You Are Not Crazy

Jessica Knight
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You’re exhausted from over-functioning, always managing the chaos just to make it seem okay. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you. Your friends don’t get it. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you're the problem. You're not. I understand—because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, gaslit into silence, and walking on eggshells every day. This podcast is here to help you feel seen. To help you make sense of the confusion. To show you that you're not crazy—and you're not alone. Whether you’re navigating narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, or post-separation control, you’ll find clarity, validation, and language for what’s actually happening. This is your space to reclaim your truth and begin healing—on your terms. 🖤 Learn more and find resources at www.emotionalabusecoach.com

  1. 2 DAYS AGO

    The “Nice” Version Isn’t Proof They’ve Changed

    They’re kind again… so does that mean they’ve changed? In this episode, we unpack why the “nice” version is part of the abuse cycle — and how to tell the difference between real change and a calculated reset. One of the most confusing parts of an emotionally abusive relationship is when the cruelty suddenly stops — and the “nice” version of the person shows up. Maybe they’re warmer, calmer, even kind for a while. You start to wonder… are they finally changing? Was I wrong about the abuse? In this episode, I break down why that “nice” version isn’t separate from the abuse — it’s part of the cycle. We’ll explore how kindness can be used as a tactic, why it often appears when you’re pulling away or setting boundaries, and how intermittent reinforcement keeps you hooked in the trauma bond. Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    15 min

  2. 10 SEPT

    From Love Bombing to Losing Myself — and Finding My Way Back

    n this raw and validating conversation, fitness expert and former pro athlete Holly Rilinger shares her first public telling of the emotional abuse she endured inside a long-term relationship that looked perfect on the outside. Holly opens up about how the relationship began with admiration and love bombing, then slowly eroded her confidence, identity, and sense of self. From subtle criticisms about her appearance to the complete absence of repair after conflict, she found herself living in constant fatigue, self-doubt, and silence — all while running a successful fitness business and motivating others to feel strong in their own skin. The discussion unpacks the patterns of narcissistic abuse, the manufactured discard, the loss of identity, and the physical toll of living in fight-or-flight for years. Holly reflects on the moment a friend finally witnessed the behavior, how she began waking up to the truth, and the small ways she’s reclaiming her body, voice, and power in the seven months since leaving. If you’ve ever questioned your reality in a relationship that looked “fine” to the outside world but felt like slow erasure on the inside, Holly’s story will remind you that you’re not crazy — and that healing is possible. You can follow Holly here: https://www.theliftedmethodcoaching.com/ Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    57 min

  3. 3 SEPT

    Am I Overreacting?

    Most survivors don’t start by asking “Is this abuse?” They ask “Why do I feel crazy?” This episode dives deep into the emotional confusion that defines so many abusive dynamics—especially when gaslighting, blame-shifting, and chronic invalidation are at play. If you’ve ever found yourself apologizing after being hurt, doubting your memory, or shrinking yourself to avoid their reactions, you’re not alone—and you’re not overreacting. We’ll explore: How emotional abuse trains you to question your realityThe difference between lying and gaslighting—and why the distinction mattersSubtle red flags that keep you stuck in self-blameThe questions that help you reconnect with your truthThis episode is here to help you name the thing you haven’t been able to name, and to remind you: confusion is a tactic.  Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    13 min

  4. 27 AUG

    When It Was Never About Change: Understanding the Psychology Behind Cluster B Abuse

    Dr. Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the most confusing and painful parts of surviving a relationship with someone who has Cluster B traits, including narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders. We explore: The neurological and psychological reasons why people with Cluster B disorders don’t changeWhy survivors feel crazy, confused, and exhausted—and why that’s by designHow splitting, emotional dysregulation, and weaponized remorse show up in real relationshipsThe difference between low capacity and emotional immaturity vs. willful abuseHow to tell if the “person you miss” was ever real—or just the hookWhy grief work is essential when letting go of the fantasy version of who you thought they wereDr. Kerry offers insight from both her clinical background and lived experience. If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why won’t they change?” or “Was any of it real?”—this episode will help you understand why the answer is more devastating and liberating than you thought. Learn more about Dr. Kerry McAvoy’s work and grab her book Love You More at kerrymcavoyphd.com. To join her Toxic-Free Relationship Club Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    58 min

  5. 20 AUG

    Breaking the Trauma Bond

    I’m sharing one of the most requested and emotionally charged topics: the trauma bond. This episode is part of my private podcast series Unhooked: Mapping the Cycle of Abuse, and I felt it was important to bring it here too—for anyone who’s stuck in the pain, confusion, or shame of staying in a relationship they know is harming them. We explore why trauma bonds form, how they keep you hooked, and what it takes to begin breaking free. This isn’t just about naming abuse—it’s about understanding how your nervous system got wired for survival in an environment where love and harm coexist. Inside this episode: What a trauma bond actually is (and how it’s different from love)Why your body clings to the person who hurts youSigns you might be trauma bondedWhy it feels impossible to leave—even when you know the truthWhat happens during withdrawal after leavingHow to start untangling yourself, one step at a timeThe myth of mutual abuse and why blaming yourself keeps you stuckThis conversation comes directly from Unhooked, my in-depth series designed to help you map your personal cycle of abuse, reconnect to your clarity, and take back your power. If what you hear in this episode resonates, I invite you to join me inside the full series. 🧠 Learn more about Unhooked at emotionalabusecoach.com Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    14 min

  6. 13 AUG

    Healing a Trauma Bond: The Power You Still Have

    Trauma Bonding—a term that’s often misunderstood and sometimes avoided because naming it means facing the abuse beneath it. In this episode, I break down what a trauma bond is (and isn’t), why it’s more than “shared trauma,” and how it functions as an emotional and physical addiction. Then, we talk about something that might feel uncomfortable: the places where you do have control once you’ve recognized you’re trauma bonded. I cover: The truth about intermittent reinforcement and why it keeps you hookedWhy naming a trauma bond matters for healingHow to treat it like an addiction without shaming yourselfSmall, doable ways to create space and reclaim your powerHow to stop looping on them and start focusing on youResources & Links: Join the Patreon: Exclusive bonus content, Q&A, unreleased material —  https://patreon.com/YouarenotcrazyTrauma Bonding Playlist: Every episode I’ve recorded on this topic — https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6iOynoEO7SelaOTe2yzne0?si=CvyvQYn9QWutSgYAJmG-8w&pi=o4AQRKjrQ_mh5 Coaching & Support: emotionalabusecoach.comSupport the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    18 min

  7. 6 AUG

    Whose Shame Are You Carrying? How Abusers Offload Pain to Avoid Accountability

    This episode explores one of the most insidious aspects of emotional abuse: shame offloading.  When someone can’t face their own emotional wounds—whether it’s failure, inadequacy, or internal contradictions—they often project that pain onto the person closest to them.  You become the emotional scapegoat, the one who’s blamed, punished, or humiliated—not because you did something wrong, but because they can’t sit with their own discomfort. I walk through how this dynamic shows up in abusive relationships, how it fractures your sense of safety and self, and why the nervous system starts to adapt to the abuse as a form of survival.  I explore how abusers develop internal scripts to justify their behavior, how survivors unconsciously internalize those scripts, and what it takes to start breaking that pattern. Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    27 min

  8. 30 JUL

    Why Abusers Believe Their Own Lies with Paul Colaianni

    Why do emotionally abusive people double down on false narratives, deny reality, and convince themselves they’re the victim—even when they’re causing visible harm? I'm joined by Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse podcasts and creator of The Healed Being program, one of the few resources for people who have been emotionally abusive and genuinely want to change. We unpack one of the most confusing dynamics in abusive relationships: the distorted thinking that abusers use to justify their behavior and the self-protective systems that keep them from taking accountability. We cover: Why abusers truly believe their own version of realityThe psychology of self-righteousness, control, and emotional arroganceHow survivors internalize blame and begin to question their own kindnessThe painful tipping point between self-sacrifice and self-protectionWhat real change actually looks like—and why it often comes after the survivor walks awayResources mentioned: The Mean Workbook by Paul Colaianni: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.gumroad.com/l/jkSoJessica’s Boundaries Deep Dive + 1:1 Validation Calls: emotionalabusecoach.comThe Unhooked Private Podcast & Course on the Cycle of Abuse: https://jessicaknight.thinkific.com/courses/unhookedWork with me:  emotionalabusecoach.com highconflictdivorcecoaching.com Subscribe to my Substack:  jessicaknightcoaching.substack.com Support the show Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist {Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal {Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

    1h 12m
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About

You’re exhausted from over-functioning, always managing the chaos just to make it seem okay. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you. Your friends don’t get it. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you're the problem. You're not. I understand—because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, gaslit into silence, and walking on eggshells every day. This podcast is here to help you feel seen. To help you make sense of the confusion. To show you that you're not crazy—and you're not alone. Whether you’re navigating narcissistic abuse, trauma bonding, or post-separation control, you’ll find clarity, validation, and language for what’s actually happening. This is your space to reclaim your truth and begin healing—on your terms. 🖤 Learn more and find resources at www.emotionalabusecoach.com

Information

  • Creator
    Jessica Knight
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2025
  • Episodes
    209
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 You Are Not Crazy
  • Show Website
    You Are Not Crazy

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