Be A Better You

Allison K. Dagney

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before.

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    Ep 211: The ‘Ick’ That Won’t Go Away: Emotional Residue After Toxic Relationships.

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever felt like you’ve done the work to move on from a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship—but something still lingers—this episode is for you. In this powerful conversation, we’re breaking down the “ick” that won’t go away… the emotional residue that stays in your thoughts, your body, and your sense of self long after the relationship has ended. You’ll learn why healing from emotional abuse isn’t just about time or mindset, but about understanding how your brain and nervous system adapted to survive the relationship. We talk about why you still second-guess yourself, replay conversations, and feel disconnected from who you used to be—and why that doesn’t mean you’re stuck or broken. This episode will help you understand the root cause of rumination, self-doubt, and emotional triggers, while giving you a new perspective on what it actually takes to heal at a deeper level. If you’re ready to stop trying to “move on” and start feeling like yourself again, this is the missing piece. ✨ My new book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart: A Trauma-Informed Path to Healing from Emotional Abuse, is available April 21st on Amazon and will guide you step-by-step through the process of rewiring the patterns that keep you stuck. Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    27 min
  2. 31 MAR

    Ep 210: Why Smart People Stay in Toxic Relationships

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, How did I stay so long when I knew something wasn’t right? In this episode, we’re unpacking a powerful truth that many people struggle to admit: intelligence does not protect you from toxic relationships. In fact, the very qualities that make someone thoughtful, capable, and self-aware can sometimes keep them stuck longer. We explore why smart, self-aware people often stay in unhealthy or emotionally abusive relationships, including how empathy, problem-solving, overanalysis, and a deep desire to understand others can unintentionally keep you trapped in difficult dynamics. You’ll learn how the brain’s need for explanation, closure, and resolution can create powerful mental and emotional loops, and why understanding the relationship isn’t always enough to break free from it. In this episode, we discuss: • Why intelligent, capable people stay in toxic or emotionally abusive relationships • The role of subconscious programming and attachment patterns • How overthinking and analysis can keep you stuck in relationship loops • Why intermittent reinforcement makes toxic dynamics so hard to leave • The difference between understanding your patterns and actually changing them • How to start identifying the deeper beliefs and emotional patterns that keep pulling you back If you’ve ever struggled with rumination after a breakup, emotional abuse recovery, toxic relationship patterns, or trusting yourself again, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface. We’ll also touch on ideas from my upcoming book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, where I explain how subconscious patterns shape the way we think, react, and stay stuck in relationship cycles—and what it actually takes to interrupt those patterns so you can move forward with clarity and self-trust. If you’re ready to stop overanalyzing the past and start changing the patterns that keep repeating it, this episode is for you. Keywords: toxic relationships, emotional abuse recovery, why smart people stay in toxic relationships, trauma bonding, rumination after breakup, relationship psychology, subconscious patterns, narcissistic relationships, healing after emotional abuse, overthinking relationships, break toxic relationship patterns, trust yourself again, personal growth podcast. Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    17 min
  3. 26 MAR

    Bonus EP: You Have a Story… So Why Haven’t You Told It Yet? Guest Author Heather Hutzel

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever thought, “I could write a book about my life…” but don’t know where to start—this episode is for you. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with author and storytelling coach Heather Hutzel, who has written over 20 books and spent the last two decades mastering the art of storytelling. We dive into what actually makes a story compelling—not just something that happened, but something people feel and can’t put down. Heather breaks down the hero’s journey, the biggest mistakes new writers make, and why most people stay stuck before they ever begin. We also talk about how to turn personal pain into something meaningful—without getting lost in it. At the beginning of the episode, Heather shares a deeply vulnerable story of loss that shaped her path as a writer. And by the end, she reveals the most important thing you need to focus on if you truly want to bring your story into the world. If you’re a survivor, a healer, or someone who knows there’s a story inside of you waiting to be told—this episode will show you how to start. 🎧 In this episode, you’ll learn: Why most people never finish writing their storyThe biggest mistakes new authors make (and how to avoid them)What actually makes a story engaging and unforgettableHow the hero’s journey applies to your real lifeWhere to start when you feel overwhelmed or unsureThe one thing that matters most when telling your storyThis isn’t about writing a perfect book.  It’s about finally telling the truth of your life in a way that lands. JOIN HEATHER'S WORKSHOP: https://hrhutzel.store/products/threshold-workshop Contact Heather: https://www.hrhutzel.com/ Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    56 min
  4. 24 MAR

    Ep: 209 Co-Rumination: The Healing Habit That’s Secretly Hurting You

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Venting can feel good in the moment—but what if constantly talking about your pain is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden dangers of co-rumination—the cycle of repeatedly discussing problems, betrayal, stress, or emotional wounds with others in a way that reinforces pain instead of helping you heal. While validation and support are important, constantly rehashing the same experiences can strengthen rumination loops, increase anxiety, and train your brain to keep searching for more evidence of the hurt. You’ll learn how co-rumination affects your mental health, nervous system, and even physical well-being, why it can create an addictive cycle of temporary relief, and how it can quietly halt your healing after emotional abuse or difficult relationships. We’ll also talk about something most people never consider: how therapy sessions, coaching, or conversations with friends can unintentionally become co-rumination if the focus stays on repeating the story rather than creating real movement and change. Inside this episode, you’ll discover: • What co-rumination is and why it feels so validating • How repeated venting can strengthen rumination and emotional loops • The role of the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) in keeping you focused on pain • The mental and physical health impacts of constantly reliving stressful experiences • Signs your therapist, coach, or support system may be reinforcing the loop • Practical ways to set boundaries, shift beliefs, and interrupt the cycle If you’ve ever felt stuck replaying conversations, overanalyzing the past, or needing to vent about the same issue over and over just to get relief, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do instead. We’ll also touch on ideas from my upcoming book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, where I break down how subconscious patterns, rumination, and repetition shape the way we think, feel, and react—and how to interrupt those loops so real healing can begin. If you’re ready to stop rehearsing pain and start creating real change, this episode is for you. Keywords: co-rumination, rumination, emotional abuse recovery, trauma healing, toxic relationships, nervous system healing, overthinking, venting addiction, mental health, subconscious patterns, stop rumination, relationship trauma, healing after abuse, personal growth podcast. BOOK LIST: www.allisonkdagney.com Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    52 min
  5. 17 MAR

    Ep 208: Your Spicy Brain Is Not Broken: How to Work With Your Mind, Rewire Your Beliefs, and Become Unstoppable

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond In this powerful episode of The Be a Better You Podcast, we dive deep into neurodivergence, neuroplasticity, and what it truly means to work with your brain instead of against it — especially when you're recovering from emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, or toxic relationships that made you believe something was fundamentally wrong with you. What we cover: What neurodivergence really means — and why it may describe far more of us than traditional diagnoses suggestThe little-known facts about ADHD, executive dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation that nobody talks aboutWhy survivors of narcissistic abuse and emotional abuse often experience patterns that look and feel neurodivergent — and what that means for your healingThe neuroscience of neural plasticity: how your brain can literally rewire itself at any age, and why recovery is not just possible — it's biologicalA real listener story (T's story) about freezing, overwhelm, and the panic of trying to build new habits after years of survivingThe one question that can unlock your ability to take action and finally follow throughA practical, evidence-based method for shifting the limiting beliefs installed by narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and chronic self-doubtTools for ADHD brains, anxious brains, and trauma-conditioned brains to regulate, start, and complete Whether you have a formal diagnosis of ADHD, autism, or another neurodivergent condition — or you simply feel like your brain works differently and nobody has ever explained why — this episode will normalize your experience, validate your struggle, and give you a real, science-backed path forward. If you've been told you're "too much," "too scattered," "too sensitive," or "not capable of following through," this episode is your answer. Narcissistic abusers and emotional abusers often weaponize the way our minds work. Today, we take that back. Topics: emotional abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery, neurodivergence, ADHD and emotional abuse, neural plasticity, brain rewiring, limiting beliefs, habit building with ADHD, executive dysfunction, trauma and the brain, healing from toxic relationships, self-worth after narcissistic abuse, nervous system regulation, belief reprogramming, be a better you emotional abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse, neurodivergence, ADHD, neural plasticity, brain rewiring, limiting beliefs, trauma recovery, executive dysfunction, habit building, nervous system regulation, toxic relationships, healing, self-worth, belief reprogramming Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    35 min
  6. 10 MAR

    Ep 207: “Who Do You Think You Are?” - Getting Out of Imposter Syndrome

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Imposter syndrome after emotional abuse looks like doubting your memory. Minimizing what happened. Feeling dramatic for having boundaries. Questioning whether it was “really that bad.” In this episode, we unpack how emotional abuse and trauma conditioning create deep self-doubt — and why you feel like an imposter in your own story. You’ll learn: • How other people's voices rewire your perception • Why people-pleasing fuels imposter syndrome • Hidden beliefs keeping you stuck in self-doubt • Practical steps to interrupt the Imposter Voice (aka ego) This episode will help you understand what’s actually happening inside your nervous system — and how to stop allowing the imposter to keep you from being your best self.  Healing from emotional abuse requires more than mindset shifts. It requires breaking the self-doubt loop at the root and taking aligned action to reinforce the beliefs that serve you well.  Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    39 min
  7. 3 MAR

    Episode 206: Why You Thought You Were Crazy in Your Relationship (But You Weren’t)

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Have you ever walked away from a relationship wondering how you became so confused, reactive, or unsure of yourself? In this episode, we unpack why so many emotionally intelligent, self-aware people end up questioning their own reality in unhealthy relationships—and why that doesn’t mean anything was wrong with you. You’ll learn how emotional inconsistency, mixed signals, and subtle invalidation can slowly erode self-trust, leading you to internalize beliefs like “I’m too sensitive” or “I can’t trust my perception.” We’ll explore gentle belief shifts—asking what else might be possible—and how confusion is often a nervous-system response, not a personal failure. If you’ve ever replayed conversations, doubted your memory, or felt like you lost yourself trying to make sense of someone else’s behavior, this episode will help you reconnect with clarity and self-trust. You’ll also hear how identifying the beliefs formed in these dynamics can be a powerful first step toward healing, and where to go if you’re ready to interrupt the loop at the root. Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    42 min
  8. 24 FEB

    Episode 205: Reinforcement Strategies to Break the Trauma Bond

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond In this episode of the "Be A Better You Podcast," we're diving deeper into the journey of breaking trauma bonds, offering advanced strategies and practical tools for healing. Building on  discussions about identifying and challenging harmful beliefs, this episode focuses on actionable steps to reprogram the mind, foster self-compassion, and establish healthy boundaries. We'll begin by exploring specific techniques for reprogramming the mind, such as using affirmations and positive self-talk to replace negative beliefs, engaging in visualization exercises to imagine a future free from trauma bonds, and utilizing journaling prompts to uncover and challenge deep-seated beliefs. These practices help reshape your thought patterns, making it easier to let go of the past and embrace a healthier mindset. Next, we'll discuss the importance of self-compassion in the healing process. By incorporating mindfulness and meditation practices, you can connect with your inner self and cultivate a compassionate self-dialogue. Establishing regular self-care rituals will further nurture your mind, body, and spirit, helping you build resilience and strength. Setting healthy boundaries is another crucial aspect of breaking trauma bonds. Protecting yourself from further harm and fostering healthy relationships is essential for long-term healing. Join us for this episode as we dive into these advanced strategies and provide you with the tools and resources needed to accelerate your journey to freedom and reclaim your life. Support the show To learn more about my Programs visit the website www.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Free 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women  GET YOUR FREE AUDIO To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebook https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

    22 min

About

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before.

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