Seeing Other People

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Dating advice, real stories, and honest conversations about modern relationships. Seeing Other People with Ilana Dunn covers everything from first dates and situationships to long-term love, with expert guests, anonymous confessions, and unfiltered takes three times a week. Whether you're swiping, healing, or somewhere in between...this is your show.

-13 H

Stop People Pleasing, Start Feeling Secure

Trevor Hanson is back for part two, and this episode goes even deeper into people pleasing, anxious attachment, and what it really means to feel secure in yourself. We talk about why even secure people can feel anxious in certain relationships, how to stop abandoning yourself to keep others happy, setting boundaries without guilt, and how identifying your values can completely change the way you date and heal. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

49 min
-1 DIA

Bachelor Parties vs. Bachelorette Parties: We Are Not the Same

Jake's heading to Fort Lauderdale for a bachelor party with zero itinerary and a plan that's basically "watch the Knicks, find a Chili's." We kick things off comparing how differently men and women plan these trips, and it's not even close. We tackle a listener question about bachelorette party costs spiraling out of control and how to set a boundary without being labeled unsupportive. Then, A listener wrote back about last week's question on dating while your mom is dying — she kept dating, met someone who'd lost his own parent, and they're now getting engaged so her mom can be there. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

43 min
-5 DIAS

Meeting Someone When You Least Expect It

Juliette Haas is about to leave a life that works — great friends, a solid routine, and NYC exactly as she always imagined it — to move to London anyway. In this episode, we get into what it really means to choose discomfort on purpose, from solo traveling for the first time to realizing she didn’t want to be the person who only talks about doing things. We talk about growing up online, unlearning toxic wellness habits, navigating post-grad identity shifts, and how dating in your 20s can shape (and raise) your standards. Plus: the chaotic NYC dating stories, the relationship she didn’t expect right before leaving, and why this move isn’t about running away, but about choosing more. Follow Juliette on IG @thenutritiousnorm and TT @thenutritiousnorm ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 h 2 min
28/04

Why You’re Still Single (It’s Not Bad Luck)

Amy Chan returns to Seeing Other People five years after her first appearance to talk about her new book UNSINGLE and what it actually takes to create a healthy, lasting relationship. We talk about why so many of us keep repeating the same dating patterns, how we're often optimizing for the wrong things, and why chemistry alone isn't enough to build something long-term. Amy shares her “dating funnel” framework to help identify where you're getting stuck, plus the mindset shifts that can help you break out of dating burnout. We also dive into limerence, dating outside your type, and the four pillars of healthy relationships — chemistry, compatibility, timing, and mutuality. Amy explains why the “perfect person at the wrong time is the wrong person,” how to challenge limiting beliefs about love, and the experiment she created that has helped people finally find lasting relationships. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

49 min
27/04

Should You Keep Dating While Your Mom Is Dying?

We're back with Ilana's LA trip recap, a lot to be grateful for, and two listener questions that made us cry. Ilana returns with two unhinged stories — a barista who said something unhinged to every customer and a saleswoman who congratulated someone on a pregnancy that was very much not happening. We answer a question from a 28-year-old in NYC who's trying not to be bitter about being single, and one that wrecked us both about whether to keep dating while your mom is sick. We close with the follow-up we've been waiting for: the girl who went on a Hinge date with her situationship's friend's roommate wrote back — and they're officially official. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

46 min
23/04

Dating As A Single Dad: Finding Love After Raising His Kids

Ryan is a 43-year-old single dad living in a small coastal town in Mississippi, navigating dating with a uniquely small dating pool — and a clear idea of what he wants. After two divorces, gaining full custody of his kids, and years focused on raising them, he’s now approaching life as an empty nester and ready to find a partner. In this Unfiltered episode, Ryan shares what it’s like dating long-distance, hiring a matchmaker, why he’s intentional about keeping doors open, and the moment he ended a relationship after his partner crossed a boundary with his kids. He opens up about resilience, starting over, and balancing hope with acceptance when dating later in life. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

42 min
21/04

Dating Intentionally: From 150 Dates to Marriage

After going on 150 dates with 60+ people in 10 months, Talia Koren didn’t expect to meet her husband when she did, especially because he wasn’t her type, didn’t give instant sparks, and entered her life while she was still dating other people. In this episode, Talia shares how dating intentionally and treating dating like a research experiment helped her move on from a six-year relationship, stop chasing chemistry, and recognize what actually matters in a long-term partner. From the first message on Hinge, to the third-date click, to defining the relationship and moving in together, this conversation breaks down what healthy dating actually looks like in real life, not just in theory. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

49 min
20/04

"He Found Out I Went on Another Date… Now He’s Acting Weird"

Jake and I catch up on the abandoned 20-week challenge, our first jobs out of college, and a post-wedding brunch we hosted that actually came together really well. Then we tackle a listener question from someone who accidentally went on a Hinge date with her casual boyfriend's friend's roommate (New York City is a very small village), and help her figure out how to have the exclusivity conversation. We wrap with a round of your dating wins — from five-hour first dates to finally deleting the apps. Don't forget to follow along on Instagram to submit your dating wins! ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

38 min

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EXCERTO

This is Seeing Other People

Seeing Other People and host Ilana Dunn are here to help you feel less alone in your dating struggles. Real people, real stories, real life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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1 min

Dating advice, real stories, and honest conversations about modern relationships. Seeing Other People with Ilana Dunn covers everything from first dates and situationships to long-term love, with expert guests, anonymous confessions, and unfiltered takes three times a week. Whether you're swiping, healing, or somewhere in between...this is your show.