Hoopatheticals

Jez F.M & Thom Nixon
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A comedy NBA podcast hosted by comedian Jez F.M and hot-take machine Thom Nixon. It has been voted as the NBA podcast with the highest joke-to-sound-effect podcast on the internet, so sit back, relax and enjoy unhinged takes about the NBA.

  1. 11/12/2025

    Lakers Cookin' & Giannis Lookin' - NBA Pre Xmas Check-in

    Apologies, the first 16 mins had tech issues, so we went a bit old school. To make it up we made the episode almost an hour long.In this episode of Hypotheticals, the hosts dive into the current state of the NBA, discussing the struggles of the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Milwaukee Bucks' performance, and the rise of the Oklahoma City Thunder. They also explore the chaos surrounding the Los Angeles Clippers and the uncertain future of Giannis Antetokounmpo. The significance of the NBA Cup is debated, and the episode features a unique segment on NBA poetry, concluding with Agent Cody Bank; a fun pitch for players in the league.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Conversation01:37 Heat Check: Dallas Mavs are Good??03:49 Lakers Haters Nightmare Fuel: The Lakers are Good!05:52 Spurs Good WITHOUT Wemby08:23 Is OKC the New '15/'16 Golden State Warriors10:35 Timberwolves Cold Start12:46 Are the Clippers the Worst Team Ever with 5 HOF Players?15:37 Cleveland Cavaliers' Struggles17:49 Milwaukee Bucks' Downward Spiral19:08 Bucks 1 Month Ago (5th seed) vs Now (10th Seed)21:28 Analyzing Player Performances and Coaching Decisions24:10 Giannis Antetokounmpo's Future with the Bucks27:11 Trade Rumors and Team Dynamics29:55 Conspiracy Theories Surrounding Giannis' Future38:38 Trade Talks and Team Dynamics42:47 Worst Fake: Unscripted Basketball Opinions43:36 Letting CP3 Go was the Best Thing for the Clippers' Season46:10 Why the Raptors are the Dark Horse in the East50:04 Rhyme Out: Poetry in the NBA54:37 Agent Cody Bank: Pitching Players for Contracts

    59 min

  2. 11/11/2025

    NBA's First 3 Weeks: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

    It's been a fantastic start to the NBA season, but not for everyone.In this episode, hosts Thom and Jez break down the over and underperformers to start off the year, that have a conversation about the MVP (and they get very Giannis with one another), and should Lebron be traded? PLus they look at some sorry fan bases and chat about what has been going on since the opening week of the 2025-26 season.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Season Overview01:16 Heat Check: Teams on the Rise05:17 Heat Check: Teams Underperforming10:11 The Pistons' Surprising Success11:41 Redacted: Conspiracy Theories in the NBA - Blazers Edt.17:47 Worst Fake: Debating The Suns Backcourt21:40 LeBron and the Ewing Theory24:34 Rhyme Out: NBA Poetry Segment29:44 Bucks Chat: Analyzing Team Dynamics41:45 Agent Cody Banks: Player Contracts and Future Prospects

    49 min

  3. 27/10/2025

    NBA's Best Opening Week Ever? + Wemby vs Wilt & Super Saiyan Giannis

    Is Wemby already better than Wilt Chamberlain, but without the off-court shenanigans? Are the Antetokounmpo brothers like infinity stones making Giannis stronger? And what does Luka averaging 40+ points tell us about the Laker's season?Chapters00:00 NBA Season Kickoff Excitement01:23 Best Opening Week in NBA History?02:36 Luka and the Lakers Early Season04:25 Is Wemby Already Wilt?06:02 Wemby vs. Wilt: A New Era?07:56 Is Embiid Washed?09:32 New Antetokounmpo Brother Added to Milwaukee10:22 Will we have a New NBA MVP this Season?12:19 Netflix's Starting Five: Evaluating Durant, Harden, SGA, Hali & Jaylen Brown20:44 Bucks Chat: Giannis and Role Players24:54 Emerging Talent in the Bucks' Roster32:37 NBA Conspiracies and Off-Court Shenanigans: Betting Scandal37:24 Rhyme Out: NBA Poetry Segment43:00 Agent Cody Banks: Securing the Bag for Players

    48 min

  4. 08/10/2025

    The Worst Thing to Say to Every NBA Franchise for the 2025/26 Season

    What is the one thing every team is feeling a bit uneasy about? And what does all of this mean for free agent Russell Westbrook?In today's ep, hosts, Jez and Thom break down the worst thing to say to every franchise, a interesting Kawhi-style alleged revelation about a loved role-player, and they catch up with local basketball fan Stavro to hear his thoughts on a European club match hosted in Melbourne Feat. Jabari Parker...plus way moreChapters00:00 Welcome and Introduction to Shots Fired01:22 Worst Thing You Can Say to Every NBA Franchise: Celtics & Mavericks03:38 Shots Fired Cont. - Nets, Nuggets Knicks05:06 Warriors, Raptors, Rockets06:14 Bulls, Clippers, Cavs07:35 Lakers, Pistons, Grizzlies09:19 Pacers, Timberwolves, Bucks11:42 Pelicans, Hawks, Thunder13:13 Hornets, Suns, Heat14:15 Trailblazers, Magic, Kings15:07 Spurs & Jazz16:35 Does Thanasis have his own Kawhi-Style Scandal?20:22 Watching Jabari Parker Play Basketball in Melbourne In 202522:34 Interview with a Local Basketball Enthusiast27:13 Bucks Chat: Kuzma, Former Obscure Bucks32:49 Russell Westbrook: A Controversial Addition?35:17 Agent Cody Banks: Securing the Bag for NBA Players40:01 Worst Thing you can say to a Sixers fan

    42 min

  5. 16/09/2025

    Was This The Last Ben Simmons Off-Season Ever? - The Ben Simmons Moratorium Episode

    What should Ben Simmons do now that his career in the NBA appears to be winding down? Well luckily, we have pulled together a list of his most likely next career moves in our segment Shots Fired. We also chat about the Milwaukee Bucks and Euroleague/ Eurobasket, the Kawhi situation and why it is the most Clippers thing ever, and a poem for Josh Giddey. Plus we have some crazy new visual effects! Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Banter 01:39 Segment: Shots Fired - Ben Simmons' Most Likely Next Career Moves 07:07 Worst Fake - Ben Simmons is the Best Aussie NBA Player Ever? 10:17 Worst Fake: Giannis' Potential West Coast Landing Spot 12:34 Introduction and NBA Predictions 14:24 NBA Conspiracies: The Kawhi Situation 17:14 The Clippers' Controversy and League Implications 22:31 Bucks Chat: Team Updates and Performances 24:08 Roster Decisions: Thanasis vs. Ajax 28:08 Khris Middleton's Return to Milwaukee 1st Game of the Season 29:20 Rhyme Out: Josh Giddey 35:40 Agent Cody Bank: Representing NBA Players 40:25 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

    41 min

  6. 19/08/2025

    Does the NBA have an Anti-Australian Bias? + Celtics Champs '26? and More

    What Aussie is properly rated in the NBA?... I'LL WAIT!In today's episode, we go down the Anti-Aussie NBA rabbit hole, why the Celtics could win the championship this year (and how that affects Michael Jordan's Legacy), and first team all-Show Up or Shut-Up for this season. Plus Rhyme Out and Agent Cody BankChapters00:00 Introduction and Season Reflections01:29 Shots Fired: Breakout Season Required2:50 Shots Fired: De’Aron Fox3:57: Shots Fired: Trae Young5:48 Shots Fired: Luka Doncic7:20 Jokic & Giannis: No More MVPs8:28 Shots Fired: MPJ9:40 Shots Fired: Evan Mobley + Cavs11:07 Shots Fired: Joel Embiid11:55 Rapid Fire: Raptors, Zion, Aaron Neismith14:06 Worst Fake: Boston's Championship Year16:38Worst Fake: Sixers Championship Year + Anti-Giannis Take18:35 Tyrese Maxey: NBA's Most Underrated Star?19:51 Conspiracy Segment: Rookie of the Year Predictions22:37 The Curse of Number Zero Conspiracy24:58 Rhyme Out: NBA Poetry Segment26:32 Poem: Giannis Antetokounmpo: Trade Rumors and Loyalty29:16 Poem: MPJ & The Kyle Kuzma Zone32:18 Badge of Honor: Amir Coffey's Impact36:25 Obscure Buck Reference: Grayson Allen37:00 Agent Cody Bank: Getting NBA Characters the Bag - Joe Prunty & Josh Giddey42:28 Anti-Australian Bias in the NBA45:53 Bonus! Dyson Daniels for DPOY - The Bias in Effect

    47 min

  7. 31/07/2025

    The NBA Off-Season Pod You Didn't Know You Needed

    Who wins in a 1v1: Thanasis or Bronny?Was keeping Doc Rivers the biggest non-move of the offseason?And IS LUKA JACKED NOW!?In this episode of Hoopatheticals, hosts Jez and Thom dive into the latest NBA off-season drama, discussing trades, player performances, and team strategies. They conduct heat checks on various teams, analyze the worst off-season moves, and even engage in a fun segment called 'Rhyme Out' where they share poetic takes on the league. The conversation culminates in a detailed Bucks chat, reflecting on the team's off-season decisions and future prospects, while also promoting players in a segment called 'Agent Cody Banks.'Chapters00:00 Introduction and Off-Season Anticipation01:06 Heat Check: Not Having Cash at a Cash Only Bar05:23 Heat Check: NBA Off-Season Moves - Warriors07:30 Heat Check: Jordan Clarkson to the Knicks09:18 Heat Check: Men's Health Luka Vs Off-Season Ben Simmons11:06 Heat Check: Duncan Robinson to the Pistons13:00 Heat Check: KD to the Rockets14:52 Heat Check: Should the Bucks Trade for Zion?16:56 Shots Fired: 1st Team All "Worst Off-Season Moves"17:31 Bradley Beal and the Retiree Clippers19:14 Malik Beasley20:25 CP320:55 Deandre Ayton23:29 Alexander-Walker Leaves the Wolves25:33 Sandro Alert!26:58 Rhyme Out: Championship Edition33:02 Bucks Chat: Evaluating the Team's Off-Season35:25 The Dame Era as a Bucks Fan39:25 Biggest Non-Move: NOT Firing Doc Rivers42:53 Giannis to Point Guard Rumour44:22 Thanasis to Return?!44:42 Rapid Fire: Trade Rumors and Player Prospects45:39 Josh Giddey to the Bucks?46:41 Agent Cody Bank: Lebron & Bradley Beal50:31 Thanasis vs Bronny 1v1. Who you got?51:17 Final Thoughts

    52 min

  8. 26/04/2025

    Two Milwaukee Bucks Fans Panic! + NBA Playoff Check-in

    You gotta lose 2 for it to be Bucks in 6... right? 😢Two Bucks fans get real about whats up with the team (and what Doc is doing to destroy this team), before checking out the rest of the league, and chatting about the home court advantages, Steph still being Steph, "fights" coming back, and what AI is saying will be the NBA Finals this year. They also look at the Lakers vs Timberwolves, Knicks and Detroit Home Court advantage, and do the Clippers cheat to add noise to their stadium. Find out on this episode of HoopatheticalsChapters00:00 Introduction to the NBA Playoffs01:28 Heat Check: Steph Curry03:49 Heat Check: Home Crowds (Knicks, Clippers, Detroit)05:42 Heat Check: Joe Mazzoula06:46 Heat Check: Fights in the First Round09:49 Heat Check: Veterans vs Young Guns (Lakers v Wolves, Warriors v Rockets)12:10 Bucks vs Pacers: Grieving + Series Analysis14:57 Offensive Strategies and Adjustments16:37 Diagnosing the Bucks Problems: Doc Rivers and Coaching18:47 The Problems on Offence20:50 Thoughts on the Bucks' Chances21:54 Missing Khris Middleton and Thanasis22:59 General Milwaukee Bucks Grieving28:44 Coaching Frustrations: Doc Rivers vs. Mike "Bud" Budenholzer31:55 Positive Shots Fired: 1st Team "Needs More Minutes"39:57 Rhyme Out: A Poetic Take on the NBA40:54 A Poem for the Milwaukee Bucks43:27 An Ode to Glenn "Doc" Rivers 45:08 NBA Conspiracy: NBA Script Leak?! NBA Finals '25 Matchup According to AI46:51 Agent Cody Bank: Securing the Bag for Mike Malone49:24 Agent Cody Bank: Darryl Morey51:29 Playoff Predictions: Dark Horses and Exciting Matchups

    53 min
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About

A comedy NBA podcast hosted by comedian Jez F.M and hot-take machine Thom Nixon. It has been voted as the NBA podcast with the highest joke-to-sound-effect podcast on the internet, so sit back, relax and enjoy unhinged takes about the NBA.

Information

  • Creator
    Jez F.M & Thom Nixon
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2025
  • Episodes
    53
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Jez F.M & Thom Nixon
  • Show Website
    Hoopatheticals