Hoopatheticals

Jez F.M & Thom Nixon

A comedy NBA podcast hosted by comedian Jez F.M and hot-take machine Thom Nixon. It has been voted as the NBA podcast with the highest joke-to-sound-effect podcast on the internet, so sit back, relax and enjoy unhinged takes about the NBA.

  1. 11/12/2025

    Lakers Cookin' & Giannis Lookin' - NBA Pre Xmas Check-in

    Apologies, the first 16 mins had tech issues, so we went a bit old school. To make it up we made the episode almost an hour long.In this episode of Hypotheticals, the hosts dive into the current state of the NBA, discussing the struggles of the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Milwaukee Bucks' performance, and the rise of the Oklahoma City Thunder. They also explore the chaos surrounding the Los Angeles Clippers and the uncertain future of Giannis Antetokounmpo. The significance of the NBA Cup is debated, and the episode features a unique segment on NBA poetry, concluding with Agent Cody Bank; a fun pitch for players in the league.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Conversation01:37 Heat Check: Dallas Mavs are Good??03:49 Lakers Haters Nightmare Fuel: The Lakers are Good!05:52 Spurs Good WITHOUT Wemby08:23 Is OKC the New '15/'16 Golden State Warriors10:35 Timberwolves Cold Start12:46 Are the Clippers the Worst Team Ever with 5 HOF Players?15:37 Cleveland Cavaliers' Struggles17:49 Milwaukee Bucks' Downward Spiral19:08 Bucks 1 Month Ago (5th seed) vs Now (10th Seed)21:28 Analyzing Player Performances and Coaching Decisions24:10 Giannis Antetokounmpo's Future with the Bucks27:11 Trade Rumors and Team Dynamics29:55 Conspiracy Theories Surrounding Giannis' Future38:38 Trade Talks and Team Dynamics42:47 Worst Fake: Unscripted Basketball Opinions43:36 Letting CP3 Go was the Best Thing for the Clippers' Season46:10 Why the Raptors are the Dark Horse in the East50:04 Rhyme Out: Poetry in the NBA54:37 Agent Cody Bank: Pitching Players for Contracts

    59 min
  2. 31/07/2025

    The NBA Off-Season Pod You Didn't Know You Needed

    Who wins in a 1v1: Thanasis or Bronny?Was keeping Doc Rivers the biggest non-move of the offseason?And IS LUKA JACKED NOW!?In this episode of Hoopatheticals, hosts Jez and Thom dive into the latest NBA off-season drama, discussing trades, player performances, and team strategies. They conduct heat checks on various teams, analyze the worst off-season moves, and even engage in a fun segment called 'Rhyme Out' where they share poetic takes on the league. The conversation culminates in a detailed Bucks chat, reflecting on the team's off-season decisions and future prospects, while also promoting players in a segment called 'Agent Cody Banks.'Chapters00:00 Introduction and Off-Season Anticipation01:06 Heat Check: Not Having Cash at a Cash Only Bar05:23 Heat Check: NBA Off-Season Moves - Warriors07:30 Heat Check: Jordan Clarkson to the Knicks09:18 Heat Check: Men's Health Luka Vs Off-Season Ben Simmons11:06 Heat Check: Duncan Robinson to the Pistons13:00 Heat Check: KD to the Rockets14:52 Heat Check: Should the Bucks Trade for Zion?16:56 Shots Fired: 1st Team All "Worst Off-Season Moves"17:31 Bradley Beal and the Retiree Clippers19:14 Malik Beasley20:25 CP320:55 Deandre Ayton23:29 Alexander-Walker Leaves the Wolves25:33 Sandro Alert!26:58 Rhyme Out: Championship Edition33:02 Bucks Chat: Evaluating the Team's Off-Season35:25 The Dame Era as a Bucks Fan39:25 Biggest Non-Move: NOT Firing Doc Rivers42:53 Giannis to Point Guard Rumour44:22 Thanasis to Return?!44:42 Rapid Fire: Trade Rumors and Player Prospects45:39 Josh Giddey to the Bucks?46:41 Agent Cody Bank: Lebron & Bradley Beal50:31 Thanasis vs Bronny 1v1. Who you got?51:17 Final Thoughts

    52 min
  3. 26/04/2025

    Two Milwaukee Bucks Fans Panic! + NBA Playoff Check-in

    You gotta lose 2 for it to be Bucks in 6... right? 😢Two Bucks fans get real about whats up with the team (and what Doc is doing to destroy this team), before checking out the rest of the league, and chatting about the home court advantages, Steph still being Steph, "fights" coming back, and what AI is saying will be the NBA Finals this year. They also look at the Lakers vs Timberwolves, Knicks and Detroit Home Court advantage, and do the Clippers cheat to add noise to their stadium. Find out on this episode of HoopatheticalsChapters00:00 Introduction to the NBA Playoffs01:28 Heat Check: Steph Curry03:49 Heat Check: Home Crowds (Knicks, Clippers, Detroit)05:42 Heat Check: Joe Mazzoula06:46 Heat Check: Fights in the First Round09:49 Heat Check: Veterans vs Young Guns (Lakers v Wolves, Warriors v Rockets)12:10 Bucks vs Pacers: Grieving + Series Analysis14:57 Offensive Strategies and Adjustments16:37 Diagnosing the Bucks Problems: Doc Rivers and Coaching18:47 The Problems on Offence20:50 Thoughts on the Bucks' Chances21:54 Missing Khris Middleton and Thanasis22:59 General Milwaukee Bucks Grieving28:44 Coaching Frustrations: Doc Rivers vs. Mike "Bud" Budenholzer31:55 Positive Shots Fired: 1st Team "Needs More Minutes"39:57 Rhyme Out: A Poetic Take on the NBA40:54 A Poem for the Milwaukee Bucks43:27 An Ode to Glenn "Doc" Rivers 45:08 NBA Conspiracy: NBA Script Leak?! NBA Finals '25 Matchup According to AI46:51 Agent Cody Bank: Securing the Bag for Mike Malone49:24 Agent Cody Bank: Darryl Morey51:29 Playoff Predictions: Dark Horses and Exciting Matchups

    53 min

About

A comedy NBA podcast hosted by comedian Jez F.M and hot-take machine Thom Nixon. It has been voted as the NBA podcast with the highest joke-to-sound-effect podcast on the internet, so sit back, relax and enjoy unhinged takes about the NBA.