men who built the American space program, a Florida man and his flock camera, pre-trigger as a new medical condition, how to summon a succubus, the diaries of Marvin Minsky and Erwin Schrödinger, and a full descent into PSL scores, looksmaxxing, bone smashing, blackpill mathematics and Low Tier Normie. Also: UAP hearings and why nobody will just bring out the alien, Take Me to Your Leader as toilet reading, whether Neil deGrasse Tyson would take acid, why you can only kiss yourself on the lips, the interview gets graded by the two people who conducted it, and Buster ruins the outro. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys File_017 http://instagram.com/duncantrussellhttp://instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedyhttp://instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcasthttp://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as Fifty dollar click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:22 - Welcome Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson (not Mike) 00:01:09 - What is the universe expanding into? 00:02:59 - Lost in Space + Take Me To Your Leader 00:09:45 - The abduction/probing theory 00:11:54 - Science communicators vs. witch burners 00:19:52 - Neutrinos, IceCube and the wrong direction 00:23:12 - Top secret vs. published science 00:26:46 - Barbenheimer 00:27:27 - NASA doesn't lie' — Kurt vs. Neil 00:32:07 - The missing moon landing footage 00:34:35 - Why Neil won't argue with conspiracy theorists 00:39:56 - Micronovas, solar dust and lost civilizations 00:42:46 - James Webb's too-early galaxies 00:45:52 - Rods from God 00:48:35 - Are earthquakes speeding up? 00:50:13 - How does the world not end in five years?' 00:52:09 - The surveillance state 01:02:41 - Neil signs off 01:03:19 - The award we forgot to give him 01:07:42 - Kurt Debus, the first head of NASA 01:08:42 - The Florida flock camera guy 01:11:01 - Pre-trigger — a new condition 01:21:05 - Marvin Minsky and Schrödinger's diaries 01:24:03 - PSL scores and looksmaxxing 01:30:29 - Blackpill, bone smashing and the Clavicular doc 01:34:34 - Personality still counts 01:35:07 - Low Tier Normie 01:39:19 - We converted Neil deGrasse Tyson' 01:40:58 - Outro / Buster 01:43:34 - Sign-off + credits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
31/08

Breaking Down The Barstool Brawl

SPONSORS: https://dkng.co/bears New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days, includes all markets. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, go to https://netsuite.ai/bears. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://ShipStation.com, with code cave. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the cave and surprise surprise, Bert opens with a confession: he wishes he'd never quit drinking. What follows is a full inventory of the modern male brain, the online pastor Tom watches every morning to get inspired, why 17-year-olds have no business being nostalgic for anything, the exact moment each of them gave up on playing pro sports, and why comedians never seem to get that same reality check. The guys break down Bert's Whoop addiction and the blood clot that started it, get talked into a completely fictional performance-enhancing stack for a 5K, fall in love with bull riding legend JB Mauney, pitch the worst sponsorship idea in podcast history, and watch a food delivery driver take on the entire Barstool office. Then it's cringe cancellation, sobriety influencers, 4:23 a.m. morning routine guys, and a long, very funny argument about which movie stars are actually men and which ones just look at themselves in the mirror. Plus Bert's new fragrance obsession, the colognes of Napoleon, Elvis and JFK, Sebastian Maniscalco's four seasonal robes, Joe Rogan's splits, Billy Bob Thornton at the CMAs, and a big announcement about the future of the show. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 337 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for twenty-one days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:17 - The Jewish Joke Bert Can't Tell On Stage 00:04:26 - Pastor Manning 00:09:09 - Period Sex Confessions & Giving Up On Sports 00:21:50 - Nobody Quits Comedy Or Drinking 00:31:31 - Whoop Obsession, The Blood Clot, & Tren 00:37:09 - JB Mauney & The PBR 00:44:27 - Motorcycles & The 12 O'clock Boys Sponsorship 00:46:56 - The Barstool Helmet Fight 00:52:58 - Fighting Women 00:56:13 - Cringe Cancellation 01:01:35 - Tom's Pep Talk & Bert's Therapy 01:05:05 - Sobriety Influencers & Morning Routine Guys 01:09:04 - Cringey Actors vs. Real Men 01:19:33 - Bert's Fragrance Obsession 01:30:00 - Drakkar Noir Nostalgia 01:36:49 - Sebastian Maniscalco Is A Study 01:40:04 - Bert Meets Billy Bob At The CMAs 01:44:26 - 2 Bears Is Going Back To Weekly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
5/08

People Changes w/ Duncan Trussell

I want to talk about divorce. Christina P holds down the Mommy Dome with Duncan Trussell for the heaviest episode in show history, the divorce episode. Christina addresses it head-on: yes, she and Tom are divorcing after 20 years, no, you don't need to pick teams, and yes, Mommy is ripping darts, drinking wine, and surviving on one Domino's thin crust a day. From there she and Duncan spiral through cancer, TMZ breaking the story while she was in a London pub with Ari Shaffir, and Duncan's own jaw-dropping family divorce story involving a priest and a jammed shotgun. Then they unpack the International Dick Alert and open some DMs: the guy sending "hey" with one extra Y each time, a Puerto Rican gentleman with a generous offer, the PetSmart employee confusing ferrets and flashlights, aquarium romantic Yung Tang Tang, a Brit promising to beat her vaginal fluid into firm egg whites, and a poly couple charging a $250,000 application fee. A suitor hotline is also officially in the works. They also hit Burning Man hygiene, spray tan confessions, and a trip down memory lane through an 80s divorce boom including latchkey summers, dads' apartment complexes, frozen hot dogs, dancing with sailors at the Beef and Barrel, and the porn tapes that raised them. Too late for you, too late for the lamb. Your Mom’s House Ep. 871 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Emotional Intro00:04:55 - Opening Clip: Bobby Lee Swoops In00:13:52 - The TMZ International Dick Alert00:19:31 - The Shadow Of Divorce Trauma00:30:05 - Duncan's Parents, the Priest & the Shotgun00:42:38 - What's Real: Grief, Friends & Love00:59:07 - Single Gal Questions, Horny Hotline, & Reading DM's01:15:48 - Pet Smart Ferret Guy & More Suitors01:39:06 - Christina's Curations02:03:10 - Self Pleasure In Spray Tan Booth02:07:11 - Old School Porn At Dad's Place02:17:57 - Latchkey Kids02:27:37 - Trauma Bonding02:33:51 - Final Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2/09

The Sleaze Bag Starter Kit w/ Ian Fidance

SPONSORS: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH. https://bluechew.com Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://Quince.com/MOM. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/ymh Tom is off this week, so Christina is joined by the one and only Ian Fidance, host of Ian Do on YouTube, on the road every week for the rest of the year, tickets at https://IanFidance.com. Ian arrives with flowers and a full divorce care package to usher Christina into the dating world, which leads to a conversation about the sleazebag starter kit he should be selling on tour, the darts she's allowed to rip now, and the gout-into-kidney-stones saga that put Ian on a Montreal hotel floor an hour before a taping. Then it's clip time: the horny cowboy is back with tips nobody asked for, a long-overdue update on Tony Johns and his homeless era, the whistling man who has genuinely figured out life, and a piss gadget that raises real questions. Ian pitches the only logical next step, move every cool guy into one house, with Christina as the RA handing out chores and taking away privileges. Also: a spy explains how important mouth stuff is in espionage, Christina finds out what dating requires in 2026 versus 2005, the suitor hotline delivers three voicemails and one very promising mechanic named Chris, Ian gets choke slammed at AEW, and a QVC host says something beautiful without realizing it. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 875 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:02:01 - The Divorce Care Package00:04:41 - Ian's Gout Turned Into Kidney Stones00:07:54 - Opening Clip: The Horny Cowboy Rides Again00:15:08 - Tony Johns Update00:21:37 - Ralph The Whistler Update00:26:25 - Clip: Pissing Gadget00:27:01 - The YMH Cool Guy House00:30:51 - Clip: Russian Spy Tips00:36:30 - The Horny Hotline00:43:32 - Ian Do00:44:31 - TikToks00:49:35 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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