115 episodes

What if Dear Abby was an investigative reporter? Each week on How To!, Amanda Ripley (bestselling author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, The Unthinkable, and The Smartest Kids in the World) takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask, but couldn’t. Until now.

How To‪!‬ Slate Magazine

    • Education

What if Dear Abby was an investigative reporter? Each week on How To!, Amanda Ripley (bestselling author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, The Unthinkable, and The Smartest Kids in the World) takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask, but couldn’t. Until now.

    How To Crack Your Kid Like a CIA Operative

    How To Crack Your Kid Like a CIA Operative

    Every kid sneaks a cookie from the cookie jar, but Jamie’s 8 year-old daughter Simone has taken it to the next level. If you look under her pillow or in the back of her closet, you’ll find stashes of candy wrappers and other illicit items. When confronted, Simone never cracks under pressure. Jamie is worried that if this behavior isn’t stopped soon, Simone will grow up to be a “supervillain.” On this episode of How To!, we bring on Christina and Ryan Hillsberg, authors of License to Parent: How My Career As a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids. They draw on their years of experience at the CIA to help Jamie figure out how to handle Simone’s sly behavior. Is there any way to harness it for good? Christina and Ryan give Jamie a crash course in building trust and influencing people without them realizing it.
    If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Convince People to Give You Money.” 
    Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
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    • 35 min
    How To Live With a Dirty Family Secret

    How To Live With a Dirty Family Secret

    Usually when something enters Rachel’s parents’ home, it never leaves. Growing up, Rachel and her siblings tried to clean out the growing piles of junk, but her mom would often dig into the trash to retrieve whatever was tossed. Rachel finally escaped her parent’s over-stuffed house but she still worries about their safety and quality of life. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessie Sholl, author of Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding. She knows what it’s like to spend hours decluttering a house teeming with stuff, only to have it come back with a vengeance. Many of us will eventually have to parent our parents, but how do you handle such an extreme case? Jessie explains that hoarding is a mental illness and advises Rachel on how to find agency in a situation that feels so helpless. 
    If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Avoid Becoming Your Mother.”
    Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
    Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.
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    • 32 min
    How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

    How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

    Have you ever had to make an impossible decision? One that doesn’t have an obvious “right” answer. One that someone will inevitably hate. John knows this feeling all too well. He’s the superintendent for a mid-size school district in California. To say the last school year was difficult is a major understatement… John tried to ensure the safety of his students, teachers, and faculty while balancing the reality of students struggling in their virtual classes. Throughout the school year, John’s relationship with his teachers and the teachers union deteriorated. Now, classes are back in session and he’s hoping to find common ground as soon as possible. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Gary Friedman, a world-renowned conflict mediator. He has some tips on how all of us can mend a fraught relationship before it’s too late. 
    If you liked this episode, check out “How To Stand Up to Your Terrible Manager—Without Getting Fired.”
    Do you have a problem you can’t get out of your head? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
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    • 38 min
    How To Beat Your Hidden Biases

    How To Beat Your Hidden Biases

    Do you think of yourself as a “good” person? Most of us do. You probably show others kindness and respect—no matter their age, gender, sexuality, or race, right? But our unconscious biases are often more powerful than we realize. In fact, mountains of evidence show the extent to which implicit bias is ingrained in our police departments, doctor’s offices and hiring committees, often to the detriment of marginalized groups. Our listener this week, Tim, has spent a lot of time thinking about his privilege as a cisgender white man and how it affects his work and his community. While he believes he no longer harbors any conscious prejudice, he’s still struggling to uncover and combat his implicit biases. On this episode of How To!, guest host Celeste Headlee talks with Mahzarin Banaji, a psychologist at Harvard and the author of Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People. She has some tips on how to interrogate our gut feelings and consciously change the way we see people who are different from us. 
    If you liked this episode, check out “How To Fight Racism in Your Town.” 
    Do you have a problem you can’t get out of your head? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
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    • 34 min
    How To Repair a Broken Relationship Before It's Too Late

    How To Repair a Broken Relationship Before It's Too Late

    It’s painful for Barbara to think back on her son Ethan’s childhood. For years Ethan was caught between feuding parents until, one day, Ethan went to live with his dad and never came back. Barbara regrets not fighting harder for her son or at least communicating better. Now she wants to ask for a second chance before it’s too late—but isn’t sure how to go about it. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we continue with Amy Baker, a developmental psychologist who specializes in restoring family connections between parents and adult children. Amy helps Barbara recall specific memories as she writes a letter of amends, paragraph by paragraph, in an attempt to open Ethan’s heart. 
    If you liked this episode, check out “How To Reconnect with Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce,” the first in our two-part series.
    Do you have a problem you can’t get out of your head? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
    Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 37 min
    How To Reconnect with Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce

    How To Reconnect with Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce

    Barbara survived a divorce so brutal that she refers to it as ‘The War of the Roses.’ Perhaps the most painful casualty was the severing of her relationship with her son, Ethan. Decades have passed and Ethan is now married with kids of his own, who Barbara adores. But due to their chilly, distant relationship, Barbara doesn’t get to see them as much as she’d like. Can Barbara repair their broken relationship before it’s too late? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Amy Baker, a developmental psychologist who specializes in restoring family connections between parents and adult children. She has a specific method for writing a letter of amends that, more often than not, can lead to a breakthrough. 
    If you liked this episode, check out “How To Walk Away From an Impossible Parent.”
    Do you have a problem you can’t get out of your head? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
    Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.
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    • 33 min

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