In this episode of Unlearning Autism, I sit down with Eliza Fricker — author, illustrator, advocate, and one of the most respected voices in conversations around Autistic children, PDA, education, and parenting outside the traditional behaviour model. Eliza is the author of A Different Kind of Parenting, the Sunday Times bestselling Can’t Not Won’t, the autobiographical Thumbsucker, and her latest book Could Try Harder, out May 2026. Together, we explore what happens when children are misunderstood by systems built around compliance, performance, and narrow ideas of success. We talk about parenting children whose needs don’t fit the mainstream mould, the emotional cost of being repeatedly “missed,” and why so many families are forced to become advocates simply to protect their children. This is a rich, honest, deeply human conversation about education, identity, compassion, and the courage it takes to do things differently. This conversation touches on:• PDA and why traditional behaviour approaches can cause harm• the school system and children who are misunderstood within it• parenting beyond reward-and-punishment models• shame, blame, and the pressure placed on families• the emotional reality of advocacy for your child• how creativity and humour can tell hard truths• why different children need different ways of being supported• reimagining success, learning, and belonging Eliza speaks with warmth, clarity, and lived wisdom about the realities many families know intimately but rarely hear reflected in mainstream conversations. Don’t forget to subscribe to Unlearning Autism to hear more guest conversations and my shorter My Autistic Musings episodes each week. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit from hearing it. About Eliza Eliza Fricker is an author, illustrator, and advocate working in the areas of PDA, Autistic experience, parenting, and education. She is the author of A Different Kind of Parenting, the Sunday Times bestseller Can’t Not Won’t, Thumbsucker, and Could Try Harder. Through her books, talks, webinars, consultations, and the much-loved Missing the Mark illustrations, Eliza has helped countless parents and educators better understand children whose needs are often misunderstood. Her work invites a more compassionate, informed, and human way of supporting children and families. Books: Could Try Harder is available for pre-order and is out in May 2026. Website: https://www.missingthemark.co.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elizafricker_missingthemark 🎧 Listen on Spotify / Apple Podcasts / christinedoyle.ie🔗 Full transcript for this episode is available on Spotify Podcasts You can connect with Christine on Instagram: @christinedoyle.ieVisit christinedoyle.ie for webinars, speaking work, resources, and the Wild Women Community.
