A Normal Family: modern family life, trauma & healing

Anna Wallace
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Wondering why your family feels “not so normal”, or why the same patterns keep repeating in your relationships? This podcast on family healing and modern relationships helps you understand yourself, your family and how it shaped you, so you can build healthier relationships and happier lives. Through intimate interviews and personal storytelling, Anna Wallace explores modern family life – parenting and living childfree, divorce and blended families, loss, estrangement and reconciliation, and what it means to “break the cycle” of family trauma without breaking yourself.

Episodios

  1. Advice from a family systems therapist and youngest of 13

    5 FEB

    Advice from a family systems therapist and youngest of 13

    In this episode of A Normal Family, family therapist Anita Sommers paints a picture of what life was like growing up in a large, chaotic Catholic household and what it taught her about family patterns. Drawing on her work as a family systems therapist we also talk about how intergenerational trauma created a self‑sacrificing mother and a larger‑than‑life, sometimes narcissistic father, anxious attachment and how our childhood still shapers our relationships today. We talk about:- What it was really like to be the youngest of 13 – the chaos, the security, and why Anita does not recommend having thirteen children- How big families are made up of smaller units. - How intergenerational trauma, loss and Catholic duty shaped her parents, and how those family stories trickle down through generations- Family scripts and narratives: how the stories we tell ourselves shape our identity, and how to rewrite them- How to rewire your nervous system and self-soothe and how anxious attachment, people-pleasing, and conflict-avoidance are often old survival strategies- Practical tools: why we have to regulate to relate, EMDR, self-soothing, and becoming "the one you were waiting for" instead of hoping a partner will fix it- Birth order psychology: why being the eldest, middle, and youngest children shapes us differently If you're navigating family patterns and cycles, generational trauma, toxic family dynamics, or feeling cast in a role you didn't choose – the strong one, the easy one, the fixer – this conversation is for you.Key moments 01:45 Introduction to Anita: youngest of 13 children10:43 Empathy and understanding in family relationships13:31 What is systemic family therapy?16:45 Understanding family scripts and narratives18:34 Rewiring your nervous system28:24 The importance of repair in relationships31:01 Sibling birth order and personality types34:15 Traits of only childrenBuy ‘You are the one you have been waiting for’ - Book by Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems here: https://shorturl.at/r3jXWKeywords: family therapist advice, generational trauma, family patterns, anxious attachment, birth order psychology, toxic family dynamics, nervous system healing, self-soothing, intergenerational trauma, family scripts

    38 min
  2. No contact, no children, still a family: Emma's story

    22 ENE

    No contact, no children, still a family: Emma's story

    Emma went no‑contact with her mum, was made homeless at 17 and still chose to live child‑free in a world that keeps telling women they’ll “change their mind”. In this episode of A Normal Family, Emma shares the long road to choosing estrangement from her mother, navigating addiction and self‑harm in her family, and why she believes having children should be a deeply selfless decision rather than an expectation.  She also talks about building an honorary family from friends and their parents, and how that has shaped her into a fiercely independent adult with her own definition of what family can be.​ Please take care of yourself before listening if you have been affected by any of the issues raised and see the comment for resources. Key moments 05:58 The decision to go no‑contact  15:24 Why I chose a child‑free life 20:13 Building an honorary / chosen family 24:37 Finding silver linings

    26 min

  3. 8 ENE

    Chosen family, queer love and the state: Richard Angell on who really counts as ‘family’. Ep.7.

    What if family isn’t just the people you share DNA or paperwork with, but the people who show up for you – especially when you mess up? In this episode of A Normal Family, Anna talks to Richard Angell, Chief Executive of Terrence Higgins Trust, the UK charity named after one of the first people in the UK to die from an AIDS‑related illness. Together they explore chosen family, queer love, HIV stigma – and how the state still shapes who “counts” as family. They discuss: - What chosen family really means in LGBTQ+ communities - The story of Terry Higgins, his partner Rupert and the birth of the Terrence Higgins Trust - How the state once erased queer partners – and where that still happens today - The power and limits of chosen family, including Richard’s “four wheels” metaphor for sharing the weight of care - What all of this means for anyone trying to build healthier, more honest relationships *Timestamps* 01:28 Introduction and Richard’s early life 04:27 What Chosen family really means 08:27 Biological vs chosen family: Who shows up when it’s hard? 12:08 Forgiveness, repair and compassion in families 16:12 Coming out, acceptance and curious grandparents 18:17 Terry Higgins’ Story: Heaven nightclub, Parliament and forbidden love 19:19 How AIDS changed the conversation from gay sex to gay love 20:10 Terry Higgins remembered: Rupert, friends and the birth of THT 23:51 When the State blocks families: Egg and sperm donation 26:02 Terry’s legacy: Chosen family, community and activism 30:43 Family is chaos, love and showing up This podcast is for thoughtful, self‑reflective people who want better relationships – with partners, kids, parents, friends, or the family they’re still building. You don’t have to be queer or part of a perfect family; you just have to be curious about how family and relationships shape us. If this conversation resonates, please: - *Share it* with a friend, partner or member of your chosen family - *Subscribe* for more episodes on modern families and relationships - *Comment* with your reflections – or your own experience of chosen family If you have a story about family, chosen or otherwise, and might like to share it on A Normal Family, we'd love to hear from you: https://forms.gle/PquP4zuZoCNzv2gb9  For more on Terrence Higgins Trust and their work on HIV, sexual health and stigma, visit their website:  https://tht.org.uk/  Purchase ‘Straight Jacket’, Matthew Todd’s book on gay shame which Richard mentions: https://shorturl.at/v1Z2t

    35 min

  4. TRÁILER

    Pod xmas break and thank you

    I'm taking a short break for some quality family time over Christmas. Thank you to all my guests for sharing their story and to you for tuning in. More in the New Year on chosen families, fertility and matrescence....Please get in touch if you'd like to share a story And let me know in the comments below what you'd like to hear more about. Anna

    2 min

  5. 05/12/2025

    Losing Ruby: sudden child loss and grief, A Normal Family Podcast Ep.6

    My guest this week suddenly lost her daughter Ruby aged just 17. Losing a child suddenly changes everything in a single moment. Trigger warning - this episode deals with sudden child death and bereavement. Please be kind to yourself if you have been affected by these issues. It started as a normal Thursday morning and ended with Jo and her husband Nev leaving the hospital with just a folder of handprints and locks of her daughter's hair.In this special National Grief Awareness Week episode, we talk about: - The shock of sudden child loss- How grief shows up in the body, mind and relationships- What actually helps bereaved parents - The beautiful ways they are keeping Ruby’s memory alive This conversation is for: - Bereaved parents navigating life after losing a child - Friends and family who want to support someone through grief - Professionals and carers who sit with grieving familiesIf you are grieving, you are not alone. There is no "right" way to do this, and nothing about your grief needs to be fixed or rushed.Chapters: 01:10 Jo’s blended family04:44 Ruby’s story08:22 The day everything changed10:46 Emergency response and hospital13:41 Diagnosis and impossible decisions16:52 Early grief after child loss19:48 Support after sudden loss  @2wishcharity  20:15 Work, money and support21:03 Finding purpose in pain22:36 Remembering Ruby with love25:21 Twin loss and sibling grief28:47 Advice for grieving parents31:22 Cherished memories and hope33:32 Redefining a normal familyNew here? A Normal Family is a podcast about the messy, beautiful truth of modern family life — parenting, intergenerational dynamics, and the ways love and loss shape who we become. Subscribe for more honest conversations around family, relationships and mental health.If this episode helps you, please like, comment, and share it with someone who might need to hear it today. You may be interested in our other videos dealing with loss and grief: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIQCjLrOP5WN3-FgUCwEy_EpRvPv_hrye #NationalGriefAwarenessWeek #NewPodcast #betterrelationships

    35 min

  6. 03/12/2025 · CONTENIDO EXTRA

    Gentle grief affirmations to support your healing #grief journey #healingafterloss #healingjourney

    These are ten, gentle affirmations for grief, inspired by the many conversations I have had with people on the Normal Family podcast who have suffered loss. They are designed to help you on your healing journey. Download or save so that you can listen to them daily to help rewire your thoughts for kindness. Please remember this is not therapy. If your grief feels overwhelming, reach out for professional grief support or counselling—asking for help is a strength.

    3 min

  7. 30/11/2025

    Covid, grief and resilience ft Emma: A Normal Family Podcast, Ep 5

    In this special episode for Grief Awareness Week, my former colleague Emma Charlesworth talks openly about life after losing her partner Charlie to covid in 2020. *Trigger warning, this episode deals with loss and death - please look after yourself if you have been affected by these issues* They had already learned to be resilient having survived Charlie’s cancer and a missed miscarriage.  We also talk about  - How she has made her way through the hardest days including the transformative impact of EMDR therapy  - Her trusteeship of Widowed and Young (WAY), the UK charity supporting people widowed before the age of 51, offering peer-to-peer connection so no young widow has to grieve alone. https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/ - Talking about grief with her daughter and how their loss differs  With warmth and honesty, she shows that loss isn’t a straight line—and that it’s a sign of strength to ask for help.  Emma’s words are a comfort to anyone facing grief or trying to support a friend. If you’ve been bereaved, are supporting someone who is grieving, this conversation is for you. Emma’s courage, warmth and honesty offer both companionship and hope in one of life’s hardest chapters. Chapters 00:57 Meeting and falling in love 03:26 Dealing with loss and miscarriage 04:28 Navigating the pandemic 13:13 Charlie is hospitalised with covid 16:05 Will daddy be ok? 16:50 Guilt and motherhood 17:43 Processing grief in isolation 20:40 Rebecca’s grief journey 23:41 Turning pain into purpose 25:32 The strength in vulnerability 26:48 What solo parenting really means 27:32 Navigating relationships after loss 32:08 The non-linear nature of grief Please also look out for her book, published last month, ‘Is Daddy going to be ok?’ https://shorturl.at/APoFm  Thank you for sharing this episode, liking and commenting. *Every* engagement makes a difference.

    36 min

  8. 27/11/2025

    One and done ft Vikki-Kate, A Normal Family Podcast, Ep 4.

    This week I talk to Vikki-Kate who got in touch to share her experiences as a ‘one and done’ mum, the friends and family who supported her and the judgement of people online. Vikki-Kate shares her parenting hacks for raising a girl, managing screen time and getting your kids to open up. We also talk about being a pet parent and how rituals help build belonging. Please note, this episode contains strong language! Please subscribe and rate this episode - every 👍, share or comment really helps. And if you would like to share your story, please get in touch via this form: https://forms.gle/w3uVJe4yZUpH3Qry9 Chapters 00:54 Introduction to Vikki-Kate's Home Life​03:00 Being a one and done parent​09:02 They grow up so quick, it's a mindf*ck!​11:18 Mother-daughter relationship​16:33 Modern parenting challenges​17:58 Children's screen time​20:46 Neurodiversity and ADHD​22:12 Tips to get your kids to open up​24:37 Magic tummy​25:54 Building emotional intelligence​27:30 Children's understanding of sexuality​31:26 The Role of rituals in belonging​35:26 Freedom to choose​35:37 What is a normal family?​Follow A Normal Family on instagram:   / a.normal.family   Follow A Normal Family on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?... #oneanddone #modernparenting #familytraditions #motherhood #realmums #realmoms #familiesunfiltered #parentinghacks #mothersanddaughters #newpodcast #humanstories #familydynamics #parentingstyles #mumlife #neurodiversity #adhd #parentingdebate #betterrelationships #realfamilies one and done, parenting, motherhood, one child, modern parenting, screen time, family traditions, child development, communication, parenting styles, emotional intelligence, better relationships, self care, parenting hacks, family relationships,

    38 min

  9. 05/11/2025

    Ruth: breaking the cycle

    Family isn’t just about where we come from—it’s about the patterns and lessons we pass down. In this episode, Ruth shares the stories of three generations of women in her family who shaped her life. We talk about mother-daughter relationships, what it has taught her about being a ‘good enough’ parent and how to break the cycle.  If you’ve ever wondered why your family does things the way it does—or dreamed about choosing a new way forward—this is for you. 00:00 Trailer01:26 Introduction 04:35 Childhood experiences07:49 Mother-daughter relationships11:14 The story of Ruth's Grandmother15:03 Family patterns across generations18:35 Mother's betrayal21:46 Reflections on relationships and growth22:37 The process of writing25:00 Researching family stories30:20 Mother's accountability32:44 Lessons for all35:56 How to find 'Where Are the Grown Ups?' Buy 'Where are the grown ups?' here: https://shorturl.at/p6XRg  #BreakingTheCycle #FamilyPatterns #PersonalGrowth #RealTalk #ANormalFamily #PodcastLife #CourageToChange  #EastEndLondon #FamilyInterview #JewishHeritage #Genealogy #Ancestry #FamilyConnections #Podcast

    38 min

  10. 15/10/2025

    DNA Surprises: Tommy’s Journey to the Truth

    Join Anna for the first-ever interview she conducted for a Normal Family, featuring Tommy from California. At 66, Tommy discovered the man who raised him wasn’t his biological father—a story shared by many as DNA testing uncovers family secrets. In this episode: • Navigating DNA surprises and paternity revelations • Compassion and forgiveness in families with hidden secrets • Reflections on fatherhood, legacy, and healing from the past If you’re intrigued by stories of family, identity, and personal discovery, you’ll find inspiration and connection here.  🔔 Subscribe for more interviews with people confronting extraordinary family truths 👍 Like, comment, and share to help us grow this community! 📷 Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a.normal.family/  ☕Get in touch if you have a story to share: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfCySo69H8MLnCD10kr6kPE2GXiHD5T-dAeq8aR3kZeEcsDqw/viewform

    29 min

  11. 12/06/2025

    Teen mum to tarot reuinion

    Welcome to A Normal Family - a mini-series packed with intriguing stories, relatable experiences, and a fresh perspective on what family really means in the 21st century. In this full length interview, Denise shares her story from adoption to becoming a teenage mum to finding her family with Tarot. She talks about the power of therapy and her healing from years of shame.  Stories help us understand ourselves and the world around us. For more like this, like, subscribe and share with your friends.  TIMESTAMPS  00:00 Introduction 01:10 Falling pregnant at 14 04:47 Being a teenage mum 07:47 Denise's search for her biological family 09:42 How Tarot helped Denise find her family 12:44 Meeting her biological family for the first time 17:41 Complex feelings towards her mum 19:52 Breaking the cycle of neglect 22:21 Facing shame and seeking help 28:03 Overcoming shame through EMDR 30:02 The power of therapy 38:30 Like and subscribe!

    39 min

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Wondering why your family feels “not so normal”, or why the same patterns keep repeating in your relationships? This podcast on family healing and modern relationships helps you understand yourself, your family and how it shaped you, so you can build healthier relationships and happier lives. Through intimate interviews and personal storytelling, Anna Wallace explores modern family life – parenting and living childfree, divorce and blended families, loss, estrangement and reconciliation, and what it means to “break the cycle” of family trauma without breaking yourself.

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