308 episodes
Dear Shandy Sharleen Joynt & Andy Levine
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- Society & Culture
Dear Shandy is a dating advice podcast where Sharleen Joynt and her husband Andy Levine answer your burning relationship questions from the perspective of a happily married couple. Sharleen and Andy are two fiercely independent people who are skeptical of love stories and don’t believe in fate, soulmates, or The One. So how did they wind up so happily married? They learned the dating lessons by living them.
Get no-holds-barred, honest advice from two people who actually have what you want: a fun, blissful partnership. But there's more! As an iconic former Bachelor contestant, Sharleen invites Bachelor Nation couples on for intimate double dates called Love Fests. Last, but certainly not least, Sharleen brings her insider knowledge and Andy delivers hilarious comic relief to combine for what are hands down the best Bachelor recaps in the business. New episodes drop every Thursday, and during Bachelor seasons, recaps drop on Tuesdays!
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Heal Your Attachment Pattern With Eli Harwood, Aka @AttachmentNerd - Ep 308
Attachment Styles are at the core of SO many relationship dynamics yet so few of us know much beyond "secure", "anxious", and "avoidant". Isn't it about time we learned WHY we behave the way we do so we can learn how to stop getting in our own way?
We're thrilled today to be joined by Eli Harwood, aka @attachmentnerd , therapist, author, and attachment theory expert! Eli has amassed a massive following on Instagram with her attachment expertise and analysis. She is the author of "Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns Into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships" and the upcoming "Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting To Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience", so we could not be in better hands!
Today Eli breaks down those famed Attachment Patterns (spoiler alert: there's WAY more to this than secure, anxious, and avoidant!) and how and why we as adults behave the way we do in our relationships. (As Andy puts it at one point, Attachment is "EVERYTHING"!) We learn how much of a role gender plays, why some of us are different in platonic vs romantic relationships, and how much is nature vs nurture. There are also parenting questions for our caregiver Shandies out there! Shandy also gets personal with their own experiences that have shaped their own attachment patterns. Finally, the big question: HOW DO WE HEAL? Eli has the answers you've been waiting for and manages to deliver them in the most relatable and easy-to-understand way. As Shandy puts it, you just might see your childhood flash before your eyes! Listen on for a masterclass in YOURSELF. 🤯
Thank you to our sponsors!
- Go to https://www.babbel.com/DEARSHANDY to save up to 60% off your subscription!
- Go to https://www.shopbeam.com/SHANDY and use code SHANDY at checkout for up to 40% off!
- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use our code SHANDY to get your first visit for only five dollars!
- Go to https://quince.com/SHANDY for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns!
- Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SHANDY for 10% off your first website or domain!
More Eli Harwood, Aka Attachment Nerd:
- Books: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/series/0DV/attachment-nerd/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd
- Website: https://attachmentnerd.com
Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome To Eli Harwood, Aka @AttachmentNerd!
3:20 - What Is Attachment Theory?
6:21 - Can I Have More Than One Attachment Style?
9:48 - Attachment Pattern Breakdown
20:38 - Are Our Attachment Styles Set In Stone?
22:43 - Where Or How Do We Heal These Wounds?
26:32 - More Attachment Pattern Breakdown
31:39 - Can I Have BOTH Polar Opposite Attachment Styles?
34:21 - Does The Caregiver’s Gender Matter?
34:31 - How Much Is Nurture Vs Nature?
36:47 - Is There A Connection Between Which Caregiver And Which Type Of Adult Relationship (Eg. Romantic Vs Platonic) ?
38:38 - Shandy Asks Questions For “Friends”
43:23 - Where Does Attachment Rank In Terms Of Difficulty To Change?
45:53 - Is Finding Your “People” A Form Of Healing?
46:28 - Does The Anxious-Avoidant Romantic Dynamic Ever Work? At What Point Is It Not “Worth It”?
57:51 - Tips For Anxious Types When They Spiral In The Wrong Direction
1:02:44 - How To Know If A Child Is Securely Attached
1:04:56 - How Self Aware Is The Parent Who Even Asks These Questions?
1:07:24 - Is Your Grief As Bad As You Think It Is?
1:07:43 - 4 Steps For Raising Securely Attached Kids
1:11:00 - Andy Plays Devil’s Advocate
1:15:36 - What If Your Child Is Behaving Inappropriately?
1:19:39 - Shandy Debrief
If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
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Q&A! Responding To Stupid Questions, Friend-less Fiancé, & To Wed Or Not To Wed? - Ep 307
It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! Is marriage necessary, or even at all what it's cracked up to be? If your partner struggles in the friendship department, how can you help? How should you respond to a question you hate being asked? And finally, an epic Am-I-The-Asshole question! Where does Shandy stand on unintentional door slamming? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take!
Thanks to our sponsors!
- Go to https://jennikayne.com and use code DEARSHANDY to get 15% off your first order!
- Go to https://www.earthbreeze.com/SHANDY for 40% off!
- Go to https://www.cozyearth.com:/SHANDY and use promo code SHANDY to save 35%!
- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY for an additional 15% off!
- Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/DEARSHANDY to get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase!
Time Stamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:40 - Q1: To Marry Or Not To Marry?
9:11 - Q2: I Feel Weird Contributing To My Friend’s “Honey Fund” As A Wedding Gift—Thoughts?
18:06 - Q3: Strangers Constantly Ask Me A Question I Hate—How Should I Respond?
31:58 - Q4: My Fiancé Has No Friends—How Can I Help Him?
48:45 - Q5: Am I The Asshole—Door Slamming Edition
If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy
Follow us!
Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Caller 📞 Session! "Is My Relationship Worth Saving?" - Ep 306
Caller sessions are BACK, baby! This is our SECOND Caller episode of 2024 (!) and we're thrilled we're joined by a lovely (and lively!) caller named Erin. Erin, whose relationship began with beautifully romantic gesture. However, 2+ months in, there are still kinks that need ironing. Erin is quick to defend her boyfriend, but when are excuses just... excuses? Listen on for the Shandy take!
Thanks to our sponsors!
- Go to https://www.lomi.com/SHANDY and use promo code SHANDY at checkout to save $50!
- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use our code SHANDY to get your first visit for only five dollars!
- Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SHANDY for 10% off your first website or domain!
- Go to https://www.rocketmoney.com/SHANDY to save money and cancel unwanted subscriptions the easy way!
- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!
Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome To Caller Erin!
42:39 - Shandy Debrief
If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
Subscribe - https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy
Listen on iTunes - https://bit.ly/DearShandyiTunes
More Dear Shandy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy
More Sharleen
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com
More Andy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine
Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion
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We're Officiants! Officiating Nick & Natalie Joy Viall's Wedding - Ep 305
This episode is a surprise all around because Shandy had absolutely zero intention of recapping their experience officiating their friends' wedding. However, on Instagram you requested this with a fiery passion that couldn't be ignored! So today is all about Shandy as WEDDING OFFICIANTS!
As you may know, on Saturday April 26th, 2024, Shandy officiated the wedding of Nick Viall and Natalie Joy, their longtime friends. This episode will contain reflections on the experience, tips (and regrets!) for those planning their own weddings/officiant speeches, unexpected moments, and overall takeaways! Listen on for this unique Dear Shandy episode!
Thanks to our sponsors!
- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!
- Go to https://www.skims.com/SHANDY and get free shipping on orders over $75!
- Go to https://www.factormeals.com/SHANDY50 and use code SHANDY50 to get 50% off!
- Go to https://prose.com/DEARSHANDY for 50% off your first subscription order today!
- Go to https://www.drinkAG1.com/DEARSHANDY to get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase!
0:00 - Introduction
2:37 - How/When Did Nick & Natalie Ask You To Be Officiants?
5:58 - How Did You Make The Decision To Officiate As A Couple?
6:10 - Was One Of You The “Official” Officiant?
8:13 - Would You Have Accepted For Any Couple In Your Life Or Only A “Special” Couple?
9:05 - How Did You Prepare?
11:27 - What Sort Of Planning Did You Do With The Couple?
14:50 - Humor
17:20 - How Much Did You Share With The Couple Beforehand?
17:43 - Have Either Of You Ever Officiated A Wedding Before?
17:47 - Since You’ve Known Nick Longer Was It Difficult To Make It Feel Equally Personal For Natalie?
18:59 - Were You Nervous? Who Was More Nervous?
22:55 - Overall Tips/Regrets
25:31 - Did It Make You Nostalgic For Your Own Wedding?
28:58 - Do You Feel More Responsible To Stay Together Now?
29:38 - Can Shandy Officiate My Wedding?
30:40 - How Did You Enter The Ceremony?
30:58 - The Couple’s Vows
31:07 - Unexpected Moment
33:05 - Was The Baby A Part Of The Ceremony?
33:23 - Did Nick Cry?
34:08 - Did You Cry?
35:06 - How Are You Friends With Nick?
38:28 - Did You Ride The Mechanical Bull?
39:09 - Was There Anyone Who Made You Starstruck?
40:22 - Did They Tell You What To Wear?
40:47 - Sharleen’s Looks
44:04 - Did You Bring Ruby?
44:50 - People Article Misspellings
46:44 - What Was Your Favorite Things About Savannah?
48:02 - Overall Thoughts
If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy
Follow us!
Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
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Q&A! Too Much Complaining, The Seed Of Resentment & Is "Boring" Healthy? - Ep 304
It's Q&A time! We're back, answering YOUR burning questions! If you have a tumultuous relationship history, is "boring" maybe a good thing? If you feel yourself becoming resentful in your relationship because your sacrifices outnumber your partner's, what to do? And not one, not two, but THREE heavy-hitting platonic friendship questions! What does Shandy consider a "friendship-reconsidering" level crime? Come join us in our living room for the Shandy take!
Thanks to our sponsors!
- Go to https://www.FastGrowingTrees.com and use code SHANDY at checkout for an additional 15% off!
- Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/SHANDY and download the ZocDoc app for FREE!
- Go to https://www.earthbreeze.com/SHANDY for 40% off!
- Go to https://quince.com/shandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns!
- Go to https://www.apostrophe.com/SHANDY and use our code SHANDY to get your first visit for only five dollars!
Time Stamps:
0:00 - Q1: Does Healthy = Boring?
10:35 - Q2: My Friend Accused Me Of “Bitching & Complaining” And Our Friendship Is Suddenly Over—What Happened?!
23:50 - Q3: My Friend Moved Out Of Town And Now Zoom-Joins Our In-Person Hangs—Am I The A*****e For Disliking This?
33:46 - Q4: Should I Let My Friend’s Outrageous Wedding Request Make Me See Her Differently?
46:03 - Q5: I’ve Sacrificed More For This Relationship Than My Boyfriend Has And Am Feeling Resentful—Help!
If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
Subscribe and watch the episodes on YouTube! https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy
Follow us!
Dear Shandy - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy
Sharleen Joynt - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt
Andy Levine - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
The Genius Of Empathy With Dr. Judith Orloff - Ep 303
At the heart of so many relationship questions we've received—and relationships in general—is a common thread: EMPATHY. This "healing force", as our esteemed guest calls it, has the power to not only heal our relationships with others, but with ourselves. So why do so few of us understand its powers?
Today we're honored to be joined by THE foremost expert on empathy, Dr. Judith Orloff, dubbed “the godmother of the empath movement.” Dr. Orloff is a board-certified psychiatrist and the New York Times best-selling author of several books, including 2017's landmark "The Empath’s Survival Guide" and her latest, "The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Your Sensitive Self, Your Relationships, and the World". Today she helps dispel the misconceptions around empathy, demonstrates how to draw healthy boundaries, and explains the transformative, healing power of SELF-empathy. She explains why it's OK that your partner isn't the same empathy "type" as you, whether or not you can have too much empathy, and how to approach someone whose beliefs you fundamentally disagree with. Today's conversation is the warm hug you needed and will hopefully inspire healing in your more complicated relationships, especially the one you have with yourself.
Thank you to our sponsor!
- Go to https://www.rocketmoney.com/SHANDY to save money and cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a few taps!
More Dr. Judith Orloff:
- The book, "The Genius Of Empathy": https://bit.ly/3U6uCRk
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/judith.orloff.md
- Website: https://drjudithorloff.com
Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome To The Legendary Dr. Judith Orloff!
3:41 - What Is Empathy & Empathy Vs Compassion
5:10 - What Are Her Thoughts On The Term “Empath” Becoming Mainstream?
6:52 - The Biggest Misconceptions About Empathy
10:32 - Drawing Boundaries
16:19 - Is Empathy Something We’re Born With? Nature Vs Nurture
17:31 - Can One Really Become *More* Empathic?
20:38 - The Empathy Types
23:13 - Mismatched Empathy In Relationships
29:19 - Tips For Self Empathy
31:24 - How Can I Make Empathy Work In A Way That Isn’t Ultimately To My Disadvantage?
34:04 - Is Self Awareness A Prerequisite to Self Empathy?
34:54 - Tips For Avoiding Empathy-Deficient Types
37:10 - When It Feels Like Someone Doesn’t Deserve Empathy
39:19 - Empathy Vs Enablement
43:29 - Is There Such A Thing As Too Much Empathy?
45:12 - Sharleen’s Takeaways
46:11 - Tips For Empathizing With Someone Whose Beliefs You Fundamentally Disagree With
49:06 - Shandy Debrief
If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
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