Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, connects you the listener with people and resources to help you feel less alone. Consider it an invitation to "withness".
Shifting Perspective on Hard Things :: Summer of Mentorship Week 6
In this episode, Jen shares what she’s learned about heaven (from co-leading a study for 100+ women). She also gives a super practical way to figure out how you can help a friend in need. Jen reminds us mamas to hold our children loosely. To realize we have the privilege of partnering with God, but ultimately how our children “turn out” is up to him.
And this. . .
It’s hard in the crisis to build that support system. Invest in women’s lives now. Not because you’re going to need them in case you have cancer. But that the time invested in friendships, meaningful friendships is worth it.–Jen
My biggest take-away from our conversation is to view my “to do” list as a “get to do” list. What joy to get to pick up my boys from school, to get to serve them meals, and to get to put them to bed!
Wrapping up this summer may we all see our everyday in light of eternity. Be grateful for all our “get to”s. And invest in our sweet friendships.
Read more of Jen’s story: Personal Blog
What we chat about: Jen’s surprise engagement, surprise baby and surprise cancer diagnosis. Hope for the mom with chronic sickness/trauma/heartache. What Jen’s learned about how friends help well. The truths Jen gained from studying Heaven last summer. Lessons for all of us to hold our children loosely. Dealing with temper tantrums and other challenging behavior when mom is sick. The value of building strong friendships. Links Mentioned: “Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 115:1) “Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.” (Psalm 43:3) In Light of Eternity by Randy Alcorn “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:2-3) Nobody’s Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle Just Show Up by Kara Tippetts & Jill Lynn Butelyn Featured Sponsors:
Glorify App—Glorify your relationship with God with 50% off unlimited access to premium
content designed to help you get into good worship habits and grow closer to God. Download the Glorify app now, create an account and enter code DMA in the
profile section for a special limited-time discount of 50%. Lovevery — Take the guesswork out of your child’s play. Choose Lovevery TODAY and get free shipping when you sign up to receive your Play Kits at Lovevery.com/DMA.
Encouraging the Exhausted Mom :: Summer of Mentorship Week 5
That’s how I’d describe my mind after years and years of sleep deprivation.
Most young moms (especially if you had lots of littles in a row) know the challenge of forming a complete thought. Or staying focused during a quiet time. Or even having a moment alone with God.
I know Jennie understands.
Jennie is a sweet mom of two from Cambridge, England. She emailed me sharing struggles with sleep deprivation. Her son suffered from a serious of medical challenges leaving them with four years of interrupted sleep.
She knows the power of a strong relationship with God. But in this season has found connecting deeply with Him difficult given her exhausted, “mush brain”.
The mentor that I called to answer Jennie’s questions is the amazing Sally Clarkson.
Sally understands having children who don’t sleep and she’s been through her share of challenging seasons. From those experiences and others she began to mentor young moms and encourage other women to do the same .
In this episode, Sally helps moms move beyond traditional spiritual disciplines to experience God in their everyday moments. Inspiring us to find the goodness of God, by intentionally filling our lives with beauty and pleasure.
For the exhausted mom who longs to know God better, I hope this episode gives you peace, perspective and practical ideas.
Connect with Sally Clarkson: Site :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest
What we chat about: Jennie’s Questions:
How do I have a decent quiet time when I’m exhausted? What tips do you have for getting through challenging circumstances? Does a hard season have long-term impacts on your faith? Sally’s Answers:
Motherhood is a battleground. What we struggle through is normal and women for generations have experienced it. God created us to be in community. God is present through people. Build things into your life to enjoy the goodness of God. Other topics we cover:
Journaling prayers Breath prayers Physical rest vs. soul rest Links Mentioned: Jubilee Centre Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love** by Sally Clarkson MomHeart Groups How to Study Your Bible ** by Kay Arthur (Inductive Studies)
Lacey Dobrient, “The Color Method” (Hear more about it from her interview on the podcast–Episode 63 HelloMornings Philip Yancy Featured Sponsors:
Function of Beauty -- Take your quiz and get customized hair products for 20% off your first order at functionofbeauty.com/DMA
Stitch Fix Kids -- Try Stitch Fix Kids today and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix. Go to StitchFix.com/DMA
Breaking Up with Perfect :: Summer of Mentorship Week 4
If you've ever strived for perfection, then you know how it feels when you fall short.
Maybe you aren't the one carrying a list of all you "need to do to earn God's love." But more the type who carries a "Never Good Enough List” with all the reasons you'll never be able to earn His love.
Either way, Amy Carroll, (author, speaker, Proverbs 31 contributor) is on the podcast this week helping us break up with perfect.
In this episode (and in her new book), Amy helps us recognize the lies we have been believing and the Truth to set us free.
Lies like: "I was created to produce perfection" or "People are obstacles to my tasks" or "If I have the right stuff, my life will be perfect."
My favorite quote from our conversation was:
Only when I end my own pursuit of perfection can God do a perfecting work in me. --Amy Carroll
May you experience a supernatural freedom from the struggle to be perfect. May your friendships deepen, your family be strengthened and your awareness of God's love grow as you stop striving and surrender to His gentle heart work.
Connect with Amy: Breaking Up with Perfect :: Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest
What we chat about: The events making Amy aware of her perfectionism The impact a mentor had in Amy's journey to lose the list of perfect The supernatural work God did on Amy to break the shell around her heart, to feel His love The two perfect super moms in Amy's head--torn between two ideals. The destruction of friendship when perfectionism enters. The different types of perfectionists and their lists: good girl list or the never-good-enough list The possibility of passing on perfectionism to our kids. Links Mentioned: Courtney DeFeo--our connector Breaking up with Perfect Dr. Caroline Leaf Proverbs 31 Ministries The Opinion Blender--didn't mention in podcast, but found it on Amy's site. . .such great advice Discussion Questions: Have you had friendships end because of your struggles with perfection? When friends go through hard times do you wonder how to be a good, imperfect friend? Do you have a mentor? Is there someone you wish you could meet with? Could you make a plan to meet with her once in the next few months? Could you relate to Amy’s struggle to feel God’s love and having a list of things you have to do to be right with God? What areas are you striving for perfection in motherhood? Who is your mental ‘ideal’ mom? Earth-mama, right-on-schedule mom? Which type of perfectionist do you relate to—the good girl list or the never-good-enough list? Need to measure up or will never measure up? Or do you swing between the lists? What have you found helpful to break up with perfection? Featured Sponsors: Betterhelp--get 10% off your first month of secure online professional counseling betterhelp.com/DMA
Glorify app--Get 50% off unlimited access to Glorify App with promo code DMA applied in the profile section of the app.
Identifying Your “Wifestyle” :: Summer of Mentorship Week 3
Our first year of marriage was HARD. And we hit another rough patch (a.k.a. the “come to Jesus” days) after our second son was born. I took all the marriage advice I could get.
For all you mommas out there looking for a little marriage help, I’ve invited Jen Weaver on the show to talk about her newest book, “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness”. This episode originally aired on March 6, 2017.
Jen is an adorable millennial who knows God’s Word and isn’t afraid to hit the marriage topic head on. She shares some great insights on a few controversial issues. But more than anything she helps us identify the marriage habits (a.k.a., “WifeStyles”) that are attracting or denying the blessings God has for our marriages.
What we chat about: What is a “wifestyle”? Habits that can attract or deny the blessings God has for our marriages The slightly-controversial topic of “submission” Making room for your spouse to lead and space for the Lord to speak. What about when your spouse isn’t walking with the Lord? Wifestyles: “braided” or “frayed” What Jesus asked Jen. Wifestyles: “doubtful” or “decided” When you go through a relationship winter after a new baby Hebrew convo about “chayil”and Proverbs 31 woman who is a wife of valor Connect with Jen Weaver: Website :: Instagram
Links Mentioned: “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness” by Jen Weaver *** Francie Winslow (ep 61-Power of Sex in Marriage &ep 138 Ripple effect of healthy sexual connection) Discussion Questions: Discuss the idea of submission the way it’s described in the episode. How can you choose to make space for your spouse to lead in your relationship? In what ways do you lead? Do you feel frayed or braided with God right now? How can you rebraid your attention back toward God? What was your most recent relationship winter? How did you come through that? What are your Proverbs 31 wife superpowers? How do you use your strengths in a way that blesses and doesn’t hinder? Featured Sponsors: Rothy’s — Don’t miss this great opportunity! Get $20 off a purchase of $100 or more. Rothys.com/DMA. Thrive Market — Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA. Join today to get $20 off your first order AND a FREE gift!
Mentoring Mom Insecurities :: Summer of Mentorship Week 2
This special episode was recorded at our first Live Event held in 2017. Guests, Kat Lee & Wynter Pitts shared their mom stories. And encouraged with audience with thoughts on mentorship, friendship and dealing with fear and insecurity in motherhood.
What we chat about: Kat Lee and Wynter Pitts’ motherhood stories Dealing with insecurities in motherhood The importance of having mentors and deep friends in the motherhood journey Mentors don’t have to be older than you or available weekly. Find a way to make mentorship work for you. Think of areas you are struggling with and look for someone who excels in that area to mentor you, no matter their age Start or join a DMA podcast club as a way to connect with other women You can be a mentor too! Look for younger moms who need encouragement. We are never alone because God is with us, but it’s hard to remember that when life gets crazy. Kat and Wynter share what helps them remember God in the midst of life. “Should is not a sustainable why.” Don’t just do things you SHOULD do if you don’t have a good reason for WHY. Helping your kids develop healthy friendships and community Not trying to over control your children’s lives and praying through how involved you should be in their friendships Hope for dealing with irrational fears and grief Giving yourself permission to be honest with God when you aren’t coping well and realizing that he is good despite your circumstances Connect with Kat and HelloMornings: Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram
Connect with For Girls Like You: Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram
Links Mentioned: Music sung by Elena Pitts--"Even when it hurts" by Hillsong UNITED "HelloMornings" Book* by Kat Lee Start a DMA Podcast Club Paul David Tripp’s devotional, New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional ** Barefoot Dreams Bamboo Lite Wrap** (aka "The Blardigan") She Is Yours: Trusting God As You Raise the Girl He Gave You ** by Wynter Pitts Featured Sponsors:
Lovevery — Take the guesswork out of your child’s play. Choose Lovevery TODAY and get free shipping when you sign up to receive your Play Kits at Lovevery.com/DMA Function of Beauty — Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/DMA to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order. That applies to their full range of customized hair, skin, and body products.
Resolving Sibling Conflict:: Summer of Mentorship Wk 1
"They just keep fighting!"
Summer, for us, means lots of unstructured time together as a family. Which is great. . . until it's not.
Perhaps you can identify. Maybe you see yourself in one of the following situations:
Situation #1 - The kids are fighting - again! The harder you try to make it stop, the worse it seems to get - and the kids seem more and more resentful.
Situation #2 - One minute they love each other and the next minute they’re arch enemies. The older they get the louder and angrier it gets. You hate the way this affects everyone’s mood, including your own.
Situation #3 - Time-outs, required apologies, and firmness temporarily curb the fighting, but it soon comes back with more intensity.
Situation #4 - Your young kids are beginning their rivalry and you worry where it’s heading if you don’t learn some better strategies. (copied from Sibling Conflict Online Course description).
Jim & Lynne Jackson from ConnectedFamilies.org are back to equip us in training our children to solve conflict well. And instead of just wishing they would "just stop fighting", to recognize the gospel work of guiding our family to reconciliation.
Jim & Lynne have been on the show before sharing their fabulous 4-layer framework for discipline that connects (Listen here to Episode 80 & 81). And again helping connect in any situation (Ep 98).
Today, they are talking us through The Peace Process. A simple but effective way to guide our kids to a lifetime of reconciled relationships. Here's their great graphic with the four steps moving us from "crazy mountain" to peaceful reconciliation (Click here to print your own copy):
Conflict is inevitable. Instead of just getting frustrated and annoyed, I've found having a plan to reconnect hearts and train empathy so helpful. I also loved all the phrases Jim & Lynne modeled to use as we guide our children through the process. Here are some of my favorites (I'll be bookmarking this page and referring to often):
"Sounds like y'all are having a hard time. Do you need my help or are you able to work it out on your own?" "Solving brains won't work until we're calm. Why don't we each find a comfortable place. How long do you need? 5 min? 10 min? Then we'll come back together to work this out." "Did you hear that? How does she feel? Do you like that what you did made her feel that way? You two are listening to each other. How does that feel?" "Your big feelings are a gift. And they are an even greater gift with you can use them to help understand other's big feelings." "What's going on? What was important to each person? How have you solved this problem before? Would you like to think of ways to solve the problem or do you want me to help give you choices on how to solve it?" "Are there four things you could say that are kind and true about that person?" Lastly, if you need more help learning how to guide your kiddos through the peace process, check out Jim & Lynne's new SIBLING CONFLICT ONLINE COURSE. I'll be working through it this summer. Join me! USE DMA20 to save 20% off.
What we chat about: Considering your own baggage/sibling situation as you rush into your kids' conflict. Are we trying to get conflict to stop or teach reconciliation? The four steps to "The Peace Process". A real life example of applying peace process. How training in reconciliation helps our kids in their future marriages and relationships. Helping our kids learn how to solve the problem of the conflict (a 3-step process). A scenario of a more empathetic child in conflict with a more strong-willed child--growing specific skills in kids. Addressing the differences in your kids outside of conflict. Help for the mom who has a child with special needs in the sibling mix. Connecting with others based not on experience but emotion. Tips for conflicts that happen right before you have to l