Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.
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Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

  1. When Your Therapist is the Narcissist! + Answering Your Fan Mail

    1 DAY AGO

    When Your Therapist is the Narcissist! + Answering Your Fan Mail

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! What happens when a narcissistic therapist uses their professional training against you? This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Seattle who writes: “I dated a narcissist who was also a licensed clinical social worker. Can you talk about the weaponization of therapeutic training by narcissists?” In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic mental health professions can use psychology to pathologize your emotions and silence your voice. How the imbalance of power could be weaponized against you. Submit Your Question If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail                                       **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Support the show

    8 min
  2. How the Victim’s Personality & Attachment Styles Shape Healing and Recovery - Featuring Chelli Pumphrey

    4 DAYS AGO

    How the Victim’s Personality & Attachment Styles Shape Healing and Recovery - Featuring Chelli Pumphrey

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Do you know what one of the most dangerous traps you can fall for? Believing that you can “fix” a narcissist’s early attachment wounds.  In this exclusive episode, therapist and author Chelli Pumphrey explains why narcissists rarely have secure attachments, how anxious or disorganized patterns drive their constant need for supply, and why survivors’ empathy often backfires when met with exploitation. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW  Find it here for the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.  MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA  🔹 What’s the attachment style of a narcissist? In this powerful bonus conversation, Chelli Pumphrey shares the impact of narcissist’s attachment styles on relationship dynamics.   Get immediate access to this extended interview—and discover which attachment styles are more common among narcissists and other personality disorders.  👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse MORE ABOUT CHELLI:  Book: Insight is 20/20: How To Trust Yourself To Protect Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationships  Website CHELLI PUMPHREY, LPC, CCTP-II, NAST, is a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 30 years of clinical experience. She is a Level II Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and a Certified Narcissistic Abuse and Survivor Treatment Clinician, specializing in complex trauma, adult attachment, and recovery from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. She serves on the advisory board for the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Survivor Treatment.     **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships.  Support the show

    37 min
  3. Can You Really Heal a Trauma Bond? + Why Do Narcissists Cheat? Answering Your Fan Mail

    18 SEPT

    Can You Really Heal a Trauma Bond? + Why Do Narcissists Cheat? Answering Your Fan Mail

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Can you really heal a trauma bond—or is the damage permanent?  This week’s Fan Mail features two powerful questions. The first comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “Is it really possible to break a trauma bond? Even Dr. Ramani says she still struggles daily—so what’s the point of fighting, especially if kids are involved?”  The second comes from a listener in New York, New York who wants to know: “Why do narcissists cheat—and how can you tell if it’s happening to you?”  In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the reality of healing from trauma bonds, offering both hope and hard truth, and explores the eight most common reasons narcissists cheat—plus the warning signs to watch for in your relationship.  Submit Your Question  If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail  **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Support the show

    11 min
  4. When Your Mother Hurts Instead of Loves You: Understanding The Controlling Mom

    15 SEPT

    When Your Mother Hurts Instead of Loves You: Understanding The Controlling Mom

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Can you ever be “good enough” for a difficult mother?  In this episode, psychotherapist Katherine Fabrizio, author of The Good Daughter Syndrome, reveals why empathic daughters feel trapped in cycles of guilt, exhaustion, and approval-seeking—and how to finally reclaim your power and identity.  Tronick’s Still (Blank) Face Experiment PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW  Find it here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse for the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter.  MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA  🔹 Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying “no”—it’s about grieving the mother you wish you had while facing the reality of the one you do.  In this powerful bonus conversation, Katherine Fabrizio shares how to let go of the fantasy of a different mom, why pushback is a sign you’re on the right track, and how to reframe chronic protest behaviors as grief instead of personal failure.  Get immediate access to this extended interview—and discover the strength to set boundaries that honor your life.  👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse MORE ABOUT DR. FABRIZIO Book: The Good Daughter Syndrome: Help For Empathic Daughters of Narcissistic, Borderline, or Difficult Mothers Trapped in the Role of the Good Daughter  WebsiteInstagram Facebook YouTubeTikTokKATHERINE FABRIZIO, M.A., L.C.M.H.C., is a psychotherapist, mother, and the author of the Amazon bestseller, internationally published, and award-winning book The Good Daughter Syndrome. She lives in Raleigh, N.C., where she dances to loud music, talks to her husband about everything, and enjoys her grandchildren without doing any of the work.    **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships.  Support the show

    28 min
  5. Why Do We REALLY Stay? Answering Your Fan Mail

    11 SEPT

    Why Do We REALLY Stay? Answering Your Fan Mail

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! This week’s fan mail dives into two powerful questions about surviving emotional abuse. First, Dr. Kerry explores what it means when you stop crying—and why emotional shutdown can be a survival mechanism in toxic relationships. Then she tackles whether the sunk cost fallacy is really what keeps us stuck with a narcissist, or if something deeper is at play. Submit Your Question! If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here!  **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Support the show

    6 min
  6. How to Outsmart a Narcissist in Court: Family Law Secrets from Michele Locke

    8 SEPT

    How to Outsmart a Narcissist in Court: Family Law Secrets from Michele Locke

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Going through a custody battle or divorce with a narcissist? The you know the legal system can feel stacked against you. This week, former family law judge and attorney Michele Locke reveals exactly how narcissists twist the truth, exploit legal loopholes, and weaponize the court process — and what you can do to outsmart them. Whether you’re divorcing a narcissist, navigating parental alienation, or preparing for a high-conflict custody hearing, discover the insider tools to safeguard your case and your peace of mind. Podcast Extra Exclusive Interview Find it here the exclusive interview and weekly newsletter. More About the Podcast Extra Interview 🔹 Choosing the wrong attorney in a custody battle can cost you more than money—it can cost you your case. In this members-only conversation, former family law judge Michele Locke shares how to spot when your lawyer isn’t the right fit, why survivors of toxic relationships are at higher risk of hiring another toxic professional, and exactly what to do if you need to make a switch mid-case. You’ll discover early red flags that your attorney might derail your custody fight, why “feeling comfortable” can sometimes be the wrong signal, and how to protect yourself from repeating old relationship patterns in the courtroom. But most importantly, learn how to replace your lawyer without sabotaging your case. Get immediate access to this extended interview—and make sure the person representing you is truly fighting for your future. 👉 Join today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse. More About Michele Locke: Website: https://www.coldwellbowes.com/people/michele-l-locke Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attorneymichelelocke/ Podcast - LoveLustLaw: https://www.michelelocke.com/podcast    **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Support the show

    28 min
  7. Practical Steps to Stopping the Crazy Confusion: Answering Your Fan Mail

    4 SEPT

    Practical Steps to Stopping the Crazy Confusion: Answering Your Fan Mail

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! What do you do when you can’t just cut off a toxic person? This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “How do I stop the cognitive dissonance and self-doubt when I can’t go no-contact with a toxic person?” In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why cognitive dissonance is such a powerful trap in emotionally abusive relationships—especially when you’re forced to maintain contact. Submit Your Question If you would like your question addressed on air, please respond here! **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Support the show

    7 min
  8. Why We Miss the Abuse — And How to Break Free from the Confusion

    1 SEPT

    Why We Miss the Abuse — And How to Break Free from the Confusion

    Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Why do so many survivors miss they’re being abuse? In this Labor Day Special, I’m revisiting three powerful interviews that follow the journey from denial to freedom. First, we explore how abuse often hides in plain sight, even for smart, capable people. The author I’m referencing as “he” is Don Hennessey and his book, How He Gets into Her Head. Then, we examine how cognitive dissonance keeps you stuck. Finally, we describe what late-stage cognitive dissonance sounds and feels like—when you barely recognize yourself, and know you have to leave. Whether you’re still in or out of a toxic relationship, learning to recognize the psychological patterns can help you plan your next step toward freedom. Although there’s no Podcast Extra interview, in this week’s newsletter we take a deep dive into the underpinnings of cognitive dissonance, including if abusers’ intentionally created it to keep you stuck. Have a Fan Mail Question? Submit it here!     **************************************** Stay in Touch Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project. In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Support the show

    27 min
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Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

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