Zero Effort

Coline & Alex

This is the podcast we never had and probably the reason why one of us still doesn’t speak German and the other one never really learned French. We’re a German–French duo who spend a lot of time talking about words. Not to teach vocabulary, but to understand what’s actually going on underneath. This is not a language course. And definitely not a “how to behave” guide. It’s about: why things feel different in Germany and Francewhat we secretly admire (and don’t understand) about each others culturework culture, daily life, and unspoken rulesand laughing at ourselves instead of taking everything too seriouslyIf you’re living between cultures, working in Germany, curious about France, or just enjoy honest conversations with a bit of humor and self-irony — you’re in the right place. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 2 days ago

    #26 - The One Where We Tell You Why We Talk In English

    In this episode, we address a question we get all the time: Why do a German and a French person record their podcast in English? We explain our reasoning, but we also take this opportunity to look at how our native languages shape how we communicate in English—and the hilarious direct translations that sneak in. We break down 4 distinct linguistic habits and colloquialisms that French people (and sometimes Germans) use that don't quite translate perfectly: 🫀 "By Heart" (Par cœur): The beautiful historical origin of this phrase, how it connects to ancient beliefs about the heart being the seat of memory, and why the German version (Auswendig lernen) is just a bit less poetic.🤢 "Vomite" (Vomir): Why Coline uses a highly clinical medical term when she means she "threw up," and how Alex uses the German equivalent ("Ich könnte kotzen") to express extreme annoyance rather than actual physical sickness.🧐 "Si" vs. "Doch": The ultimate linguistic tool to contradict a negative question. We realize that the French "Si" and the German "Doch" are exactly the same concept—something English completely lacks!🗣️ "Quoi" and "Hein": How the French end almost every sentence with random words or sounds just for emphasis, and how Germans do the exact same thing regionally with words like "oder wat" or "gell". Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a 5-star review, and check out our Instagram accounts for new videos every day🥖 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #26 - The One Where We Tell You Why We Talk In English

  2. 13 Jul

    #25 - The One Where We Talk About Weddings

    Welcome back to another chaotic Monday episode! This week, Coline is back from her trip, and we are kicking off with the most important update: summer weather, fluctuating skin tones, and exactly why Alex spends his sunny days in a dark basement studio. ☀️🕶️ We then dive into Coline's recent observations from Italy, which sparked a massive debate about international store names. Why do German brands like DM and MediaMarkt exist abroad, but under completely different names? (And why does France seemingly have neither?) We also unpack the cultural trauma of finding Apfelstrudel in an Italian supermarket when all you wanted was fresh local food, and why coming back to Germany means facing the ultimate craving: Spätzle. 🍝🛒 Finally, we transition into our main topic for the day: Summer Wedding Season. Since it's peak marriage season, we are diving deep into some rather strange traditions and wedding trivia, including: 🇩🇪 The "Right Hand" Ring Rule: Why Germans wear their wedding bands on a different hand compared to France and the rest of the world.🏛️ Standesamt vs. Church: Why a church wedding in Germany holds zero legal power and you have to get the bureaucracy out of the way first.🔊 The Autokorso: The loud, honking car convoy tradition that police graciously tolerate on weekends.🪙 Brautschuhe mit Pfennigen: The old superstition of brides paying for their shoes entirely in copper cents.💍 The Wedding Cake Trap: A look into a typical German wedding timeline, the afternoon cake tradition, and the psychological meaning behind whose hand is on top when cutting the cake.🎈 EVG/EVJF vs. JGA: A breakdown of Bachelor and Bachelorette parties, the public humiliation factor, and a legendary rural French tradition that literally translates to "burying your single life" in a coffin. Do you agree with the right-hand ring rule? Have you ever witnessed a bride-kidnapping or a tree-sawing contest? Let us know your thoughts and your own country's wedding traditions in the comments! Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a 5-star review, and check out Coline's tan on Instagram! 🥖 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  3. 6 Jul

    #24 - The One Where Coline Shares 10 Things She Hates About Germany

    After sharing the things she loves about Germany in a previous episode, Coline is holding nothing back today! In Episode 24, we dive into the 10 Things Coline Hates (Or Strongly Dislikes) About Germany. Before getting into the list, Alex and Coline warm up by comparing school grading scales around the globe. Did you know that the letter E doesn't exist in US grading so it won't get confused with "Excellent"? Or that Finland grades from 4 to 10 to encourage student progress, while China uses a 100-point scale? Then, the main debate begins. From limited supermarket selections to the reality of German service culture, Coline breaks down her biggest everyday frustrations after six years of living in Germany, while Alex tries to defend (or completely agrees with) his home country. Let us know in the comments: what are your top three things you love or hate about living in Germany or France? Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #24 - The One Where Coline Shares 10 Things She Hates About Germany

  4. 29 Jun

    #23 - The One Where We Talk About German Hobbies

    Welcome to Episode 23! This week, we are diving deep into the fascinating, highly structured, and sometimes bizarre world of German hobbies. Alex kicks things off by showing Coline an actual German Instagram account (GermanBradCutter) dedicated entirely to cutting the perfect 11-millimeter slice of bread. This perfectly segues into the realization that German bread culture is so serious, it's literally protected as a UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage (with over 3,200 types of bread and 10,000 master bakeries). But the cultural shocks don't stop at the bakery. We unpack the intense commitment required to join a traditional German Verein (club). From the Schützenverein (Marksman Club), where the ultimate prize is buying beer for the whole town, to the legendary Schrebergarten. Coline is absolutely horrified to learn that renting a relaxing garden plot in Germany comes with a massive federal rulebook dictating exact fence heights, plant distances, and a strictly enforced midday silence. Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇩🇪 Der Schrebergarten (An allotment garden where Germans go to relax... by strictly following federal rules, measuring their 1.25m fences, and adhering to the 33.3% land-use law).🇩🇪 Die Mittagsruhe (The sacred midday quiet time between 1:00 PM and 3:00 PM where absolutely no noise is allowed).🇩🇪 Der Schützenkönig (The "Shooting King" of the local marksman club, who gets a wooden target on their house and the expensive honor of buying the whole club beer).🇩🇪 Die Modelleisenbahn (The classic German basement empire of miniature model trains, mostly built in the 1:87 "H0" scale).🇩🇪 Wanderlust (The deep German desire to go hiking on Sundays, usually equipped with matching Jack Wolfskin windbreakers).🇩🇪 Der Verein (A registered club. You need exactly 7 people to start one, and joining means a serious life commitment, not just a casual subscription). Also: Why the younger German generation has swapped model trains for hyper-realistic farming and train simulator video games, the difference between French meals and the pragmatic German Abendbrot, and our brilliant business plan to launch a Franco-German "Apéro & Baguette Cutting" club. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, subscribing so you never miss an episode, and dropping your favorite weird hobby in the comments. 🥖🎯 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #23 - The One Where We Talk About German Hobbies

  5. 22 Jun

    #22 - The One Where Coline Shares Her Favourite Things About Germany

    Berlin has suddenly hit 30 degrees, the air is sticky, and Alex and Colline are dealing with the heat by doing what Germans do best: talking about the weather. 🥵 Welcome to Episode 22! Before we get into the main topic, Coline triggers some major high school PTSD by talking about the infamous French Baccalauréat. But then, we get to the main event. After 21 episodes of complaining, Colline has prepared the ultimate list: 10 Things A French Person Absolutely Loves About Germany. Alex is ready for some Balsam für die Seele (balm for the soul) as Colline praises the wide German streets, the magic of the Biergarten, and why Apfelschorle is the greatest German invention of all time. We also dive into the German obsession with the "dm" drugstore (where you can print photos and get free baby diapers!), the concept of Spätis, and why Colline feels much safer walking in Berlin at night than in Paris. Plus, we tackle the wild world of German sauna rules and the famous FKK (Freikörperkultur) nude culture! Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Le Baccalauréat (Le Bac) (The French high school exit exam).🇩🇪 FKK / Freikörperkultur (Free body culture. A clothing-optional lifestyle that originated in East Germany so everyone could be socially equal while naked).🇩🇪 Die Apfelschorle (Apple juice mixed with sparkling water which Coline officially declares the best thing Germany has ever created).🇩🇪 Der Späti (Berlin’s late-night convenience stores that often function as neighborhood hangout spots and mini beer gardens).🇩🇪 Balsam für die Seele ("Balm for the soul" the exact feeling Alex gets finally hearing Coline compliment his country). Also: Why French doctors have to write actual prescriptions for Vitamin C, why Germans instantly occupy every single square inch of sunlight the moment spring arrives. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, subscribe so you don't miss next week's brutal follow-up ("Things Coline Hates About Germany"), and let us know in the comments: what is your favorite thing about living in Germany? Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #22 - The One Where Coline Shares Her Favourite Things About Germany

  6. 15 Jun

    #21 - The One Where We Finally Reveal Last Week's Cliffhanger

    Have you ever belted out the lyrics to Tokio Hotel’s Monsoon without actually knowing a single word of German? 😅 Welcome to Episode 21! We kick things off with a beautiful, completely made-up vocal performance by Coline, which leads us to discover the hilarious French concept of singing in Yaourt (Yoghurt). Then, Alex brings the receipts to follow up on last week's "Géramont" cheese betrayal. We dive deep into the psychology of "Foreign Branding"—why a French Le makes chocolate taste more premium and how the "Made in Germany" label actually started as a post-war warning before accidentally becoming a global mark of quality. We also expose the ultimate marketing lies of our childhoods: German brands pretending to be French (Bresso, Chantré, Dr. Oetker Bistro) and the devastating truth that the famous "Piemont Cherry" inside Mon Chéri chocolates is a complete geographical lie. Finally, Alex drops the mysterious French word he promised to reveal: La Garçonnière. We unpack the scandalous history of secret French apartments used for extra-marital affairs, the traditional Cinq à sept (5 to 7) timeframe dedicated to them, and why the Austrian definition of this word is significantly more boring. Plus, we review a new study ranking the happiest cities in Germany (Spoiler: Erfurt takes the crown, and Berlin is nowhere to be found). Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Chanter en Yaourt (Singing in yoghurt—when you confidently sing a song in a foreign language by just making up sounds that mimic the words).🇫🇷 La Garçonnière (Historically, a secret apartment used to hide an affair. Today, the French equivalent of a "man cave").🇫🇷 Le Cinq à sept (The 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM window—traditionally the prime time for French affairs between the end of the workday and returning home for dinner).🇩🇪 Die Piemont-Kirsche (The legendary cherry from Mon Chéri commercials that Ferrero promised was from Italy, but is actually sourced from everywhere else). New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and let us know in the comments: do your native languages have a word for a secret affair apartment? 🍒🤫 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #21 - The One Where We Finally Reveal Last Week's Cliffhanger

  7. 8 Jun

    #20 - The One Where We Have Zero Structure (But A Lot Of Fun)

    Recording from a sweltering 26-degree podcast studio in Berlin, Alex’s brain is officially melting. 🥵 Welcome to Episode 20! After an awkward pause and some complaints about the heat, we dive into the beautiful, untranslatable French concept of Le Terroir the unique mix of soil, climate, and tradition that gives regional food its identity. While Colline talks about the 1,200+ varieties of French cheese, Alex proudly brings up the German equivalent: the famous Spreewaldgurke (pickled cucumber) from the East. Naturally, we fall right back into our favorite topic: the strict rules of the French Plateau de Fromage. Colline gives a masterclass on how to respect the shape of the cheese (never cut off the pointy tip!), why you should never remove the rind, and why eating cheese with jam or mustard is a culinary offense. Plus, we settle the ultimate debate: cheese must always be eaten before the dessert, not instead of it! Alex also defends his controversial love for Babybel and the "French" cheese Géramont (which is actually a German marketing lie). Finally, we hit the language barrier. Colline tries to teach Alex the confusing rules of La Liaison (connecting words when you speak, except for the word for "beans") and why saying "I miss you" in French (Tu me manques) actually translates backward to "You are missing from me." Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Le Terroir (The untranslatable combination of land, climate, soil, and tradition that gives French food its specific identity).🇫🇷 La Liaison (The phonetic connection between words, like in bon appétit, designed to make French sound smooth).🇫🇷 Tu me manques ("You are missing from me" – the painfully confusing French way to say "I miss you").🇫🇷 Brillat-Savarin (Colline's all-time favorite creamy cheese. Highly recommended).🇩🇪 Die Spreewaldgurke (The famous pickled cucumber from East Germany).🇩🇪 Der Flammkuchen (The incredibly thin, pizza-like dish from the French-German border region of Alsace). Also: Why Germans view meals as a purely transactional way to refill energy while the French view it as a social event, the German habit of eating cheese with sweet mustard, and a massive cliffhanger for our next episode! New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, share the podcast with your friends, and let us know in the comments: do you put jam and mustard on your cheese board? 🧀🥒 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #20 - The One Where We Have Zero Structure (But A Lot Of Fun)

  8. 1 Jun

    #19 - The One Where We Record Live From Paris

    Recording live from the 4th arrondissement in Paris! (Video Podcast available on Spotify!) 🥐 Welcome to Episode 19. Alex and Coline are officially in the same room (and the same country). After walking through the sweltering 31-degree heat of Paris, Alex is absolutely mind-blown by the density of incredible restaurants and bakeries. Coline plays the perfect Parisian guide, showing Alex why he never has to check Google Reviews for a French Brasserie, and trying to teach him how to pronounce his lunch (Steak haché à cheval). The highlight of the episode? The grand unboxing of the legendary Cédric Grolet pastries! Alex braved the lines to pick up the world-famous €18 Trompe L'œil (optical illusion) desserts. We do a live, slightly sweaty taste-test of the Passion Fruit and Vanilla creations and debate whether the high-end craftsmanship justifies the crazy price tag. We also unpack some classic Paris vs. Berlin culture shocks. Alex complains about the tiny hotel rooms, the lack of trees, and the aggressively narrow crosswalks. Coline defends her city but admits she would never actually want to live in Paris long-term. Plus, we debate the French habit of sitting down to enjoy a quick coffee at the Brasserie versus the German "to-go" culture. Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Trompe L'œil (The famous technique Cédric Grolet uses to make his pastries look exactly like raw fruit).🇫🇷 Sauf (A French road sign word meaning "Except," which Alex points out looks exactly like the German word for drinking).🇫🇷 Steak haché à cheval (A French dish of ground beef topped with a fried egg, which Alex desperately tries to pronounce).🇫🇷 Arrondissement (The snail-like spiral districts that make up the map of Paris).🇩🇪 Das Hacksteak (The pragmatic German equivalent of a burger patty served on a plate).🇩🇪 Die Fromagerie (Just kidding, that's French. But Alex spent the whole trip pointing at them anyway). New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, send us a DM with your own cultural shocks, and let us know in the comments: do you prefer the beautiful, tiny streets of Paris or the wide, green parks of Berlin? 🍋🗼🇩🇪🇫🇷 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    #19 - The One Where We Record Live From Paris
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About

This is the podcast we never had and probably the reason why one of us still doesn’t speak German and the other one never really learned French. We’re a German–French duo who spend a lot of time talking about words. Not to teach vocabulary, but to understand what’s actually going on underneath. This is not a language course. And definitely not a “how to behave” guide. It’s about: why things feel different in Germany and Francewhat we secretly admire (and don’t understand) about each others culturework culture, daily life, and unspoken rulesand laughing at ourselves instead of taking everything too seriouslyIf you’re living between cultures, working in Germany, curious about France, or just enjoy honest conversations with a bit of humor and self-irony — you’re in the right place. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Coline & Alex
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    26
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Coline Bergeon & Alex Wagner
  • Show Website
    Zero Effort

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