Dateable()AF

Shody Media
Shody Media
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The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell. Please check out our website https://www.dateableaf.com/ Dateable AF is a relationship podcast that goes deeper than dating advice. Hosted by a therapist and a researcher, the show breaks down the emotional patterns behind connection, conflict, identity, and growth. We skip platitudes and focus on what actually helps people relate more honestly, securely, and sustainably. Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of all kinds of relationships—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference. Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe Theme Song: Cade Kyle A huge thanks to our sponsors and trailblazers at Shody Media LLC. Disclaimer: Podcasts featured on Shody Media are independently owned and operated by their respective hosts. All views, opinions, and statements expressed are solely those of the individual creators and guest do not reflect the views of Shody Media. Shody Media assumes no responsibility or liability for podcast content.

  1. -2 dias

    S4E3: Love, With a Side of Pushback

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Sometimes love looks like kindness, comfort, and reassurance. And sometimes it looks like being a pain in the ass. What happens when someone you love needs help, but the people in charge aren't listening? Do you trust the experts, accept the answer, and move on? Or do you speak up, ask another question, and risk being that person? In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel explore what it means to advocate for the people we love, especially when they're too sick, scared, overwhelmed, or vulnerable to advocate for themselves. Drawing from their own medical experiences, they talk about the power of having someone in your corner who's willing to challenge authority, ask uncomfortable questions, and refuse to accept answers that don't make sense. But advocacy isn't just about hospitals. It happens in schools, workplaces, families, friendships, and everyday relationships. And it doesn't always require confrontation. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, "Hang on. She wasn't finished." We're getting into: Why speaking up for someone can feel so uncomfortableHow authority and power influence our willingness to question thingsThe difference between advocating and being aggressiveWhy persistence and curiosity can be more effective than confrontationHow to speak up without taking overWhy we sometimes fight harder for the people we love than for ourselvesWhen being liked simply isn't the assignmentThe big question: When someone you love can't find their voice, are you willing to use yours, even if it makes somebody uncomfortable? Because sometimes being good to your people means being willing to push back. 🎧 Dateable AF is a podcast about relationships, decoded one hot mess at a time. Connect with us: Instagram: @dateableaf Website: https://www.dateableaf.com Email: info@dateableaf.com Say the thing. Ask the question. Have the conversation. And go be good to your people. #DateableAF #Relationships #Advocacy #Communication #RelationshipAdvice #SpeakingUp #HealthyRelationships #SelfAdvocacy HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S4E3: Love, With a Side of Pushback

  2. 29/10

    S4E2: I Said I’m Fine. Why Didn’t You Know I Wasn’t?

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Ever told someone you're fine when you absolutely weren't, then gotten irritated when they believed you? We've all done it. We insist we've got everything handled, refuse to ask for help, and then wonder why the people who love us aren't stepping in. In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel explore why asking for help can feel so uncomfortable, especially for people who pride themselves on being independent and capable. Drawing on their experiences with unexpected medical crises, they talk about what happens when you suddenly need other people, why vulnerability can feel threatening, and how our unspoken expectations can create resentment in relationships. We're getting into: Why asking for help can feel like admitting failureThe difference between independence and emotional distanceWhy we secretly expect people to read our mindsThe unspoken relationship contracts nobody agreed toWhen "I shouldn't have to ask" is a legitimate complaintHow to ask for what you need without feeling needy or demandingWhy letting people show up for you is part of intimacyThe big question: What are you expecting someone you love to know that you haven't actually told them? Because sometimes the problem isn't that people don't care. It's that we've gotten so good at saying "I'm fine" that they believe us. 🎧 Dateable AF is a podcast about relationships, decoded one hot mess at a time. Connect with us: Instagram: @dateableaf Website: https://www.dateableaf.com Email: info@dateableaf.com Go be good to your people. #DateableAF #Relationships #Communication #EmotionalIntimacy #AskingForHelp #RelationshipAdvice #Vulnerability #HealthyRelationships HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S4E2: I Said I’m Fine. Why Didn’t You Know I Wasn’t?

  3. 22/10

    S4E1: When Shit Gets Real, Who Actually Shows Up?

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, "When Shit Gets Real. Who Actually Shows Up?" There’s nothing quite like a crisis to give you a very clear view of your relationships. Sarah and Rachel now have something oddly specific in common: they’ve both had medical emergencies that ended in emergency surgery and forced two very independent people to suddenly depend on everyone around them. And they learned some things. In the Season 4 premiere of Dateable AF, we’re talking about what it actually means to show up for someone when life gets hard. Sometimes it’s sitting beside them. Sometimes it’s bringing dinner, walking the dog, picking up a prescription, advocating when they can’t advocate for themselves, or sending a text that says, Thinking about you. No need to respond. And sometimes the people who show up aren’t the people you expected. But before you start mentally auditing everyone who has ever disappointed you, there’s another question worth asking: How do you show up when someone else’s life gets inconvenient for you? We talk about why “Let me know if you need anything” puts more work on the person who is already overwhelmed, why different relationships can hold different things, and why a text three weeks after the crisis may mean more than twelve texts on Day 1. Because not every relationship has to be everything. But when things get hard, you learn a lot about what your relationships can hold. Here’s the question we want you to sit with this week: When things get hard, who are your people...and whose person are you? Human relationships. We have questions. Go be good to your people. Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF Dateable AF is brought to you by Shody Media Executive Producer Jordan L Cannon

    S4E1: When Shit Gets Real, Who Actually Shows Up?

  4. 16/04

    S3E14: “Someday You’ll Be Amazing”: The Trap of Falling in Love With Someone’s Potential

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?” In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle. This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no matter how clearly you speak. We start by unpacking the myth that if you could just say it the right way, things would finally improve. Modern relationship culture often tells us to keep trying. Say it nicer. Say it calmer. Say it again. When nothing shifts, people start blaming themselves for “not explaining well enough.” The truth is that clarity does not create change when someone is unwilling or unable to change. Next, we talk about the kinds of issues that words alone cannot fix. You cannot talk someone into sobriety. You cannot explain your way out of abuse. Love does not replace treatment for untreated mental illness. Understanding does not create emotional capacity where there is none. And repeated boundary violations are rarely misunderstandings. If someone truly understood and cared, their behavior would already look different. We then explore why people keep trying anyway. Hope, fear of loss, sunk cost, trauma bonding, and the desire to believe the best about someone all play a role. For many people, continuing to explain feels safer than facing the possibility that the relationship may not change. One of the central ideas in this episode is the difference between being heard and being safe. Someone can listen, nod, agree, apologize, and still keep doing the same thing. Understanding without change is not intimacy. It is stagnation. Real safety in relationships is built through consistent behavior, not good conversations. From there, we shift into what actually helps. Instead of more emotional labor and more heart-to-hearts, most people need clearer boundaries, observable behavior, realistic timelines, meaningful consequences, and stronger support for themselves. Boundaries are how you stop negotiating with reality. We close by reminding listeners that you can communicate perfectly and still be in a bad situation. If something keeps happening, it is not a misunderstanding. Love does not require endurance. And you do not have to stay just because someone understands you. Reflection After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: Where are you still trying to explain something that has already been made clear, and what are you afraid might happen if you stopped trying to convince them? Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S3E14: “Someday You’ll Be Amazing”: The Trap of Falling in Love With Someone’s Potential

  5. 9/04

    S3E13: “Insight Isn’t Self-Attack”: When Self-Awareness Turns Into Self-Criticism

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Self-awareness is supposed to help you grow. But for a lot of thoughtful, high-functioning people, it quietly turns into something else… constant self-criticism. If you’ve ever replayed conversations, analyzed your tone, or found yourself thinking “What’s wrong with me?” instead of “That’s interesting about me,” you’re not alone. In this episode of the Dateable AF Podcast, we unpack the difference between healthy self-awareness and the kind of insight that turns into self-attack. We talk about why people who are the most reflective are often the hardest on themselves, how this pattern develops, and the subtle ways it starts to impact confidence and connection in relationships. We also explore what real self-awareness is supposed to feel like, and how shifting from judgment to curiosity can make growth feel lighter, not heavier. After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: When we reflect on our behavior in relationships, do we tend to approach it with curiosity or with criticism? We’d love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. And if this episode resonated, please share the podcast with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember: be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S3E13: “Insight Isn’t Self-Attack”: When Self-Awareness Turns Into Self-Criticism

  6. 2/04

    S3E12: “Awkward Won’t Kill You” Learning to Tolerate Discomfort

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?” In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle. This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no matter how clearly you speak. We start by unpacking the myth that if you could just say it the right way, things would finally improve. Modern relationship culture often tells us to keep trying. Say it nicer. Say it calmer. Say it again. When nothing shifts, people start blaming themselves for “not explaining well enough.” The truth is that clarity does not create change when someone is unwilling or unable to change. Next, we talk about the kinds of issues that words alone cannot fix. You cannot talk someone into sobriety. You cannot explain your way out of abuse. Love does not replace treatment for untreated mental illness. Understanding does not create emotional capacity where there is none. And repeated boundary violations are rarely misunderstandings. If someone truly understood and cared, their behavior would already look different. We then explore why people keep trying anyway. Hope, fear of loss, sunk cost, trauma bonding, and the desire to believe the best about someone all play a role. For many people, continuing to explain feels safer than facing the possibility that the relationship may not change. One of the central ideas in this episode is the difference between being heard and being safe. Someone can listen, nod, agree, apologize, and still keep doing the same thing. Understanding without change is not intimacy. It is stagnation. Real safety in relationships is built through consistent behavior, not good conversations. From there, we shift into what actually helps. Instead of more emotional labor and more heart-to-hearts, most people need clearer boundaries, observable behavior, realistic timelines, meaningful consequences, and stronger support for themselves. Boundaries are how you stop negotiating with reality. We close by reminding listeners that you can communicate perfectly and still be in a bad situation. If something keeps happening, it is not a misunderstanding. Love does not require endurance. And you do not have to stay just because someone understands you. Reflection After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: Where are you still trying to explain something that has already been made clear, and what are you afraid might happen if you stopped trying to convince them? Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S3E12: “Awkward Won’t Kill You” Learning to Tolerate Discomfort

  7. 26/03

    S3E11: “Great Chat… About You”: When People Don’t Ask Questions

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?” In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle. This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no matter how clearly you speak. We start by unpacking the myth that if you could just say it the right way, things would finally improve. Modern relationship culture often tells us to keep trying. Say it nicer. Say it calmer. Say it again. When nothing shifts, people start blaming themselves for “not explaining well enough.” The truth is that clarity does not create change when someone is unwilling or unable to change. Next, we talk about the kinds of issues that words alone cannot fix. You cannot talk someone into sobriety. You cannot explain your way out of abuse. Love does not replace treatment for untreated mental illness. Understanding does not create emotional capacity where there is none. And repeated boundary violations are rarely misunderstandings. If someone truly understood and cared, their behavior would already look different. We then explore why people keep trying anyway. Hope, fear of loss, sunk cost, trauma bonding, and the desire to believe the best about someone all play a role. For many people, continuing to explain feels safer than facing the possibility that the relationship may not change. One of the central ideas in this episode is the difference between being heard and being safe. Someone can listen, nod, agree, apologize, and still keep doing the same thing. Understanding without change is not intimacy. It is stagnation. Real safety in relationships is built through consistent behavior, not good conversations. From there, we shift into what actually helps. Instead of more emotional labor and more heart-to-hearts, most people need clearer boundaries, observable behavior, realistic timelines, meaningful consequences, and stronger support for themselves. Boundaries are how you stop negotiating with reality. We close by reminding listeners that you can communicate perfectly and still be in a bad situation. If something keeps happening, it is not a misunderstanding. Love does not require endurance. And you do not have to stay just because someone understands you. Reflection After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: Where are you still trying to explain something that has already been made clear, and what are you afraid might happen if you stopped trying to convince them? Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S3E11: “Great Chat… About You”: When People Don’t Ask Questions

  8. 19/03

    S3E10: Trust Comes Back When Behavior Changes

    Got something to say to this podcast? Send a voicemail, and you might hear yourself on the next episode! Dateable AF Show Notes: Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?” In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle. This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no matter how clearly you speak. We start by unpacking the myth that if you could just say it the right way, things would finally improve. Modern relationship culture often tells us to keep trying. Say it nicer. Say it calmer. Say it again. When nothing shifts, people start blaming themselves for “not explaining well enough.” The truth is that clarity does not create change when someone is unwilling or unable to change. Next, we talk about the kinds of issues that words alone cannot fix. You cannot talk someone into sobriety. You cannot explain your way out of abuse. Love does not replace treatment for untreated mental illness. Understanding does not create emotional capacity where there is none. And repeated boundary violations are rarely misunderstandings. If someone truly understood and cared, their behavior would already look different. We then explore why people keep trying anyway. Hope, fear of loss, sunk cost, trauma bonding, and the desire to believe the best about someone all play a role. For many people, continuing to explain feels safer than facing the possibility that the relationship may not change. One of the central ideas in this episode is the difference between being heard and being safe. Someone can listen, nod, agree, apologize, and still keep doing the same thing. Understanding without change is not intimacy. It is stagnation. Real safety in relationships is built through consistent behavior, not good conversations. From there, we shift into what actually helps. Instead of more emotional labor and more heart-to-hearts, most people need clearer boundaries, observable behavior, realistic timelines, meaningful consequences, and stronger support for themselves. Boundaries are how you stop negotiating with reality. We close by reminding listeners that you can communicate perfectly and still be in a bad situation. If something keeps happening, it is not a misunderstanding. Love does not require endurance. And you do not have to stay just because someone understands you. Reflection After listening, talk with your partner or a close friend about this: Where are you still trying to explain something that has already been made clear, and what are you afraid might happen if you stopped trying to convince them? Connect With Us We would love to hear your thoughts. You can email us at info@dateableaf.com or connect with us on Instagram @dateableaf. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who might need it. Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember, be bold, be kind, and for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF

    S3E10: Trust Comes Back When Behavior Changes
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The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell. Please check out our website https://www.dateableaf.com/ Dateable AF is a relationship podcast that goes deeper than dating advice. Hosted by a therapist and a researcher, the show breaks down the emotional patterns behind connection, conflict, identity, and growth. We skip platitudes and focus on what actually helps people relate more honestly, securely, and sustainably. Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of all kinds of relationships—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference. Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey Grabe Theme Song: Cade Kyle A huge thanks to our sponsors and trailblazers at Shody Media LLC. Disclaimer: Podcasts featured on Shody Media are independently owned and operated by their respective hosts. All views, opinions, and statements expressed are solely those of the individual creators and guest do not reflect the views of Shody Media. Shody Media assumes no responsibility or liability for podcast content.

Informação

  • Canal
    Shody Media
  • Autoria
    Rachel Howell & Dr. Sarah Kyle
  • Anos em atividade
    2025 - 2026
  • Episódios
    93
  • Classificação
    Explícito
  • Copyright
    © Shody Media LLC
  • Site do programa
    Dateable()AF
  • Fornecedor

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